75 comments on “How To Be Alone

    • I agree with you! You don’t have to be with someone else to be secure. And being able to do that when “everyone” around you says otherwise, really takes a lot of courage and a certain sense of security!

    • those people are so happy and secure with themselves that they don’t need other people to validate them.

  1. my feelings exactly…
    thanks for uttering these words… i think everyone of us gets to feel this way, until we begin to be harangued by society- its rules and its norms… then we become insecure… and so we change

    it’s ok to be alone… it maybe different but it’s not something to be ashamed of…

    thanks chico

  2. “It’s okay to be alone. I don’t want to be alone, but I need to be okay with being alone.”

    Very well said. You really have a way with words, Chico.🙂

    • true. masaya lang naman ang may kasama kung gusto mo yung kasama mo. pag di mo rin gusto ang kasama mo, mabuti pa ang mag-isa.

      • OO nga, agree ako dyan sa “pag di mo rin gusto ang kasama mo, mabuti pa ang mag-isa”, Chico!
        And I think it would be unfair to both of you! Just let the other person go, baka makahanap pa sya ng iba, na masaya rin kung sya ang kasama di ba?

  3. naiyak ako…

    i love being alone… but i don’t wanna be seen by people that i’m alone ’cause they’ll think i’m lonely…

    i have yet to conquer this insecurity.

    i needed these words. thanks🙂

  4. I also love being alone. Like you, i also have imaginary friends. People discriminated my relationship with myself. they call me a loser loner. but i dont mind. I enjoy having few friends and i enjoy being with myself.

    • you only need a handful of true friends and you’re good. better off with a tight circle than busloads of fair weather friends.

  5. omg! its like you picked my brain and wrote all my sentiments Chico! My thoughts and feelings exactly. And I do agree with you and everyone else… being alone is not something to be ashamed of. Society shouldn’t burden people with all this ideas of “you complete me” when “I am complete by myself”. Sheeezzz!!! pa sali naman sa group hug! nag outing mga imaginary friends ko e.

  6. hello chico,

    i can relate to you well. i am very introverted to the point that most people i meet think i am a serious weirdo. well, sort of. like you, i do have imaginary worlds. i have been “living torridly” with these ideal people and ideal selves since my grade school days. some actually are counterpart personas of real people in my waking life.

    i also have this continuing daydream that my life is actually a syndicated drama/movie series – i, having won a couple of best actor awards from my “exceptional performance” when life was too much tough; and my immediate friends, who also have won some best supporting actor/actress awards alongside myself. i can even picture some critical consensus for my series in rottentomatoes, say, from roeper and ebert.

    being alone has never been an issue to me. i am most refreshed when i am alone. cold weather and places like baguio really, really depress me big time. i hate noises. i’d rather be alone than be with a bunch of blabbermouths. i also hate parties and reunions wherein people judge me by my civil and financial status.

    but, i do not deem myself a loser. while the norms of the world have been redefining human nature and relationships over and over again, i remain optimistic that being introverted is an artifice of emotional and spiritual strength.

  7. I understand this completely!I love being alone and that dosent make me lonely.yes i have my group of friends but I have no problem with doing things alone.Most of the time I would choose to do things by myself.Its like Im more free that way.Ive had my share of relationships and yes sometimes I do miss it,but its not something I fret about.the people around me keeps on telling me that i need a partner,that Im of “age” to get married,that they would introduce me to this and that.
    Having an imaginary world is not crazy,I think we all have our own versions of crazy anyway.as long as we know the difference between real and not.

    • some of the worst reasons to get married is only because you’re “of age” or “running out of time”.

  8. Beautifully written, luv this🙂
    what’s great about alone time, eh di you can do M — you know, the Master’s Degree hahahaa if you get what that means!
    pagdating sa ending, kaloka, “Nakanampucha talaga!” hahahaa
    Love comes when you let it grow🙂 not the “shortcomings,” mga loko-loko, sabagay talagang tumutubo yan hahahaaa kainis talaga!

  9. Hello to all the people who likes being alone!
    I’m one of you!

    I’m 27 and I only have 2 friends.
    Yes, 2 friends.
    When I was in college, I have 10 friends.
    But most of them are so annoying.
    At that time, I wanna leave my clique but “society’s norms” prevents me from doing so.
    I’m afraid to be labeled a loner and a loser.
    So I stick with them until I graduated in 2006.
    In July of that year, I decided I wanna be on my own.
    I’ve removed their numbers in my cell and I completely ignored all of their txt msgs.
    It’s the most liberating thing that I ever did!
    It felt amazing!
    And I DON’T REGRET it!
    (But I kept two of my best friends. And until now, they are my only confidants.)

    At work, there are people whom I call “friends” but the truth is, I really don’t give a damn about them.
    Sometimes, you just got to pretend to survive.

    • whatever works for oneself should be decided on by the only person qualified to make the decision: you.

