I must say, I usually hold my tongue. Most of the time. But sometimes, when the situation calls for it, I can unleash as well. I don’t usually gravitate towards mataray people, but surprisingly I have a lot of mataray friends. The usual pattern would be, I’d hate their guts, then I’d get to know them a little better, then sometimes, we even end up good friends. There’s a nice kind of maldita, the type that incorporates genuine humor, and then there’s the outright mean one – that type I stay away from.
May 11, 2010 → The Top Ten Taray Quotes – Sent in by: Astroboy
- Addie 17 – Back in college, I was walking along Mendiola when this manong came up to me out of nowhere and said: “Hi, beauty!” So I answered: “Hello, beast.”
- Diwata – During a wedding, an aunt asked me: “Kelan ka susunod?” I answered: “Tita naman, how would you feel kung magkita tayo sa burol and I asked you the same question?”
- Jen – “Hindi ko sinasabing maganda ako. Ang sinasabi ko lang pangit ka.”
- Mr. Perk – Girl to guy she doesn’t like: “Email me nalang at getlost@donttalktome.com”
- Forg – While studying a difficult lesson in school, a classmate told his groupmate: “I’m as confused as your sexuality!”
- RC and Cess – Sister ordered burger with no lettuce. Burger arrived with lettuce. When she got mad manager apologized and offered free side order. Sister: “Ang gusto lang, tanggalin ang lettuce, hindi yung bigyan niyo ko ng kung anu-ano!”
- Hakunamatata – Girl1: “Bakit ang sama mo makatingin?” Girl2: “Eh ikaw, bakit ang sama mo tignan?”
- Arvie – “Pag nakikita kita, parang gusto ko mag-sorry sa mga mata ko.”
- Glenskie – “Diba pag pangit ka dapat nice ka?”
- Boknoi – Wife: “Bili mo kong bagong bra!” Husband: “Wag ka na mag-bra, maliit naman boobs mo eh.” Wife: “Eh bakit ikaw, nagbi-brief?”
- Xuxalera – After waiting in line so long at the toilet, when I was next in line, a girl approached me and said: “Miss, puwede sumingit? Naiihi na ko eh.” I told her: “Eh ano ba sa palagay mo ang rason kung bakit kami lahat nakapila dito?”
- Andee/Maymay – When someone told me: “Ang ganda mo!” I answered: “Sana ikaw din…”
- No name – Annoying classmate: “Guys, guys, saan kayo pupunta?” Kami: “Papalayo sa yo.”
- Foxmodem – I was an intern 3 years ago in a charity hospital about to circumcise a boy. The mom of the boy bought an ampule of local anesthesia but forgot to buy a syringe. The nurse told her: “Mommy, anong gagawin ko dito sa lidocaine, ibubudbod ko sa tit* ng anak mo?”
- No name – When we gave coins to a kid beggar, he said: “Hello, ni value meal di ako makabili nito!”
- Cootchiemhie – Boy: “Para akong lalagnatin.” Girl: “Eh di parang uminom ka ng gamot. Malay mo, parang gagaling ka.”
- C. Vanilla Ben – Boy: “Masarap?” Girl: “Bumili ka, para malaman mo.”
- No name – Girl sees a guy peeing against the wall: “Yuck, ang liit ng tit*, ang daming bulb*l!” Guy: “Ano gusto mo, maliit ang bulb*l at madaming tit*?”
- Grace – When the cashier at the grocery said: “Miss, puwedeng kendi nalang ang sukli ko sa yo?” I told her: “Bakit, tsokolate ba ang binayad ko?”
- Andee – At a swimming pool. Officemate1: “I’m sure lulutang ka.” Officemate2: “Bakit, dahil payat ako?” Officemate1: “Hindi, dahil plastic ka.”
- Arvie – Sa isang turo-turo. Customer: “Miss, may langaw sa arroz caldo ko!” Tindera: “Sa halagang limang piso, anong ine-expect mo, manok?”
hahahaha mabenta lahat ng quotes ahh, ang fave ko yung #6.. hahahaha
wehh di nga sip sip , plastic hindi nman magandapiling mo wag kna epal d nman mganda
tama.. korny kaya.. hahaha
wow aah ..
hohohoh :))
weeeh di nga? san ang ka fave fave dyan?
korni mo nmn pla mgkaron ng favorite ..
galing…
yah . . it’s some what funny but the most that i like was the #19 and #21
hahahaha nkakatawa lhat ng qoutes, ang like ko yung#21….haha tlaga
anong nakakatawa sa number 6?
Personal Trainer: Sige na ma’am mag-sign na po kayo para bumalik yung dati nyong katawan.
