The Top Ten Signs That You’re Dumb

Being not a looker, I’ve grown up making sure I wasn’t dumb as well.  I had to compensate somewhere, right?  Growing up, I was always an honor student, but the older I got, the dumber I got (or at least that’s how it felt like).  I was always at the top of my class, but the moment I was transferred to the honor section, I sweet potato-ed (nangamote ako).  It was the classic big fish in a small pond, suddenly transferred to the big pond, with even bigger fish.  Suddenly, from hotshot genius, I felt really REALLY dumb.  So like beauty, I guess “smart” and “dumb” are relative.

September 3, 2009 → The Top Ten Signs That You’re Dumb

1. KiD BuKid – If you got your girlfriend pregnant because you put your condom over your piano instead of your organ.
2. Del Almanzor – If you laugh a full week after the punchline was delivered.
3. Boknoi – Guy1: “Kumusta exam mo?” Guy2: “Puro blanko.” Guy1: “Patay!” Guy2: “Bakit?” Guy1: “Baka isipin nila, nagkopyahan tayo!”
4. Aiko – My brother was given a thermos mug. It said on the box: “Hot 1 hr, Cold 2 hrs”. He said, “Wow, after 1 hour iinit, tapos after 2 hours lalamig? Ang galing!”
5. No name – When you were told to save gas, you started farting in a jar.
6. Rikitingrikiting: Guy1: “Pangit itong sabon, ayaw bumula!” Guy2: “Tanga, eh hindi ka pa nagbabasa!” Guy1: “Mas tanga ka! Ayan o, nakalagay: ‘for dry skin’.”
7. No name – Mom: “Yung aso gutom na!” Sister: “Sige, papaliguan ko na.”
8. No name – During a spelling quiz, I asked our teacher: “Ma’am, wrong spelling wrong?”
9. No name – (A guy saw his friend type in his password) Guy1: “Ang pangit naman ng napili mong password!” Guy2: “Bakit?” Guy1: “Puro asterisk!”
10. No name – (Sa McDo) Me: “May wi-fi kayo?” Counter girl: “Ay wala po, apple fie lang.”
11. No name – Me: “Anong specialty niyo?” Waiter: “Ay wala po, puro Lipton lang.”
12. Vorvisurfan – (My friend joined a beauty contest. The Q&A went like this) Host: “Are you nervous?” Friend: “Not yet. I thank you.” (Sabay talikod)
13. Al Gore Juice – A colleague once asked the team: “Yun bang Sentral sa BSP, S or C?”
14. Incognito – While I was playing with a firecracker, my mom told me: “Pag naputulan ka ng paa, wag kang tatakbo sa kin!”
15. Isadora – When we drove to Disneyland, we saw a sign saying: “DISNEYLAND LEFT”. My cousin said: “Ay, nakaalis na daw!”
16. Jean – When bank robbers broke into the safe, the bank manager said: “Seal all exits!” Later the guards said: “Boss, nakatakas sila! Sa entrance sila lumabas eh…”
17. Chorizo Solomon – Wife 1: “Mare, subukan mong gumamit ng vibrator kapag wala si pare!” Wife 2: “Sinubukan ko na mare. Masakit sa ngipin!”
18. Maldito – Guy: “What’s your sign? I’m a Cancer.” Girl: “Uhm…I’m a Goiter?”
19. No name – A friend worked as a med tech at a public hospital. When a patient submitted a fecal specimen.my friend said: “Ate, palagyan po ng name”. The woman returned the specimen labeled: “TAE”.
20. Jerguin22 – Teacher: “Who has experienced sex with a ghost?” Student: “Ako sir!” Teacher: (shocked) “Really? You’ve had sex with a ghost?!?” Student: “Ah GHOST ba? Akala ko GOATS…”