No, you perverts, I don’t mean as a mouthwash in a hit-2-birds-with-one-gargle kind of way. And no, not to wash your Roborat and Beth Loggins with either, because we now have a masculine wash for that. I’m talking about ANOTHER way feminine wash can be of use to us males, the gender with no vajayjay.
Okay, how did I get here? Let’s start from the very beginning. I remember a foreigner friend of ours, once told us that they don’t wash after they poop, they just wipe. For us Pinoys, that’s an affront to our prissy sense of hygiene. Personally, the idea of just wiping, and not washing with soap and water, is unthinkable; I might as well walk around with a necklace made of poop. So apparently, many other people around the globe don’t really wash their chocolate starfishes like we do. That preamble out of the way, a friend recently told me, that a doctor told him that washing our poop chutes with soap isn’t really very healthy, because the inside part is already very sensitive, unlike the outer part of our “brown gates” which can be safely washed with soap. You have all that PH balance to contend with. Of course, hypochondriac that I am, I get very paranoid about stuff that “aren’t healthy”.
So I suddenly remember a conversation Delle and I had a couple of years back. I don’t remember exactly how we got to the topic, but she did tell me that I should use feminine wash instead of soap to wash myself with after doing #2. It was basically the same argument, that the bumhole is actually a very sensitive part of the body that deserves a little more gentleness when it comes to choosing cleaning materials for it. I never really paid much attention to the idea, since soap worked well with me, thank you very much. But this idea coming up again after all these years got me thinking. Maybe I should look into this.
So I was thinking, should I? Next time I go to the grocery, do I stealthily stop at the feminine wash aisle, wait until there are no people looking, then quickly grab one and roll my shopping cart as far away from that area and go somewhere manly like maybe the tools area? But then how do I pay for it at the cash register? Do I fake my way out of an embarrassing situation and blurt out something like: “Ahoy there, matey! Gotta get this for the missus! You know, she gotta wash after we bump furries!” Good grief. Is it worth all the trouble?
I don’t even remember the brand Delle suggested I buy. It’s the less obvious names I was going for. No giveaway brand names like: “Washorbajeyjey” or “Ang Fake-Fake Mo”. It was the more subtle brands that could pass off as shampoo or hand wash.
So is it true? Should we use something gentler to wash our little brown jewels? If it were really that urgent, shouldn’t there be products specifically for washing our butts? Do I start buying generic dispensers that I could put the feminine wash in to avoid explaining to guests why I have feminine wash in my toilet? Ayayay, sis bumbay.
uuuhhh.. we don’t really need to wash the inside, do we? i mean, we don’t really need to stick one soapy finger in after we do #2. hmm.. this blog got me thinking of my butthole! i’ve never done this before!!!
“Ang Fake-Fake Mo” – Lols! Very funny Chico! 😀 You can suggest this as the brand name. 😀
I don’t know… I just use water. I have this shower hose thingy beside my toilet at home and I think the high pressure makes my starfish clean enough. I don’t like the thought of putting soap near my starfish then use it later for my body, nor the thought that someone used the soap for their starfish. (It’s weird I know)
hmmm… now that had me thinking… soap or not to soap.
Just use soap and water. Filipinos have been doing it for thousands, okay hundreds, of years and I haven’t heard of anyone who died because they washed their starfish with soap.
hmm.. i think we must be more concerned about our colon’s cleanliness other than the starfish gates.. anyway both should be clean.
I think God made us complete, so for me water should be enough. I found out, not scientifically, but observationally, that most of my female rels get sick easily altho they use soap and feminine wash. While I am free of those when I use only water–lots of water–both on front and back. Of course they get soaped thoroughly when I take a bath once a day, but that’s about it.
Sorry for TMI, but you brought it up. =)
Aha! So this is why when I go to the US, wash rooms in hotels don’t have bidet or even dippers (o sige na nga tabo) for goodness sakes. It has always left me wondering how they wash after doing #1 and #2. Use of tissue papers tend to get your down there itchy ya know.
i could hardly understands the other words you use on this entry . . . hahaha
ayyayyay vajayjay !!! winner !!! =)
hahahaha! im thinking, im thinking! Pwedeng pwede!
basta ako i have this speacial soap for my poetry. and i like the term,vajayjay. hahahah
poetry…LOL! 😀
hey guys, there’s a masculine wash na.. it’s called Freshmen.. it’s out already
here’s a link i could find for the said Masciline Wash.. http://blog.ademagnaye.com/2010/07/12/a-comparative-review-of-freshman-masculine-wash-and-peni-fresh-male-organ-wash-soap/
🙂
Right. I was about to recommend this, too. :] haven’t tried it yet, though.
oh here it is pala…
http://freshmanmasculinewash.com/
I use liquid soap (may pump) na germicidal daw from watson’s. I don’t like soap nga kasi yukky pag lahat yun ang gamit after #2.
