The Top Ten Signs That You’re Not Doing “It” Right

If two virgins got together, how would they know if they’re doing it right?  Is instinct enough?  But if you want to play it by the moral rules, you’re not really allowed to “practice”, right?  So is that an argument for or against saving it for the honeymoon?

April 14, 2010 – The Top Ten Signs That You’re Not Doing “It” Right – Hunter Lizzie

1. Kikoman – A blind man went to the fish market, and, upon reaching the market, said: “Good morning, ladies!”
2. Oscardelahopia – If your husband goes: “Araaay! Yung buhok ko, sumabit sa braces mo! Dahan-dahan kasi..” (referring to his bigote, of course)
3. Camilla Rosa – “Aray! Puwede isang daliri lang ang gamitin, wag tatlo?” (referring to a shiatsu massage, of course)
4. Maximo – A woman to the doctor who’s examining her breast: “Doc tonsilitis po ang ipinunta ko dito…”
5. Twylyt – A boy taking an exam rubbed his head with oil. Teacher asked why. He said: “Ang sabi po kasi ng nanay ko sa tatay ko, lagyan daw ng oil yung ulo pag ayaw pumasok…”
6. Angpaghihimagsiknijoeshred – Kapag sinabihan ka ng: “Hep hep hep, wag kang papasok diyan, labasan yan!” (ng security guard sa club)
7. Loipogi – When the HR manager returns your resumé and tells you to correct the info under SEX because you wrote: “bi-curious/straight tripper”.
8. Twylyt – If you think that sex is a pain in the ass.
9. Meatball – Dad: “I love this hospital! Before sleeping they give me Viagra.” Son: “Why would they do that?” Dad: “So I don’t fall off the bed.”
10. No name – If she shouts: “Pusod ko yan! Pusoooooood!!!”
11. Gracia – If she says: “Titibayan yan?” (after you repair her shoes)
12. Loi Pogi – If someone tells you: “Bale wala ang dribble pag di naman na-shoot.”
13. Hellgirl – Kung kahit anong pump mo, ayaw pa rin tumigas. (ang biceps…)
14. Blitzkrieg – “Start from the base. Squeeze upwards over and over, until may lumabas…” (how to squeeze toothpaste from the tube)
15. Eggbert – If your blind date tells you: “Miss, what I said was, my name is Ben Dover…”
16. Ezra22 – Son came home and proudly told his father: “Dad, I just experienced my first BJ!” Dad: “That’s my boy! Well, how was it?” Son: “Nakakaduwal pala…”
17. Dennis – If you put the condom on your finger.
18. Greg – “Wag mong hipan. That’s not what I meant when I said, ‘blow me’…”
19. Daphnee – A girl found out that her boyfriend killed her cat, put it into siopao, and was currently eating the siopao. She told him: “That’s not what I meant when I told you to eat my pussy.”
20. Joel – (Couple making out in the dark) Boy: “Hindi ka ba nage-enjoy?” Girl: “Paano naman ako mage-enjoy, eh kanina mo pa sinisipsip yung hinog kong pigsa sa dibdib…”

Earth Hour 2010

It’s that time of the year again, and Earth Hour is upon us.  Last year, the Philippines ranked 3rd among the most successful countries as far as participation was concerned.  It was a shining moment for us, that a good chunk of Filipinos are actually willing to do something, however small or symbolic you may perceive the event, to listen to what the Earth is telling us.  Many naysayers say what use is turning off the lights for one hour, compared to 364 days of leaving it on?  True, but we have to start somewhere.  Remember, humankind was weaned on the notion that we are the alpha species, that like the dinosaurs before us, we rule the earth.  That being the top predator, we have the right to use the planet and usurp every natural resource to our advantage.  We’ve appropriated the rights of other living things on earth and declared it inferior to ours, as we decimate their ranks for food or sport, commandeer their habitats, experiment on their numbers for scientific research that benefit only us, among others.  If tried as a species, we’d be found guilty of many crimes on a global scale.  We use up the earth’s resources as if there were no other generations coming after us.  We’ve used up what was for our children’s children.  So is this whole symbolic event an exercise in futility?  I’d like to think not.  It’s good to be reminded, even on an annual basis, of the urgency of the situation.  We gotta start somewhere.  It would take generations before we shift our collective thinking into a more eco-friendly one.  But if it isn’t already to late to turn back, we need to be the transition generation.  We need to make sure the kids absorb the new way of thinking, the new world order, if they are to still have a planet to live on.  We can’t give up.  Throughout Ondoy, we’ve proven that we still have it in us, the spirit of making things right, no matter how wrong it’s gotten.  It’s never too late to turn a new leaf.

