The Best And The Rest 213

I really love stupid answers to game show questions, from Battle of the Brains to that Jay Leno portion where contestants answer simple questions.  It’s just hilarious sometimes that even the simplest questions bring forth the funniest answers!

March 20, 2009 → The Top Ten Stupid Answers To Game Show Questions – Sasha Purse

1. Blasphemous – Q: “Ano sa Tagalog ang teeth?” A: “Utong!”
2. Carlo of Taguig – Q: “Kung ang light ay ilaw, ano naman ang lightning?” A: “Umiilaw!”
3. Pancho – Q: “Kung vegetarian ang tawag sa kumakain ng gulay, ano ang tawag sa kumakain ng tao? A: “Humanitarian?”
4. Joan C – Q: “Sina Michael at Raphael ay mga…” A: “Ninja?”
5. Potpot/Simplyme – Q: “Ano ang karaniwang kasunod ng kidlat?” A: “Sunog!”
6. Arcueid – Q: “Magbigay ng sikat na Willie.” A: “Willie da pooh!”
7. Raimon – Q: “Ang mga Hindu ay galing sa aling bansa?” A: “Hindunesia?”
8. Bonnjeru – Q: “Anong hayop si King Kong?” A: “Pagong!”
9. MaudeEvans – Q: “Magbigay ng mabahong pagkain.” A: “Tae!”
10. Supertanker – Q: “Saang bansa matatagpuan ang mga Canadians?” A: “Canadia!”
11. RC & Cess – Q: “Kumpletuhin – Little Red…” A: “Ribbon!”
12. Jose de Vengenge – Q: “Ano ang tinatanggal sa itlog bago ito kainin?” A: “Buhok?”
13. Arcueid – Q: “Magbigay ng pagkain na dumidikit sa ngipin.” A: “Tinga!”
14. LilMaui – Q: “Anong oras kadalasang pinapatay ang TV?” A: “Pag balita?”
15. Katherine – Q: “Ano ang tawag mo sa anak ng taong grasa?” A: “Baby oil?”
16. RC & Cess – Q: “Saan karaniwang ginagawa ang mga sweets na ginagamit sa halu-halo?” A: “Sweetserland?”
17. RC & Cess – Q: “Sinong higanteng G ang tinalo ni David?” A: “Godzilla?”
18. LilRedShiningNips – Q: “Ano ang mas malaki, itlog ng ibon o sanggol ng tao?” A: “Itlog ng tao!”
19. Jose de Vengenge – Q: “Anong S ang tawag sa duktor nag nago-opera?” A: “Sadista?”
20. Ned – Q: “Blank is the best policy.” A: “Ice tea?”
21. Boc – Q: “Anong parte ng itlog ang masarap?” A: “Yung tangkay?”
22. Espeks – Q: “Saan binaril si Jose Rizal?” A: “Sa likod!”
23. No Angel – Q: “Fill in the blanks – Beauty is in the eye of the ____.” A: “Tiger?”
24. No name – Q: “Ano ang kinakain ng monkey-eating eagle?” A: “Saging!”
25. No name – Q: “Kung ang suka ay vinegar, ano naman ang Inggles ng toyo?” A: “Baliw!”
26. Kayee – Q: “Anong tawag mo sa kapatid ng nanay mo?” A: “Kamag-anak!”
27. Kid Bukid – Q: “Saan nakukuha ang sakit na AIDS?” A: “Sa motel?”
28. His Cuteness – Q: “Kung ang H2O ay water, ano naman ang CO2?” A: “Cold water!”
29. Katuray – Q: “Sinong cartoon charcater ang sumisigaw ng yabba dabba doo?” A: “Si scooby dooby doo?”
30. Loipogi – Q: “Heto na si kaka, bubuka-bukaka.” A: “Operadang bakla?”
31. litzkrieg – Q: “Ilan ang bituin sa American flag?” A: “Madami!”
32. Adakrab 14 – Q: “Ano ang tawag mo sa taong isa lang ang mata?” A: “Abnormal!”