Ate ko: Bakit? Close ba tayo?
isa ka pang korni ..
during the may 10 elections my tita who’s been in line for the past three hours is tired, hungry and really losing her patience because of the guy who manages the lines in her precinct. he was flirting with a pretty girl in line and asks her “Miss anong number mo?” and when the girl showed her number stub the manong goes: “Ay matagal ka pa, gusto mo mauna ka na dito?”. My tita upon hearing this told the manong: “Sige manong pasingitin mo siya nang dumugin ka ng maraming pagod at maiinit na ulong tao dito.”
Taray m0 namn teh..
Street vendor: Ma’am, bili na ho kayo ng sim card. 10 pesos lang!
Girl: Ayoko nga. [walks out]
nice! tapang!
taray nmannn///
jijijijijijijiji
Most of the entries are cute & funny:-)
During one outing with my officemates…
Boss: Huy wag ka mag-swimming sa malayo ha, malalim…
Friend: Oo nga ma’am e, baka lamunin ako ng dagat…
Me: Duh. Anu ka ba baka iluwa ka pa nga e.
Sa isang hallway sa office… Nakikipagkwentuhan ako sa isang friend..
Matabang Babae: Excuse me!!!! You’re blocking my way!!! (Pasigaw)
sagot ko…
Me: I think YOU are blocking your own way!!!
TARAY :))
taray ka rin hahahahahahahaha
HAHAHA
someone asked me, “anong gusto mong pasalubong?” i said, i want nothing but inner peace.. can you buy that?”
nice kuya,..love it. 🙂
nice =]
post more!..
Enemy: Feeling mo maganda ka?!!
Me: Aba,aba!! Kumpara sayo talagang oo!!
Enemy: (When she/he says something bad about you,e.g:panget,malandi)
Answer: At talagang sa pagmumukhang yan pa talaga nanggaling ang mga salitang yan no.?
Alam mo,walang ginawang panget ang Diyos eh.
Eh ikaw? Sure ka ba na DIYOS ang gumawa sayo??
Kung mapera ka, bakit di ka bumili ng bagong mukha maranasan mo man lang gumanda
haha nice ..mejo nka2 relate aq ah msbi nga sa kaaway q .
nice 1NE
Pingback: 2010 In Review For chicogarcia.wordpress.com « Strange Fruit
Pingback: 2010 in review « Strange Fruit
correction lang: this should read as –> May 11, “2009” → The Top Ten Taray Quotes – Sent in by: Astroboy
May 11, 2010 is “Interesting quotes from your mother”.
I love #11! Wagi!
xa kin # 1 panalo……..
kac nga # 1 hehehe.
super like! ^-^
love it 🙂
ahaha..nkk2wa..xD..ggndang banat..taray..parang aqu lng..whaha..:D
supeer like!!!=)
thanks for the laughter! in a very good mood thanks to this!
kanina sa tindahan…
tindera: anu hanap mo??
I answered: kapayapaan pagmamahal at pagkakaisa..meron po ba kau nun??
sunday morning pumunta ako sa laundry shop
melchi: miss pwede ko ba makuha to on sunday morning kailangan ko kasi (sabay pakita ng dirty clothes)
miss laundry: magpapalaba kayo sir?
melchi: hindi ibibigay ko sana sayo to tong mga damit ko mukhang kasya sa yo eh
miss laundry: si sir talaga mapagbiro
melchi: sir ka dyan, mam ako ok !!
…umaga ng naisipan kong bumili ng ice sa isang bahay n malapit sa amin… Seeing the ice for sale sign infront of their gate… Tumawag ako… Pabili nga? And then a lady replied ano yun? Sagot ko syempre ano pa ba ang bibilhin ko sa inyo eh ice for sale lang naman nakapaskil sa gate nyo
Korean: “I used to have an Indian girlfriend” (ngayon married na siya to a Filipina pero mahilig sya makipag-flirt sa mga babae sa office)
sa isip ko: Why didn’t you choose her? “You smell the same.”
nice…. LoL
me: Maybe you like Amanda (the one the Korean flirts with)
Korean: No, I’m already taken. I’m married. I’m sold out. How about you? Noone will buy you.
me: No, because no one can afford me
nice naman ng mag qoutes dito pambasag tlga hehhhhe
9 and 21!
dame ko tawa :)) fav ko ung # 11
(in a taray expression) ang masasabi ko lang “natatawa ako ” ha ha ha. the #3 entry was use by Sen. Mirriam Santiago in her speech in U.P. di kaya nabasa nya to….
CoooL, Lovely!! =)
You Smile, I Smile
You Laugh, I Laugh
You Die … hah, Mag-isa ka!! (Sarap-sarap mabuhay eh)
Duh!! >.<
super like ko lhat!
