When it comes to many things in life, we actually know what to do, we just don’t want to. This ad is the perfect example of this.
Health
This just broke my heart into pieces. And strangely, just earlier, I was stressing about how “fat” I am, just when we’re about to hit the beach. I’m not even technically overweight. I’m actually quite near my ideal weight, but I still consider myself fat, especially next to Derek Ramsey-ish people. I guess watching this puts things in perspective. I really hope this video has a happy ending somewhere. Maybe Ellen or Oprah or some weight management guru will take his case under their wing and see it all the way through it’s triumphant conclusion. I’m really rooting for a happy ending for this guy. When he started tearing up, it just crushed me. 
We’re having this biggest loser game at the office. Whoever loses the most pounds during a specified time table wins the cash prize. I’m going to win this baby. This is how I’ll look like by the time I take home the prize.
Seriously though, this model needs intervention. She’s like a high-fashion skeletal system!
During our hosting in Tagaytay last Friday, it was really pouring. Plus, we had to walk a good 15 minutes under the rain to get to the venue from the parking area. As it was, I already wasn’t feeling so well, but getting soaked and all that really took it’s toll on me. When I got home from our gig, I was already getting the chills. By yesterday morning, I was really full-blown sick already. So today, I decided to go back to my nephew who’s an acupuncturist (I blogged about him before), if he could give me a one-time, big-time session. So first he put needles on my front: 2 needles in each foot, 3 in each hand, 1 below each knee, 3 in my belly, 1 in my ribcage, right above the solar plexus, and 1 on the very top of my head. There’s actually almost no pain. You hardly feel the entry of the needles. The pain isn’t sharp, it’s more like a dull thud. He also put like a box on my belly that has some moxa burning inside. After, I turned over and it was time for my back. I got 3 needles on my nape, then ventosa. After around 15 minutes, water came out of my pores. According to my acupuncturist, I have an excess of “water” and a deficiency in “fire”, of course not to be taken literally. The ventosa is supposed to suck out the toxins in your body. But boy, I was ready to sleep after that! I could barely walk back to the house. I really hope this does the trick, because I’m starting to develop a really bad cough. Here’s another angle of the ventosa. You can actually see the 3 needles on my nape in this shot. Dr. Jake actually came to my rescue many times in the past (shoulder pains and flu), so I’m confident he worked his science well this time!
Since many of you wanted to try it out the last time I posted about it, you can get in touch with Dr. JC Aniban through 0917-8224015, in case you want to set an appointment.
I’ve been complaining about this gnawing pain on my right shoulder blade, and many have said it could be because of the daily 4-hour mouse-ing I do on the computer while we work. Which is probably true, because the pain is most intense around 2 or 3 hours into the show. I’ve tried getting massages, to get rid of the “lamig’, and my barber did say it’s like I have knots the size of golf balls on the right side of my back. So finally I decided to have it checked by my nephew JC who’s an acupuncturist. He’s an MD, but he also does acupuncture, so he’s got the best of both worlds. He said it is most likely the strain my laptop is causing, and that if unchecked, the damage will spread to other parts of the arm system. So he put needles all around the shoulder blade, then he attached some wires to the needles which carried an electric current. I didn’t feel an electric shock, it was more like pulses, which made my muscles twitch, like a reflex. It was an odd feeling, but not painful, just new. After the acupuncture, he also did some ventosa on me, which is basically glass cups that act like suctions, which alleviate pain and remove toxins in the body. As you can see in the picture above, the marks on my back were where the glass cups were. The darker the marks, the more toxins were removed. The marks disappear after a couple of days. It was quite an experience, but I must say, it really helped ease a lot of the pain, actually more like intense “ngawit”. I did this in the afternoon yesterday, and since then I haven’t had the pain back. I shouldn’t have waited for a couple of weeks to get treated, it wouldn’t have gotten this bad if I got needled at the start of the pain.
Anyway, I just thought I’d blog about the experience because it might help out some of you who might be having some problems with your back, muscles, sports injuries, and actually any other medical problems. My nephew’s pretty good at what he does, and I’m not saying that just because I’m related to him. In case you want to try acupuncture or ventosa, you can set an appointment with him, his name is Dr. JC Aniban, you call him up at 0917-8224015.
Given that I just had my dog Siam neutered yesterday (he’s fine by the way), I suddenly remembered the recent “study” that supposedly shows the average penis size per country. The “research” shows that the countries with the largest penises are, from the largest: Congo (7.1 inches), Ecuador (6.9 inches), Ghana (6.7 inches), Colombia (6.7 inches) and Venezuela (6.7 inches). On the other side of the spectrum, are the countries with the tiniest penises, with North and South Korea taking home smallest honors with an average penis size of (3.9 inches). Also bringing up the rear are Cambodia, Thailand, India, and Burma. For the curious, The Philippines logged in a 4.2-inch average, while the Americans surprisingly came out a not-so-impressive 5.1-inch average. Of course it goes without saying that these measurements reflect the penises in their tumescent stage.
As far as races are concerned, the African and Latin American countries ended up as the largest, with the Asians coming in last, and the Europeans and North Americans in the middle.