My PBB Experience!

I was a complete wreck.  I was a hyperventilation away from a nervous breakdown.  Lord knows we’ve had so many TV appearances in the past (we even had a TV show of our own back in the day), but I swear, hands down, this was the TV guesting I was MOST nervous about, EVER!  I guess the stress stemmed from the fact that I was such a big fan of the series.  I have to admit that I never really watched Pinoy Big Brother in the past, except maybe a few episodes when Rico Robles went in, but to actually follow the series, never.  But somehow this season really got me hooked.  I have foregone many a good night’s sleep just to stay up until after 11pm just to catch the show, even if I have to wake up at 4:30 the next morning.

So imagine my blood rush when they actually invited me to be part of the show!  Dream. Come. True.  Even if it was just a few minutes in the house, I was beyond excited.  I kept myself busy the whole day Sunday, even hosting a children’s party in the morning and blogging in the afternoon, just to settle my frazzled nerves.  It didn’t work.  I completely skipped dinner because I didn’t want to look fat (hahaha!).  I mean, with the extra 10 pounds that the camera adds, I’d be 20 pounds overweight!  Anyway, when time came, and after what seemed like 12 outfit changes, I started driving towards ABS-CBN, when I suddenly realized, as I approached Timog, that I left my camera at home!  I wanted some sort of remembrance, and I forget my camera!  I made a quick u-turn and headed back home, with about 20 minutes before the call time, and I drove like a demon on wheels back to my house, got the camera, and whizzed back, past the cars on the northbound lane of EDSA, and was at the ABS-CBN parking lot with 5 minutes to spare.

When I got to the front of the house, there was a group of teens taking pictures in front of the gate.  I texted my contact, but he wasn’t answering.  I started to panic.  What if it was all a prank?  What if it was a nasty prank to humiliate me after I tell all my friends that I’m guesting on my favorite show?  The horror of the thought!  I started breaking into a cold sweat and my breathing became laboured.  Then, I started worrying less about the humiliation, and more about the sudden flood of disappointment that I wasn’t seeing the inside of the house after all!  But just as I was about to start bawling on the sidewalk like a little child, out came Dong of ABS-CBN to fetch me, who was by then a complete mess.

We walked into the house but not the house we see on TV, but the rest of an actually huge complex, housing offices, studios, and even the other house for their other reality show, the Dream Academy?  Then they brought me into the room, and there was Maui Taylor, whom I’ve known since our diving days, and soon after Ma’am Peppin from UST, Dimples Romana and then Direk Wenn Deramas.  After about an hour, we were suddenly fitted with our own lapel mics (yes, exactly like the ones the housemates use), and ushered through some dark corridors, when I suddenly realized, we were right outside the housemates’ room!  From where we were, we could see their bedroom, complete with their clothes strewn about, and it was so surreal!  I was just imagining how cool it would have been if they were actually in the room when we passed!  Then they opened the door, and I froze.  It was the confession room (*faint*).

It was much more colorful and bigger than I expected.  The colors on our TV at least, were much more muted than the splash of colors that greeted us.  Almost immediately, Big Brother started talking to us, and instructing us on who should sit where.  It was just the most surreal experience, hearing kuya address me by name.  To be honest, I had goosebumps the first time he called me.  It was like half goosebumps-half scared.  Kuya’s voice rang with godlike authority, yet infused with unearthly warmth.  Then, someone mentioned how sayang it was that we didn’t have a camera.  Then I realized I forget that I was holding one the whole time!  So I told everyone that I had a camera with me.  Prodded by my co-panelists, we asked kuya if we could take one picture.  Since kuya was busy with the debate, we got no answer.  So I set up the camera to take one shot.  It turned out perfect!  Then, within seconds, someone went into the room to get the camera.  Busted!

