The Best And The Rest 33

Don’t even get me started. If you get people talking about religion, it will inevitable end up in an argument. Religion, faith, and the concept of God, are topics so subjective, that it’s ironically ripe for discord and dissension. You can’t really prove that you’re right and someone is wrong, right? So before we get into any disagreement, here’s the Top Ten for today.

March 18, 2008 → The Top Ten Religion Moments

1. Dongster/Joy - I can’t forget my 1st encounter with Pope John Paul II in grade school. When I saw him from a distance, my knees suddenly trembled and I started crying without knowing why.
2. Sapphire - My 87-yr-old lola, who happens to be a devout Catholic, never gets tired of saying the rosary 3 times a day. The problem is, whenever she’s about to finish, she always falls asleep, so she has start all over again.
3. Dark Fader - I once worked for an all-girl Catholic school run by nuns. Remember their vow of poverty? When I was there, I overheard a bunch of nuns discussing which of the latest cellphone models to buy.
4. LOipogi - In a UP dorm where I stayed, we had this Muslim dorm mate. There were times when we couldn’t enter the room because he would lock it. It turned out that he was doing pre-dawn or pre-sunset prayers.
5. Gabriel Knight - There’s this one priest during Holy Week service who said, while pointing to the crucifix, “Look at what God can do for man. And look at what man can do to God.”
6. Clauoie of Rizal - During my elementary days, the late archbishop Cardinal Sin visited our school. Our teachers told us to address him as, “Your Eminence”. When one of my classmates saw him, he shouted, “Good morning, your enemies!” The teachers and the good Cardinal were shocked.
7. Andrew - I have a friend who’s not allowed to go out on Saturdays. He’s a seventh-day adventist. After classes on Fridays, he would rush home before sundown. And during Saturday gimmicks, he would catch up with us after sundown. He’s not supposed to do work, even study, during Saturdays.
8. Raymond - My dad went to Siquijor & watched a doll being animated by a mangkukulam. When a friend murmured the Lord’s Prayer, the doll stopped dancing & stared at him.
9. Frank - My mom’s a Rizalista and we had to be baptized twice: Catholic and Rizalista.
10. Bernadette - We have this church mate who, at one time during testimonials, stood up and shouted, “NAG-RAPTURE NA!!!” She has a mental condition pala and didn’t take her medicine that day.
11. Kooky - At our province during Holy Week, we went to a Stations of the Cross where real people posed as the biblical characters. At the scene of the crucifixion, everyone was distracted because “Jesus” was wearing maong shorts.
12. Jen - I met my boyfriend during a training and fell in love. We’re about to celebrate our 1st anniversary together. He wants us to marry but we can’t: I’m Catholic, he’s Muslim. Neither wants to convert.
13. TReiz - During Holy Week, we fast from lunch good Friday up until breakfast on Easter Sunday. And I’m an acolyte for the vigil which takes place 12mn to 6am.
14. Nina Del Papa - My then boyfriend was teaching his kid brother to pray. They were praying Ama Namin, and when they got to the part, “Bigyan niyo po kami ng aming kakanin sa araw-araw”, his kid brother blurted out, “Kuya, ulam din…”
15. Skye - My husband’s cousin is a “mystika”. During his cousin’s wedding, the officiating minister was a woman wearing white clothes, with a crown, and everyone had to stand all throughout the 2-hour ceremony.
16. Rookrose - My religion moment happened when our neighbors came over to pray the rosary. Everything went smoothly until we reached the part when the lead enumerates holy items and the group will reply, “Ipanalangin niyo po kami.” The lead went: “Torre ni David…” Reply: “Ipanalangin niyo po kami.” Lead: “Tala sa umaga…” Reply: “Ipanalangin niyo po kami.” Lead: “Anak ni Valiente…” Everyone stopped and started laughing.
17. Skye - During one of our church summer camps, the prayer leader was sooo hungry, that when she lead the prayer before lunch, she ended it with, “Sa ngalan ng isda…amen.”
18. momiGEL- My friend went to a crucifixion in Pampanga, and there was an old lady who was being taken down from the cross. The host interviewing the old lady asked, “Any last words of faith?” And the old lady said, “Ang masasabi ko lang ay…masakit ang pagtanggal ng pakoooooh! Waaaaah!” And she started screaming and crying.
19. Rafa - We were talking about religions in my class and one guy asked who is the “god” of Scientology? A girl from the back answered, “Tom Cruise?”
20. Hoiram - During a cenakulo, some of the cast played a trick on the lady playing the role of the Virgin Mary. In the crucifixion scene, the guy playing the role of Jesus, wearing only a loincloth, did not wear any underwear. The “Virgin Mary”, who was kneeling down at the foot of the cross, was supposed to look up and was so surprised by the view above that she almost cursed before she delivered her lines.
21. No name - Every Holy Week may mga nagpe-penitensya, walking the streets hitting their backs till they bleed. My cousin and I filled our water guns with alcohol and sprayed the penitents’ backs. They chased us shouting, ‘”Pag inabutan ko kayo, kayo ang hahahampasin ko!”
22. Tipsy - My boyfriend’s lola is a charismatic, her house filled with statues of saints. This is how my boyfriend is greeted by his lola each time he calls the province: “Hay nako, p*tang-inang apo ko, praise the lord at tumawag ka! T*ng-ina, praise the lord!”
23. Draco’s Biatch - My sister and I were sent to Israel for a youth assembly. Imagine, youngsters ages 15-25 singing a song in different languages, playing our guitars, bongos & tambourines, as we entered the walls of Jerusalem. Gave me goosebumps!
24. Skinny Dipper - My boss is a Chinoy and has 2 god icons in their altar: a Santo Niño & a golden Buddha. My boss’ son, who was then in grade school, told some of my officemates that when it’s exam week, he prays to the Santo Niño. Because apparently, when he prays to the Buddha, he flunks his exams

