Given that I just had my dog Siam neutered yesterday (he’s fine by the way), I suddenly remembered the recent “study” that supposedly shows the average penis size per country. The “research” shows that the countries with the largest penises are, from the largest: Congo (7.1 inches), Ecuador (6.9 inches), Ghana (6.7 inches), Colombia (6.7 inches) and Venezuela (6.7 inches). On the other side of the spectrum, are the countries with the tiniest penises, with North and South Korea taking home smallest honors with an average penis size of (3.9 inches). Also bringing up the rear are Cambodia, Thailand, India, and Burma. For the curious, The Philippines logged in a 4.2-inch average, while the Americans surprisingly came out a not-so-impressive 5.1-inch average. Of course it goes without saying that these measurements reflect the penises in their tumescent stage.
As far as races are concerned, the African and Latin American countries ended up as the largest, with the Asians coming in last, and the Europeans and North Americans in the middle.
I put quotation marks on the words “study” and “research” because the provenance of the dubious study has been traced to a company selling penis extenders. So this I guess casts a large shadow of doubt on how kosher this global penis chart is. And the study shows that some of the data are “self-reported”, meaning, the respondents were not actually measured, but that they only claimed that their wieners were actually that long. This is a bit disturbing given that most men tend to exaggerate just how well-endowed they are. They should’ve asked the wives or girlfriends instead for a more accurate measurement. That said, I find it funny that even with some exaggerated figures, some countries still fell short. So does that mean that some of the reported 3.9-inch averages are actually even smaller? Egad!