If you’re in the Makati area, please join us, Delle and I will be hosting the Earth Hour Live! @ Glorietta 4 Park, 6pm.  Performers will be Sitti, Jay Durias and True Faith.  You can opt to turn off your lights in your homes or offices, 8:30-9:30pm, or you can join us and celebrate Earth Hour 2010 as a group!  But wherever you may be, please join the rest of the millions all over the world to make a statement, to Vote for Earth, and turn off your lights for an hour on Saturday, March 27, 2010, from 8:30 to 9:30  in the evening.

For more details check out www.earthhour.org for more details on this global event.

Zambales 3 (B & W/Infrared)

The first time we went to Anawangin, there were hardly any people there. There was just one other group there, and aside from them, we were all alone.  I guess that’s why we always had a magical memory of how Anawangin looked like, or at least how it was supposed to look like.  That was barely 2 years ago.  When we went there last weekend, you can see what 2 years of tourism can do to ravage a once pristine pocket of nature.  I remember taking a shot of the shore from the boat: it was a shot of the water-sand-pines-mountains  progression, one in front of the other.  Now you can’t get a clear shot without the scene littered with fences, signs, huts, nets, etc.  Tourism is truly a double-edged sword.  On one hand, the locals are thrilled with the influx of tourists because it means more income for them.  But on the other hand, more tourists mean more garbage, more destruction, more misuse of natural resources.  We were surprised at how much garbage there is now on the sand, as opposed to the last time we were there.

Anawangin used to be a cult haunt for mountaineers who would visit the virgin cove, and to enjoy the meeting of the river and the sea.  But mountaineers were mostly a more environmentally conscious bunch, who would pick up after themselves, making sure they don’t leave garbage behind.  The multitudes of weekend warriors that now throng there however, are unfortunately not as tuned in to the fragile ecosystem of the area.  Many treat it as a private playground, they frolic, they eat, then leave their plastic wrappers and styrofoam containers wherever they last needed them.  I really hope this place doesn’t end up like Boracay, where nature suffers just so us city-dwellers can enjoy our weekends regardless of the effect we impose on the ecosystem.

And back in Pundaquit, each resort has their own karaoke system, each one positioned in their respective common areas (in our case, it was situated right under our 2nd floor room window).  So at night, you can literally hear maybe 3-5 karaoke systems blaring different songs at the same time (from Fra Lippo Lippi to Journey to Evanescence to Aegis) with their accompanying banshees, atonally wailing their hearts out even if fellow resort occupants are trying to get some shut-eye after a long tiring day.  And apparently, in this culture, there is NOTHING wrong with that.  So, not wanting to impose what is normal to us, which is respecting the noise threshold of your fellow human beings, we kept our peace, regarding the lack of.

These are the photos I took where I rendered them in black & white or at least keeping the color to a minimum. Most were taken using the infrared filter, which is usually a love it or hate it kind of thing, depending on your taste.  It gives the scene a gloomier, spookier, more otherworldly feel.  Although many of these look like they were taken at night, all of them were actually taken in very harsh sunlight (you can’t take infrared photos w/o bright sunlight).  For every photo shoot, I try to have a couple of shots using infrared, it’s a personal favorite of mine.

