Kepkeyks

Promise, last na ‘to!

Thanks to @galieblitz on Twitter for sending the link! I just felt that this would be the perpek kepkeyks to serve in the wedding where the bride wears the gown from my last post. Okay, tama na ‘to, let’s move on! Nom nom nom nom nom! Sober rang bus toes!

The Best Wedding Gown EVER

Do you want to see the world’s best wedding gown ever made in the history of weddings and gowns? Feast your eyes on this work of art:

The Top Ten Ways To Complete The Statement: “I Love You, But…”

Funny, while I was going through the texts we got that day, apparently, some other DJ from another station was mocking us on air. So I guess we were reacting. So apt, since earlier some other “personality” from another station was again, being nasty. Oh well…

December 4, 2009 → The Top Ten Ways To Complete The Statement: “I Love You But…”

1. Green Grin – I love you, but when you shouldn’t, you suck. And when you should, you don’t.
2. Mojacko – I love you, but I’m afraid to tell you.
3. Hannah Banana – I love you, but when we talk, I don’t think you hear me.
4. Hannah Banana – I love you, but we only do things your way.
5. Hannah Banana – I love you, but I miss the old you.
6. Zuperjelly – I love you, but I don’t do girls anymore.
7. Vine – I love you. but you’re a liar, you’re unfaithful and you’re a mama’s boy who can’t even decide on his own!
8. Dylan – I love you, but I don’t want to be just another in your long line of exes.
9. Blitzkrieg – I love you, but you have to unlove him first.
10. Eroflux – I love you, but I know better now.
11. Yen – I love you, but I’m getting tired of saying it.
12. Gorgeous Bitch – I love you, but not enough to spend a lifetime with you.
13. Übervamp – I love you, but if you don’t get rid of your Spongebob briefs, you’ll never get to see my Dora The Explorer panties!
14. Dru – I love you, but you have your husband, and I have my boyfriend.
15. Pluto – I love you, but only when I’m lonely.
16. Wandering Eneri – I love you, but I know you only see me as the sister you never had.
17. Eien17 – I love you, but your wife and children need you.
18. Cherry The Great – I love you, but your mom is freaking me out!
19. Kirky Mommy – I love you, but it’s illegal in this country.
20. Baby Jen – I love you, but you don’t make it easy.
21. Cess Ni RC – I love you, but I have to do this on my own.
22. Greenhorn – I love you, but your bird is too small!
23. Blair – I love you, but I can’t afford you.
24. Dennis Pinch – I love you, but you put too many H’s in your texts: (For example, “mhiss you nha pho!”)
25. YñaKì – I love you, but you’re my inaanak.
26. Oscar Dela Hopia – I love you, but I don’t think you can handle my big…EGO.
27. GBoyNextDoor – I love you, but I’m not sure if I’m straight enough for you.
28. Buffy – I love you, but you hang out with a bunch of idiots.
29. Mr. Miser – I love you, but your dad’s hitting on me.
30. Baby Gaga – I love you, but you keep saying stuff like: “McDonald”, “Goldilock”, “Wendy” and the worst, “Shakey”.

World’s Ugliest Dog 2011

Yes, there is an actual annual contest. Don’t take it too seriously, the owners absolutely LOVE these dogs, they just want their babies to be the “best”, even at being the “worst”. And this year’s winner is:

YODA

We joke a lot about ugly this and ugly that, but I truly believe, as corny as it may sound, that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Like I said, we probably wouldn’t want to have a dog that was just awarded the World’s Ugliest, but these owners absolutely adore these pets. So treat ugly as relative, like the stereotype women considered ugly here in the Philippines, but who make it big as supermodels in Europe. Anyway, check out the previous winners:

PRINCESS ABBY FRANCIS (2010)

PABST (2009)

GUS (2008)

ELWOOD (2007)

I actually find many of these dogs cute. But I must say, the 2006 winner kind of trumped everyone before or since. He’s kind of on a league of his own. I would keep any of the above dogs, especially this year’s winner, Yoda, since he’s got that crazy happy vibe, but the 2006 winner is downright scary. Anyway, you be the judge. Presenting…the World’s Ugliest Dog 2006 is…

are you ready…

Are you sure you’re ready…

Last chance…

SAM (2006)

He’s a bit scary, no? Sam was a blind pure-bred Chinese Crested hairless dog, and three time champion of this contest, 3 years in a row. I’m sure he’s a sweet dog, but I’d probably freak out if Sam popped up out of nowhere in the middle of the night as I get me a glass of water. BUT…if he were my dog, I’d love him anyways.

The Top Ten Things You Learned From Facebook And Twitter

Just keep in mind that we did this topic back in 2009 when more people were on FB as compared to Twitter. So most of the entries were about Facebook. Of course now, if we were to do the same topic on FB and Twitter, we’d get a more representative percentage.