  10. Love your post, Chico! If only everyone can read this and understand that some people (like me) are really OK being alone. Minsan kasi parang pakiramdam ko naha-harass ako ng ibang tao everytime they stare at me and see that I am just by myself — kahit tingin lamang ang ginagawa nila, hehe!

  11. What brought this up? Nobody is truly all alone.

    One time at work, I was kidding a colleague, about her leaving me all alone to work late. Because she was about to go home. She said, “Guy (not his real name) is still here, at least you won’t be alone.” Well, ‘Guy’ is someone who is not a bad person…however, after a few casual conversations with him, I came to a conclusion that he is not…”like-minded”. Sort to speak.

    When I heard what she said “….at least you won’t be alone.” For me, that was so pathetic! No offense to those who may be in that kind of situation. This is my own preference. I know my worth, I know what I can offer. And I am not about to settle for anything less than what or who I want. I don’t dread being alone…in most cases, it’s a gift…a blessing.

    Just as a great blessing for those who are not alone, spending their lives with people they want to spend it with.

    • Thumbs up with you too on the following:
      “I know my worth, I know what I can offer. And I am not about to settle for anything less than what or who I want.” &
      “Just as a great blessing for those who are not alone, spending their lives with people they want to spend it with.”- This was sort of saying we’re not bitter about our not being able to find ( at the moment🙂 the one we wanted to spend our life with but on the other hand we can also be happy for those people who have found theirs.

      • i agree, sometimes its hard to be happy for some who got what you’ve always wanted but never had.

  12. I superb like this!!

    This somehow sum up all my sentiments.. that no one understands..(inlcuding myself, until i read this!)
    And being alone or simply not having “someone” doesn’t makes you less of a person.

  13. grabe!!!!wow i can’t believe it that im actually doing it,going to the loserville without even
    knowing it.how is that possible???hehehe…seriously i didn’t realized that being alone makes
    you a loser its just that sometimes you just love being with yourself and no one to nag you about what you should or shouldn’t do..but you’re so right being alone takes courage..and also there’s one thing im sure of being alone doesn’t make me miserable its just that i haven’t found someone who could make me more happier..😉

  14. I was like you when I was younger, I can stay in my room for 3 straight days, going out of my room just to eat. I am an only child…so it’s easy for me to be alone(not lonely)…and I liked it. Now that I’m married, alone time doesn’t appeal to me that much anymore. I always look forward to bonding times w/ my wife and our baby. When I go out alone(malling, etc), I always look forward to going home and sharing my adventure w/ them. I guess that’s the power of true love ^_^

    pasama sa group hug!🙂

  15. before i was scared of growing old alone… now i understand and appreciate life and happiness does not require of having a relationship.. friends and family keeps me strong.. happiness comes from within… that’s true..

  16. among your entries, this is the one i can relate to the most! i so love to be alone. in whatever group i’m in, i tend to be the fly on the wall who just observe everything that’s going on. even among the rushers (i don’t consider myself silent coz i’m pasulpot-sulpot every so often), i am happily content getting to know everybody plus you and delle by staying on the sideline. after listening to every podcast during my alone times and to the live show whenever i can, i have learned a lot, you can quiz me and i’ll surely ace it! hehehe.

    sometimes though i feel guilty for wanting to be alone because i am happily married and have 2 kids. i guess, being allowed to be autistic at times, makes me a happier wife and mom.

    • wow nice to know that. i love the idea of someone who’s not alone, who’s fine at being alone. nice.

  17. i like being alone as well, and most times, when i go out with friends, i only go out with one friend at a time. i like shopping alone. i guess my son inherited it, that he likes playing alone. hehe

  18. I reposted the video because I think it’s beautiful and should be shared with others. I feel a sense of comfort in being with myself and knowing that there can be happiness in silence, I wish more people have the opportunity to fine time to be alone and realize that its not a loser thing to do🙂

  19. can’t help but reply. this post really is perfect for my predicament. i don’t know if what i did was wrong or right. i kinda ditched a friend. but i’m not really sure. i wasn’t able to accompany her at a wedding of her friend (whom i don’t know personally) because i got sick. so i didn’t text her on the day of the wedding knowing she understood/considered my situation. but then, she got mad at me because she was still expecting me to be there given that it’s impossible to get well overnight.

    i can’t blame her because i was like that before with her. that i’m always game. but this time is different since i’m back to the normal world where her morning is my evening and vice versa. i posted the video in fb right away for her to notice it. to tell her and everybody that i love being alone (again) because,

    it’s during my alone time that i get to hear my thoughts, organize them and even think about nonsense things.
    it’s during my alone time that i get to look at the flowers or even say hi to the bright blue sky.
    it’s during my alone time that i feel very secured curled up on the bed with the radio on the background humming me to sleep.
    it’s during my alone time that everything is vivid because i just have myself to argue with.

    i must say that i’m contented with whom i am with now. but i’m hoping one day, she’d slow down and think about home, where i’m sulking about life. that one day, i’d bump into her soul and we get to smell the coffee’s aroma together again.

