The Best And The Rest 103

A euphemism is defined as: “the substitution of a mild, indirect, or vague expression for one thought to be offensive, harsh, or blunt.”  Propriety dictates not so much propagating lies, but to gild less appetizing truths.  You don’t avoid the punches, you just soften the blow.  So in effect, you say, “malaki ang hinaharap”, instead of, “mala-papayang dede”.  Or something like that.

August 7, 2008 → The Top Ten Euphemisms

1. Caloy 311 – In our barkada, the term we use for girls who are hot, flirty and bitchy, is “subterranean”. It’s a euphemism for “sarap tirahin yan”.
2. Dyn – We had a prof in college who we called Pocahontas because she looks like a pokpok.
3. Astroboy – Percussive maintenance – the art of whacking an electronic device for it to work again.
4. JoeCool – He’s not losing hair, he’s gaining face!
5. Peo – Tagalog euphemism for panty its “salung-guhit”.
6. Astroboy – I’m not unemployed…I’m a job seeker!
7. DatgurL/Justin – When you’re called “BUTTERFACE”, it’s n0t a compliment. It’s short for – “Everything’s pretty BUT HER FACE.”
8. Daisy6 – During college, there were 2 girls we used call “wacky”, because their eyebrows were tattoos, they don’t have kilay. That’s why it’s “wacky” = “walang kilay”.
9. tyroncaliente – We call someone wearing tight pants, “boy piso”. Sa sikip ng pantalon, pati bigote ni rizal sa pisong nasa bulsa, nakabakat.
10. Astroboy – “Taong uy-ay”: Pag nakatalikod, “Uy!” Pag humarap, “Ay…”
11. No name – “PPPP” means, papalapit ng papalapit, papanget ng papanget.
12. Elanor – In Clueless, Cher said, “She’s a Monet. From far away it’s okay, but up close it’s a big old mess.”
13. John 090 – When someone asks about work, tell them, “Ayun, CEO pa din sa company namin.” CEO: Common Employee Only.
14. Mike Apol – We call ugly spinsters SAMSUNG: SAMa ng mukha, SUNGit pa!
15. No name – I used to call somebody PITA – Pain In The Ass.
16. Jose de vengenge – “Jackpot” – Pinay na may boyfriend na foreigner.
17. Dru – People with bad breath: “Foot In Mouth”.
18. Espeks/Kebong – Hindi siya janitor, sanitary engineer siya.
19. angpaghihimagsiknijoeshred – Every morning he woke up “pleasuring the pickle”.
20. scrambledegg – Sa Pinas, ang “straight acting”, “straight curious”, “straight tripper”, at “swinger”, isa lang ang ibig sabhin: “bakla”.
21. BertongTigaz – I call girls with very small boobs: “walanjo”, medium sized: “mejo”, big boobs: “mountain jo”.