One of those Top Ten topics that are a dream to blog about, but hell to do on national radio. Imagine the backpedaling and double-talking I had to do just to make some these airable. And many just didn’t make it because I needed to keep my job. Finally, I get to present to you the unedtied version of this Top Ten.
April 28, 2009 → The Top Ten Everyday Statements That Sound Dirty, But Aren’t – Sasha Purse
- Zeni Grand – “Kulot sa itaas at sa ibaba.” (2-storey beauty parlor that does perms on both top and bottom floors)
- Anto – “Amuyin ko muna yang tilapia mo para malaman ko kung sariwa pa.”
- Jigan – “Iha, Tiyo Paeng mo ko! Tiyo Paeng mo ko!”
- Joeshred – “Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more…” (Golf instructor to student)
- Sicnarf – “Miss, magkano pakwan sa ‘yo?”
- Jeremy – “Manong, bayad sa T. Tinio!” (T. Tinio is a street in Manila)
- Curt Smith/Boknoi/Devil Boy/Juggernaut/Roland – “Lawayan mo muna para tumigas, saka mo ipasok.” (pagsilid ng sinulid sa karayom)
- Greg/Vanzkull – “Ang init ng panahon, nagpapawis tuloy mani ko!” (peanut vendor)
- No name – Employer: “Anong posisyon?” Applicant: “Ser, kahit ano, basta makapasok lang.”
- Blitzkrieg – “Miss, puwede papatong?” (a guy asking if he can put down his bag on the lady’s table)
- Masterbaker/Eternity_Armani – “Wag mo kong tirahin patalikod!” (to a backstabber)
- TwistdSaint – “Matagal pa ba bago tumigas yan?” (customer to ice vendor)
- RC and Cess – “Hey, you’re banging too hard!” (mom to a son knocking on the door)
- Joeshred - “Bakit yung sa iyo malaki at walang buhok, yung sa akin maliit na maraming buhok?” (eating corn)
- Donya Tequila/Roland/Doraemon – “Mas masarap pag sinipsip mo habang matigas pa!” (tips on eating ice candy)
- Joeshred - “You can’t beat our meat.” (sign at a meatshop)
- JCFerrero03 – Boss: “Anong specialty mo?” Applicant: “Blowjob po.” (Bar owner asking bartender applicant the drink she prepares best)
- Nic – “O, yung itlog mo, dala mo?” (I always remind my husband to bring the herd-boiled egg he brings to work)
- C.VanillaBen – “Ang kinakain ko lang na iltog yung maalat.”
- Cuncun – “Hon, ibuka mo pa, malaki to!” (husband telling wife to open the door wider so he can bring in the new widescreen TV)
- Bodzilla8 – In culinary class, a classmate once said to me: “Pare, ikaw naman ang mag-bate. Ngawit na braso ko eh…”
- Sasha Purse/Peanut – “Paano tayo makakabuo kung di mo ipapatong?” (mga naglalaro ng lego)
- Angel Shadowsong/Bobidaks – “Miss, gaano kalaki breast niyo?” (umoorder sa KFC)
- Lady G. – “Salatin mo muna bago mo silipin!” (mahjong players)
- Joeshred – “Boss ano gusto niyo, babae o bakla?” (tindera ng alimango)
- Chad – “Wag mong isagad, bka dumugo!” (pag sinusungkit ang tutuli)
- C.VanillaBen – After the recital, a pianist was asked: “When not playing the piano, what do you do in your spare time?” Pianist: “I play with my organ.”
- Joeshred – An establishment that serves drinks and offers gambling – “Liqour in front, poker in the rear.”
- Joeshred- “After 18 holes, I can hardly walk.” (golfer)
- No name – “Itaas mo…ibaba mo…idiin mo…mas madiin pa…ayaaaan…ang sarap…” (someone having her back scratched)
- HBK2 – “I-relax mo kasi puwet mo, para di mo maramdaman pag pinasok ko…” (a doctor administering vaccine actually told me this)
- Tcams – “Miss, ilan ba dapat ang itlog ko?” (asked the waitress because the menu said 1 egg, but I had 2 on my plate)
- Guelmytes – “Ang sarap talagang kainin ng mani ni Aling Ising, laging mainit!”
- Iceage – “Puwede ko nang iputok? Saan mo gusto?” (at a shooting range)
- No name – My mom buys hotdogs being endorsd by Sam Milby. One time she asked my brother: “Nasarapan ka ba sa hotdog ni Sam?” He said: “Okay lang, pero maliit, kaya ng isang subo.”
- Abernathy – Kid with a stutter to his aunt: “Titi-tita, pepe-penge pong kiki-kikiam. Palagay na lang po dodo-doon sa susu-superman na plate. At yung bolbol-bolpen niyo, wala sa kin, pekpek-peksman!”