I put quotation marks on the words “study” and “research” because the provenance of the dubious study has been traced to a company selling penis extenders. So this I guess casts a large shadow of doubt on how kosher this global penis chart is. And the study shows that some of the data are “self-reported”, meaning, the respondents were not actually measured, but that they only claimed that their wieners were actually that long. This is a bit disturbing given that most men tend to exaggerate just how well-endowed they are. They should’ve asked the wives or girlfriends instead for a more accurate measurement. That said, I find it funny that even with some exaggerated figures, some countries still fell short. So does that mean that some of the reported 3.9-inch averages are actually even smaller? Egad!
(Warning: possibly NSFW. For 18+ only)
Hahaha ang galing ni Ma’am! Talented! Parang nalingat ka lang…BULAGA…may condom ka na! Hahaha! Oh well, it was on YouTube so I figured it’s safe to post. I swear, watching this really made my day. I just didn’t think our health workers were so…uhm…progressive in their techniques in informing those in the “entertainment” industry. And looking at her, you wouldn’t think she’d be so nonchalant about demonstrating techniques of the “job”. Like nooneenoo, wala lang, let me put this condom in my mouth and sheath a wooden erect penis. Panalo.
Here’s the official word on what this is from YouTube:
“Angeles City, Philippines – From being identified in the 2003 IHBSS as the number one site for HIV infection, Angeles City is no longer in the top three despite being the “entertainment capital of the Philippines.”
The secret: strict monitoring of those involved in the “entertainment” industry and creativity. Here, a local health worker demonstrates a technique on how to get around the usually difficult negotiation process between clients and sex workers over condom use. — Video taken by Ana Santos for Newsbreak
The video is part of a SPECIAL REPORT series by Ana Santos produced under the Maggie de Pano Fund for Investigative Reporting on Health. The Fund, which is managed by Newsbreak, is funded through a grant from Macare Medicals, Inc.”
(information on the lingam massage issue were taken from news articles published in globalnation.inquirer.net, sunstar.com and cdn.ph)
Our little discussion earlier on lingam massage got a lot of reactions from people so I decided to post about it. Before yesterday, I didn’t even have any idea what the hell a lingam massage was. I knew about “happy endings” (or so I’ve been told), but I’ve never heard of an almost spiritual approach to massaging the “love hammer”. But I get ahead of myself. Yesterday on Twitter, Carlos Celdran posted a picture of a sign in Cebu advertising lingam massage. He too was asking what the heck it was. A lot of people posted comments on the lingam brouhaha in Cebu. Apparently, many people protested the proliferation of lingam massages in many spas and massage parlors, so much in fact, that some Japanese, Korean and Chinese tour operators allegedly started to include lingam massages as part of their tour packages in the Philippines. A women’s group and the spa organization of Cebu got into the matter at once and started closing spas offering this service due to lack of sanitary permits and health cards. Many legit spa owners fear that people might perceive spas as fronts for prostitution.
But some owners of spas offering lingam massage defended their practice by saying that it is an accepted form of massage in places like Egypt, Thailand, New York, California, London, and even strict countries like Singapore and Malaysia. They stressed that authentic lingam massage is not about sex, but about healing and therapy. And unlike some less reputable massage establishments, real lingam therapists do not allow themselves to be touched back by their clients. They reiterate that in many countries, lingam massage is accepted, legal, and not considered an illicit act of sex.
So what’s the big deal? Well, the fuss is basically about the part of the body that’s being massaged. Lingam is a sanskrit word meaning: “wand of light”, which refers to the male dinglehopper. The goal is to massage the lingam (or the birdy-bird), the testes (yagbadoodles), the perineum (the pateros, “kasi bagsakan ng itlog”), and the Sacred Spot or the prostate (massaged from the outside, not via the poop chute). The goal is not to “reach the peak”, but it is an acceptable side effect if needed.
So you see, it’s all very subjective. If you’re into Tantra or Sacred Sexuality, then it’s a blissful therapeutic experience. If you’re a regular guy who’s not into the esoteric arts, it sounds awfully like a handjob. Plus, I think it will really depend on the client. Even if say, the therapist is serious about her craft, and really studied and mastered the craft of lingam massage, if the client is some douchebag who’s just out for a cheap thrill, then it doesn’t really matter what the intentions of the therapist may be, the only thing he cares about is to get his release. So it’s a case of pearls before swine. Practitioners can’t tell for sure which of their guests are authentic clients curious about the practice, and which are just DOM’s who want a “legitimate” way to get their rocks off.
So the debate rages on. It may be legal and accepted in other countries, but the Philippines is still on the fence. There are those who deplore it, and those who defend it. Only the public can dictate which way popular opinion will swing. It might take a lot more time for people to accept this practice, especially in a country that still attaches a lot of stigma to massage parlors due to the proliferation of “extra services” and “happy endings” in sleazier versions of spas.
