My “Date” With KC Concepcion

Earlier this evening, I couldn’t believe how tired I was.  I was pooped. Bushed.  I could hardly keep my eyes open.  After boardwork at 6-10am, I went straight to a hosting gig that went from 2-6pm.  Then I was supposed to meet up with friends for dinner at 8pm, so I was hanging on to consciousness by a thread, as I drank some iced latte in Starbucks to augment my bloodstream with some much-needed caffeine.  Then, I heard a laugh than sounded peculiarly like Sharon Cuneta…but different.  I turned my head and I realized KC Concepcion was sitting a mere 2 tables away from me!  I was so starstruck!  I wouldn’t say I’m a fan, because I’m not really familiar with her body of work, but I do find her one of the most luminous personalities in showbiz, and seeing her really blows you away.  I couldn’t get over it, I was wide awake by this time, so I started tweeting about it:

Tweet #1: omg its kc concepcion! Nagising ako bigla! Waaah gusto ko magpa picture! Hahaha but im shy! Kc, wacky, wacky! about 4 hours ago via Mobile Web

Tweet #2: Naku, she looked my way! Baka akala niya ako si gabby. I dont blame her, i get that gabby/chico confusion thing. Kainis nga eh… about 4 hours ago via Mobile Web

Tweet #3: dear kc, alis na me. You had your chance, but you blew it. I have to go. Bibili pa ko ng downy. Kasi amoy ipis punda namin. about 4 hours ago via Mobile Web

Then, some of the people following both me and KC started retweeting what I tweeted to KC’s account! I was mortified!!!  What if she happened to read some of her tweets and realizes that I was the creepy guy in the next table tweeting about her?  Then, given that I was slipping in and out of consciousness out of sheer fatigue, my grasp on reality tenuous at best, I started imagining the following scenario (cue fantasy music and sfx):

KC reads her Twitter account and realizes that the handsome young man in the next table was me.  She stands up, gingerly approaches me, then says shyly:

KC: “Excuse me, I really thought you were my dad…only a younger, more mestizo version.  And more ruggedly handsome…”

Chico: “I know, right?”

KC: “I was wondering, if I may be so brazen, can I add you on Facebook?”

Chico: “I guess, whatever floats your boat.”

KC: “And no offense, but you also kinda look like my rumored paramour…you might know him…Piolo?”

Chico: “Shut up! I get that all the time!”

Then, she’d insist on buying me an iPad and a Canon S95 as tokens of our new friendship.

Of course, my bubble was abruptly popped when the subject of my reverie upped and left with her friend.  And she didn’t even say goodbye.

The Top Ten Things You Should Not Say During A Party

I was never into parties. As a teenager in the 80′s, i was the awkward-looking wallflower.  And when we went to a punk/new wave party, not having metal or any hardware in my outfit, I wrapped a dogchain around my waist, complete with leather strap handle.  My friends wouldn’t come near me with a 10-foot pole.  I guess I was the type of person who’d say one of these statements.

August 28, 2009 → The Top Ten Things You Should Not Say During A Party – Sent in by: Hannah Banana/Abernathy

1. Paul Ignatius – (true story) At an album launch after party at a bar in Timog, the tactless host joked: “Wow, ang daming tao! Ganitong-ganito yung sa Ozone!”
2. Ang Manunusok – (at a pool party) “Wooh! Wet na wet na ko!”
3. Laham – “Ako ang magbo-blow! Magaling ako mag-blow!”
4. Chatsworth – (when taking pictures) “Huwacky! Huwacky!”
5. Janaque – “Sorry folks, this is a no-alcohol party!”
6. Poljeffrey – “O, boys on the left, girls on the right. No mixing!”
7. TheFireBelow – (at a wine and cheese party) “Ano?!? Walang kanin at ulam?”
8. Sooperpanduh – (at a baby shower) “So who’s the daddy this time?”
9. Sooperpanduh – (after you use the toilet) “I think you’ll need a plunger…”
10. Pia Pong Pies – “Panis ang pansit! Panis ang pansit! Panis ang panseeeeeetttttt!!!!!!!”
11. Clayton Boy Toy – (during a pool party) Kid: “Yaya, poo-poo!”
12. Jud_enz – “May dala na akong mga Tupperware para sa take home!”
13. Oscar Dela Hopia – (during a stag party) “Raid! Raid!”
14. Humdinger – (at a party at Embassy) “Mga ‘tol, nagbebenta ako ng yosi at tubig kung gusto niyo, ha?”
15. Greg – “Drugs! Drugs kayo diyan!”
16. Abdula – (during a despedida) “Mag-ingat ka ha, baka mag-crash yung eroplano mo!”
17. Duckie – (during a wedding reception) “Congrats on your FIRST wedding!”
18. Bronson – (to the groom at the reception) – “Hoy bakla, pangatawanan mo itetch ha!”
19. Gracia – (if you’re the host) “Hanggang isang balik lang ha!”
20. Your Highness – “Welcome, to the siyokeng siyokoy pool party!”
21. Juggernaut – (during body shots) “Iwasan mo yung buni…”
22. Gooey Kablooey – “Puwede mag-take home?”
23. Jonpogi – (during a stag party) Guest: “Ang pangit naman ng pokpok na kinuha niyo!” Groom: “Pare, fiancee ko yan…”
24. Dennis Pinch – (during a stag party) “Group hug!!!”
25. Neodontin – “May LBM daw yung caterer…”

