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Rejection is something we deal with everyday.  Even the people whom we probably think have never been rejected have their own stories to tell.  It’s almost annoying when you hear really good-looking celebrities saying how ugly they feel.  You almost want to say, “kung kayo pangit, paano na kami?”  Hehe…but there’s nothing like rejection to make you feel ugly and unappealing.

February 19, 2009 → The Top Ten Signs That He’s/She’s Just Not That Into You – Loi Pogi

1. Greg – When he says things like, “Nung bang bata ka palang, pangit ka na?”
2. Forg – If he won’t text unless you send him load.
3. Smiles-a-lot – You send him a sweet text and he replies: “Pasaload naman diyan, o!”
4. Gooey Kablooey – If whatever you give her, she gives away to her friends.
5. Hunter Lizie – If he says non-committal invites like, “Let’s have coffee one of these days”, but never gives an exact date.
6. Mr. Perk – If while on a date, he only talks about himself and never asks anything about you.
7. Dr. G – If every time you send a text like: “Kumusta na?”, ang sagot niya: “Mabuti naman PO sir, kumusta naman PO ang ASAWA niyo?”
8. Tyrone – If he says stuff like: “After my wife and two kids…ikaw na, pare.”
9. SPY Shadow/Juggernaut – If he only wants to see you every 15th and 3oth of every month.
10. Loi Pogi – You send him a flirty text like: “Maaga ako makakalabas ng office…” Then he replies: “Good, eh di maaga kang makakauwi.”
11. Gorgeous Bitch/I.M.D. – If for the nth time you texted him to invite him out, ang reply pa din niya: “Who u?”
12. Joel – IF he always says: “I love you” before sex, but never after.
13. Geyp – “If you tell her, “I love you”, and she replies, “Thank you, friend!”
14. Loi Pogi – If he accepts your friend request on Facebook, only to unfriend you after a few days.
15. Gorgeous Bitch – If he says, “Grabe, kamukhang-kamukha mo yung crush ko.”
16. Eylek – If every time you text or YM her sweet messages like, “I miss you” or “I love you”, ang sagot niya lagi ay: “:-)”
17. Boknoi – If you text her: “Gising ka pa?” at ang sagot niya ay: “zzzzzzz…”
18. RJ – If you text her: “It’s a great night to go out…” and she answers: “Have fun!”
19. Beautifulweirdo – If he says, “I’ll call you!” but never asked for your number.
20. Jam – If you ask her out and she replies: “Sinu-sino TAYO?”
21. Ash – You text her: “Ikaw ang pinakamahalagang tao sa buhay ko ngayon”. And she replies: “Ganun?”
22. Hopeless Jec – If she let’s you take her home, but she never replies to any of your texts.
23. Pancakes – If you ask her: “So…where do you live?” And she answers: “At the corner of ‘fat chance’ and ‘no way’.”
24. Astroboy -If every time you text him a romantic quote, he sends you a friendship quote in return.
25. Stanford – If you text her: “How are you today, sexy!” And she replies: “Mabuti naman po, kuya!”

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I love any Top Ten topic that involves movie titles.  It’s my guilty pleasure.  Sometimes a good title can spell the difference between a hit and a flop.  Did you know that Julia Robert’s “Pretty Woman” was originally given the title: “3000″, because this was the amount in dollars you had to pay if you wanted her for the night.  Test audiences thought, based on that title, that the movie was about hookers from the moon, so they scrapped it.

February 10, 2009 → The Top Ten Worst Titles For A Romantic Movie – Oscar Dela Hopia

