Thank goodness there were no cellphones yet when I was still in college, which was the time when I was most likely drunk, sick, depressed, or a combination of the three. Now, I keep my phone away from me if I’m in any danger of texting something incriminating. Now it’s more of the tweeting that scares me.
November 24, 2009 → The Top Ten Drunk Texts – Sent in by Fireflies
- No name – I was drunk AND had diarrhea. I kept going to the bathroom. So I texted my boyfriend: “Ang hapdi na ng pwet ko!” But I ended up sending it to his mom.
- Mr. Tino – “Wanna meet tonight? I’m hot for you…ROAR.” I accidentally texted this to my lola.
- Jeep – At the prom: “Boring naman ng date na binigay mo!” Then I sent it to my date.
- Kalsjr – I woke up in bed, and I groggily texted this message to my girlfriend: “Bhe, uwi na ko diyan in a while.” Then I felt a splash of cold water on my head. It was my girlfriend. I was in bed with HER.
- Dian17 – Someone I like texted me that he liked me. I texted him back: “Don’t worry, you have a chance. I’m not into good looks.”
- Sharkbait – I got a text from a friend that said: “Have you heard about your ex’s dad?” Immediately I texted my ex: “My condolences.” She texted back: “He’s still alive, just at the ICU.” Then a second text from my friend arrived: “Her dad’s at the ICU!”
- Gorgeous Bitch – At my drunkest I texted my best friend: “Unlike you, hindi ako mukhang pera!” It took 5 years before we spoke to each other again.
- No name – When I was super drunk at 4am, I texted my uber crush college prof: “Why won’t you answer my call? I’m horny!” The next day, I dropped his class.
- Shiemar – “Mom, I’m somewhere in Malate. Please ask Dad to pick me up wherever I am.”
- No name – So drunk I texted my ex: “Why did you go? Can you give us another chance? Where are you? Can I call?” Her reply: “I’m on my honeymoon.”
- Kit – My girlfriend is married to someone else. One time, we were drunk and had a huge fight, so I took her cellphone and texted to “send to all” on her phone book: “Patay na si Eric!” Eric is her husband.
- Mr. Perk – “Ate, I’ll be home late. I lost my cellphone.”
- Infrared – I once texted my ex: “I broke up with you not because you cheated, but because I’m in love with your mom.”
- Fireflies – “The moon is full, just like my swollen breasts.”
- No name – I texted my best man at my wedding: “I never told you that in high school, I fell for you.” We no longer talk.
- No name – While I was on vacation, a co-worker kept texting me about work-related stuff. Eventually she called me up because I texted her this message: “P*tang*na naman, istorbo ka talaga sa panonood ko ng porno!”
- Donrey – To my husband when I was so drunk: “Please win me back. You’re losing me.”
- Specialist – After a drinking session, I got the courage to text my crush if we can have a late night snack. I was supposed to text: “Wanna meet up? I’m hungry.” But because I was drunk, I accidentally sent my text without finishing the message. So the text I sent came out: “Wanna meet up? I’m hung”
- Purple Apple – Texted my crush: “I’m still a virgin, but I’d let you change that.”
- Jotho – I texted my best friend/cousin: “I banged your girl.” I lost a best friend, I lost a cousin, but I gained a black eye.
- No name – Smashed drunk, I texted my dad: “I’ve always hated you.”
- Jotho – I texted my crush: “I’m willing to die today if you’d allow me to touch your breasts.”
- Pinky Vi – Texted this to my friends: “I take care of everybody, how come nobody takes care of me?”
- Homer Singson – Frustrated with a girl, I was supposed to send this text to my friends: “Ayoko na. Napuno na ako sa kanya! Magsama sila ng nanay niyang gorilla!” I accidentally sent it to her.
- Shammysamsam – I texted my late boyfriend’s cellphone number: “Ikaw sana ang nagbabantay sa akin ngayon. Bumalik ka na pls, I miss you!”