Kawawa Sa Wawa

It was Labor Day holiday, so for our 2nd project as a photo group, my 3 buddies: Lennie, Greg and Fritzie, decided to go somewhere nearer, somewhere more accessible. We decided to try Wawa Dam in Montalban. I asked for some assurance that this one didn’t entail any trekking. Images of me trudging up Taal’s dusty slopes kept painfully coming back up, like acid reflux. So we met up at Trinoma and we took one car to drive to Wawa. On our way there, we stumbled upon a construction site of some sort, with parked tractors and stuff. It was begging for a photo shoot. So no matter how ungainly the whole site was, complete with stripped hillsides and barren landscapes, we decided to shoot the worn down drama anyway.

Eventually, a manong got wary of us four, with our fancy cameras and colorful footwear, and asked us what we were doing. I hardly think we looked like journalists out to expose illegal mining activities or anything, but I guess stripped vistas are hardly sought after by photographers. So we placated manong camouflage shorts and told him we were just weekend warriors trying out our new gadgets. So off we continued shooting rocks and rusty metal…

Eventually, we tired of the whole tractor thing, and decided to move on to our real target: Wawa Dam. Plus, we were getting a little antsy because the skies were getting way too dark for comfort, and the foreboding heavens with matching looming heavy clouds moving fast in our direction were definitely a hint of what awaited us…

Finally, we got to our destination. It was a long trek up the mountainside, though much easier and less dustier than Taal. It wasn’t quite what we expected. There were so many people going up and down the slim rock paths going to and from the dam. Even the actual Wawa gorge was engorged with holiday frolickers. There were bamboo rafts complete with karaokes blaring Bon Jovi’s “Bed of Roses” at full blast. Bikers were also replete at the site, teetering ever so precariously on 2 wheels by the cliffs of the gorge.

I decided not to take pics on our way up, thinking that I’ll take pics on our way down. Smart (I had no idea what lay ahead). When we finally got to the dam, we had about 15 minutes to take pictures. It was quite a view.

Then what every photographer dreads happened: as we held our expensive camera gear, the rain fell. And I’m not talking trickle kind of drizzle, but a torrential downpour! There was no warning. Usually rain starts off as ambon, which gives you about 15-30 minutes to get shelter somewhere. But nooooooo, it just had to pour like someone upturned a celestial bucket over our heads. We ran as fast as we could to the nearest rock outcrop to shield us and our gear from the angry showers. We tried to wait as long as we could and tried to take pics in our little cubby holes, attempting to make the most out of a crappy situation.