1. No name – “Bahay-Bata Ko, Galawin Mo”
2. Esacada/Eric – “Ang Huling Landi Ni Lola”
3. Vanie – “Ihi Na Nga Lang Ang Pahinga, Binobosohan Pa”
4. Hopeless Jec – “Saan Ka Man Naroroon…Diyan Ka Na Lang”
5. Gerver – “Inday, Magkano Pakwan Sa ‘Yo?”
6. Loi Pogi – “Nung Magalit Ang Ibon, Sumikip Ang Pantalon”
7. Daboy Wonder – “Tatlong Putok Sa Pulang Kumot”
8. Jerome – “Walang Baklang Pangit Sa Lalaking Gipit”
9. Tarlakenyo – “Nangawit Ang Panga”
10. Kid Bukid – “Pusod, Puson, Pusit!”
11. The Wanderer – “Agahan (Iyo Ang Hotdog, Aking Ang Itlog)”
12. SC – “Ang Bading Na Ayaw Sa Saging”
13. RC and Cess – “Haplos Ng Kamay Na Pasmado”
14. SPY Shadow – “Akala Ko’y Utot Lamang”
15. Jose de vengenge – “Tayo’y Maglasing, Kumpare Kong Guwaping”
16. Escada – “Halika, Wag Kang Lalapit”
17. Greg/Anto – “Mahalin Mo Ko, Babaeng Cheapipay”
18. Geyp – Ang Kuwento Ni Dodong Masahista (Lawayan Mo, Baka Mausog)”
19. YñaKì – “Mga Halinghing At Buntong-Hininga Sa Likod Ng Palikuran Ng Mababang Paaralan Ng Sitio Masinsin”
20. Alias Pusa – “Tea, Tikoy, Para Sa ‘Yo”

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I was never into dating.  Formal dating?  I probably went on less than 5 in my entire life.  So I’m clueless on many of the minutiae of the art of dating.  So I’ll let you guys loose on this one.  Plus, it was timely because we did it Valentine month this year.

February 9, 2009 → The Top Ten Date Quotes – Oscar Dela Hopia/Specialist

1. Tyron – “What’s better than 12 roses on a piano? Tulips on an organ.”
2. Bernadette – I once told my date what the nuns in our school told us: “BBBBBBB – Books before boys because boys bring babies.”
3. Astroboy – “Kung papipiliin ka ng kakainin mamaya, puwede ako nalang?”
4. Taurean Tiger – My now-husband asked me on our first date: “How many kids do you want us to have?”
5. Frederique – “Alam mo ang ayaw ko sa iyo? Pag wala ka.”
6. No name – “The only thing I want to change about you…is your last name.”
7. ian024 – “My doctor gave me only 2 options regarding my heart condition: I.C.U. or you see me.”
8. Kian – “After our exam, puwede ako naman ang sagutin mo?”
9. Lovely Nuisance – “An officemate has been bugging me for a date for the longest time. Finally I agreed. At the resto, after looking at the menu, he told me: “Puwede KKB?”
10. Nobag – Laro tayo, kahit ano, wag lang taguan. Kasi a girl like you is hard to find.”
11. Jeka – “Kung aywa mo kong murahin…mahalin mo nalang ako.”
12. Frederique – “Sana dalawa ang puso ko. Para pag dinurog mo yung isa, may isa pa akong iaalay sa iyo.”
13. Pancakes – After the date. Girl: “Are you going to kiss me, or will I lie in my diary?”
14. Pancakes – Boy: “Can I borrow your cellphone? I promised my mom I’d call her once I meet my dream girl.”
15. Alias Pusa – At the movies, the guy saw that the theater was packed. He asked the girl: “Okay ka lang sa nakatayo?” The girl misunderstood the question and answered: “Kahit patuwad, puwede ako!”
16. Reggie – I told my then girlfriend (now wife) how sexy she was, but she thought I was being bolero because she was chubby then. I told her: “You’re about as perfect as I need you to be.”
17. Joao – “Don’t be late for a date or you’ll debate with your date.”
18. Boknoi – I once dated a homeless woman. She used to say: “It’s easy to convince me to stay the night…”
19. RC and Cess – “Don’t date a guy who reads the menu like the Chinese, from right to left. Because he’s checking the price first.”
20. Ang pagbAbAlik ng dating nasira at nangak0ng bAbA – “You’re like the moon; I’d like to see you tonight.”
21. Astroboy – “I’m a little bit like coffee: a litlle sweet, a little bitter, but best when hot.”
22. Carmela – “My life without you is like an unsharpened pencil: it’s pointless.”
23. Bluegrey – Babala sa mga babaeng naghahanap ng date: “Sa mga panahong ito, ruler nalang ang straight.”
24. Mr. Perk – “The best first date is a guy who touches nothing but your heart.”
25. Cecil of BPI – “Never invite last-minute invites for a date. You could simply be a last-minute replacement because the first choice turned him down.”
26. Chellix – Someone actually told me this: “Nakakahilo pala, sa iyo kasi umiikot ang mundo ke eh.”
27. Pretty Kitty/Zutil – “Sana assignment ka, para puwede kitang i-take home.”
28. Pipit – “Love isn’t blind, kasi nahanap kita.”
29. RC and Cess – “Para kang utot, tahimik pero malakas ang dating.”
30. Raxiboy – “Kung ibibigay ko sa yo ang manibela ng puso ko, ibubunggo mo ba sa pader ng kabiguan?”
31. Sponge Lola – “My favorite word for us is “united”, because it starts with U-N-I.
32. Pulanglangit – I once asked a date: “Do you have a pet peeve?” She answered: “Wala. Aso, meron.”
33. Boknoi – Took my date to McDo. When she couldn’t decide on what to order, the counter person suggested: “Fillet-o-fish?” My date answered: “Fillet o fish? Uhm…sige fillet nalang.”

