The reason I love dogs infinitely more than humans is the lack of complications. I’ve had it up to my neck in complicated people and I’m sick as hell of them! So it’s a great relief to just be in the company of simple creatures, with simple needs, and simple emotions. So there are many things you can tell man’s best friend that you cannot to his better half. Or else.
October 16, 2009 → The Top Ten Things You Can Say To Your Dog, But Not Your Wife – Sent in by Feeder
Homer Singson – “You’re mom’s a bigger bitch than you are!”
Cool Prof/Mr. Perk – “Play dead. Stay.”
Needles – “Sana magaganda anak mo. May buyer na ko eh.”
Shiemar – “Wala ka talagang breeding!”
Zero Cool 25 – “Ano ba yan, ang haba ng buhok mo sa puwet!”
Mardig – “You’re getting fatter every day.”
Pink Robot and titaMaggi – “Shut up, bitch!”
Chefchefan – “Back into your cage!”
No name – “In heat ka nanaman? Sige, bukas ipakakasta kita sa kapitbahay.”
Fortunato – “Stop sniffing kumpare’s puwet!”
Chefchefan – “Dahil ang ingay mo, itatali kita dito sa labas.”
Dukot – (to the driver) “Paliguan mo nga ‘to, ang panghi na eh.”
6th Sick Sheik – “Great, now I have 2 bitches: you AND your mom.”
RVincent – “Ano, dog style nanaman?”
KiD BuKid – “You’re half Bulldog and half Shih Tzu. That makes you Bull Shiht.
Ugly Kid Joey – (to the doctor) “Can we put her to sleep?”
Abernathy – “Don’t bite, just lick…”
KiD BuKid – “Buntis ka nanaman?!? Sino naman kaya ang tatay niyan?”
Melsqui – “How many times do I have to tell you not to poop on the carpet?”
Beowulf Teacher – “If you behave, I’ll let you chew on this big bone.”
Specialist – “Stay. Stay here at home while I go out drinking with my friends.”
Greg – “I’m the boss in THIS house!”
Rockista – “That’s what I like about you, always on all fours.”
Harvard Grad – “And who said you can sit on my chair? Get off, you bitch!”
I know his story has already been bled dry in the media, but there’s something about his story that really hit home for me. It’s safe to say that I already know when a segment in American Idol is about to pull the emotional strings like a puppeteer would his marionette. The sappy maudlin melody comes in, the camera shots are in slow motion, and you know they’re about to highlight a part of the contestant’s story to tug at your heart strings. Maybe it’s a sick baby or relative, or a rejected child out for his parent’s approval, or a dead loved one, anything at all to elicit a tear or two. Although this segment had all the hallmarks of the usual Idol sob story, something about Chris’ story rang genuinely clarion. Here was the guy walking the walk even before he had the chance to talk the talk. Everyone makes their wedding vows with such determination and conviction, only to flout some of the most basic like fidelity, for instance. And here comes a guy who stood by his girl, even if on the surface, she’s but a shell of her former self. Their ordeal is tough to watch in a less than 5 minute segment, but these people are permanent residents in the story we merely visited.
Isn’t this what we’re all looking for? Stripped of the romance and the fairytale embellishments and the wine and roses, you look for someone who’d walk down the road of life with you. Not just in those grand gestures, but in the everyday grind, and especially during the moments of ugliness and despair. They showed a video of his proposal to her (I think she worked for Starbucks) with videos and lights flashing from cameras. Nice, right? But he was also there for her when no one was there to witness, to celebrate, to commiserate. I’m sure there were many times when it was just him and her, or at least what seemed like what was left of her, and he stayed.