I was wondering if YouTube has a video on lingam massage, knowing that they’re so strict on sex and nudity, but I found one! It found a funny way to make it safe for public consumption. It’s turned out unintentionally hilarious:
Okay, before you freak out, yes there is such a thing. I discovered this recipe in a blog (passionatehomemaking.com) that has natural homemade stuff for cleaning the house and some stuff that you can use on your body. She has recipes for homemade toothpaste, shampoo, etc., but the ingredients were a little intimidating (where the hell can I get Dr. Bronners castile liquid soap here in Manila?), so I decided to give the simplest recipe a try: Homemade Natural Deodorant. It only has 3 ingredients: 1/4 cup baking soda, 1/4 cup arrowroot powder or corn starch, and 5-6 tbsp of organic cold-pressed virgin coconut oil. I went to a drugstore and looked at all the VCO brands out there, and I only found one that actually says “cold-pressed”, so I went for that even if I’m sure the others were cold-pressed too (whatever that means). I just wanted to be sure. I’m supposed to mix the 2 powders, then ease in the VCO until I get a solid mass, similar to the consistency of a deodorant stick. Then, I’m supposed to coat my armpits with that concoction and the blogger swears by it!
Of course, I always flunked work ed back in grade school. Anything that remotely resembles work education, arts and crafts, home economics, practical arts, I suck at major. I sucked at macrame, basket-weaving, necklace-making, candle-making, sculpture, painting, and the list goes on. So what makes me think I can actually make this hipster organic stuff and not make an absolute fool of myself? What’s the worse that could happen? Worst case scenario is that my pits will smell like macaroons the whole day. Or at the end of the day I’ll have a crusty coconut-flavored muffin under each pit. If it doesn’t work then I’ll try to look for that castile soap and try to make homemade shampoo next.
One simple experiment is plain VCO. The blogger said it’s good to use as moisturizer as is. It’s supposed to be absorbed quickly by the skin, so you don’t feel too greasy. It can also be used as conditioner. Put a pea-sized amount on wet hair, she says better too little than too much, and if you put just the right amount, your hair will look great without being too greasy. So if you see me and you get a whiff of a coconut-y aroma, then you know the experiment is afoot. Forgive me in advance if I reek of niyog. And imagine if I use VCO to moisturize my loin area, it’s a deadly combination: niyog + itlog na maalat = bibingka!
Seriously, I promise to post an update on this blog. I’ll try to take a photo of the final product, but don’t expect any armpit shots (I’ll leave that to Delle). And I promise to give you an honest evaluation of whether the recipe works or not. Wish me luck!
I saw this video a couple of weeks ago, and even now I find it very disturbing:
This 2-year-old Sumatran kid was smoking roughly 40 cigarettes a day! His name is Ardi Rizal (I know, right?) and his dad taught him to smoke, just because, wala lang, he felt like it. The dad gave Ardi his first cigarette at 18 months old! I don’t know what the dad was smoking, that would make him think this was fine. And later on, according to his parents, Ardi would throw tantrums and bang his head on the wall if they refused to supply him with cigarettes. Duh. Ardi quickly became an internet sensation when his video hit online sites. The Indonesian government took notice immediately and started treatment of the nicotine habit. They were able to stop him from smoking for 2 hours by distracting him with toys. They brought in a team including a pediatrician and a psychiatrist to help curb the smoking habit of a disastrous public relations nightmare.
The case has piqued the interest of many watchers because in many countries, especially in Asia, marketing tobacco products are still heavily aimed at women and children, without accompanying warnings of the ill effects of the products. Many people still don’t know that smoking is dangerous to their health. The WHO says about 400,000 Indonesians die every year from smoking-related illnesses.
Thank goodness the Philippines has already stopped ads of cigarettes and in some cities, banned in indoor areas. I understand the right of people to smoke if they choose, but once the smoke pollutes the air of other people, that’s when I have a problem with it. The risks you take as a smoker is your business, I respect that. But the moment I’m inhaling your second-hand smoke, then it becomes my business. If you smoke inside your house, I’m cool with that. But if I’m eating in a restaurant and your smoke wafts into my breathing space, then it’s not cool. My right to breathe clean air overrides your right to smoke cigarettes. As long as I don’t have to breathe your smoke, you can do whatever you want with your lungs.
I remember one time we were in a Chinese restaurant in Makati, and we were in a no smoking area with a huge sign that says, well, NO SMOKING. Then a group of Asian foreigners come in and start lighting their cigarettes right next to our table and start puffing smoke like chimneys. To avoid a confrontation, we talked to the manager and pointed out to her that they are smoking in the non-smoking area that they designated. The smoking area was upstairs, and they should move there. To our disbelief, the manager asked us if we wanted to transfer tables because the foreigners refused to stop smoking, and refused to transfer upstairs to the smoking area. Unbelievable.
It’s so common now for people who have never smoked a single stick of cigarette to die of lung cancer, all because of second-hand smoke. Usually these are people who live with smokers and get to inhale their smoke on a daily basis. Again, I have nothing against smokers. I know many people who smoke who are very conscious about where they exhale their fumes. Either their go outside or they make sure they exhale away from people. It’s their choice to smoke, but it’s also my choice to breathe clean air. It’s a fair exchange.
