The Top Ten Lamest Insults

Insults are formulated to wound. So when an insults fizzles out instead of exploding, it’s really funny.  Like those guns that shoots out little flags with the word “bang” written on them?  Plus, it takes smarts to create good insults.  The deeper the wound it inflicts, the smarter the source, most likely.

July 7, 2009 → The Top Ten Lamest Insults

1. Lockon Stratos – My sister and I got into a serious shouting match. Sis: “You’re a loser!!!” Me: “Eh ikaw, starfish!!!” Sis: “Ha..?” Me: “Diba yung starfish walang brain? Parang yung friend ni Spongebob?”
2. Eggy – I went to ladies restroom so the guard shouted angrily: “Hoy! Pambabae yan!” Embarrassed, I pointed to my bird then shouted back: “Bakit, pambabae din naman to ah!”
3. Zeni Grand – A friend who was fighting with her American husban was angry because he was making duro at her. She shouted: “If you finger me, I’ll finger you too!”
4. Billie – Me: “You’re an idiot!” Sister: “I know you are, but what am I?” Me: “An idiot nga!”
5. Purple Rose – My brother-in-law has an identical twin. One time I heard them fighting. Brother-in-law: “Pangit!” Twin: “Mas pangit ka!” (eh diba magkamukha sila?)
6. Sicnarf – I one got into a fight with a friend. Friend: “Ang dumi talaga ng utak mo!” Me: “Eh ikaw, ang dumi ng…kuko mo!”
7. Momachique – Friend 1: “I wasn’t born yesterday!” Friend 2: “Siyempre! If you were born yesterday, eh di baby ka palang today?”
8. RVincent – A colleague told one Indian: “Bumbay! Bumbay!” Indian: “Why do you call me Bombay? Bombay is our city. What if I call you, Manila! Manila!”
9. Uge – Friend: “Mas pangit ka pa sa aso ko!” Me: “Eh ikaw, mas pangit ka pa sa nanay ko!”
10. Gracia – Sine-sermonan ko younger sister ko nung naubusan ako ng sasabihin: “When I was your age…I was …24 also!
11. Specialist – “Ang pangit ng girlfriend mo! Kamukha siya ng girlfriend ko!”
12. Boknoi – “Oo, tisay ka nga, pero ang budhi mo naman, sing0itim ng…ng…ng singit ko!”
13. SerV – On an online forum: “Pa-english-english ka pa, eh mali-mali naman! Masyado kang FILLING SMART!”
14. Hapon – When we teased someone: “Bisaya! Bisaya!” He shouted back: “Wala naman kayong ibidinsya!” (not that there should be anything wrong with being Bisaya…)
15. Pluto – Some boys at school were shouting at me: “Bakla! Bakla!” I couldn’t think of anything to shout back at them so I shouted: “Mga…lalaking hindi BAKLA!”
16. Young Indy – During a shouting match, my officemate shouted: “Nakaka-pagod kang kausap!” I shouted back: “Eh di magpahinga ka muna!”
17. RC and Cess – Bullies: “Bulol! Bulol!” Kid: “Mana dado tayo, hindi ato budod!”
18. Rc and Cess – Friend 1: “Haha, wala siyang cellphone!” Friend 2: “Eh ano ngayon, wala man akong cellphone, meron naman akong signal!”
19. Specialist – Friend 1: “Ang buhok mo kasing gulo ng…nest ng bird!” Friend 2: “Eh ikaw, ang ugali mo kasing bad ng…ugali ng criminal!”
20. No name – When I called for tech support from my ISP, they kept putting me on hold. Fuming, I told them: “If you put me on hold one more time…I’ll…uhmm…I’ll put the phone down and call again!”

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