Then we were instructed to just talk about anything that pops into our heads while watching the Big Debate.  We didn’t really know which part of our many conversations they would actually use, so we just kept on blabbing.  Then, after talking and talking and talking, the debate ended.  Later we found out that we were introduced, but we had no idea because they didn’t show us how the program was going.  People have told me I looked nervous – it was because I was.  I just didn’t know if I understood what we were supposed to do.  After the debate was over, kuya started to address us again.  I really tend to jump up everytime he speaks.  I find it weird when I see the housemates do it, but now I know it could be pretty disconcerting when you suddenly hear the out-of-this-realm voice of Big Brother.  Then we were asked what we thought of the debate, and after we went one by one, we were asked the question that I was dreading: “Who did we think should win?”  Watch tonight as to how the five of us answered, I wouldn’t want to pre-empt it.  But let me just say that of the final five, take Johan out and the remaining four have always been my top four picks from the very first episode I caught.  So I’d be happy if any of the four makes it as the Big Winner.  Nothing against Johan, but the other four really are my favorites.  Unfortunately though, kuya made each of us choose only one.  After that, kuya asked us if we enjoyed the experience and then thanked us for dropping by.  I almost didn’t want to leave.

On our way out, we passed by the same corridors with the one-way mirrors looking into the house and when I glanced inside the windows…THE HOUSEMATES WERE THERE.  I remember when I was a kid, the first time I saw Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck in Disneyland Anaheim, I cried!  I couldn’t believe I was meeting my childhood heroes.  It kind of brought me back to that.  It was way weird watching them in their room, as they spoke with Korina Sanchez.  It almost felt illegal watching them.  I felt like a pervert peeping tom, looking into some stranger’s house!  Everyone got so excited that we made so much noise.  Suddenly, we saw all the housemates turn their heads, and pointed to the windows where we were.  Apparently, they could hear us.  Paul Jake and Tibo even went to the windows and tried to listen to what we were saying!  They all look much bigger in person, maybe because I’m used to seeing them small on TV.  I swear, that was just sooo cool.

I hardly remember what happened after that.  Everything was a blur.  Maybe it was the adrenaline rush fading, but the next thing I remember, I was zooming along EDSA southbound, heading back home.  Surreal was the word for it.  I had a big smile when I got home.  To whoever suggested guesting me on PBB: THANK YOU!  The whole experience brought out the kid in me again.  Being in the industry tends to jade oneself after one too many brushes with celebs.  It’s nice to know I can experience wonderment in its simplest form.  Thanks, kuya!

(They told us that they’re airing our full episode tonight so please watch if you’re inclined!)

The Best And The Rest 212

Okay I’m so nervous about going inside Big Brother’s house.  I’m a breakdown short of losing it!  So let me post something to calm my nerves. I should be taking a nap or something, but I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep.  I’m so stressed!  I’ve been on television before, but I’ve never been THIS nervous about an appearance!  I just don’t want to bungle up while I’m there.  Plus, I’m such a fan of the show that The nervousness and the excitement are both getting my insides in a knot!  This is exactly how I felt when I was to visit Disneyland for the first time when I was a kid.  I had diarrhea the day before because I was so excited.  Anyway, sorry, I’m a bundle of nerves.  That’s why I need to do something or I’ll go crazy…

March 19, 2009 → The Top Ten Signs That It’s Either Too Big Or Too Small – Loi Pogi