Someone even used the feminine wash as a facial wash. I think that was Ryan Bang from PBB Teen Edition. 😀
LMAO, Chico, you always crack me up! Loved the words you used.
BTW, the Vajayjay term reminded me of the Nazi from Grey’s Anatomy 😀
If you’re going to use feminine wash for your, um, “chocolate starfish” I suggest using the variety that has cooling properties. Para malamig. Hehe.
I normally use soap in mine but I don’t normally put it in my hole. =/
can i suggest that u use something that has chlorhexidine like gyne pro. My doc friend says that chlorhexidine is a very effective cleanser. That’s why we also have it in mouthwash like oracare.
harharhar ‘Ang Fake-Fake Mo’! I agree, this should be a brand name 😀
Hi chico .. i do sometimes think that you and delle were philosophers, lawyers or doctors in your past lives :-). I chanced upon a Masculine Wash beside the Feminine Wash area in the grocery store. And it’s called .. “Freshman” with Tea Tree Oil. I don’t know how it smells but my hubby says it’s A-OK! Yes, your little brown jewels have thin skin and a gentler liquid ‘soap’ is justifiable. If you haven’t tried it yet, ask Delle to buy you one… I did purchase one for my hubby … or maybe I’ll send you one over at the station ? ;-P
can’t we just tightly close the hole pag nagsasabon and open it when washing??? LOL
naman kasi… we need to get to the bottom of this. LOL
Haha funny! Though…when i went to italy last year,they have this another toilet seat where you can wash your pwet and yeah they use feminine wash,its written in italian words and theres a flower picture and a lady..so i thought it is a fem wash?
Who the hell inserts a soapy finger into his/her bunghole to clean up? WTF?
Water without soap is fine. That’s clean enough for that area of the body. Soap actually disrupts the ph balance even outside the bunghole.
You can use Baktolin although I don’t know the part about inserting it into your starfish… It’s a liquid wash solution for anyone. It can also be used as a feminine wash because it’s PH 5.5 and it’s not commonly sold in stores. However, it has great antibacterial properties 🙂 My brother-in-law loves to use it when bathing because he says it feels very light on the skin. My boyfriend also loves to use the product (I gave him 1 Li). 🙂
when travelling abroad, i always bring my ‘travel tabo’… initially my travel companions would make fun about it but eventually they’d stop when they borrow it. the punas-punas w/ the tissue paper doesn’t work for me.
ka-lurky! and i was reading this during my lunch break, while having my lunch! LOL.
Soap is okay. We just use it lang naman to wash the outside of our backdoor. No need to wash the inside. And besides, we don’t pick our butts like we pick our noses.
Goodness, only in your blog will I ever think a brown starfish resembles the poop hole LOL! I’ll read on. Di pa ko tapos. gusto ko lang mag comment agad. :O
okay here’s a thought: maybe if you had hemorrhoids when the inner skin of the rectum has turned inside out then that’s the time you need a gentler yet very much effective cleaning liquid like maybe Betadine Feminine wash. Kasi the poop hole has become a sensitive part (since the mucosa has already exposed itself). But if everything is normal then good old soap is okay since it’s only the epidermis that is exposed to the regular soap. So there.
When I travel I use wet wipes instead of tissue paper. Hassle kung walang tubig and sabon and I don’t really like using toilet paper. Ok lang ba to use baby or wet wipes?
At home I only use liquid soap with antibac. It’s more hygeinic to use liquid soap.
Can I use it as a soap?
Clean digestions is most important of all. I aim to eat the right balance of foods (1/3 plant protein with every meal) so the shit is lubricated and falls out of my arse in one piece…without any shit left hanging there to wipe up or stuck in my intestine. When I wipe, there isn’t even any shit on the toilet paper after the first wipe – just clear, natural lubricant that doesn’t even have an odour. That’s when you can feel really clean. I still like to use natural vegan soap in the shower (like apricot), on my exfoliating gloves, and that soap doesn’t hurt at all (and I never get infections or inflammations down there). A bit of a scratch with my gloves, and rosy, smooth cheeks to boot (none of those little pimples or ingrown hairs on my body either). That filthy Dr, I bet he’s one of those old hag men that rolls up to brothels stinking like shit and is as useless as a baby without its mum…he needs to be binned. We don’t need more men stinking like shit in this stinking world. Oh, no ciggies definately, and I hate boozing because that kind of thing makes shit disgusting…mushy, sluggish, and it ends up stuck all over your rear end.