Cebu Pacific Dancing Flight Attendants

I’m sure by now you’ve seen this video that’s gone viral overnight:

This wasn’t even officially released by Cebu Pacific; it was just uploaded by a passenger who witnessed the trial run.  Within days, it was on most websites, it was tweeted by no less than Ryan Seacrest, featured by CNN, and in most international newspaper online sites.  This isn’t even a standard practice yet.  If you ride a Cebu Pacific plane now, you probably won’t see this same routine.  But let’s see if all this attention (mostly positive) will make this a standard in all of their flights.

But if ever they do adopt this new gimmick, Cebu Pacific won’t be the first.  Most famously (or notoriously) is Southwest Airlines in the U.S.  They’ve been doing unique ways to announce the safety instructions, singing, rapping, even beatboxing:

Singing Flight Attendant

Rapping Flight Attendant

Beatboxing Flight Attendant

And then there are those airlines who have videos of the safety instructions.  Here are 2 unique safety instruction videos:

Thompson Airways Safety Video

Here’s a video I posted before.  In case you miss it, all the flight attendants are buck naked, clothed only in body paint:

Air New Zealand Safety Video

Well, do you like it better this way?  Or are you old school preferring the more formal approach?

The Top Ten Things You’ve Said Right Before, During Or Right After A Breakup

The few breakups I’ve had were mercifully short on dialogue.  I’m not one to beat a dead horse, so when it’s time to cut, I try to cut clean, and cut quick.  I don’t really see the need to analyze and deconstruct the dissolution of a union, mainly because I need to get on the next boat.  The longer we stay to discuss the post mortem, the longer I have to wait until I can pursue my future happiness.

August 25, 2009 → The Top Ten You’ve Said Right Before, During Or Right After A Breakup

1. Jerguin22 – “8 inches of sausage isn’t worth buying the whole pig.”
2. Mike And Lumina – “True love never keeps a man from his destiny.”
3. Mu-langot – This is what I told my cheating ex: “You dug your grave, now lay in it.”
4. Boknoi – “I don’t miss you anymore. I miss who you once were or at least who I thought you were.”
5. No name – “Losing you doesn’t make me any less of a person.”
6. Eatingmashin – “Ay, ang ikli pala ng ‘forever’ mo…”
7. Jerguin22 – “You don’t realize how much you love someone until they stop loving you.”
8. Ur Gurl Next Door – “Life shouldn’t end where heartaches begin.”
9. Ur Gurl Next Door – “Kung continents nga naghihiwalay, tayo pa!”
10. Mikaelo15 – “Eh di umalis ka, maghahanap nalang ako ng bakla!”
11. Jerguin22 – “If you’re crying a river, build a bridge, then get over it!”
12. Jerguin22 – “Moving on is easy, it’s what you leave behind that’s difficult.”
13. Dru – “Nobody breaks my heart and gets away with it!”
14. Purplerose – “My best revenge is to let her keep you.”
15. Desty – “I used to care, but now I take pills for that.”
16. Mr. Perk – “Bakit ka galit, diba ako naman ang iniwan mo?”
17. Young Indy – “Hindi ka madaling kalimutan, pero mahirap kang mahalin.”
18. Joanna Sas – “It’s hard to know that you’ll never remember the things that I’ll never forget.”
19. Sephulturero – “You didn’t break my heart; you broke my faith.”
20. Satine Pastel – “Let’s end this now while we’re still okay. I don’t want to hate what I used to love.”
21. Manoy Joe – “It’s not you, it’s me…okay it’s mostly you.”
22. Bonn Ryan – “Tandaan mo lang. hindi ko na ulit sinusubo ang iniluwa ko na.”
23. Kat Pasaway – “Where there is pain, there is feeling. And where there is feeling, there’s hope.”
24. No name – “There’s a reason why people from our past are not part of our future.”
25. Eien17 – “He gave me n0thng, and he t0ok it with him when he left.”
26. Eien17 – “I must abandon the life we’ve planned, for me to get to the life that’s waiting for me.”
27. No name – “I stopped being your wife when you stopped treating me like one.”
28. The Fire Below – “Is this the part where you say those words that will destroy me for life?”
29. Father Marcus – “Don’t worry, your sex tapes are safe with me…”
30. Manoy Joe – “Dear Baby: Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: YOU.”