1. Blitzkrieg – It’s too big if they can’t help staring at it with mouth open when they finally see it.
2. Ex-Mortis – It’s too big if you don’t wear condoms because you can’t find one that fits.
3. Pancakes – It’s too small if your boobs are a pirate’s dream (a sunken chest).
4. Mojacko – It’s too big if while riding a packed MRT, the lady in front of you turns around and tells you: “Wag niyo po akong holdapin!”
5. Red – During my cousin’s circumcision, the nurse told him: “Hihintayin kita paglaki mo, kasi mukhang mapapasaya mo koh!!!”
6. RC & Cess – If you go to a motel and your date goes: “This is not what I expected when you said ’short time’.”
7. Teri – You’re too big if all your dates waddle like ducks the morning after.
8. Maomao – My tita’s boobs are so big, that everytime she buys a bra, she repairs it herself to fit her.
9. Mary – My boobs are too big because everytime I eat, rice collects on my cleavage.
10. Quasimodork – If your girlfriend tells you: “Pasalamat ka mahaba ang dila mo…”
11. Uglybelle – If you can hang your towel “there” while you do other things.
12. No name – If girls always ask you: “Galit na ba yan?”
13. No name – If your nickname is LION KING (puro ulo tapos covered with hair).
14. Frederique – If girls always say: “Siguro malaki lang talaga kamay ko…”
15. Kemusabe – If you can carry a dozen donuts without using your hands.
16. Kid Bukid – If you were peeing and a lola accidentally sees “it”, and she goes: “Ay kabayo! (pause) Ay…kabayo nga..!!!”
17. Weiss – If you go for a checkup and your doctor takes out his tweezers and a magnifying glass.
18. Gooey Kablooey – When girls always ask you: “Are you sure you’re Asian?”
19. Potato – I’m 33 years old, but when I go to the lingerie section, slaesladies always ask: “Kiddie bra?”
20. Maxx – I have a small *toot*. One time while having a massage, when I turned over, the masseuse said: “Ay ang cute!”
21. Walrus – You’re too big if your nickname is “tripod”.
22. Ehem – You never sit on the toilet bowl kasi sumasawsaw na sa tubig.
23. Jedi Mstr – If the masseuse refuses payment and says with a wink: “It was my fleyshoor!”
24. SC – Man: “Paki check po itong ari ko.” Doc: (sees that it’s the size of a triple A battery) “Anong problema, masyadong maliit?” Man: “Hello? Di niyo ba nakikita…namamaga!”
25. Rodel – You’re too small if your a member of the kiss-bunot gang. Pag nag-kiss, nabubunot.

PBB Guesting!

Just a couple of hours ago, I received a text message asking if I was free this Sunday night and I was willing to guest on Pinoy Big Brother Double Up!  I thought it was a prank, given it’s no secret how much I love the series.  Then I received a call from someone from the show asking the same thing.  Apparently, word got to them that I was such a big fan.  Are you serious?  Do I want to guest on the show that’s responsible for my ongoing sleep deprivation?  I wake up before 5am everyday, and yet I make it a point not to miss any episode as much as humanly possible, no matter how late at night it airs.  Unfortunately, I don’t think I’ll get to meet the housemates, but if I understood it right, I do get to see the confession room.  Good grief, I’m just so excited!  I feel so lucky to be invited to a show I watch all the time!  It’s like guesting on Survivor, or American Idol, or The Amazing Race!  It’s like asking a kid if he wanted to visit a candy store!

Oh well, I don’t really know what exactly we’re supposed to do, but whatever it is, I’m really looking forward to it.  If ever I’d be allowed to take pictures, I’ll make sure to post them.  I hope I get to take a photo of me in the confession room.  So if all goes as planned, you’ll be seeing me sa bahay ni Kuya! Happy!

Jerry The Pug

This made my day. I was having a truly crappy day until I watched this.

The Best And The Rest 211

They say for gay men, bisexuality is a halfway house for admitting you’re gay.  Unlike with women whose sexualities are more fluid by nature.  Some gay men hide their sexualities very well, some not very.

March 17, 2009 → The Top Ten Things To Say If An Obviously Gay Guy Says: “Girl, I’m Straight!”

