The Top Ten Signs Your Household Help Is Gay

We’ve always had yayas, because my mom refused to hire male househelps, mainly because she didn’t feel safe with strange men around.  But my sister did have a lesbian yaya (or at least she really looked like a boy).  Everyone would ask if “it” was a boy or a girl, because people just couldn’t figure it out.

April 30, 2009 → The Top Ten Signs That Your Household Help Is Gay

1. No name – If, as your driver is parking, he asks you with a wink: “Ser, paano niyo gusto kong ipasok, PAHARAP o PATALIKOD?”
2. RC & Cess – If someone cuts your car, and your macho driver floors the gas, catches up to the car, rolls down his window, then shouts: “GAGA!!!”
3. Mr. Perk – You ask Dodong if he’s still single and he answers: “Dalaga pa po.”
4. No name – Kung ayaw niya si “Winnie da pu…” kasi mas gusto niya si “Winnie da ti…”.
5. Abernathy – If you tease your driver to your yaya and your driver raises his eyebrow and goes: “What…EVER!”
6. Loipogi – When Dudung goes: “Ma’am, mas bagay sa inyo ang green shawl to complement your emerald green mascara & sexy liquid leggings with giant hoop earrings.”
7. Loipogi – When Dudung goes: “Ate, puwede mag day-off? May EB kami ng mga friendship ko sa Malate.”
8. Jedi Mstr – If you ask Dodong: “Bakit wala ka pang asawa hanggang ngayon? Wala ka pa bang napupusuan?” And he answers: “Meron po koya…manhid ka lang…”
9. Mami Pakyaw – If while in the car, the amo goes: “Bakit amoy clorox?” And the driver goes: “Si ma’am naman, para nag-burp lang eh…”
10. Greg – If during breakfast time yaya comes crying to you: “Koya, sinabunutan ako ni Dodong! Gusto daw niya kasi siya ang magababate ng itlog niyo!”
11. Loipogi – You see Dodong with Judy Ann’s wedding picture, so you say: “Crush mo si Juday?” And he goes: “Duh! I was admiring the gown. It’s so Paul Cabral, with its classic chic form-fitting bodice…”
12. Blair – If the gas attendant asks your driver: “Ser, sagad ko?” And your driver answers: “Sige, isagad mo…isagad mo pa…”
13. Mojacko – You catch Dodong with another man in his room, and when you ask who that is, Dodong answers: “Koya, cousin ko po…cousin-tahan…”
14. OscarDelaHopia – Junior: “Dodong, tikman mo tong niluto ni mama kung masarap na.” Dodong: “Senyorito, ikaw nalang titikman ko, gawa ka din naman ng mama mo!”
15. RC & Cess – Pag sobrang tagal linisin ni Dodong yung kambyo ng kotse.
16. No name – If you ask yaya if your skirt is okay, and yaya answers: “Shorter…”
17. Hakunamatata – Ma’am: “Feeling ko talaga may ibang babae si ser mo.” Dodong: “Si ate talaga! Pinagsseselos ako!”
18. Pritijamels – Our houseboy is the only one teaching our myna bird words. One day, we heard the myna bird saying: “Frederico…Frederico…I love you.” Frederico is my uncle.
19. Loi Pogi – You tell your driver: “Traffic yata sa EDSA.” And your driver goes: “Keri lang, ser.”
20. Sasha Purse – Kuya: “Dodong! Nasaan ka ba?” Dodong: “Koya…nandyan lang lagi sa puso mo…”
21. Specialist – Kuya: “Ihanda mo yung kotse.” Driver: “Magmo-motel tayo?”
22. RC & Cess – Dodong 1: “Nagpa-tattoo ako, BARAKUDA!” Dodong 2: “Ako naman, LAWIN!” Dodong 3: “Ako din nagpa-tattoo! PUSA!” Dodong 1: “Anong klase, TIGRE?” Dodong 3: “Hindi!” Dodong 2: “LEON?” Dodong 3: “Hello Kitty.”

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