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Whenever I’m on vacation, I really see lots of hot people.  And it really becomes a game of sorts, trying to figure out who’s single and who’s taken.  Sometimes, even if they’re with someone, you try to read their body language if they’re together or just friends.  There are signs, you just need to know how to identify them.

February 6, 2009 → The Top Ten Signs That Someone Is Single Or Taken – King Of Hearts

1. Maomao – When you say “Queensland”, ang alam ng single: butter, ang alam ng taken: motel.
2. Cheyenne – Marries OFW’s always say they’re “hiwalay” whenever they’re abroad.
3. Mulder’s Luvr – They’re single if they’re updated with all the TV shows.  They have all the time to watch TV.
4. Kayee – My friends know this: Pag sumasama ako sa inuman, I’m single. Pag di ako sumasama sa inuman, I’m taken.
5. Warriorpoet – Sa gimik, yung mga taken, tingin ng tingin sa relo.  Ang mga single, walang pakialam sa oras.
6. Lui – People who are taken move away when they text.
7. Espeks – If someone only wants to meet up with you on their own preferred time, doesn’t want anything unscheduled, always decides where you’ll go, he is taken.
8. Aelfeine – If one forearm is bigger than the other, then a guy is single.
9. Espeks/Acer – If a woman’s status is, “it’s complicated”, she’s taken. Either taken, or taken for granted.
10. Chefchefan – Single: idealistic. Taken: realistic.
11. Red – Single: always game. Taken: scheduled. Married: masuwerte na kung meron.
12. SC/Astroboy – Single: naniniwala pa rin sa destiny.
13. Bugabuga – Single: game na game! Taken: game over.
14. Ram – Ang single, ayaw sa bigote kasi madumi tignan. Ang taken, mahilig sa bigote kasi nakakakiliti.
15. Forg – People who whine about how Valentines has become a commercialized holiday for fools…are usually single.
16. Metrogirl/Abay – If he only takes your calls during office hours, he’s taken
17. Acer – People who take you out for Valentines on the 13th or the 15th, are taken.
18. Jhoy – If you borrow your date’s phone, and his inbox and sent item are empty, he’s taken.
19. Randacs8/SPY Shadow – Single pa pag ang hawak sa saging thumb at forefinger lang.
20. Macky Karabugs – Ang single pag suweldo, derecho sa mall. Ang taken pag suweldo, derecho sa grocery.
21. Purple – I learnd this from How I Met Your Mother: Single Stamina and Couples Coma. In a party, single people have the stamina to mingle. Couples sit down, wondering why they got up in the first place to go to a stupid party.

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This always bothered me.  Nobody goes through life thinking that they are the bad guys.  No matter how destructive, no matter how much they hurt you, no matter how much of a villain they play in your life.  To you, they’re like you’re personal Darth Vader.  But to them, they feel like Luke Skywalker.  And let’s face it, maybe WE’RE somebody else’s bad guy.  Even if I may feel disgruntled most of the time, I’m sure I’m the villain in somebody else’s opinion.