The more I travel, the more I realize just how much impact we humans have on our environment.  It’s no joke.  We really need to be more conscious of how much “footprints” we leave behind when we visit a place.  With Earth Hour happening this Saturday, where we do a show of force by simply turning off the lights for one hour, the same can be done when we visit tourist spots like beaches.  Little things like pocketing trash instead of throwing it on the sand or the water, or keeping garbage you’ve generated until you find a trash bin, these little token acts can go a long way if we do it often enough.  No matter that everyone else is tossing garbage here and there, do right by yourself.  At the very least, your didn’t contribute to the ruin.  At best, you can actually make a difference.

The Top Ten Things You Don’t Want To Hear From Kids

The fastest way to embarrass yourself is to let kids talk.  I remember someone telling me a story that when their boss came over to dinner, their 8-year-old opened the door. Upon seeing the boss, he yells: “Daddy! nandito na yung sabi mong bad breath!”  Here are other examples.

April 13, 2009 → The Top Ten Things You Don’t Want To Hear From Kids – SC

1. “Oscar dela Hopia – Son kills a butterfly. Dad: “Bad! No butter for a week!” Son kills a honeybee. Dad: “Bad! No honey for a week!” Mom kills a cockroach. Son: “C’m0n dad! Tell her!”
2. Bridget Honda – My son once asked me: “Mommy, nagkapag cyber sex na ba kayo ni Daddy?”
3. Boknoi – When my wife was pregnant my son said to her: “You’re fat!” We explained that it’s because Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy. After that he asked: “So what’s growing in your butt?”
4. angpaghihimagsiknijoeshred – “Hey mom, look! I’m a piggy bank, I swallowed money!”
5. SC – It was my kid nephew’s birthday, and as he was about to blow his birthday cake, my sister asked him what he wished for. He said: “Sana hindi nalang ikaw ang m0mmy ko.”
6. Mommy Jho – When I asked my 6-year-old what he wanted to be when he grew up, he said: “Barangay tanod.
7. Racer – My friend shot her young son an angry look after he did something bad. She was shocked when he begged: “Mother, wag mo kong jombagin!”
8. Oscar dela Hopia – Mom’s friend to a kid: “Wow, ang cute mo naman!” Kid: “Salamat po, sana kayo din!”
9. Maximo – Anak: “Mommy, kinakain ba yung ilaw? Kasi nadinig ko sabi mo kay daddy kagabi, “Hon, patayin mo na yung ilaw, kakainin ko na yan…”
10. Uriboy – A friend was on her way to the grocery so she told her daughter to list down what she wanted. When she opened the list, there was only one thing written on the paper: “Freedom.”
11. Fatty – When our lola died, everyone was silent. Then my 5-year-old nephew said, “O, ano pang hinihintay niyo? Iyak na!”
12. Eres – My young cousin is a special child. One time, I saw him and asked him if he had a message for my brother who wasn’t able to come. My cousin said: “Magkikita kami sa ika-lima ng Nobyembre.” We had no idea what he meant. A week after, November 4, my lola died. We all went to the wake November 5. My brother saw my cousin there.
13. Feb 15 – Son: “Mama, si kuya nagbigti sa banyo!” Mom: “Ha?!? Anaaak!!!” Son: “Joke, joke, joke!” Mom: “Masamang biro yan ha!” Son: “Sori po, sa sala siya nagbigti…”
14. Nobag – Teacher: “Why did you bring your cat to school?” Kid: “I fear for her life, coz I heard my sister’s boyfriend tell her, ‘tomorrow I’ll eat your pussy’!”
15. Feb 15 – Son: “Tay, kapatid ko po ba si Ninong?” Dad: “Hindi, kumpare ko siya. Bakit?” Son: “Kasi nakita ko siyang dumedede kay inay…”
16. Arvie – Kid: “Mommy, tumawag ako kay Daddy pero babae ang sumagot!” Mom: “Sabi ko na nga ba may kabit yang walang kwenta mong ama! Anong sabi?” Kid: “The number you dialled is unattended…”
17. RC & Cess – During dinner with guests, my aunt asked her daughter to say grace. The daughter said she didn’t know what to pray. My aunt told her: “Just pray what you heard be pray kanina.” Her daughter started: “Oh God, why did I ever invite these people?”
18. Bluegrey – Kid: “Mommy, today tinuruan kami sa school ng kagandahang asal!” Mom: “Eh di marunong ka nang gumamit ng po at opo?” Kid: “Gago ka ba, oo naman!”
19. SC – Kid: “Mom, is it bad to walk around the house holding a knife?” Mom: “Of course, why?” Kid: “Kasi I see our former yaya doing it every night…” (Apparently a former yaya died after being thrown out of the house by the mom).
20. Feb 15 – Kid: “Ma, nahihilo ako.” Mom: “Gutom lang yan.” Kid: “Ma, nasusuka ako.” Mom: “Sinisikmura ka lang.” Kid: “Ma, buntis yata ako!” Mom: “Pag hindi ka tumigil, pipitikin ko bayag mo!”