(high school m8s nag-aaway)
classmate 1: PANGET MO!!!!
classmate 2: KUNG PANGET AKO… ANO KAPA ? HALIMAW
LOLZ
nyc one 🙂
HAHAHA :))
ANG BOBO NYO SUPER MGA TARANDATO !
mas bobo ka! hahahahahahahahahahahah anonymouse?
kung bobo kmi anuh twag sau
pinakagusto ko un # 20. ^^ relate much!
nag paalam ako sa teacher ko na mag cr..
ako : maam class pass po ..
teacher : wala akong classpass anak ii
ako: nanay kita ?
girl1:ang hirap mging mganda no??
girl2:oo nga ehh
girl1: buti hinde mo nransan …:P
!! hahahaha like it “”)
#11 anq da best >!!! XD
Di ko kailangang MAKIPAGTALO para lang MAPATUNAYAN na MATATAG akong tao. Minsan kailangan ko rin MANAHIMIK di dahil TAKOT ako.Kundi dahil ang MATINONG tulad ko ay di dapat PUMATOL sa mga taong kaLEVEL ng “ASO!
BASAG.! XD
gusto q 2 kz kwork q asal aso tlga thoL ng th0L
galing,….TAMAH!!!…
gwapo ka na sana e.!
kaso nqa lanq ..
SAKSAKAN naman nq KAYABANGAN .!
bat ka nakikisali sa away ??
d ka naman dapat dun .!
kac anq yabang yabang mo .!
naqhahamon ka pa nq suntukan .!
e kunq suntukin ko kaya ang mata monq malaki .!
tapos feelinq qwapo ka pa .!
owl naman anq mata .!
Chico, may pinagsamahan tayo. (I have a picture to prove it), now, go to our prom and host with Delle!! Email me your reply to my taray statement! ;;)=))))
ok nice sya
He’s only a man. I can find another one kasi maganda ko!
WIKIPEDIA : skin su2lat ka lng ng word at ha2napan ko ng meaning …
GOOGLE : haha ! yn lng ba ? skin sulat ka ng word at magpa2lbas ako ng mrming sources ..
INTERNET : tumahmik nga kau … kung wla ako wla kaung silbi !! …
COMPUTER : huh ? ako dpt ngsabi nyan ehh .
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
ELECTRICITY : cge magsalita lng kau … mki2nig ako …
GIRL1: alam mo ang panget mo…
GIRL2: pasensya ka na ha…… di kasi ako ang salamin mo…..
bawasan ang kaartehan kung d naman sagad ang kagandahan,madaling sabhin na maganda ka mahirap hanapin kung saan banda.
Porke ba tinitigan ka mula ULO hanggang PAA, INSECURE na? Hindi ba pwedeng kinukumpara lang yung MUKHA mo sa PAA mo?
taray
“bago mo sabihing SUPLADA ako..
.
.
.bakit di mo muna ako tanungin kung CLOSE TAYO! :D”
tamahhh nga nman
Why don’t you slip into something nice like…oh i don’t know…unconsciousness???
ang cornii mo !!
ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Reblogged this on makebelievereality and commented:
AHAHAHAHAHA
Belief creates the actual fact.
“time is ..
too slow for those who wait ,
too swift for those who fear,
too long for those who grieve,
too short for those who rejoice,
.
.
.
..
.
but for those who love ..
time is Enternity..”:))<3
BOOOoooMMM !!
TAMAH !! ^^
Kung gusto mong maging APOY para masunog kaming mga PLASTiC, pwes gusto rin naming mga PLASTiC na maging tubig para mapatay ka namin at para wala ng rason para maging PLASTiC kami >;D heLlyEah !
Sa isang palengke:
tindera: ma’am anung gusto nyu?
me:ang gusto ko lang tUmahimik ka!
Habang papuntang terminal ng tricycle..
Tricycle driver: (dumaan, walang sakay) Miss! Miss! Tricycle o.
Me: Bakit? Binebenta mo??
i want all of the contents on this site keep on posting such funny pambasag quotes for those person who dont know how to do it…..^^.v.. (sana nga dumami pa)
ANG BAHO MO
sa isang kantin may magmemeryenda na magbabarkaga tindera: oorder po ba kayu? costumer: ay hindi tatambay lng kmi kasi may hnihintay kmi; xiempre oorder kya nga may kantin pra omorder eh ng pakain” nkakaloka ka?
Ako magisa walking at the canteen ng may biglang sumabay sakin
Boy: Miss may kasama ka ba?
Ako:Depende….
Boy: Depende kung(sabay malaasong ngiti)
Ako:Depende kung marunong ka magbilang….
wow so funny your site en nice to read some of quotes ang taray 😀
taray:)