February 5, 2009 → The Top Ten Signs That You Are The Bad Guy – SC/Jorik

1. No name – Back in collage, whenever I rode the LRT, I used to love farting during rush hour. Everyone’s cursing out loud, but they have no choice but to take it kasi super siksikan.
2. Deric S. – When a car stole my parking spot, I put chewing gum under his car door handle.
3. Ang Manunusok – If you’ve got a bounty on your head, dead or alive.
4. RVincent – In our dorm we had the only water purifier, and no one but us was allowed to get water from it.
5. Leigh – I once prepared fish lumpia spiked with lots of tinik.
6. Edric – One time I was in an elevator and someone shouted, “Wait!”, but I pushed the close button. When I saw him on the same floor, he said, “Next time, don’t do that.” I told him, “No, next time, you run.”
7. Pia – I don’t like my lola’s yaya. I know her favorite show is Wowowee. So I’d turn the TV on, crank up  the volume loud enough for her to hear, then once she comes running, I change the channel.
8. Oceanmist – When I’m driving lalo na sa Quiapo, iniipit ko ang mga tricycle kasi singit ng singit.
9. SC – You’re prince is taken, so you try to snatch the princess role for yourself, when in fact you’re just the nasty witch who’s getting in their way.
10. Astroboy – Back in college, we had a spinster professor who purposely scheduled a major exam on the day of the oblation run, because according to her, “I don’t see the point of watching naked men run.”
11. Frederique – Pag brownout, binabatukan mo yung mga batang makulit na kinaiinisan mo, kasi yun lang ang pagkakataon mo na di ka mahuhuli.
12. Jorik – When my sister beat me in a school singing competition, I wrote on the white board in her room: “Dream Stealer!!!”
13. Pasturyo – I was the 3rd party in a relationship that caused their break-up. But now that my real girlfriend is arriving from abroad, I dumped the girl who dumped her boyfriend for me.
14. Karst – After not seeing each other for months, my friend said, “I missed you so much!” I told her, “Ako hindi.”
15. Toytuner27 – When you spray used motor oil on your neighbor’s laundry when they’re not looking.
16. RC and Cess – Pag may sasakyang pasaway, I overtake them, then babagalan ko yung takbo.
17. Kisses – Nilagyan ko ng sili yung panty ng roomate kong bully.
18. Daboy Wonder – If you’re kissing a girl against her will and she’s fighting back, then you say, “Yan ang gusto ko sa babae…yung lumalaban!”
19. Simang – I work in a call center. By law, we can’t just fire people because of bad grammar. So I call the person myself and give him a really bad time, so we’ll have a basis for termination.
20. Vavavoom – I hate my demonic sister-in-law. So one time I peed in her feminine wash.

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There seems to be an explosion of “emo-ness” in the air.  Could it be that 2009 is really a difficult year all-around?  Or is there just an over-abundance of drama in our lives?  So it’s perfect to post this popular topic today.  So for those in the mood, swim it it!

February 3, 2009 → The Top Ten Heartbreak Quotes – Astroboy, Oscar Dela Hopia, Specialist