(Thanks to Greg Galang for this pic!)

It looked like something out of “King Kong”

We tried to wait the rain out, but instead of weakening, the rain just kept getting stronger. We couldn’t see a single patch of blue in the far horizon, no promise at all of the rain stopping. Plus, we saw SWAT people with huge guns going up to the dam. Apparently some idiot fired a gun so the SWAT was there to respond. After a few minutes, we heard what sounded like gunfire, and with the rains pounding harder every minute, it was time to give it up and go home. It was scary actually, and when we came across the SWAT guys again later, I heard one of them say, “masyadong maraming madadamay…” . Yikes.

Now, the hard part. How to get back to the car with all our newly-bought babies that cost an arm and a leg for us four. I wrapped my cameras in Ziploc bags, put it in my camera bag, and the camera bag in a trash bag. Then, we had no choice but to walk back slowly down the mountainside in a full-scale downpour. We were drenched to our undies! Greg and Lennie were freaking out when Fritzie and I admitted that we’ve never bathed in the rain - EVER. Not even as kids.

We looked like mga basang sisiw:

Check out my cleavage!!!

(Again, thanks Greg!)

Lennie’s grandparents lived nearby and were so nice and gracious to take us in for a change of clothes and merienda to warm us up. I was shivering by the time we got there. Good thing I brought a complete change of clothes. I wouldn’t want to freak out my new friends by going commando. Lennie’s lola said despite all this, we were lucky. Apparently, there’s a belief that if you bathe in the first rain of May, it protects you from disease for the rest of the year! So I guess being May 1, that was the first rainshower of May. Woo-hoo, we were blessed by…Mother May?!?

After we dried off and changed clothes, we needed to reward ourselves, so we went back to Trinoma and had a sumptuous dinner at Cyma. I had a delicious serving of stuffed bell peppers. Here’s a picture Greg took of me with my dinner. The distortion is because of the Ultra Wide Angle lens, okay? I’m not a conehead in real life.

So I guess it wasn’t so bad. We took okay pictures, we had fun being together, plus I bathed in my first ever rainshower, which also happened to be the first May rainshower, thereby protecting us from getting sick for a whole year. Not bad, not bad at all…

The Best And The Rest 32

If anyone knew the secret to finding true love, he or she would be the richest person on the planet.  Obviously, there is no foolproof plan.  It’s really still up in the air most of the time.  But we can try and pin it down as much as we want.  There’s no harm in trying…

March 14, 2008 → The Top Ten Tips On Finding True Love

1. Kulit Nia/Mads - “Love is not blind. It sees, but it doesn’t mind.”
2. No name - Try tearing your anterior cruciate ligament on your knee and go to the emergency room. That’s where I met my one true love.
3. Frenchboy - If you’re lookin for love, don’t do it in a bar. Trust me, the only type of guy you’ll find there, is my kind.  And you wouldn’t want that!
4. No name - From “Capt. Corelli’s Mandolin”: “Love is what’s left when all the lust and passion is gone.”
5. Loipogi - “Walang lalaking bakla sa babaeng nakatihaya!”
6. Bongoloid - From A Danny De Vito movie: “Assumption is the mother of all f*ck-ups.”
7. MNEMONIC - “Love is not finding someone to go to bed with, but finding someone you want to wake up with in the morning.”
8. Pointlessmike - Sa kuwarto nalang magkaka-alaman kung true love yan!
9. Jedi Mstr - It’s true love if he lets you be in charge of the remote control.
10. Espeks - Naghintay ka na rin lang, maghintay ka pa.
11. Dongster - Go to Quezon Ave. corner Timog and pay for some true love.
12. Loipogi - Kung hindi ukol, hindi bubukol. At pag bumukol…may baby ka after nine months.
13. KRISEL JUNE - Sabi nga ng bestfriend ko, “Magpaganda ka at magpakasaya, lalapit din yang true love na yan.”
14. Powerful Alice - Mag-novena kay St. Jude.
15. KiD BuKid - You’ve found your true love if she tells you, “Ako pa nga ang dapat magbayad sa ‘yo eh.”
16. Darielle Girl - Stand in front of a full length mirror at midnight, during a Friday the 13th, with a candle in one hand, and chant, “Salamin, salamin, ipakita ang para sa akin!”
17. Louise - Stop over-analyzing things.
18. Coachdanny - Fate could bring you together, but it’s both your choice if you want to stay for the long haul.
19. JP - When you graduate from “wanting to be with her”, to “cannot live without her”.
20. Chammy - Drop the paranoia. Stop bugging yourself by asking questions like, “Is she the one?” or “Will she hurt me?”. It just kills the romance.
21. Kites - Allow yourself to be surprised by the Universe.
22. Kikhai - You know you found true love if you keep falling in love over and over with the same person.
23. Marianne - True love also means letting go of the person you love, no matter how painful, if it’s for the best.
24. No name - Loosen up a bit and don’t be afraid to get hurt, because remember, love is a gamble.
25. Espeks - Look for someone you can have conversations with until you both grow old.
26. Loipogi - True love knows no size. Maliit nga, pero umiikot namang parang elysee - winner pa rin!
27. Chicago - When you still long for your ex, even after spending the rest of your life with your wife.
28. Morenang Kaligatan - Accept the fact that no matter how hot and smart you may be, that really cute guy will never notice you, if he prefers other cute guys.