When old couples say that the fiery storm of passion will eventually die and will be replaced instead by much smaller, much quieter steady flame, many singles protest, insisting they want a relationship that will rage on for the rest of their union. It’s hard to explain how it’s not the same, but it’s not necessarily less. Arguably it’s superior on many counts. Ask your parents (if they’re in a successful long-term marriage) or any couple who’ve survived the ravages of the years, and you’ll get the same sentiment. It’s this quiet simmer that makes you stay when all the attractive raiment have been stripped away, when all is left is the barest of souls, the very essence of the person you’ve chosen to love. So it wouldn’t matter if they’re older, or uglier, or fatter, or sick, or disabled, or a mere shadow of their former glorious selves, it doesn’t matter because what you love is beyond reach of the unkind years. It would be untouched by age or disease.
It makes me wax philosophical because he lives what many merely aspire for. We get to eat popcorn as we watch his tale like a movie, and when it’s done, we go back to our lives, none the worse for wear. They on the other hand, don’t get to leave; they are the movie. And when Chris finally sang his audition piece, it was the coup de grace. He sang The Script’s “Breakeven”. Of course the song was about how, in break-ups, hearts don’t break even. But Chris singing it brings it to a whole new level. In their situation, their hearts don’t break even as well. His heart breaks seeing what his loved one is going through. His heart breaks not knowing if he’ll ever get back the version of the girl he’s loved with all his heart. His heart breaks choosing between another less complicated life and staying because he can’t leave when she needs him the most. Her heart breaks putting her man through all this. Her heart breaks seeing the difficulty he’s going though as he puts up with challenges in her life. Her heart breaks thinking if she’s depriving him of a happier life elsewhere.
You can tell it hit a raw nerve. It’s the aspect of love at it’s most unattractive, but at the same time it’s love at it’s most unadulterated. I don’t know if Chris will coast to the finals on the wings of his story, but his tale will stick with me for a long time. If I can do that for someone, or if I’ve found someone who’ll do that for me, I’d consider myself mighty blessed.
Why are songs so much more potent when you’re heartbroken? I remember, the songs I still consider my all-time favorites are the songs from the time I first fell in love, back in college. Now that I’m in a much better place, I don’t get attached as much to songs or their lyrics. I still love listening to them, but I don’t cling to them like I used to, with songs like “Nothing Compares 2 U”, “It Must’ve Been Love”, “Damn, I Wish I was Your Lover”, and “Love, Thy Will Be Done”. Those were the days…
October 15, 2009 → The Top Ten Song Lyrics That Describe Your Life – Sent in by: Specialist
Peejay – “Whoever said it’s impossible to miss what you never had, never almost had you.”
No name – “So typical, love leads to isolation.”
No name – “I’m the one who left you, but you’re the one who’s fine without me.”
No name – “You’re just a sad song with nothing to say.”
No name – “Why can’t I be as lucky as those other people are? I guess I must be wishing on someone else’s star.”
Sunset2Sunrise – “My heart can’t possibly break when it wasn’t even whole to start with.”
No name – “Softly, gently, I will let you down. Cause I don’t love you in the same way now. I can hold you, but not with lover’s arms. Cause you are more of a brother to me now.”
No name – “I’m not like the girls that you’ve known, but I believe I’m worth coming home to.”
Bexkykelly – “I’m just your average everyday sane psycho supergoddess.”
No name – “Every little bit hurts, every night I cry, every night I sigh, every night I wonder why.”
Fire Chowder – “Lonely won’t leave me alone.”
Sostarquality – “I don’t think I want this anymore. Finally I know I deserve better after all. I’ll never let another teardrop fall.”
Kathypie_05 – “I only want you to be happy even if it’s not with me. Maybe one day you’ll open up your eyes and you’ll see.”
Suplada MD – “I’m ready this time. I know that I’m no longer undecided.”
No name – “There’s got to be more to life than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me.”
Pluto – “It’s a damn cold night, trying to figure out this life, will you take me by the hand take me somewhere new, I don’t know who you are but I’m with you.”
Mameha – “Every night she cries herself to sleep asking why does this always happen to me, why does every moment have to be so hard.”
Kikhai – “If you want me to go, then say it. If you want me to stay then show it.”