1. Rusher Loparigno – “Sometimes the greatest enemy of our present happiness is the past happiness that is too well remembered.”
2. Aurae - “Why ruin the perfectly beautiful petals of a flower when you know from the start…that he loves you not.”
3. Aurae - “We know little about pain and regret — except that it is soluble in alcohol.”
4. Archiemon/Ivan - M. Kathleen Casey: “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”
5. Rhapsody – From the TV show House: “You left her because you want to be miserable. Miserable will not make you special. It will just make you miserable.”
6. Vi – “In love, what matters is not your success, but your significance.”
7. Maomao – Peter Parker: “What’s even more painful than being abandoned, is knowing that you’re not even worth an explanation.”
8. Lea – “I cried today not because I miss you, but because I finally realized I’m going to be alright without you.”
9. RC and Cess – “Break-ups occur when an unstoppable force collides with an immovable object.”
10. Sophie – “I’d rather be healthy alone, than sick with someone else.”
11. Bards – “Sometimes, you just have to put a period on something that has to end, and not settle for a comma.”
12. Benargirl/Candies - “Trying to forget someone you loved is like trying to remember someone you never knew.”
13. Glenskie – “6 billion people in the world, and all you need is one.”
14. Breise/Shall/Natalie – “When you left me, I was the one who loved you more. But between us, you lost more. Because someday, I can find someone I can love the way I loved you. But you will never find another who will love you the way I did.”
15. Charmville - “Love and death are two uninvited guests. Nobody knows when they come, but both do the same work. One takes the heart and the other takes it’s beat.
16. Maalindog na Paruparu – “Should I die of a broken heart, tell him it isn’t because he loved me too little, but because I loved him too much.”
17. Gudeve – “Everyone says love hurts. Love doesn’t hurt. Loneliness hurts, rejection hurts, envy hurts…but not love.”
18. No name – “Hearts are often broken with words left unspoken.”
19. Phipay Phapot – “We don’t eat what we’ve thrown up.”
20. Pulanglangit – “After a break-up, we mourn not for what we’ve lost, but for what’s left of it.”
21. No name – “Love is giving him the power to destroy you, but trusting him not to.”
22. No name – “Nothing in this world is permanent. You just have to love it while you have it.”
23. No name – “They say people come and go, but the truth is, no one really disappears from your life. People never really leave…their roles just change.”
24. No name – “Love can make us inseparable, but it can also reduce us to two people trying to forget each other.”
25. B – “Love is a 4-letter word for: ‘Here’s my heart and soul, please grind them into a hamburger and enjoy!’”
26. Lesh/Temptress26 – “Sometimes you can’t let go of the hurt, because it’s all that’s left of the greatest love story you never thought would end.”
27. Eien17 – “Love is one game you lose, by refusing to play.”
28. Joanna/Astroboy – “Being brokenhearted is like having a broken pair of ribs: on the outside it looks like there’s nothng wrong. But what no one knows is that every single breath hurts.”
29. Bibimpop – “It’s impossible to find someone who won’t make you cry. So instead, look for someone who will be worth the tears.”
30. Ash – “It took years to find you, but only a heartbeat to lose you.”
31. Dementia – “You cannot judge how I choose to fix what you broke.”
32. Eien17 – “The hardest part of saying goodbye, is having to do it all over again every single day.”
33. TReiz – “Someday I will find a person who fits me so well and so completely that I will forget all my previous heartbreaks. But today is not that day.”
34. Buck – “Meant for each other, does not always mean, meant to last.”
35. Ken – Celia Rodriguez: “You don’t move on from the pain. You get used to it.”
36. No name – “The most difficult times are mornings, knowing that the man of your dreams is waking up with the wrong woman.”
37. Yen - “When giving up is less painful than holding on, then it is time to let go.”
38. Archiemon - “You love to hate the one who loves the one you hate to love.”

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I wasn’t able to have the ugly pic runner-up photos because they were charging me 70 pesos per picture!  WTF?  I have a scanner at home that I haven’t used in ages, so I’ll just have to get it out of the box, install it again, and hope it still works.  Promise, by next week, maybe Tuesday, I’ll post the rest.  I guarantee you won’t be disappointed.  Anyway, it’s perfect timing that this should be the Top Ten next in line.  It’s perfect for the coming Halloween weekend.