Happy Mutha’s Day!

HAPPY MUTHA’S DAY!!!

I’m speechless, so here are 10 nice quotes about mothers, cribbed from quotegarden.com :

1. Some mothers are kissing mothers and some are scolding mothers, but it is love just the same, and most mothers kiss and scold together. ~Pearl S. Buck
2. A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother. ~Author Unknown
3. The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness. ~Honoré de Balzac
4. An ounce of mother is worth a pound of clergy. ~Spanish Proverb
5. If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands? ~Milton Berle
6. Motherhood has a very humanizing effect. Everything gets reduced to essentials. ~Meryl Streep
7. My mom is literally a part of me. You can’t say that about many people except relatives, and organ donors. ~Carrie Latet
8. Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother. ~Oprah Winfrey
9. A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. ~Irish Proverb
10. The only mothers it is safe to forget on Mother’s Day are the good ones. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic’s Notebook, 1960

And speaking of Mother’s Day, this celebration is extra special to me because of another reason outside of mothers.   Our barkada just spent the weekend together in our little place in Batangas.  In the car yesterday, we suddenly remembered that our barkada’s anniversary falls on Mother’s Day, and we just realized that we’re also together on the same day, and we subsequently calculated that it’s our barkada’s 5th anniversary together!  We never really celebrated our barkada’s anniversary before, in fact we never brought it up until now.  It was just poignant because we’ve been through so much together, we’ve grown in numbers because of new friends and plus ones (significant others), but we’re still spending weekends together.  We’ve been though big fights, small fights, migrations, unrequited loves, new relationships, break-ups, travels, falling outs, babies, pets, weddings, deaths and funerals, injuries, surgeries, financial problems, new cars, new apartments, new houses, exes coming back, drunken crying fits, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.  We’ve been through so much and we depend on each other so much that the mere 5 years feels more like we were childhood friends.  I just find it poetic that Mother’s Day 2003, gave birth to a hopefully lifelong barkada.

The Best And The Rest 31

Okay, it’s THAT kind of Top Ten again. Obviously, our regulars are invigorated and their creativities are instantly piqued when the topic has an extra serving of sleaze. What can you say about people who are at their shining best when being naughty? You just gotta love ‘em!

March 13, 2008 → The Top Ten Things To Say When You’re Caught Doing Something Nasty