1. Bobidax – “Ah…at ang email mo ay gay@indenial.com?”
2. Bobidax – “Straight-in mong mukha mo!”
3. Evilpupil – “Keribells lang yan, beki!”
4. Loipogi – “Oo nga, straight ka…straight to hell!”
5. Automatic Allan/Boknoi – “Derecho? Baka derecho sa gay bar!”
6. Ken – “Straight-acting nga, hindi ka papasa…STRAIGHT pa?!?”
7. SC – “Alam ba ‘to ng boyfriend mo?”
8. Dru – “If that’s the case then maybe you should stop saying stuff like: ‘Parurusahan kita sa ngalan ng buwan!’”
9. Babyburn – “Eh bakit ka nagle-leave tuwing araw ng Miss Universe?”
10. Ken – “Talaga? May straight palang bottom?”
11. Malditamanika – “Sige nga, kung straight ka, i-kiss mo ko sa lips.”
12. Moncher – “Yeah, straight and stiff when a hunk walks by…”
13. SC – “Ang tanong: mamayang gabi kaya, straight ka pa din?”
14. Dominic of Pasig/Feb15 – “Straight? O straight guy ang hanap?”
15. TwistedSaint – “Mommy, si Daddy o!”
16. University Lad – “Bongga, best actress!”
17. TReiz – “Sige friend, susuportahan kita…”
18. Pharmacoid – “Sakalin kita ng scarf mo eh!”
19. Bernadette – “Weh?”
20. RC & Cess – “Trulalu at walang eklavu?”
21. Hopeless Jec/Khitz_joma – “You go, girl!”
22. SC – “Eh di magpakulot ka!”
23. Dru – “Pag di ka tumigil, tatawag ako sa ABS-CBN at ire-report kita sa Bantay Bakla!”

Apple Whore

Apple whore.  There’s no better term to describe me.  I’m your typical gadget sucker that Apple markets to.  I gobble every single doohickey Apple releases in the market.  I was once allergic to any gadget, anything electronic, because I was a techno-idiot and was absolutely afraid of even touching one of those things.  But once I created this blog and got into photography, and started experiencing just how much you can do with those doggone gadgets, I was hooked.

So just last month, January, I ended up splurging on Apple gadgets without really meaning to.  First I really needed to replace my beat-up 30G iPod Video.  So I decided to invest in the mega-memory of the iPod Classic 160G:

Then, when we went to Hong Kong just a couple of weeks ago, I came across the iPod Touch.  All my friends have been raving about it, convincing me to get the iPod Touch instead of the iPod classic, but I argued that I really needed a huge storage for all my music.  The 32G of the iPod Touch just wouldn’t hack it.  But when I saw the iPod Touch and its new 64G incarnation, and at less the price of my friends’ 32G version, I just couldn’t resist.  So I ended up with my 2nd Apple gadget for the month:

And then came the big one.  I was in an Apple store when I saw the latest MacBook: it’s a white unibody, has most of the stats of the MacBook Pro but minus the aluminum body, at less than 30k the price.  How could I resist?  My laptop is still my first Mac gadget, the ancient iBook G4.  Believe it or not, I even bought that old thing for 20k more than what I bought the new MacBook for.  I’m totally in love with it.  Here’s my latest baby:

So imagine my distress when a couple of weeks ago, we did news on the announcement of Apple to release their latest worm on a hook, the iPad:

Great.  After splurging hard-earned moolah on 3 Apple gadgets, they’ll release a brand new one, one I probably couldn’t resist, by next month.  It’s got 3 versions, the cheapest one at $499.  Not bad.  Lord help me resist.  The only thing that’s stopping me is that my gadget gurus always tell me never to get the first generation of ANY gadget.  So maybe I’ll wait for a couple of versions to go by before I make the purchase.  Sigh…

Off To Sentosa!

