The Top Ten Quotes Gone Wrong

A highly suggested topic for the Top Ten, we finally did it with overwhelming responses.  I guess because these wise words are supposed to inspire awe, but tweaked to make it funny instead.  It’s like making minced meat out of sacred cows.

September 14, 2009 → The Top Ten Quotes Gone Wrong – Sent in by: Poljeffrey, Astroboy, Paul Ignatius and Sasha Purse

1. “Rixi – “What you rip is what you sew.”
2. RC and Cess – “Ang taong gipit, sa 5-6 kumakapit.”
3. No_Codename – “Ang lalaking gipit, sa bading kumakapit.”
4. Cynch – “Sa hinaba-haba ng prusisyon, sa bading din ang makaka-relasyon.”
5. Oo Nga Naman – “Honesty is the worst politics.”
6. Tofi – “Walang madilim at delikadong daan kung booking ang pupuntahan.”
7. Little Boy – “Success is relative; the more the success, the more the relatives.”
8. Cheyenne – “Aanhin pa ang damo kung patay na ang adik.”
9. Paul Ignatius – “Aanhin pa nag damo kung shabu na ang uso.”
10. Arcueid – “Ang taong hindi marunong magmahal ng sariling wika, sa ‘call senner’ naglipana.”
11. Twisted Raj – “Matalino man ang bading, napeperahan pa din.”
12. Gege of Cavite – “Bato-bato sa langit, sa gym kumakandirit.”
13. Tammy Luk – “Aanhin pa ang gabi, kung wala ka namang katabi.” (the sequel) “”Anong silbi ng may katabi kung wala namang nangyayari.”
14. No name – “Why fart it and waste it when you can burp it and taste it.”
15. No name – “Lead me not into temptation…I already know the way.”
16. Febkinse – (conversation between teacher and student he flunked) Student: “Buti pa nag saging, may PUSO!” Teacher: “Buti pa nag bulalo, may UTAK!”
17. Jalet – “Dumb if you do, dumb if you don’t!”
18. Rom Bluegator – “Better delayed than departed.
19. No name – “Farting is such sweet sorrow.”
20. Overshooter – “Pangit man sa paningin, nakakabuntis pa rin.”
21. Bart Sison – “Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money, they don’t generate a lot of interest.”
22. Udattism – “Walang malayong kulangot sa mahaba na kuko.”
23. Moushou – “The truth shall set you free. But first it will piss you off.”
24. Bounce Boink – “A bird in the hand is worth every penny.”
25. KiD BuKid- “Kapag may isinuksok, ang biyenan may madudukot.”
26. Loipogi – “Aanhin mo ang gwapo, kung mas malandi pa sa iyo.”
27. Loipogi – “Do unto others…then run!”
28. Loipogi – “Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.”
29. Sasha Purse – “The roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl’s empty, and so is your head.”
30. Erick – “Roses are red, vi0lets are blue, I’m schizophrenic, and so am I.”
31. Ehem Fajardz – Roses are red, violets are blue, God made me beautiful, what happened to you?”
32. Baby Owel – I saw this slogan of a funeral service company: “If you did not take care of yourself, we’ll take care good care of you.”
33. Oscar Dela Hopia – “Pag binato ka ng bato, batuhin mo ng tinapay…na may kasamang bread knife.”
34. Maximo – “Pag nagtanim ka ng hangin, utot ang aanihin.”
35. Katrin – “First love never dies, but true love buries it alive.”
36. Diane-So-Pure – “Aanhin pa ang guwapo kung guwapo din ang gusto.”
37. Sayuri – “If at first you don’t succeed, then sky diving is not for you.”
38. SPY Shadow – “Walang matimtimang bading, sa macho dancer na gumigiling.”
39. Tarajhing Potpot – “Ang hindi marunong magmahal sa sariling jowa, sa mga bath house naglipana.”
40. Angelo – “Kung ikaw ay nag-iisa, wag mag-alala. Sa mata ng duling, hindi ka nag-iisa.”
41. Princess Lulu – “Bi now, gay later.”