February 2, 2009 → The Top Ten Signs That You’re Going To Hell – SC

1. Greg – If all the girls you’ve “been with” screams: “Demonyo ka, ang sarrraaaaaaap!!!”
2. Blitzen – If you’re bitching about the hot weather and and old woman hisses at you: “Masanay ka na…mas mainit sa pupuntahan mo…”
3. SC – If everytime you try to enter a church, the guard tells you: “Sori ma’am, bawal po pumasok ang mga spawn of Satan.”
4. No name – Pag nag-asawa ka, ang asawa mo dala ang langit, ang biyenan mo dala ang impiyerno.
5. Espeks – Everytime you kill anything, you feel a pat on your back and a soft whisper tells you: “Job well done…”
6. Specialist – Everytime you do something abhorrently evil, you feel warm and fuzzy inside.
7. Cheyenne – If you’re “horny” and you use your long hard “tail” to bitchslap your women.
8. Paolo – You’re going to hell if ang favorite mong  sapastos ay…high hells. (har har.)
9. Doc Rod – If your corpse won’t burn in the crematorium.
10. Cutepasaway – If someone asks you who your favorite angel is, and you answer: “Lucifer”.
11. Acer – I’m probably going to hell because the concept of heaven and hell that society insists on freaks me out.
12. TwistedSaint – If everytime you watch a horror movie like “The Exorcist” or “The Omen”, you find yourself rooting for the devil.
13. Cutepasaway – If every now and then, small demon-like creatures enter your room, salute you, then say: “Reporting for duty, master…”
14. Loi Pogi – Pag lagi kang dine-demonyo ng kapitbahay mong bading.
15. Buck/Hayud – If you’re a politician.
16. Ed/Juno – Every single day without you is a living hell.
17. No name – I’m Born Again Christian but I have 4 girlfriends who don’t know I’m four-timing them. I’m going straight to hell.
18. Dru – You don’t see the point of even trying to resist temptation.
19. Argento/Garfield – If your mom texts you: “Anak sori na me, pero binenta me ang kaluluwa u kay s8an para may pambayad me ng utang. K? Txt-txt!”
20. GaylYashie – Dante Allighieri: “The darkest places in hell are reserved for those who maintain their neutrality in the midst of moral crisis.”

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I have never cheated on someone I was in a relationship with (knock on wood).  I have never been cheated on by soemone I was in a relationship with (as far as I know, knock on wood).  So cheating for me is the big evil relationship bogeyman that I’ve always feared.  I count myself blessed for not having experienced this, and I pray I don’t ever have to, whether as the cheater or the cheatee.

January 30, 2009 → The Top Ten Things To Say To A Loved One Who Cheats

1. Undoy – “To SYPHILISLANDIA with you, you horny bitch!”
2. Mr. Perk – “Okay, quits na tayo.”
3. No name – “It’s sad that you cheated on me, but what’s sadder is that I still love you as if it never happened.”
4. Starbuko – “If you’re going to cheat, sana man lang level up, not level down!”
5. Mr. Perk – “Of all the lies that you’ve told me, “I love you” is my favorite.”
6. YñaKì – “Nangangati ka lang pala, pinakamot mo pa sa iba!”
7. Cheyenne – “Ha! Read our pre-nup, LOSER!”
8. Oscar dela Hopia – “Sorry is not synonymous with I won’t do it again.”
9. Umerz – “Sa pangit niyang yan? Go. Sure ako, true love yan!”
10. Geyp – “You’re like baboy na nag-swim sa mud. You’re like, ew.”
11. Neil – “You lose. I’ll find someone I’ll love as much as I loved you. But you’ll never find someone who’ll love you the way I did.”
12. Toytuner27 – “You cheated on your husband to be with me. So I expect nothing less from you.”
13. Eien17 – “If love is a game, I demand a rematch!”
14. Pasturyo – “Ang pagmamahal ko sa y0 ay parang talaba…patay na, nakakapit pa!”
15. Espeks – “sabagay ganito yata talagaTama ang sabi nila…pag madaling nakuha, madaling agawin.”
16. Loipogi – “I understand. Sa bagay, I’m sure nakakasawa din ang guwapo, kaya tumikim ka naman ng pangit.”
17. Mama K – “Diba sabi mo noon mamamatay ka pag nawala ako? Puwes, simula mo na!”
18. Lee Marvin – “Hon, may naghahanap sa yo. Karma daw?”
19. C.VanillaBen – “Ano, nawala ba naman ang kati?”
20. Andi – “If you can’t be faithful, I hope you were careful.”
21. Cheryl – “Sabi ni Andrew E. humanap ng pangit at iibigin kang tunay? Eh bakit ikaw?”
22. Dru – “Hell hath no fury like a diva scorned.”
23. SC – “Revenge is a dish best served cold.”
24. Doc Cameron – “A perfect match: a dog and his bitch.”