Zambales 3 (Colored)

We have a little group of photo buddies we’ve christened Fourground, mainly due to our love of landscape photography.  We even ventured (some say dared) to hold an exhibit of our landscape and travel pictures in January of 2008.  But 2009 wasn’t a very productive year for us, photo-wise, and so we skipped the idea of having a follow-up exhibit last year.  One  of us, Greg, was preparing for his wedding (yihee!). While a vicious typhoon season dampened any hopes of a prolific season, as well as another one of us, Lennie, was affected by typhoon Ondoy.  Fritzie went to Canada for a long vacation, and I was too busy with work and other stuff.

Plus, as a group, we went into some sort of creative crisis, the details of which I will leave out, since it involves other “factors”.  So we put photography in the dustbin for most of last year, almost like an LQ with the hobby.  We were almost allergic to the idea of picking up our cameras and going on a photoshoot.  The only “real” shoot we had was in San Pablo, and only because we were also shooting Greg’s prenup.  Personally, the only travel photography I did was in conjunction with my vacations, as opposed to traveling specifically to shoot photos.  Also, I limited most of my photography to documenting my family during our gatherings.  For an entire year, we stayed away.

This year, we told ourselves that it is time to pick ourselves up and collectively shake ourselves awake from this creative stupor and there’s no better way to do that than to go out there and start shooting again.  We decided to go back to where we first had our landscape lessons, Zambales.  We were all grappling with a year’s worth of rustiness.  Our cameras felt alien in our hands (I was shooting a lot with my point and shoot last year), and we were struggling with finding the right composition.  We didn’t know which filters to use, and generally unsure of our skills.

By the end of the shoot, we were drained physically (the sun was punishing!) and creatively.  We felt beaten and downtrodden by the creative struggle but we chose to treat this photoshoot as getting our feet wet again and re-learning the craft.  We’re always too hard on ourselves, so we decided to cut ourselves some slack and just enjoy the hobby again like we used to.  So although we’re still looking for that elusive “kick-ass” photo, we’re just glad to be back in the game.

I brought my trusty first camera, my Nikon D40X, since it’s got better colors as my other camera, the D90.  That’s why for landscape photography, I always stick to my D40X  paired of course with the Sigma 10-20mm ultra-wide lens.  I’ve decided to split the pictures into 2 sets.  For this one, I’m posting the colored photos, with some using the ND400 filter for that vintage 70′s look.  I’ll post the black & white photos/infrared photos in another set.

We decided to shoot in the areas of Zambales that we haven’t been to before, opting for rocky nooks and coves, far from the usual areas where tourists flock to swim.  We didn’t want to shoot the same stuff we’ve already covered the other two times we’ve been to Zambales.

