The Top Ten Signs That You’re Not Doing “It” Right

If two virgins got together, how would they know if they’re doing it right?  Is instinct enough?  But if you want to play it by the moral rules, you’re not really allowed to “practice”, right?  So is that an argument for or against saving it for the honeymoon?

April 14, 2010 – The Top Ten Signs That You’re Not Doing “It” Right – Hunter Lizzie

1. Kikoman – A blind man went to the fish market, and, upon reaching the market, said: “Good morning, ladies!”
2. Oscardelahopia – If your husband goes: “Araaay! Yung buhok ko, sumabit sa braces mo! Dahan-dahan kasi..” (referring to his bigote, of course)
3. Camilla Rosa – “Aray! Puwede isang daliri lang ang gamitin, wag tatlo?” (referring to a shiatsu massage, of course)
4. Maximo – A woman to the doctor who’s examining her breast: “Doc tonsilitis po ang ipinunta ko dito…”
5. Twylyt – A boy taking an exam rubbed his head with oil. Teacher asked why. He said: “Ang sabi po kasi ng nanay ko sa tatay ko, lagyan daw ng oil yung ulo pag ayaw pumasok…”
6. Angpaghihimagsiknijoeshred – Kapag sinabihan ka ng: “Hep hep hep, wag kang papasok diyan, labasan yan!” (ng security guard sa club)
7. Loipogi – When the HR manager returns your resumé and tells you to correct the info under SEX because you wrote: “bi-curious/straight tripper”.
8. Twylyt – If you think that sex is a pain in the ass.
9. Meatball – Dad: “I love this hospital! Before sleeping they give me Viagra.” Son: “Why would they do that?” Dad: “So I don’t fall off the bed.”
10. No name – If she shouts: “Pusod ko yan! Pusoooooood!!!”
11. Gracia – If she says: “Titibayan yan?” (after you repair her shoes)
12. Loi Pogi – If someone tells you: “Bale wala ang dribble pag di naman na-shoot.”
13. Hellgirl – Kung kahit anong pump mo, ayaw pa rin tumigas. (ang biceps…)
14. Blitzkrieg – “Start from the base. Squeeze upwards over and over, until may lumabas…” (how to squeeze toothpaste from the tube)
15. Eggbert – If your blind date tells you: “Miss, what I said was, my name is Ben Dover…”
16. Ezra22 – Son came home and proudly told his father: “Dad, I just experienced my first BJ!” Dad: “That’s my boy! Well, how was it?” Son: “Nakakaduwal pala…”
17. Dennis – If you put the condom on your finger.
18. Greg – “Wag mong hipan. That’s not what I meant when I said, ‘blow me’…”
19. Daphnee – A girl found out that her boyfriend killed her cat, put it into siopao, and was currently eating the siopao. She told him: “That’s not what I meant when I told you to eat my pussy.”
20. Joel – (Couple making out in the dark) Boy: “Hindi ka ba nage-enjoy?” Girl: “Paano naman ako mage-enjoy, eh kanina mo pa sinisipsip yung hinog kong pigsa sa dibdib…”