Morrigan – “Now waking up is hard to do, sleeping is impossible too, everything’s reminding me of you, what can I do?”
RB – “I’m just a kid and life is a nightmare.”
Morrigan – “Can’t you see that for worse or for better, we’re better together, please come back home. No don’t say that you’re sorry and I won’t say I told you so.”
Savina – “Go and tell your friends that I’m obsessive & crazy, that’s fine. I’ll tell mine you’re gay.”
Mrs. Alpha – “Did you think that I would cry on the phone? Do you know what it feels like being alone? I’ll find someone new.”
Songbird With A Bird – “How could you give your love to someone else, and share your dreams with me?”
Porkie – “What am I supposed to do when the best part of me is always you? What am I supposed to say when I’m all choked up and you’re okay?
No name – “I must unlearn you, pretend you don’t exist.”
Taylor – “I am the one trying to be good wanting to be bad.”
Lovey Dubby – “Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.”
Badus MD – “I’m under repair, I’m not together but I’m getting there.”
Gimikera – “Nobody said it was easy, it’s such a shame for us to part. Nobody said it was easy, No one ever said it would be this hard.”
Anto – “Each morning I get up I die a little. Can barely stand on my feet take a look in the mirror and cry, ‘Lord what you doing to me?’”
Schwartz – “Blow the candles out, looks like a solo tonight. I’m beginning to see the light. But I think I’ll be alright.”
Ouanne – “It’s meeting the man of my dreams and then meeting his beautiful wife. Isn’t it ironic?”
Pinky Vi – “Don’t let me close one more door, I don’t wanna hurt anymore. Stay in my arms if you dare.”
Riskbreaker – “Hey dad look at me. Think back and talk to me. Did I grow up according to plan?”
Emmanuel Mateo – “Don’t waste your whole life trying to get back what was taken away.”
No name – “I’m not the easiest person to love. I’m often the one who let’s things go unresolved. Yet you choose to be on the side of me.”
Reichen – “And if I could see a single bird…WHAT A JOY!!!”
Not wanting to take Zoloft to lift my sagging mood, I decided to trawl the internet for cute stuff to cheer me up. These surely did the job:
Hey Soul Sister
Not all kids are cute. This is a fact of life that seems to escape many parents who actually think their kids are cute when in fact they’re about as adorable as a bucket of phlegm. But this kid is REALLY cute. If you want the girl you’re wooing to say yes to you, hire this kid to sing this for her.
Puffy Puppy
Before I got Siam, I had my sights set on getting a Pomeranian, for these obvious reasons. They are sooo cute. Like balls of fluff with feet. I wanted one just like this. Who knows, if madness strikes once more, I just might get us a 6th dog.
Kitty Hugs Teddy Bear
Awww…nothing like a video of a clingy pussy to make my day. My cats are hardly this cuddly. Ours are more like feral hunters than stuffed toys. I’m actually looking for a toy mouse that runs fast to give my tigers a good hunt.
And…to save the cutest of them all…
it’s not a video but a picture….
the cutest thing I have EVER seen…
sooo cute…
are you ready?
(Photo courtesy of theberry.com. Check out original image HERE.)
It’s not uncommon now to find Pinoys who are in relationships with people from other nationalities. Mix marriages/relationships are now unsurprising, unlike maybe just a mere 2 or 3 decades ago when having a non-Pinoy boyfriend or girlfriend would raise so many eyebrows. So let’s focus on what makes Pinoys (or Pinays) the best lovers EVER.
October 12, 2009 → The Top Ten Reasons Why Pinoys Make The Best Lovers – Sent in by Marioh Caryo
No name – Mas okay ang mga Pinoy kasi yung saging nila, “talop” na.
No name – Kahit ilang beses mo na binasted, tuloy pa rin ang ligaw at padala ng regalo.
Maldito – Ang Pinoy mabilis labasan…ng emosyon, unlike foreigners na insensitive.
No name – I don’t want to “park” my “car” in a “garage” that is just wiped, and not washed with soap!