1. LOipogi - “O, anong tinitingin-tingin mo diyan? Hindi mo ba nakikita? GALIT ako. GALIT na GALIT ako! Kung ayaw mong ibuhos ko sa ‘yo itong galit ko, get out!”
2. Carebear/MM/Aubrey Smile/Speedy/Maverick/Johnny Boy/Mama Ria/Jong-Su - “At least hindi ako nagdu-drugs!”
3. Moxie - True story: my 7-year-old brother saw my ex fondling his crotch. He asked my ex, “Hoy, ano yang ginagawa mo diyan? Bakit lumaki yan?” My ex answered, “Wala…inaantay ko lang ang ate mo…”
4. No name - “Hon, naubos kasi yung lotion kaya gel nalang…”
5. Basti/Tuna Belly - “Inaamoy ko lang yung bibingka kung panis na!”
6. Trisha - “Tinuturuan lang niya akong mag-drive, kaya ko hawak yung kambyo niya…”
7. Jack Cool - “Kinagat kasi ng langgam…kaya kinamot ko…eh ang sarap…”
8. Jedi Mstr - “Sorry…napasubo lang ako…”
9. Mr. Perk - “Mare, pinupunan ko lang ang mga pagkukulang mo kay pare.”
10. Roni - “Ma, hinihimas ko lang yung balahibo ng pusa niya!”
11. Ryanjigs - “Pinapalabas ko lang po yung langgam…pumasok eh!”
12. YnaKi - “Tinataktak ko lang po yung bulalo niya!”
13. Dongster/Migui - “Tinikman ko lang naman yung “pancit” ni yaya, kasi sabi ni daddy masarap daw!”
14. Dru - “Tutal, nandyan ka na rin lang, pick up that soap na and let’s get this over with.”
15. Dongster - “ma…sowtwowt akow kyaw sinubow kwow…”
16. Loipogi - “Pinapasalat lang niya yung peklat niya!”
17. SPY Shadow - “Hon, umiinit siya eh, kaya ko lang pinasok yung ‘thermometer’ sa kanya!”
18. Espeks - “Diba sabi nung kanta, you gotta lick it, before you kick it?”
19. Dubin of Pasay - My friend told his mom when he got caught doing “self-love”: “Pagod ako.”
20. Altis - “Sabi kasi ng doctor I need more protein in my diet.”
21. Joltino - “But there’s no school anymore! I can stay ‘up’ all night!”
22. LOipogi - “Mare, it’s not what you think! Naglalaro lang kami ni pare ng pulis-pulis! Tututukan niya ako, tapos tututukan ko siya, tapos sabay kaming magpapaputok.”
23. Joeshred - “Ma, I’m just checking kung ano ang mas madulas: olive oil, butter or margarine.”
24. Tuna Belly - “Sabi kasi sa instructions: Shake well before using!”

Patikim Ng Pinya

I’ve lost more or less 5-8 pounds and lowered my cholesterol to normal levels, by avoiding all types of meat, and subsisting on a steady diet of lots of fish, tons of vegetables, and truckloads of fruits.   One of my  miracle wonder fruits, that grew ever so reliable as my staple fruit, is the trusty pineapple.  Almost all my mornings have been powered by this juicy ball of vitamins, minerals and antioxidants, which is also high in fibre and delicious to boot.  I would hoard this certain brand of pineapple that I buy in groceries, which are already peeled and sliced and packed in bite-size tidbits.  Then my love affair with this fruit came to an abrupt end, care of a third party that put a wedge in between — Delamar.  Apparently, Delle has also been munching away on pineapples as well, until one day, when she noticed white little flowery growths on one particular batch that she wasn’t able to consume right away.  She brought my attention to it, asked me if my pineapples also had them, and when I checked…HORRORS…they did!!!  I was petrified.  I’m not being O.A., it’s just that I’ve read many articles on how so many people have gotten cancer by eating moldy food.  And since we noticed that these polyps grew on pineapple chunks that have been left uneaten for a while, they might be a certain type of molds or fungus that could be potent carcinogens.  And I must’ve been ingesting these “flowers” for months now.  How ironic, to get cancer by eating fruits that should’ve been protecting you from the disease in the first place!   And given the recent cancer scare in our family, I felt so betrayed by my fruit du jour.  But then here’s the thing, those white anemone-like growths, seem to only grow in the holes in the fruit where the “eyes” were taken out.  So we were thinking that maybe they’re not molds, but that they’re like buds or something, that pineapples sprout out, when they’re about to germinate or multiply or whatever.  Like onions or garlic or coconuts that sprout buds or leaves when you leave them alone for a long time.  So here’s my plea: before I break-up for good with the pineapple, can anyone please tell me what the hell these white flowers are?  Maybe you know the answer, or maybe you know a botanist or a fruitologist, or someone who works for those pineapple juice companies who could identify what they are, and whether they’re safe to eat or not?  I tried my best to take as clear a shot of it as I could.  But since I don’t have macro lens yet, here’s the best I could come up with:

If you notice, there’s a smaller one in the other hole as well. Here’s a closer look:

They’re scary little buggers, huh?  They’re like aliens in our food and this is how they colonize us, by entering our systems via pineapples, then body-snatching us when the time comes.  Check your own pineapples, especially the ones that have been sitting in the ref for some time, and I guarantee you’ll see them too!   Please, please, please, ask around, anyone who might know, for our collective peace of mind.