It’s still stunning as ever.  That whole area is just so photogenic, and the weather was cooperative, and the sights, simply gorgeous.  It was a nice place to rediscover the joy of photography.  I really just hope it’s a successful jumpstart to get back into the hobby.  A creative block is no fun, and it would be  nice to do this  again regularly.  With so many vexations to the spirit, a weekend photoshoot is a wonderful stressbuster for frayed nerves.

(next: my black & white and infrared photos)

She Just Needed A Hug

On a regular basis, many dogs like Edie are euthanized all over the world (or made into pulutan) on the sole basis of their uneven temperament.  But as this guy proved, sometimes, they just need someone to show them that there is another way to look at the world out there; a kinder version, with more love than hate, more compassion than aggression.  In more ways than we think, many people are just like Edie.  Most of those aggressive, intolerant, hate-filled, human beings you know are just like this dog: behind those snarling fangs, is a scared little puppy, just needing a little understanding, a little affection, and yes, as trite as it sounds to jaded ears and hearts, a little love.  I refuse to believe that anyone in their right mind, would choose negativity over positivity, to choose hate over love.  Many of those unpleasant people we know were probably hurt at one crucial turning point, and the defenses they put up after, are those awful personalities we see upfront.  Like Edie, who was abused by her previous owner, she just thinks people will hurt her again, because that’s all she ever knew of humans.  But when one human showed her that there are among us humans who would not harm  a hair on her head, she immediately put her trust in him.  As corny as it sounds, I’m thoroughly (or naively) convinced that choose any one of those unpleasant dark cloud characters in your lives, and give them the love or kindness that their souls thirst for, and from the source they crave it from the most, that they will be completely transformed.  They will have no need to inflict the pain that they feel  inside to others, they will feel no compulsion to naysay everything that people they envy undertake, they will need no reason to wish their enemies any amount of ill will, because they have kindness and love in their hearts in spades.  Of course that’s easier said than done, mainly because the love these people probably crave for is not ours to give.  We’re just casualties of war.  I don’t wear rose-colored glasses, but I’ve seen too many monsters de-fanged at the slightest show of kindness to not subscribe to this “they-just-need-a-hug” theory.

This video feeds my burning desire to put up an animal shelter one day.  I don’t have the gifts of Hope For Paws’ Eldad Hagar or the dog whispering talents of Cesar Millan, in fact I’m ironically not very confident around strange dogs.  Growing up, I’ve always battled a strong fear of dogs.  I love doge even then, but I was deathly afraid of being bitten by them.  And it’s really true what Cesar Millan said, that dogs can read your true energy, much better that what you actually do or say.  So no matter how confidently I act around aggressive dogs, they can smell my fear of them a mile away.  I’ve always envied those dog groomers who can just pick up any dog, even aggressive ones, and groom them as if they were grooming a harmless ball of cotton.  But despite this, I’d really like to eventually do some work for an animal shelter, because my heart really gravitates towards animals and rescuing unwanted ones and also animal conservation.  I don’t know how I’d actually get to do it, given my busy schedules on radio and hostings, but I’d just like to throw it out there to the universe, that I’d like to offer my services in the pursuit of saving animals, from as grand as the great whales, to as humble as those mangy mutts we avoid in the streets.  Wala lang…

And so as not to end too heavily with all that serious stuff, here’s one of Eldad’s lighter, cuter videos.  I really like this because I too, have a chihuahua that looks a lot like this one.  My Chi can get pretty aggressive too, and to be honest, I’m sometimes afraid of her when she’s in her “demon chihuahua” mode, but I’m slowly learning to assert my Alpha male status, as learned from Cesar Millan’s DVD.

The Top Ten Things To Do On A Road Trip

It’s still a week to go before Holy Week, but already so many people are taking advantage of the summer vacation to go on as many road trips as possible.  In fact, tomorrow, we’ll be heading out on a road trip ourselves, as me and my photographer friends finally go on a full-blown photo trip in Zambales!  Can’t wait.  So will keep in mind these tips.