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I’ve always been a scaredy-cat.  I’ve always been less scared of robbers than I was of supernatural beings.  You can kill a man, but you can’t kill a ghost or a vampire or a demon or an aswang.  Well at least that was my logic as a kid.  I’m glad we never had a “haunted” house, or at least one that we think was haunted.  I guess that’s why I had such a fascination with horror movies when I grew up, it was some kind of masochistic pleasure to scare myself silly.

January 29, 2009 → The Top Ten Signs That Your House Is Haunted

1. Jeanel – In our house in the province, my brother walk by, said goodbye, then walked out the front door, the only door in or out of the house.  A few minutes after, my brother walk by again, said goodbye again, then walked out the front door AGAIN.
2. Noel – Once our choir was recording our song for a cd project. When it was the sopranos’ turn, they went into the small booth and sang into mike. When they played back the track, there was a distinct extra voice singing with them.
3. Banatero – In our old house, time and again I’d be awakened by 3 loud knocks on my bedroom door.  I’d open it, and no one would be there. And when I check the clock, it’s always 3am.
4. Awsom – Nung nag-iinuman kami sa house ng friend namin, tuwing tatawa kami, may madidinig kaming boses ng bata na nakikitawa sa amin.
5. No name – Two years ago my dad was deathly sick. During that time, my nephew (brother’s son) would always be awakened at night, around 3-4am, by a small black creature saying, “pagagalingin ko lolo mo, pero sasama ka sa akin…“
6. The Temptress – I sleep wearing only my undies, with the clothes I’ll wear the next day beside my bed. One night after sleeping, I woke up after 4 hours fully dressed.
7. Neil – My cousin is driving somewhere in Angeles when he passed by a hospital in a remote area. Then he heard a loud distinct yawn from the backseat. He was alone in the car.
8. Specialist – In the dorm I lived in back in collage, I’d see silhouettes of people walking around, reflected on shiny surfaces.
9. SC – My sister is a nurse at a popular hospital. She heard stories about a child that appears at a certain operating room. And they say when this child appears, the one being operated on, will die.
10. Miah – This happened to our friend who was in Canada then. He was chatting with his fiancee via the webcam when she asked him who was the lady who was with him in his room.  He freaked out because he was alone, so he ran out of his house.
11. No name – My friend was recording her voice on her cellphone while in Baguio. When she played it back, there was a voice in the background pleading, “tulungan mo ko…“
12. Simon Walker – One time our kasambahay told me she sees a white lady in my room. I joked, “sabunutan ko pa yun eh!” The next morning, I woke up with scratches on my face.
13. Ilyang – Our lola  owned a dresser that we kept in our house. Housemaids who would tell us that they’s see our lola inside the mirror of the dresser, eventually were proven to be thieves. It’s as if our lola is warning us. So now, the moment a maid says she sees our lola, we let her go, no questions asked.
14. No name – There’s a little girl who’d knock on my door from 3am to 3:15am. I just leave her alone, then she eventually stops after 15 minutes.
15. AssumptionistLalala - Anak: “Tay, totoo po bang may multo?” Tatay: “Anak walang multo! Bakit mo natanong?” Anak: “Sabi kasi ni yaya may multo raw!” Tatay: “Anak, mag-impake ka na. Langya ka, wala tayong yaya!”
16. Louise - An officemate who went to HK on a business trip stayed in this decent motel. One time, while she boarded a lift, the lift stopped midway between floors, the lights fluctuated and the buttons became pure Chinese characters.
17. Specialist – Every after taking a bath, steam forms on the mirror with a message, “I can see you…”
18. Annepotpot – Me and my officemates had a sleepover, and in the middle of the night, all the members of our team woke up gasping for air. We all had the same dream: that someone was suffocating us with our pillow.
19. Ray – My friend’s 4-year-old son was playing in his room when the kid told him, “can you watch over my playmate?” He freaked out and asked, “What playmate?” His kid told him, “that black kid beside you.”
20. Eric – In a boarding house in Calumpit, the owner warned us not to mess around with the room at the end of the corridor. One night, our friend got too curious and peeked inside the keyhole.  All he saw was red. The next morning he couldn’t resist so he asked the owner why the “secret” room was red. She stood up, led us to the room and opened the door.  It was all white. She said her daughter died there with her eyes open, all red. When our friend was peeking in, her daughter was probably peeking out at the same time.

