The fastest way to embarrass yourself is to let kids talk. I remember someone telling me a story that when their boss came over to dinner, their 8-year-old opened the door. Upon seeing the boss, he yells: “Daddy! nandito na yung sabi mong bad breath!” Here are other examples.
April 13, 2009 → The Top Ten Things You Don’t Want To Hear From Kids – SC
- “Oscar dela Hopia – Son kills a butterfly. Dad: “Bad! No butter for a week!” Son kills a honeybee. Dad: “Bad! No honey for a week!” Mom kills a cockroach. Son: “C’m0n dad! Tell her!”
- Bridget Honda – My son once asked me: “Mommy, nagkapag cyber sex na ba kayo ni Daddy?”
- Boknoi – When my wife was pregnant my son said to her: “You’re fat!” We explained that it’s because Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy. After that he asked: “So what’s growing in your butt?”
- angpaghihimagsiknijoeshred – “Hey mom, look! I’m a piggy bank, I swallowed money!”
- SC – It was my kid nephew’s birthday, and as he was about to blow his birthday cake, my sister asked him what he wished for. He said: “Sana hindi nalang ikaw ang m0mmy ko.”
- Mommy Jho – When I asked my 6-year-old what he wanted to be when he grew up, he said: “Barangay tanod.
- Racer – My friend shot her young son an angry look after he did something bad. She was shocked when he begged: “Mother, wag mo kong jombagin!”
- Oscar dela Hopia – Mom’s friend to a kid: “Wow, ang cute mo naman!” Kid: “Salamat po, sana kayo din!”
- Maximo – Anak: “Mommy, kinakain ba yung ilaw? Kasi nadinig ko sabi mo kay daddy kagabi, “Hon, patayin mo na yung ilaw, kakainin ko na yan…”
- Uriboy – A friend was on her way to the grocery so she told her daughter to list down what she wanted. When she opened the list, there was only one thing written on the paper: “Freedom.”
- Fatty – When our lola died, everyone was silent. Then my 5-year-old nephew said, “O, ano pang hinihintay niyo? Iyak na!”
- Eres – My young cousin is a special child. One time, I saw him and asked him if he had a message for my brother who wasn’t able to come. My cousin said: “Magkikita kami sa ika-lima ng Nobyembre.” We had no idea what he meant. A week after, November 4, my lola died. We all went to the wake November 5. My brother saw my cousin there.
- Feb 15 – Son: “Mama, si kuya nagbigti sa banyo!” Mom: “Ha?!? Anaaak!!!” Son: “Joke, joke, joke!” Mom: “Masamang biro yan ha!” Son: “Sori po, sa sala siya nagbigti…”
- Nobag – Teacher: “Why did you bring your cat to school?” Kid: “I fear for her life, coz I heard my sister’s boyfriend tell her, ‘tomorrow I’ll eat your pussy’!”
- Feb 15 – Son: “Tay, kapatid ko po ba si Ninong?” Dad: “Hindi, kumpare ko siya. Bakit?” Son: “Kasi nakita ko siyang dumedede kay inay…”
- Arvie – Kid: “Mommy, tumawag ako kay Daddy pero babae ang sumagot!” Mom: “Sabi ko na nga ba may kabit yang walang kwenta mong ama! Anong sabi?” Kid: “The number you dialled is unattended…”
- RC & Cess – During dinner with guests, my aunt asked her daughter to say grace. The daughter said she didn’t know what to pray. My aunt told her: “Just pray what you heard be pray kanina.” Her daughter started: “Oh God, why did I ever invite these people?”
- Bluegrey – Kid: “Mommy, today tinuruan kami sa school ng kagandahang asal!” Mom: “Eh di marunong ka nang gumamit ng po at opo?” Kid: “Gago ka ba, oo naman!”
- SC – Kid: “Mom, is it bad to walk around the house holding a knife?” Mom: “Of course, why?” Kid: “Kasi I see our former yaya doing it every night…” (Apparently a former yaya died after being thrown out of the house by the mom).
- Feb 15 – Kid: “Ma, nahihilo ako.” Mom: “Gutom lang yan.” Kid: “Ma, nasusuka ako.” Mom: “Sinisikmura ka lang.” Kid: “Ma, buntis yata ako!” Mom: “Pag hindi ka tumigil, pipitikin ko bayag mo!”