If I may digress a bit…but still on the topic of food…I haven’t been lucky with the stuff that I’ve been putting in my mouth lately.  Just the other day, I was eating nilagang whatever dead animal, and as I was eating only the vegetables, I was mystified to feel a certain something that was kinda crunchy, kinda chewy, kinda gamey in my mouth.  The more I tried to feel it with my tongue, the more panic whispered that what I was chewing on wasn’t anywhere near a vegetable.  Inasmuch as I didn’t want to confirm my worst fears, my curiosity wouldn’t allow me not to know what it was.  Very much like when you accidentally touch a mysterious liquid, no matter how gross the outcome, you just have to smell it, right?  Same here.  So I fished it out of my mouth with my fork, and there it sat…comfortably between the tines…a big, fat, dead, hairy spider, curled up in a ball of legs.  I searched the net the whole day to find something that looked like it, and here’s the closest I could find — this is a dead ringer for the spider I was chewing on, even the way it was curled up:

Gross.  I still retch every time I remember the consistency it had in my mouth.  It must’ve been hiding between the cabbage leaves or something.  Either that or our yaya has a bone to pick with me.

But back to the pineapple, ask around, okay?

The Best And The Rest 30

Fantasies usually stay inside our heads.  And they hide from view for a very good reason.  Some are harmless — like winning the lotto, or ending up with a celebrity, but some are nothing short of incendiary.  Those are the ones we were looking for that day.  And I think we found them…

March 11, 2008 → The Top Ten Secret Fantasies

1. No name - My first love didn’t become my boyfriend. Now we’re both happily married to different people and with kids. Sometimes, I can’t help thinking, what if our spouses died and we both ended up together?
2. TReiz - I would tie a nurse up and tickle her till she passes out, then play board games with her after she wakes up.
3. Myckle Mouse - When I was young I wanted to be Manilyn Reynes so I can sing “Mr. Disco” and “Sayang na Sayang” while my sister died of envy.
4. Maximo - That my tongue is so long that I can lick my forehead. For sure, girls will never forget me.
5. Cherry - Me and my friend Sandy are both married. But I sometimes fantasize about having a one night stand with her.
6. Cutiepie - I want to know how it feels to kiss a married guy.
7. Frenchboy - “Sleeping” with my girlfriend and her hot sister in one bed…if u know what I mean.
8. Slimpywickedinstilettos - To give my guy a type of “job” while he’s driving along NLEX at midnight.
9. Curt Smith - (I hope my wife hears this) To go “brokeback” with my beloved honeybutt.
10. Loipogi - My fantasy? That whenever I lie, my “pet snake” would grow by a centimeter.
11. Honeylove - To get paid spending someone else’s money.
12. Mulangot - How it would feel to wear high heels.
13. Qlaivie - I’d rather have my best friend be gay with another man, than be straight with another girl.
14. Joeshred - To double team my crush with my clone.
15. Tani - To be the wife of the gay son of a rich Chinese business man.
16. Gray - To be locked up in a mall overnight and to have access to all the stores.
17. Kobe Kong - To experience multiple “meaningful overnight relationships”.
18. SPY Shadow - To breathe like a fish and swim in an ocean that tastes like chocolate.
19. Joeshred/Jedi Master - To become a panty liner.
20. Maximo - My secret fantasy is to have the powers of both Lastikman & Iron Man - yun bang puwede kang magpahaba, pero parang bakal pa din ang tigas.

