19 comments on “Church Annulment

  1. Hi Chico,

    Logic tells me that separation/annulment/divorce should be legalized in the Philippines. But my heart bleeds as i agree to it. I am from a “separated family” and I have seen and felt for myself the product and repercussions of a “broken family”. I will speak for both my parents when i say they did not try hard enough to fix and work on their relationship. That they both jumped the gun on the issues.That they put a permanent solution to a temporary problem. And we, the children, are the casualties of their war. it is my heart that speaks right now. You cannot deny the kids of these relationships the pain, the trauma. While saying this, i am confused as to where I lie on this issue. I guess in my logic, making it legal makes so much sense. But i am too confused when i involve what i feel for the family.

  2. I ABSOLUTELY AGREE with you. DIVORCE SHOULD BE LEGALIZED in the Philippines. I love how you empathize to your friend… I have not been married, super single but I somehow understand how painful it is to undergo that kind of pain and stress. I hope the lawmakers would finally, finally legalize divorce. Spain and Mexico are hardcore Catholic countries, why is divorce legal there?

    Oh by the way should I run for Senator I will make sure of an affordable divorce too! love love love — Cha

  3. i came to understand why so many married people come out with separation. Once you are in a relationship you will understand why’s and how’s ? . . . ;(

  4. Divorce should be legalized. I don’t see the point of being in a marriage when everyday, all you hope for is that your “better half” is nowhere near you. Staying in any kind of relationship just because you are supposed to is torture in itself. It is also hellish not just for the two person involved but also for their kids. Better to lead separate lives if this would mean a more harmonious relationship within the family.

  5. i am not a product of a broken family but just thinking about it…that my parents actually separated when we were growing up…i may not be the same person that i am right now…i just don’t know if i’m better or worse… the funny thing is….at this point in my life i somehow agree that divorce should be legalized here because…my friends need it and i think i do too…..but i’m confused all the way!

  6. 1. I agree that divorce should be legalized, more for the protection of women and children than any religious or moral considerations.
    2. There should be an enforceable (if not amicable) agreement with how parents should deal with their kids BEFORE they are granted their divorce (and if I were a judge, I’d make this the no. 1 requirement)
    3. Harmonious relationship within the family doesn’t necessarily follow separated parents.
    4. I am married, been in a relationship since college and I do know how it feels like to be wishing you were somewhere else other than being with your spouse… but I also know that there are and will be times that I would wish to be with my partner than anywhere else on earth… I do understand that not everyone has this kind of relationship, but it’s such a nonsensical loss if dissolution of marriage in whatever way, shape or form, is easily granted.
    5. I agree divorce doesn’t have to be expensive, it just has to be hard enough to make a couple think about things before proceeding with it.

  7. Chico, if you dont mind me asking, gano katagal inabot yung annulment proceedings nila. i know someone who is thinking about that since both of them have their separate ways and would want to legalize the thing with his present partner now. with so many people having their annulment, i think divorce should be legalize here, but let’s set several restrictions so it will not be the same like in other countries na mabilis magdecision..

  8. i hope it will not be legalized. I don’t agree with gg0515 that is for the protection of women and children. It is more for the protection of men/women na bigla na lang nagbabago ang isip.

  9. hi, Chico…

    I don’t believe in marriage… (that was before I met my current bf)
    Actually he has his own family… having an illicit relationship with him taught me of many things in life… including saving up a relationship. Before I used to make “tampo” whenever he talks about his family especially his wife… He loves his family so much(and their ties are thickly bonded) that, of course chooses them over me (i do understand why I’m just the second?, a third party…)

    Even how tough things are going on with their (him and his wife) relationship… they still have to save it for the kids… (though his wife doesn’t knew about me having relationship with her husband) kaya I think there is no valid reason for the wife to get separated with his husband… My bf is a very good, kind and merely all positive attitude he possess… wala akong masabi sa pagiging open-minded and mabait niya sa akin and sa family niya… sa madalas iniisip niya kapakanan ng iba kaysa para sa sarili niya.

    Kaya nga, I don’t want din na masira ang family nila. Saka lang ako ngayon naniniwala sa marriage. It is not merely the papers and the church wedding that keeps them bonded but the responsibility of being a good parents to their children…(ironic) but it will be too depressing for the kids if he would just decide na maging separated sila (kasi, ang nakita ng mga kids nila ay magandang samahan and bonding nila as a family) I don’t see any reason para sirain ko ang family nila.