No name – Ang Pinoy lang ang sanay sa sundot hatid.
Bombai – Ang kasabihan noong panahon ng gera, pag may dumating na Hapon, “DAPA!” Ngayon, may may dumating na Hapon, “TIHAYA!”
Maximo – Pag brownout, magaling gumawa ng baby.
Maldito – Sa Pinoy, walang aray. Sa foreigner, ulo palang, good luck na! Ibig sabihin, mas madaling mauntog ang matatangkad na foreigner.
Young Indy – Ang Pinoy damang-dama mo ang pagmamahal kasi hindi mahilig magsuot ng kapote.
Young Indy – Ang Pinoy pag pinawisan, ANG HOT! Pag foreigner pinawisan, ANGHIT!
Blitzkrieg and Infrared – Panalo ang mga lalaking Bisaya, kasi matigas ang dila.
Spoofy – Sa Pilipinas, ang turing sa asawang lalaki, panganay.
McDenzel – MAIKLI man ang pasensiya, MATIGAS naman ang paninindigan.
Cheyenne – Pinays don’t have bushy armpits like foreign women.
Maldito – Diba sa pagkain mas masarap kainin yung hindi na kailangang balatan?
Spoofy – Pag Feb 14, puno ang mga motels. Pag Feb 15, puno ulit, pero puro mga kabit naman.
No name – Pinoys are better because their mostly hairless. Yung foreigners may chest hair sa puwet.
No name – My Pinoy exes always spent for EVERYTHING. My boyfriend now, a German, always asks me when it will be my turn to pay for our dates.
Loi Pogi – The best talaga ang Pinoy lovers. Pero the worst ang mga Pinoy na biyenan.
Curt Smith – Ang Pinoy tamang-tama ang size, bite size, di ka maduduwal.
Maldito and Blitzkrieg – Sweet ang Pinoy, tayo lang ang may anniversary, monthsary, daysary at hoursary.
No name – Pinoys smell neutral. Americans smell like cheddar, Europeans smell like bleu cheese, and Indians smell like cumin.
Ivy – Aanhin mo ang malaki kung hindi naman matigas?
Mang Jose and West Ice Toshiba – Ang Japanese di alam ang concept ng lambing at karinyo, di tulad ng Pinoy.
Bombai – Magaling ang Pinay kasi sanay sa WIWI lang ang pahinga. Or in some cases, DIGHAY lang ang pahinga.
Hahaha ang galing ni Ma’am! Talented! Parang nalingat ka lang…BULAGA…may condom ka na! Hahaha! Oh well, it was on YouTube so I figured it’s safe to post. I swear, watching this really made my day. I just didn’t think our health workers were so…uhm…progressive in their techniques in informing those in the “entertainment” industry. And looking at her, you wouldn’t think she’d be so nonchalant about demonstrating techniques of the “job”. Like nooneenoo, wala lang, let me put this condom in my mouth and sheath a wooden erect penis. Panalo.
Here’s the official word on what this is from YouTube:
“Angeles City, Philippines – From being identified in the 2003 IHBSS as the number one site for HIV infection, Angeles City is no longer in the top three despite being the “entertainment capital of the Philippines.”
The secret: strict monitoring of those involved in the “entertainment” industry and creativity. Here, a local health worker demonstrates a technique on how to get around the usually difficult negotiation process between clients and sex workers over condom use. — Video taken by Ana Santos for Newsbreak
The video is part of a SPECIAL REPORT series by Ana Santos produced under the Maggie de Pano Fund for Investigative Reporting on Health. The Fund, which is managed by Newsbreak, is funded through a grant from Macare Medicals, Inc.”