Where In The World…

Allow me to indulge in an experiment. When I installed Sitemeter in my blog, I was tickled pink by the application which showed me where in the world my last 100 viewers came from. Of course I’m limited to the last 100 views, so anything outside of that, I don’t get to see anymore. Nevertheless, it was so interesting to find out that so many people from outside the Philippines get to visit the blog. I was pleasantly surprised that outside of the usual Pinoy habitats like the U.S. and Canada, Australia and New Zealand, the Middle East (Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, Dubai, Bahrain), and Asia (Japan, Korea, Malaysia, Hong Kong, Indonesia, Singapore, Brunei, Myanmar, China, Taiwan, Thailand, Laos and Vietnam), there were Filipinos from the far corners of the world who found their way to the site.

Quickly, I’ve seen views from: Bulgaria, Spain, Cayman Islands, Greece, Oman, Azerbaijan, Italy, British Indian Territory, Turkey, South Africa, Mexico, Nepal, Hungary, Denmark, Iran, Romania, Switzerland, Brazil, Portugal, Czech Republic, Sierra Leone, Chile, Sri Lanka, India, Pakistan, Puerto Rico, France, England, Ireland, Russia, Poland, the Netherlands, Slovakia, Slovenia, Bermuda, Germany, and Norway.

So, back to the experiment, if you’re reading this blog somewhere in the world outside of the Philippines, whether the country you’re in is in the above list or not, could you just send me a shout out in the comments of this post? Just tell me who you are (you can use a code name if you want) and tell me where in the world you are! It would just be so interesting to know you better, the people who are so far away from home. Wala lang, I just thought it would be nice to have a little global community going on here in this blog.

According to the website www.alexa.com, a site that measures and ranks the websites according to the traffic they get, 83% of my views come from the Philippines. So it would be nice to also get in touch with the 17% of you out there in the other parts of the world. By the way, they ranked chicogarcia.wordpress.com as # 2,815 among the top sites in the Philippines (naks!).

So don’t forget, let me feel you! In Tagalog, magparamdam kayo!

The Best And The Rest 29

Sometimes we reserve the worst things to say to the very people we love.  It’s ironic, but true.  Besides, it’s the people we love the most who have the power to hurt us the most, so who says the reverse isn’t true?  It may not seem like it, but these statements are actually directed toward loved ones.

March 10, 2008 → The Top Ten Things You Shouldn’t Say To Someone You Love

1. Humdinger/Iluvdelamar - “I’m leaving you kasi ang liit ng birdie-bird mo!”
2. KiaPrideChicken - When I was 7-years-old, I sat on my mom’s lap and told her that I wanted to become a nurse. My mom replied, “Anak, di puwede kasi bobo ka.” When she realized what she said, she tried to explain further, but made it worse: “Kasi kambal ka, kaya yung utak niyo, tig-kalahati lang…”
3. Bleep - “Yes, you do look fat in them jeans.”
4. Winston Lynch - A fiery conversation between a couple - Wife: “Lahat na lang ng desisyon na gawin mo, mali!” Husbnd: “Tama ka, kaya nga ikaw ang pinakasalan ko eh!”
5. Gorgeous Bitch - “Stop acting like my mother! She already did a great job of running my life!”
6. Tani “Mas mahal ka namin ng papa mo kesa sa ate mo.” (I was the ate…)
7. No name - “Kung ang gusto mo ay laging nasusunod ang lahat ng gusto ng nanay mo, dapat ang pinakasalan mo ay katulong!”
8. Mr. Perk - “Sorry ma, but we have to put you in a home for the aged.”
9. Espeks - “Niligawan lang naman kita dahil sabi ng bestfriend mo, sasagutin niya yung barkada ko pag naging tyo.”
10. Stan - “Honey, before we kiss…do you want some gum?”
11. Cheyenne - “Hep, hep, hep. . . bayad mo?”
12. Cha - To my dad: “Kailan mo balak kumuha ng trabaho?”
13. SPY Shadow - “Just leave the driving to me, okay?”
14. No name - My partner’s explanation why she hasn’t been calling me: “I’m tired of being gay.”
15. Heleina - I once told an ex, ”You are my favorite regret.”
16. Vi - “I shouldn’t have married you out of boredom.”
17. Loipogi - “Ang mahalaga, sa iyo pa rin ako umuuwi!”
18. Coachdanny - “Kelan ulit birthday mo?”
19. Your Highness - “My mom was right…you’re not the right one for me.”
20. Father Marcus - “If you want to do everything the Chinese way, bakit hindi na lang kayo magsibalikan sa China!”
21. Hazelnut - “Sabi ko na sa ‘yo eh, matatalo ka!”
22. Curt Smith - “You can have everything, just give me my freedom.”
23. Espeks - “Let me raise my own child, ma. You were never a good mother, so what makes you think you’ll be a good lola?”