    What I can promise is that I will stay for him to fill the love, attention and emptiness na di nagagawa ng wife niya. Let him be happy dahil deserve nya mabigyan ng nun’…

    I hope you did understand my point. Though it’s hard for me… since that is the reality… I can do nothing but accept it…

    (Please read my blog that is scheduled to be posted on Saturday)

    Petite yet Beautiful (read my emotions) at http://www.nizao.wordpress.com with the post title, “Cheating okay?”

      • in a full sense yes… i admit it naman eh… time will come every truth deserve to be prevailed…. pero as of now… maaaring hindi pa… kasi hindi alam ng family nya about it… Don’t worry this lessons Ive learned from him… mananantili sa akin iyon… And I’m learning to let him go na din… thanks… naging eye-opener din sa akin ‘yung topic kaninang umaga sa morning rush.. “things to say sa mga nag-iisip mag-cheat”… it does hurt…

        Thanks din sa’yo elvie…

  10. @Nizao
    You deserve a relationship worth telling out to the world and should not be kept in secret! Know in your heart that you are perfect right now and worthy of a fantabulous relationship.

  11. I have a friend who had to annull her marriage to her husband as he was physically abusing her. I think that is what gg0515 meant when she said for the protection of women and children. I understand the concept of divorce and annullment, and yes, having an escape clause means people don’t take the concept of marriage seriously. But then again, for people who really suffer, this is a necessity. I guess what I mean to say, is that I think divorce and annullment is a privilege and people are just abusing it, and not using it properly. Put it in in proper perspective, it should have been a good thing.

  12. I have a friend who had to have her marriage annulled as her husband was physically abusing her and would have abused their child if she had not left him. I think this is what gg0515 meant when she said “to protect women and children”. That aside, I think with divorce in the picture, people do always think that there is an escape clause when they get married. Take pre-nup contracts, for example. They get married already setting up the escape clause, with the thought at the back of their mind that if the marriage does not work out, they are protected by their pre-nup contracts.
    Anyway, I think divorce is a privilege and a lot of people are abusing this privilege and marriage, divorce, annullment, should never be taken lightly.
    I may sound idealistic, and simplistic to some, but this is my opinion, whether you agree or not. Enough said.

  13. I didn’t read any of the comments so sorry if I repeat any. Family Life is half of my course in school and this is one of the topics that we discussed in class. I believe that if one person chose to marry another, there must be good and strong reason to do so like love or something. The only way couples in the Philippines can get out of that is through annulment or legal separation. I view annulment as an insult to the vows the couple made to each other, the church and the court. Annulment takes away the importance of marriage because they say that there was no marriage in the first place. It’s not like nothing important happened in that marriage even if the couple did decide to end it at some point. It must have involved some form of love and commitment if they decided to get married. As for legal separation, it does not give you a second (legal) chance at love…and then you start living in ‘sin’ if you do get a lover after.

    They say that legalizing divorce will make people rash about their decisions to marry and decreases sanctity of marriage. I think pretending that something did not happen in the first place is worse and that depriving people of a second chance in life and love is just unfair.

  14. oh and in legal separation there has to be some kind of abuse (like physical/verbal harm or infidelity, etc) to be able to file it. I like the idea that people who want to separate mutually can do so with divorce. If they did have a good marriage and they just decided that there were bigger and better things outside of it or if things just weren’t working out, they can still keep the good memories because the past is apart of who we are.

  15. sorry for the double entry. I thought it had not pushed through and I had lost the entry.

  16. @ayagirl…

    it is just now I’m starting to tell the whole world about my relationship with him… I am so proud of him, though wrong ang relationship namin… even my parents and some of my friends don’t want him… i don’t care… what I care about is the lessons I’ve learned from him and the memories we are sharing together… i love him so much!
    Thanks ayagirl…

  17. I just got married to someone whose marriage was been annuled in the court. We are planning to get married in the church and both of us are thinking of taking the move in the process of church annulment. Can you please give me a hint on how to go about with it. If Church is true and God is REAL at least I can be in purgatory when I die since I’ve completed the seven sacraments. Hope you can help. Please pm me. It is mymaana@yahoo.com.ph. Thank you so much!

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