For the 3rd time this month, we’re off again to another Asian country: this time, Singapore!  It’s been a hectic yet amazing January for us, Having gone to Bangkok, Hong Kong, and now Singapore.   What a great way to start the year.  I’ve never been to 3 trips outside of the country all in the same month. What a whirlwind!  Monster Radio RX 93.1 held a promo for a Sentosa trip and we’ve been sent to accompany the winners to Sentosa, Singapore!  There’s been a glitch with the plane tickets, so instead of going there Friday to Sunday, it’s been shortened to Saturday to Sunday instead.  Although it’s just an overnight trip, we’re still so stoked to finally see Sentosa.  We’ve heard such glowing reviews from people who’ve been there, so I’d like to see it for myself.  I promise to take lots of pictures, although I’m swamped with a huge backlog of photos I have yet to post, but I’ll get on it once I get back. I hope we get to meet the rushers in Singapore, although I really don’t have any idea how we’ll pull it off since we still don’t know exactly how our itinerary will go.  But will try to tweet about our skeds as much as technologically possible.

So, see you when we get back!

The Best And The Rest 210

When you love someone, this is the wish, to be a good boyfriend/girlfriend to them.  But sometimes, even if love is there, things just fall into place as you expect.  And when the one person who should be on your side the most, isn’t, then trouble ensues.

March 16, 2009 → The Top Ten Signs That You’re Not A Good Boyfriend/Girlfriend – Specialist

1. No name – If she consistently call you Bryan, instead of Ryan.
2. Fuster – If he didn’t show up on your wedding day.
3. Neo M.D. – When my father died, my girlfriend was one of the last to find out. She even found out from another friend.
4. Isprikititay – After 5 years of waiting for him to propose, I finally got tired and proposed to him. I bought him a ring and asked him if he will marry me. He said: “Nakakakalalaki ka naman!” and left with a huff.
5. Humangus Pepet – My boyfriend of 2 years never pays for anything. I pay for food, drinks, transpo, and motel.
6. Awsom – Everytime I get into a fight with my girlfriend, I go out with another girl. And when she calls I even let her hear that I’m with someone else.
7. Hellgirl – If he constantly competes with your family as to who you love more.
8. Ginger 0 If you’re sending an entry to the Top Ten instead of us talking about it.
9. No name – If after all the hard work you put into working out to achieve your hot body, he still doesn’t get “excited”.
10. Smiles-a-lot – If you tell people you don’t enjoy your girlfriend because she has inverted nipples.
11. Sasha Purse/Maomao – If she demands that you surrender to her all your passwords in all your email and social networking accounts.
12. Gracia – He demands to see what your wearing by webcam before you go out of the house. Same when you get home, to check if you got home on time.
13. Ube Wan Kinuba – If you’ve been together for 2 years but his status on his FB is still “single”.
14. Aicko – I told all my friends that the real reason I don’t kiss my boyfriend is because his saliva is too sticky.
15. Maomao – I’m used to being an indianera. One time my boyfriend waited for 6 hours before finding out that I changed my mind and was therefore not coming.
16. Lainey – When your girlfriend asks you out, you say: “I’ll check my sked.” And that translates to: “I’ll check my other girlfriend’s sked.”
17. Jan Kulog – If you ask him where the ipod you gave him is, the one you saved up for so long justso you can buy him one, he says: “Ay, na-misplace ko.”
18. No name – I skipped my girlfriend’s debut even if I was her escort because I had early classes the next day.
19. Psylocke – If his standard line to you is: “I love you, pero hindi tayo ha?”
20. No name – When we fight I throw him out of the condo, even if he owns it.
21. Jen/Hakuna Matata – When you tell him: “I love you.” He answers: “Pasa-load muna!”
22. Max – If you only say you love her when you want sex.
23. Specialist – If you give her gifts that were given to you by your ex.
24. Jedi Mstr – If your private videos end up online or in Quiapo.
25. RC & Cess – If he won’t text you unless you give him load.
26. No name – My ex-boyfriend told all his friends that he was breaking up with me, way before he told me.
27. Maximo – Pag yung iyo lagi mong pinapasubo sa kanya, pero yung kanya ni ayaw mo man lang amuyin.

Las Vegas Models

Thanks to my friend Alvi for re-posting this on Facebook!  The video speaks for itself!