Taal Crater (P. 2)

Sorry for the long break, it was such a busy week, with nightmare treks to Montalban and a return to yoga, both of which I will post about in the near future.

But back to Taal, when we finally got to the peak, the whole out-of-breath, dusty-as-espasol, spent-like-a-10-cent-hooker experience was all worth it.   Seeing that  slumbering caldera, staring right back at us like a single giant emerald eye, was overwhelming and humbling.  But after the initial reverie on the wonders of nature, my musings were immediately shattered by the throngs of people at the view deck.  We were instantly barraged with offers of either buko juice or softdrinks, both 50 pesos each for locals and 1 dollar for foreigners (parang lugi tayo dun, with the low exchange rate…)

It was like a congregation of nations up there.  I saw British, Americans, Koreans, Japanese, Indian, people from the middle east, and Filipinos from different regions.  And of course, everyone, us included, wanted pictures with the superstar crater.

Even people on their own took photos of themselves

A view from the top: My buddies Greg, Lennie, and Fritzie

So just when I thought that the view deck was it, which was getting too crowded for my taste with all the tourists scrambling for places to pose in, our trusty guide “pssst”-ed us and asked if we wanted to go further out into the crater lip.  He said it was away from the madding crowd, but that we would be walking on rocks and volcanic soil, and not the paved floors of the view deck.  Being the eager beavers that we were, we went ahead and followed Eric, our guide.  Even on the way up, the view was already picture wothy.

We got to a point in the middle where we had the clearest shot of the crater.

By that time, the sun was going down a bit, and the colors of the crater waters where turning bright green at some parts, and dark green at others.  It looked like a witch’s cauldron, with an eerie green potion bubbling inside.  Our guide explained that if we arrived earlier, we could actually horseback down to the lake inside the crater and swim!  Supposedly, the high sulfur content of the lake water is excellent for people with skin disorders.  And true enough, we saw  what looked like little dots of people down by the lake.  Being so far down, you could hardly make them out.  Eric also said that you could only swim in a certain area.  Most of the lake is way too hot for humans to swim in.  You can actually be boiled alive.  We were so envious.  We could imagine what sort of photos we could take from down there.  But then we saw the end of the trail, and we were happy.  It’s a photo shoot waiting to happen!

The red hue of the rock, looked wonderful against the green water and the blue sky.  From where we were standing , we could see steam rising from vents in the rock.  It was so cool, in a creepy kind of way, that we were standing on the edge of the crater of what our geologist buddy Greg explained as the most active volcano in the Philippines.  But eventually the sun was getting too hot, it was beating down on us without impunity, our skins roasting without the protection of sunblock (tsk, tsk, tsk…), so it was time to go back down.

On the way down, with all our adrenalin spent, everyone decided to make the manongs kabayo happy and we all rode our way back down.  It wasn’t as dusty and crowded as it was on the way up, but it was torture on my “eggs”.  I didn’t know whether to put both on either side of the saddle, or put one on each side.  Either way it was painful.  The top of my head could feel Giancarlo’s hooves hitting the rocks, the vibrations via my gonads.   The “eggs” started out hard-boiled, but by the time we got back to the town, they were scrambled.

We even caught the tail end of a championship basketball game back in town

We bid goodbye to our horses, boarded the boat back to Taal Yacht Club, and like the camera freaks that we were, took last minute pictures of anything and everything until the sun went down and the lights went out.

So we took well-deserved and well-needed showers, dusted off our cameras, packed our stuff, then drove back to Manila.  We took a short dinner stop at Rose & Grace at Sta. Rosa, and once I got home, I was asleep even before my back hit my bed. Even in my dreams, I saw visions of me, riding on top of Giancarlo, conquering the slopes of Taal, like the cowboy that I truly am…

(Photo courtesy of Lennie Reyes. Thanks a bunch, Lennie!)

Next stop: Montalban!