The Best And The Rest 188

This is like the mirror image of the last Top Ten, like the bizarro versions of the inspirational quotes.

January 27, 2009 → The Top Ten Shameful Quotes – Louise

1. Benargirl – “I LOVE YOU has eight letters. So does BULLSHIT.”
2. Dianne – “We are all fate’s bitches. We might as well bend over for destiny now.”
3. McDenzel – “You don’t wanna think positive after an HIV test.”
4. Astroboy – “If there’s a will, there are anxious relatives.”
5. Kid Bukid – “It’s hard to soar like an eagle when you’re working with turkeys!”
6. Mommy Ming Gere – ”Ang taong gipit, sa bading kumakapit.”
7. Zac Apron – “What’s the difference between c0mplete and finished? When you marry the right girl, you’re c0mplete. But when you marry the wrong girl, you’re finished.”
8. Ian024 – “Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning.”
9. Nekosci – “The roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl’s empty, and so is your head.”
10. FK Gurl - “Opportunity knocks only once. Temptation leans on the doorbell.”
11. Ian024 – “Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.”
12. Astroboy – “It’s hard to do nothing, you wouldn’t know when you’re done.”
13. Speaks – “Kung ang fishball gawa sa fish, ang squidball gawa sa squid, saan gawa ang kiki-am?”
14. Lexie – “Matitiis ang hapdi, ang kati hindi.”
15. EMR – “Ang syota parang tinola, pag mainit, masarap. Ang kabit parang paksiw, habang tumatagal, lalong sumasarap. Ang asawa parang sardinas, binubuksan lang pag wala ng makain.”
16. Glenford – “It’s better to lose a lover than love a loser.”
17. Feb15 – “Ang pag-aaral ang pinto ng tagumpay. Pero ang pangongopya ang susi sa pinto.”
18. Feb15 – “Mahirap labanan ang katamaran, lalo na pag tinatamad kang labanan ito.”
19. SPY Shadow – “You will know your kids are growing up when they stop asking where they came from and start refusing to tell you where they’re going.”
20. Feb 15 – “Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It’s formality, just like two boxers, shaking hands before the fight begins.”
21. Your Highness – “You know you’re approaching middle age, when the narrow waist and the broad mind begin to change places.”
22. KiD BuKid – “Marriage is a very expensive way to get your laundry done.”
23. Gracia – “Walang baklang pangit sa lalaking gipit.”
24. Mr. Perk – Enjoy life. You’ll be dead longer.”
25. Twylyt – “Ang tawag sa gumagawa ng tubo, tubero. Ang tawag sa kumukuha ng basura, basurero. Ang tawag sa mahilig sa gimik, gimikero. Ang mahilig sa babae, babaero. Ang tawag sa laging nasa sa kanto…eh di tambay!”
26. Twylyt – “My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way.”
27. Dru – “Ang utak, parang kotse yan…walang kwenta pag mabagal.”
28. Geyp – “A secretary is not permanent unless screwed on the desk.”
29. Talisay - “Before marriage: when a man holds a girl’s hand, it is love. After marriage: when a man holds a girl’s hand, it is self-defense.”
30. TReiz - “Man who runs in front of car get TIREd, man who run after car get EXHAUSTed.”
31. Marco – “You’ll never know what true happiness is until you get married. But by then, it’s too late.”
32. Forg – “Confidence: The feeling you get right before you understand the situation.”
33. No name – “First love never dies, but true love can bury it alive.”
34. Geyp – “There is no such thing as rape, because a woman w/ skirt up, can run much faster than man w/pants down.”
35. Your Highness – “The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it.”
36. No name – “It’s not about winning…it’s about making other teams lose no matter what.”
37. Oscardelahopia – “Many books in this world – the Bible, the Quoran, the Guru Granth, the Gita – all teach us to love one other. But only the Kamasutra explains how!”