The Top Ten Foreigner Quotes

Originally, we wanted quotes of foreigners in the Philippines, because if you quote an American in the U.S., then he’s not a foreigner, you are.  But eventually it became more of quotes from non-Filipinos in their dealings with Filipinos, whether in the Philippines or abroad.  Hehehe…magulo ba? Some are even quotes from Pinoys talking to foreigners.  But just for uniformity’s sake, let’s just stick to “Foreigner Quotes”, okay?

July 9, 2009 → The Top Ten Foreigner Quotes

1. Darryl/Jabberwocky – An American classmate who was learning Tagalog told the taxi driver, “Manong, pwede kant*t?” (what he wanted to say was for the driver to drop him off at the corner)
2. Gracia – We had a Taiwanese-American missionary patient who paid a 500 peso bill. Pointing at Ninoy, I asked him: “Do you know who this is?” He answered: “Kris’ dad.” (pero in fairness, nung naghubad ng polo, ang ganda ng abs!)
3. McMaki – An Australian officemate asked a Chinese officemate: “Is it true you have cows in China?”
4. LitoBen – When my brother was in Korea he ordered “brewed coffee.” The waiter said: “No broo coffee, onree brack.”
5. Blitzkrieg – An American missionary was making a speech on heaven and hell: “Pag keyow nemetey, et pumunta sa impiyernow, mereming demownyow na meleleki eng soongay. Perow, pag pumunta keyow sa lengit, mereming anghel na meleleki ang pekpek.”
6. Gracey – I was in Salcedo Market with my foreigner friend and when he was haggling with a tindera, he said: “Miss, puwede tumuwad?”
7. No name – Our Indian officemate once said: “My 2 most favorite things in the Philippines are puto and puta.”
8. DesertRose – When we were in Australia, an old lady asked us: “Where you from?” When we said the Philippines, she asked: “How’d you get here, by boat?”
9. Weiss – My Chinese friend invited us over for dinner. His mom, who was from China tried to talk in Tagalog. When serving dinner, she told us: “Walang hiya kayo, kain pa!”
10. No name – Grant Hill, NBA superstar, when he visited Manila last 1997 in a mall tour happily said: “Kumasta kayong lahat!”
11. Billie – Chatmate: “What nationality are you?” Me: “Filipino.” Chatmate: “Oh, I thought you were Asian.”
12. Jopak – 2 Filipinas in Hong Kong were on the MRT and were giggling about a Chinese-looking man. The 2 women kept saying “Mukhang kabayo!” When the train stopped in the next station, the man saw a friend board, and the friend said: “Uy pare, kumusta na?” The man answered: “Eto, mukha pa ring kabayo…”
13. Specialist – A foreigner rode a taxi and asked to be brought to “Baltamesa Blvd”.  The driver insisted there was no such street. The foreigner directed the driver street by street until they got to a street in Makati. And the foreigner went down on a corner that has a big sign saying: “BAWAL TUMAE SA BLVD”.
14. Lei – I have a Korean student who went to the bank to withdraw money.  She went up to the teller and said: “I want money!”
15. RC and Cess – A Pinoy new at the office told a French officemate that he needed to go to the toilet. The French guy said: “Oui, oui!” The Pinoy answered: “No, poopoo!”
16. Ania, Aron & Abyys – When we lived in Hong Kong, they would always say “Ng Goi”, which means “Thank You”.  The first time someone told our mom: “Ng Goi!” Our mom shouted: “Unggoy ka rin!”
17. Jill – My sister’s boss is American. One time he saw them eating galunggong. He said: “Why are you eating that? That’s not food, that’s bait!”
18. Jamie – When I worked in China my boss asked me why my hair was always wet everyday. I told him it was because I just took a bath and my hair didn’t get a chance to dry. He asked: “Why do you take a bath everyday?”
19. Keigh – The classic elevator scene happened to me and my American classmate. The elevator door opened, and the guy asked: “Bababa ba?” And I answered: “Bababa.” My American classmate asked: “What are you, sheep?”
20. Jerguin22 – I was a correspondent for Rutgers University and was doing research on urban planning in the slums of Manila with my American classmate. In Malabon, we interviewed a man who was  complaining about their squalid conditions. My classmate asked: “What do you do when you don’t have any money for food?” Struggling with English, the poor man replied: ”Sir, sometimes we just eat pussy.” (he meant they ate stray cats)