This is our “toy” poodle Siam as hoisted aloft by our yaya, who is quite big-boned herself (don’t tell her I said that!). So for Siam to dwarf her hefty proportions is saying a lot. So like our yaya, our dog seems to have some weight issues. Siam is supposed to be a toy poodle, which by definition means it’s the smallest of the 3 poodle breeds. There’s the Standard Poodle (which is as big as a Retriever), the Miniature Poodle (which is the mid-sized version) and the Toy Poodle, which is supposed to be tiny. When we got Siam, he was this tiny bundle of wool, like a lost little lamb looking forlornly for his Bo Peep. He practically fit in one hand. Then, as the days pass, he started growing at a rate that really scared me. For a while there I seriously thought we got ourselves a Standard Poodle. But our trusty vet assured me that Siam is most likely not a Standard Poodle, but he isn’t a Toy Poodle either. It’s safe to say that he’s a Miniature Poodle, with a final size that’s probably a bit smaller than a Beagle.
These photos were taken about a month ago, so you can imagine how big he’s gotten since. As of last weighing, he was 10 pounds, which is not really that heavy, but he’s huge for a 4-month old puppy. He’s much lighter than his size would betray. As for my problems with Siam, I would have to reserve that for a separate post. Siam has been a major life lesson for me. I thought I was just getting a dog, I didn’t know that I was getting much more than I bargained for. For now, I just wanted to share how my Toy Poodle is so not one.
Weirdly, my answer was to take multiple showers. I’d run in place, go walking, bake in a makeshift sauna under my blanket with a blow dryer, anything to make me sweat so I could take another shower. It’s almost as if I can wash away all the hurt. Of course it didn’t work. What were your?
October 9, 2009 → The Top Ten Unusual Ways To Mend A Broken Heart – Sent in by: Trifler-No-More
Tyroncaliente – I wrote a 3000-word story overnight in which she was the villain. It got published. Hell hath no fury like a writer scorned!
TwistedSaint – I look in the mirror ever morning and chant: “I’m beautiful! I deserve better! I’m a phoenix!”
Azenith – Point your pen at him and shout: “Avada Kedavra!”
RVincent – For men, beating the stick. And for women, flicking the bean.
Graciana – Me, I watch Koreanovelas to find a new dream to dream.
Mr. Isko – I went to a deserted beach and shouted her name. It reminded me of how much we shouted at each other while we were together.
Maude – I watched the last full show every night for a month or two. By the time I get home, I’m too sleepy to think of anything else.
Bilogsikath – With every major heartaches I had, I always interpret it in tattoos & put them in the most sensitive part of my body. Now I have 6 of them.
Remorawr and Twylyt – I get a packet of 3-in-1 coffee and I try to separate the coffee from the sugar from the creamer granules.
Yen – I go a beach here in Batangas, write his name in the sand, and watch the waves erase it slowly.
Merski – I go to a beach, get a rock, whisper all my heartaches into it, then throw it as far as a can.
Faiwypwintheth – To get over someone, get under someone new.
Shinobi – I hung out with a friend who had a worse break-up. After a day with her, I felt better about my situation.
Calooney – Pag wala ka nang bf, mag FB ka nalang!
No name – I hear mass in Quiapo church. It reminds me of how many people are lonely and praying for some comfort.
TwistdSaint and YñaKì – Ang lunas sa heartbreak ay matatagpuan sa Quezon Ave.
Glad-Jay-Tor – Post all her ugliest pictures on Facebook.
Smitten – I got a full body wax.
Randy Jackstone – Do what my friend did and held a funeral. After breaking up with her bf, she put all of what he gave her in a shoebox & buried it. Some gave eulogies.
RC and Cess – My friend input the name GOD in his phone with the number 777 and would text that number everytime he needs to vent.
Mr. Perk – I bought a 1000-piece glow in the dark jigsaw puzzle and I finished it in the dark for 36 hours.
Euge – Staying on the road, driving, not knowing where I’m going.
Remorawr – Try and find all the numbers of pi.
DJ Gambit – Knowing that none my ex’s next relationships lasted really helped a lot.
Meinard – I try to befriend the person that my ex chose over me and get close with him eventually.
OoNgaNaman – I drink a venti espresso.