December 3, 2009 → The Top Ten Things You Learned From Facebook and Twitter – Sent in by Purplerose

1. Mr. Perk – It is easier to unfollow someone than to unfriend them.
2. No name – That my “friends” don’t really like me pala. I see pic of them going out many times, but I was never invited to any of their gimiks.
3. No name – I learn who my real friends are. Real friends contact me on my bday. The ones who rely on FB reminders aren’t my real friends.
4. Marioh Caryo – I learned that we all need attention.
5. Gorgeous Bitch – I learned to censor my status updates if clients or bosses are added as friends.
6. Lockon Stratos – Hindi porke nakasulat sa profile, totoo.
7. Doc Mia – FB can singlehandedly start or end a romance.
8. Chifunk – When my fiancee and I split up, I learned that many of her friends and relatives hated me since they immediately deleted me on their accounts and “liked” her change in status to “single”. Too bad for them, nagkabalikan kami.
9. Toiletots – I learned this from FB: “A bunch of people get SARS, and everyone wants to wear a mask. A million people have AIDS, yet few want to wear condoms.”
10. ColonelPogi – That some cute little kids back who were your kababata in the province are now sluts who post nasty photos of themselves online.
11. Marcus – That the smartest kid in class is now a priest, and the most quiet kid now works for NASA.
12. No name – That whatever you post on FB can be used against you in a court of law.
13. Lidagat – If you unfriend an in-law on FB, prepare for World War 3.
14. Eroflux – Adding your mom on FB is a disaster waiting to happen.
15. Uber Vamp – Bitchy tweets get more reactions than inspirational ones.
16. Lady Vamp Kaye – I learned from Farmville na ang magtanim pala ay di biro…
17. Acer – That a really masculine classmate is now a tranny.
18. Mr. Miser – That most of my “friends” on FB are not really my friends.
19. Dru – Good-looking people don’t care about their profile pics. Yung mga pangit lang ang talagang nage-effort.
20. Mike – I learned from FB that my wife is an office flirt.
21. Starbuko – If you’re dating 2 girls, delete your FB account. Because they will tag you in their photos.
22. Dennis Pinch – I learned that FB is the best and fastest way to invite people to an event.
23. Mister Miser – That FB can be a great tool for showing off your accomplishments to all your now-misearble ex-classmates who bullied you.
24. Mr. Hardrock Abs – Nagiging sweet ang jowa ko pag nagpaparinig ako sa FB status ko.
25. Dru – If you want to know if a guy is gay or not, read his profile.
26. Allaninski – Ashton Kutcher and Ellen DeGeneres have more twitter followers than the entire population of Ireland, Norway and Panama.
27. No name – That your ex still isn’t over you if she won’t add you as a friend.
28. Sumi – That girls who bullied you in HS forget what they did to you and actually have the nerve to still try to add you as a friend.
29. Oscar Dela Hopia – Stay away from Twitter and FB right before watching finales of American Idol or Amazing Race if you don’t want to see spoilers.
30. PurpleRose – Even if your tweet is private, if one of your followers RT it, it becomes public.
31. Ang Munggo – Not very many people are as interested in your thoughts or your life as you hoped.

Ode To Rain

ODE TO RAIN

Hala…lagot

Ako’y nababagot

Kaya gagawa ng tula

Sa puso magmumula

—

Nanonood ako ng news

Habang umiinom ng juice

Ibinalita ni Connie Sison

Na nandito na ang rainy season

—

Ayoko nang ma-wet

Mulo ulo hanggang puwet

But how could I forget

My umbrella, packing shet

—

Nanginginig ang lips

Kasi basa nanaman ang brips

Giniginaw ang balls

Habang namamasyal sa malls

—

Lagi na lang may flood

Nakaka-boil ng blood

Walang masakyang jeep

Kasi baha ay betlog-deep

—

At dahil sobrang trapik

Kawawa ang mga adik

Sa party at sa gimik

Ang ali mall ay tahimik

—

At nung ako ay magpa-park

Nakita ko ang Noah’s Ark

Mga hayup dala-dalawa

Boy at girl para mag-asawa

—

Soaking wet ang aking socks

Na isinuot ko with my crocs

Nasira ang aking japorm

Dahil sa buwisit na storm

—

Kaya wag na kayong pasaway

Makinig sa inyong mga nanay

Kapag typhoon signal number is high

mag-stay nalang kayo sa bahay

Solenn Heussaff And Temptation Island

It was so weird! Delle and I were just talking about Solenn earlier this morning, when suddenly, right after our show, we find out she’s passing by the RX studios to drop off her debut CD! To be honest we were all awed by how stunning she looked! Incredible woman, Solenn is! Then she was telling us that she just wrapped up filming the remake of Temptation Island! I didn’t even know they were remaking it! For those who don’t know the movie, it’s a cult classic considered by many as the gayest movie ever filmed. Its popularity peaked way after it was shown in the cinemas. Word of mouth, plus VHS tapes passed on from one person to another gave this camp classic a second wind that outpaced its first. For the uninitiated, here’s a crash course:

Watching it is a bizarre experience. It was one inadvertently funny line after another. So how will the remake fare? Here’s the trailer:

I love how they filtered the movie through sepia tones, giving it that old movie feel. I don’t know though how it would translate now that they got A-listers to play the roles. Remember, most of what made the original funny was the fact that most of the actresses had no idea just how funny they were! Them not trying to be funny made it so funny! The awkward delivery of the English lines were hilarious! But now, with such inggleseras like Solenn, Heart and Lovi, will the lines have the same punch? I guess if it was more of a tongue-in-cheek homage or a parody of the original, more than it is a serious attempt to recreate the original, then  it could work. I loved the last part though, with the chicken. I especially LOL’ed when Marian said “chicken keri!” It’s promising, I really hope it delivers!

“I Love…Cats.”

Would you date her?

The Top Ten Ways To Complete The Statement: “Love Is…”

Who knows what the crap love is, right? But the struggle to define it can be a fun, enlightening exercise for everyone. Love is for you, what your experience has taught you. For some love is a many splendored thing, while for others, love is a pile of horsesh*t. The safest definition I guess, is that love is relative.

November 26, 2009 → The Top Ten Ways To Complete The Statement: “Love Is…”

1. Lockon Stratos – Love is being in a candy store, but wanting only your favorite gummy bear.
2. No name – Love is an injection, below the midsection, with affection, without objection.
3. Mr. Miser – Love is the biggest enemy of many friendships.
4. Abernathy – Love is like water: it gives life, but too much will drown you.
5. Eien17 – Love is tampering with the future.
6. Mortalez – Love is born with its twin: pain.
7. Stephase – Love is a decision you make everyday.
8. Mr. Perk – Love is fighting even though you know from the start that you’ll never win.
9. No name – Love is when you see a solo picture, only to later realize you were looking at a group photo.
10. Tot Gaga – Love is working your ass off, then handing over your paycheck to your wife.
11. Tunog – Love is like a raging flood, it will flow where it wants to.
12. Aenthin – Love is when you tell a guys you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.
13. Yen – Love is a pain in the ass and a hole in the heart.
14. No name – When you’re willing to give up the balat ng Chicken Joy for her.
15. (oBaDiaH) – Love is where joy and sacrifice meet.
16. Maldito and Bluefeather09 – Love is friendship set on fire.
17. No name – Love is gentle, love is kind. Love is slowly losing your mind.
18. Eien17, Acer, Randy Jackstone and YñaKì – From Mark Twain: Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.
19. EnigmaticJehn – Love is knowing when to hang on and when to let go.
20. Czarovic – Love is easy to get but hard to forget.
21. Young Indy – Love is in the dictionary, but not in my vocabulary.
22. KiD BuKid and Cheesechalk – Love is sitting together in the middle of a bench, when there’s plenty of room on either side.
23. No name – Love is getting it up for the same woman even after she gets old, saggy and wrinkly.
24. Nobody’s Juliet – Love is a disease, because you always end up in bed.
25. Eien17 – Love is just a word…until someone comes along to give it meaning.
26. Mommy Kresha – Love is like talaba. Patay na kumakapit pa.
27. YñaKì – Love is getting stupid together.
28. Mondster – Love is word too strong to be uttered early, but too beautiful to say too late.

Father’s Day 2011

To anyone who has a dad, who is a dad, or who has someone who took on the role of a dad, to all the dads and “dads” out there, Happy Father’s Day! Traditionally, the role of the mother has been significantly more celebrated than that of the father. true, the role as provider is equally essential as that of the nurturer, but parenting has been mainly romanticized more greatly when seen through the eyes of a mother. Mother’s Day is much more celebrated than Father’s Day and understandably so, but for many people,  our dads have been the pillar around which the family finds its strength. When my dad died, the vacuum he left was gaping and seemingly unfillable. Nobody dared to fill such big shoes. He was the one that made things okay, even if things weren’t okay. I guess just having him there made things a little “better”. When he left, it was emotional anarchy, every man for himself. It’s like a pack of dogs who finds itself without a pack leader. No struggle for leadership, because no one wanted it. We found independence eventually, finding a way to survive without him, but the gap was never filled; we just found a way to work around the abyss. Father’s Day is always bittersweet for me, because it usually follows my birthday. And my father passed away 5 days after my birthday, on June 22, 1996. So those 3 days, my birthday, Father’s Day and my dad’s death anniversary, often come is quick succession, so I often find myself wistful around these times. Some days I wish I were a dad, so I could give to my kid what my dad gave to me. But some days I’m relieved that I’m not, too scared to mess up a life with my shortcomings. So to all dads out there, my dad (wherever he may be), my brother, my brothers-in-law, my friends and relatives and to all you dads out there, Happy Father’s Day! You’re the less celebrated parent, but know that we love you! Whether you’re the silent rock or the iron fist in the family, you’re an integral part of what everyone needs in a family unit. You may not hear it as often as the moms, but we love you!!!