Battle Of The Bulge

I just got the results of my latest blood test (yes we get tested regularly; my family’s odd that way) and my cholesterol levels went through the roof!  From 197, which is 3 points short of the maximum, it shot to 269, which is 69 above the maximum.  I blame it on the su-su-su-su-su-suckling pig!  Anyway, my doctor has been bugging me to get off my fat ass and start moving.  He said to dance to the music I play on the radio, or anything more active than my usual sedentary lifestyle.  My idea of exercise is standing up to get chips and Coke while I watch TV.  I don’t know why, but I’m really rebelling against the idea of exercising, like a kid who was told to eat veggies or else.  I’d rather starve myself than do jumping jacks.  The only exercise I like is walking our dogs and even that, I would only do, if given a promise to eat something oily or salty or sweet.  I’ve been good diet-wise; I’ve been subsisting on a mostly fish/veggies/kamote diet, but my doctor said mere dieting just won’t cut it because I need to sweat away the chunks of lard that have replaced the blood in my veins.  So against all my protestations, I decided to scrape off my bacon-butt off the sofa and start exercising.  And what’s my poison?  The least objectionable of the sports I am barely adequate in: badminton.

When Delle and I left 939 KCFM in May 2002, we had a month to waste before we boarded again in RX in June.  It was that lull that I started my love-hate relationship with the sport.  I got into it just for kicks, just right before the sport boomed a couple of years after.  At the time, the only major courts were Valle, Club Filipino, Crame, and a couple of others.  We played in a small cement court called Chuts somewhere near SM North.  I instantly fell in love with the sport.  It got to a point where I started joining tournaments and even trained for a bit.  I got to join 2 JVC celebrity tournaments and was playing pretty decently, when knee injuries forced me to take it easy, which quickly segued into eventual quitting.

So years after I stopped, I decided to try playing again.  I was pretty rusty, but I must say, it’s still every bit as fun as I remembered it to be!  Problem was, both my rackets were no good anymore, one got bent out of shape and the other got lost.  But as if on cue, as I was rummaging through my things, I saw 2 rackets that I never got to use really, both just given as freebies (one for JVC the other for hosting some badminton event), so after having them gutted, now I have 2 brand new rackets raring to go.  I also bought me a new pair of badminton shoes from Mizuno, and all I need to buy now are supporters because I don’t want naman my betlogs to make lawlaw.  I also got me a new badminton group with whom I can play with, and the competitive streak in me has just been awakened, and I hope this athletic fervor lasts longer than you can say large beef burrito.

So wish me luck on my new mission in life, to lose the cholesterol and uncover the chunky hunk of a greek god, hiding under flabby folds of pork fat.  I don’t want to die yet, I still want to travel the world and build my animal shelter, so I need to get my act together.  I need to conquer my 2 new arch foes, sugar and cholesterol.  I now drink my coffee black, I eat Rockwell kamote (but bought in Binondo), I eat fish as my only meat, and now I will play badminton and walk my dogs more.  Pray that I have the steely determination to see this through.  If all this hard work pays off, I promise to bare my new bod in a sexy pictorial in some sleazy magazine, with only a shuttlecock covering my…naughty bits (IF they can find a shuttlecock big enough, and IF my betlogs haven’t made lawlaw yet).

So c’mon, cheer me on!

ME: “Hep Hep!”

YOU: “Hooray!”

ME: “Hep Hep!”

YOU: “Hooray!”

ME: “Hep Hep!”

YOU: “Hoorayyy!!!!!!!”

Thank you.

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