Humdinger – Kinu-kuwento ko lahat ng hinaing ko dun sa friend ko na bingi.
Eya – When my dad died, we put his cellphone in his coffin with him. Whenever I’m sad, I text him everything that’s bugging me. I know he won’t answer, but it’s a comfort knowing I can text him anytime.
When we were in Singapore, we heard of the legend of the Merlion, a mysterious beast that supposedly haunts many tourists’ photos while in the Lion City. This hideous creature has scared off many possible tourists, for fear of being stalked and eventually photo-bombed by this fiendish rascal. The government of Singapore has launched an all-out search and war against this nefarious threat to the city’s tourist industry. When the whole RX staff was in Singapore a couple of weeks back, it was the height of the Merlion’s attack. Many tourists were afraid to come out of their hotels. The city streets were practically deserted. We were warned by the Philippine Embassy to stay away, but we risked it anyway. Here are a couple of photos from Reuters and the Associated Press that ALLEGEDLY shows proof that such a diabolical abomination exists. Photography experts are divided on the authenticity of the photographs. WARNING: NSFW. The following photos are not for the weak at heart. Also not for people easily offended. Stop reading now and look away if you’re pregnant, if you have a heart condition, or if easily nauseated. Contains graphic images not for the faint at heart. For matured audiences only. Proceed only if 18 and above. You have been warned:
Okay, I’m so sorry I’m going all Apple d’ Apps on you, but this is the one thing that’s been consuming my every waking hour for the past 3 days. My attention span on apps has always been quite short. I have yet to find the type of app that really retains my interest for more than a week at the most. You know how there are different types of apps right? I’ve always wondered what type of app I’d really like. There are the word apps like Text Twist, the puzzle apps like Finger Physics, the matching apps like Bejeweled, the fighting apps, the Mario-type apps, and hundreds more. Even current favorites like Fruit Ninja, Angry Birds and Cut The Rope would pique my curiosity for the first few hours of play, then I’d lose interest eventually.
Then came Pocket Frogs. Okay fine, I edited a bit. It actually started with a REALLY girly app called Bloomies. I red-facedly admit that this actually got me hooked first. I read good reviews and so I bought it and at first it looked really stupid. But once I started getting the buds to bloom and I started purchasing more bees, and I was upgrading my beehive and going up the levels, before I knew it I was checking in on my Bloomies every hour, just to water them, or check if any new buds bloomed, or if I have enough coins to make a new purchase. Of course I had to hide my little “visits” to my private garden, my girly inner sanctum of cutesy blooms. I wouldn’t know how to explain in case anyone took a peek at my iPhone screen and see those cartoon flowers that would make Hello Kitty look butch in comparison. I admit, it made me happy. The tinkle of the rain clouds when you water them and the giggle each Bloomie makes after you water them, the dainty background music, the chime-like sound the flowers make when their nectar is ready to be harvested…it just brings me to a happy place.
Then, last Sunday, I was confessing my guilty pleasure to Delle’s brother Mars, and he told me that he plays something similar, but manlier, Pocket Frogs. I’ve heard of it, but I heard it was similar to those FarmVille, FishVille, NovaVille, and whateverville else there was of that type of game, and I hadn’t the faintest idea what it was. He said it’s pretty much like my Bloomies, only instead of flowers, you had frogs. So I downloaded it, and the next day, I had 2 frogs jumping about on the screen. I had NO IDEA what the hell that was. Then I started playing around, exploring the menu, what each button does, and one by one, I discovered the joys of the frogs in their habitats or in the pond. Before long, I was way more into the Pocket Frogs than I was into my Bloomies. But of course I still tend my garden, and I plan every bit much to be the great gardener that I know I can be, but now the blooms have a competitor when it comes to my down time. I now ferry between the garden and the pond to check on my babies, just to make sure they’re okay. Who would’ve thought, that of all the apps out there, I’d gravitate towards the apps that take so long to play? I have a short attention span, that’s why I’m surprised that I’d end up hooked on these apps.