    (gf, i’m still here but i’m just choosing intimate conversations over loud music and cursing beckies. sorry.) *sigh*

  20. Looks like we had the same childhood. Apir!

    Being the youngest and huge age gap between my older sisters, I’d rather be alone in my room reading books, wait, not just books but encyclopedias (yup, i was a geek too) or count Volkswagen beetle cars (pendong!) pass by our street rather than be with my sisters and talk about their college lives, Don Johnson and Miami Vice, Menudo, Falcon Crest… lam mo na, usapang 80s. hahaha. I remind myself of Calvin (and Hobbes) who can instantly zoom off to the distant planet Zook, fire laser blasters, and save the Earth from aliens only to be disrupted by my teacher for recitation or mom calling me to eat. Then came highschool, X-Men became my best friends. LOL! Kasama ka din ba dun? Di ba Scrambler? hahaha.

    But i agree with you, not once did I feel a pathetic loner loser. Everyone just have their own version of “Me Time”. O ano, group hug na?

    • seriously! that’s why i love calvin and hobbes. i really see myself in calvin! and i really did have plenty of hobbeses in my life.

  21. Uy, si Chico, nag re-reply na! Wow. Hehe.

    Seriously, there’s something to be said about solitude. It makes you reflect things about everything about you and around you. Pero wag naman sobra. Even monks have to live and interact with each other, albeit in a solitary place. Kaya nga good for the soul ang meditation.

    Imaginary friends? The verdict is still out on that one. Hee. =)

  22. I used to say, naiinggit ako sa mga tao na nagsasabing “gusto ko munang mapag-isa”,
    because as they beg to be alone, I on the other hand beg NOT TO BE ALONE.

    but after reading this post and watching this vid,

    I realized that it really is human nature to be not contented with what we have–> yung walang kasama, gusto ng may kasama…pero yung mga may kasama, ayaw naman minsan ng may kasama.

    Thanks Chico for posting this!
    it really made my day! =)

    p.s. akala ko ako lang yung naglalagay ng unan sa leeg to protect myself from vampires LOL!

    • amen! damned if you do, damned if you don’t. some people are miserable whether they’re alone or not. and yes, pillows are effective against vampires, because proof? i’ve never been bitten.

  23. I’m gonna say this in Tagalog because it just makes better sense that way: Kapag ba ang lahat ng masayang mag-isa ay magsasama-sama, magiging masaya pa kaya sila? In a lot of ways, it isn’t the “aloneness” part that bothers us… what bothers us is that the world is telling us we don’t measure up to what they think defines happiness… eh bahala sila… basta ako masayang mag-isa!

    • i don’t think people who enjoy being alone necessarily will stop being happy the moment they’re not alone. its just nice if you can be good alone and good with people around.

  24. Very, very insightful, Chico. I agree 100% with everything that you said here (yes, including kinamay lang, ayos na. Hahaha.) I’m going to share this with my all my friends, single or otherwise.

  25. i miss being alone too. nakakasakal din minsan pag may kasama ka. you can’t be yourself when other people are around.

    makahanap nga ng “me” time this week. tamang-tama, holiday sa QC on thursday. ^_^

  26. Akala ko true to life story ko in short maalaala mo kaya ng buhay ko haha just kidding. Super naka relate ako. Biruin mo yun marami pala tayo mga gusto mag-isa, iba nga naman kasi pag mag-isa ka less worry about the things around you, mas nagagawa mo yung gusto mo without worry to be criticized. Yeah we are happy when we are alone, pero for me isa parin tayong jigsaw puzzle, we need to find the piece that will complete us, by finding friends and a partner in life.

    thanks Chico

    (marami pala tayong malilikot ang isip)(not in a pervert way ha) hehe😀

  27. Hi Chico.

    I’m such a late-bloomer (late mag-reply, late mag-react, late magbasa o mag-blog). Been going back to this feeling for sometime now that I can’t put words to it. Thank you for placing and choosing the right words for me Ü

    I’d like to express my gratitude to you dear Chico, for sharing your thoughts and for posting the video. Timely (for me). I’ll play that over and over to remind me that I’m still normal, that it’s ok to be alone and I’ll be fine. Wish ko I’ll be a strong, secure, confident, financially stable and cool person like you and Del ^_^

    Continue blogging. ‘Wag ka sana mapapagod o mauubusan ng ikukwento😉

    Take care.

  28. LOL Chico, I just stumbled upon your blog yesterday, and boy, I read your posts backwards, like how I would fill my notebooks with doodles! it was so addictive, I can’t stop. Why do you have to be so witty, eh?

    Anyways, this post made me laugh silently,Cause I grew up playing with my imaginary friends as well.I can make a world of my own out of chessboard pieces and domino’s.I’d swim in a sea where the creatures were my pillows.And I can do that for an entire day, and mind you-I was having FUN!

    BTW, been listening to you guys since my elementary days.🙂

    Stay Happy man!oh,and to Delle too!

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