The Top Ten Funny Comebacks

Comebacks should only be attempted by the quick-witted.  Numbskulls will end up getting hurt if they even tried.  The best comebacks are after arrogant pick-up lines or aggressive insults.  It’s like a boomerang.  You throw it, thinking it’ll hit someone, but it ends up biting you in the ass.

July 28, 2009 → The Top Ten Funny Comebacks – Sent in by Milan

1. Acid Sarcasm – (True story: Guy comes up to me in G5) Guy: “Hi, I’m Jay, 31, a lawyer, single. And you are?” Me: “Married.”
2. Angel Ring – Boy: “Where have you been all my life?” Girl: “Hiding from the likes of you.”
3. Boknoi – Boy: “Will you have lunch with me?” Girl: “I’m busy. Can I ignore you another time?”
4. No name – Boy: “Haven’t I seen you somewhere before?” Girl: “Yes, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.”
5. Greg – Boy: “If I asked you to marry me, would you?” Girl: “If I told you to go to hell, would you?”
6. Milan – Guy: “I would go to the ends of the earth for you.” Girl: “Good. Stay there.”
7. JarodKelan – Boy: “If I could re-write the alphabet I’d put U and I together.” Girl: “If I could re-write the alphabet, I’d put F and U together.”
8. The Trifler – Boy: “I know we both came to this bar looking for the same thing.” Girl: “Yeah, to pick up hot chicks!”
9. The Trifler – Boy: “I can tell you want me.” Girl: “I want you…to leave.”
10. Iceman_15 – Boy: “You’re place or mine?” Girl: “Both. You go to your place, I go to mine.”
11. RC and Cess – Boy: “I’ve been waiting for you all my life!” Girl: “Keep waiting…”
12. Astroboy – Boy: “How do you want your eggs in the morning?” Girl: “Unfertilized.”
13. Angel In Disguise – Boy: “Baril ka ba?” Girl: “Bakit, dahil ang lakas ng tama ko sa iyo?” Boy: “Hindi, kasi ang lakas ng putok mo!”
14. Mondster – Boy: “Bond, James Bond.” Girl: “Lost. Get lost.”
15. No name – Boy: “Para kang drugs.” Girl: “Bakit, kasi nakaka-adik ako?” Girl: “Hindi, kasi sinira mo buhay ko!”
16. Gossip Boy – Boy: “Can I have your number?” Girl: “It’s in the phonebook.” Boy: “But I don’t know your name!” Girl: “It’s in the phonebook too!”
17. Eleganteng Burara – Student: “Sir, buti pa ang saging, may puso, kayo wala!” Teacher: “Ah ganon? Puwes, buti pa ang bulalo may utak, ikaw wala!”
18. Carmine – Guy: “Haven’t I seen you somewhere before?” Girl: “Maybe, I’m a receptionist at an STD clinic.”
19. Joytuts – Friend1: “Kumusta na lovelife mo?” Friend2: “Tulad mo, hindi pa rin maganda.”
20. Parry Hotter – Girl: “Kung ikaw ang asawa ko, paiinumin kita ng lason!” Guy: “Kung ikaw ang asawa ko, iinumin ko yung lason!”
21. Joeshred – Boy: “What’s your sign?” Girl: “Do not enter.”
22. Joeshred – Boy: “Wanna dance?” Girl: “No thank you.” Boy: “Don’t thank me, thank God somebody asked you.”
23. Amia Jo – Guy: “If you come with me, I’ll give you a good time.” Girl: “Your mouth is writing checks your body can’t cash.”
24. Young Indy – Gay1: “Sorry, I don’t do CHARITY.” Gay2: “Talaga, eh bakit ang dami mong FOUNDATION?”
25. Seb – Boy – “Di kita ma-reach.” Girl: “Siyemre, unano ka, eh.”