April 7, 2009 → The Top Ten Things To Do On A Road Trip

1. Babyjen – Step 1: deactivate your flash. Step 2: take as many unflattering pictures of your sleeping carmates.
2. Acer – Count how many dead cats and dogs roadkill there are along the way. Or rate how nice or ugly the welcome signs or archs and municipal halls of the towns you pass by.
3. No name – Gawan ng kuwento at dialogue ang mga pedestrians.
4. Hakunamatata – My mom used to pay me 1 peso per silver hair I plucked while we were in the car.
5. Oracle – Magbunot ng buhok sa kilikili habang nakikinig kay Lady Gaga.
6. Widower 55 – Along EDSA, everyone closes their eyes at the same time. After 15 minutes, everyone will guess where along EDSA they are. Nearest guess wins.
7. Loipogi – We play pa-jologan ng kilalang That’s Entertainment alumni &  laugh when we menti0n names like Brylle Mondejar, Bernard Allan,  Cathy Mora, Manolet Ripol & the Alvir siblings.
8. Astroboy – If we see a guy na nakatalikod, we shout “Pogi!” Pag tumingin at guwapo, we say “Naks!” Pero pag pangit, we say, “Kapal!”
9. No name – Paramihan ng makitang buntis. Or paramihan ng makitang umiihi sa pader.
10. Ginger – We give meaning to the 3 letters of plate numbers. Like PGF 347, means Philippine Gay Federation.
11. Loipogi – We count the cars na kasalubong namin. Ang 17th car na makasalubong, soulmate mo.
12. RC & Cess – Count 50 yellow cars. After the 50th yellow car, the first person you see wearing violet is your soulmate.
13. Iklog- We wave at whoever we see. It’s cute because a lot of people actually wave back!
14. Dru- We at the backseat pretend like we’re either 1) fighting or strangling each other or 2) wildly making out. Naloloka yung mga kasunod na cars!
15. Dru – Open the car window and just look out. After half an hour, paitiman ng ilong.
16. Dru – Once, I drew a face on my index finger and decided to make a digital short film in the car. It was a musical about a gay finger who can bend like a pretzel.
17. T-Square – I measured the time between the kilometer markers. For every marker is 1km & then compute the speed of our car to see if it tallies with the speedometer. It does. Nerd!
18. Midsis – Take time out to reflect during the Holy Week, look back at the year that passed and ask yourself: “Why do you constantly fail to enter the top 10?”
19. Joeshred – Play the game: “Lick The Stickshift”.
20. Prune Man – Get a frisbee and play catch with an adjacent car while moving, without getting into an accident.
21. Forg – Kapag nakakita ng couple sa isang sasakyan, mag speculate ng issue kung bakit hindi sila nag-uusap.
22. Loipogi – We bring a small white board. Kapag may cute sa daan o sa other cars, we dare our friends to show the board w/ the words: “ANG CUTE MO! 0918-*******”
23. Loipogi – Paramihan ng makikitang bi-curious sa daan.
24. Jonathan Vasquez – drink hot coffee with no cover on the cup.
25. Ria – Bilangin ang makikitang simbahan ng Iglesia Ni Cristo. You’d be suprised that from Tandang Sora, QC to Tuguegarao, Cagayan, we counted 98 churches of the INC.

The Morning Rush Photo Contest!

Summer is all about vacations and holidays and having fun!  And what is a summer romp without pictures as proof?  We are giving away a Canon Powershot A480 to the person who can give us the BEST summer photograph with “Monster Radio RX 93.1″ or “The Morning Rush” (or both!) included somewhere in the picture.  The best or most creative, or most impressive, or funniest, or most dramatic, or strangest photo wins. We will give you 2 weekends to prepare for this, this weekend and next weekend, and by Monday, March 29, 2010, we’ll announce who wins the camera!  Email all of your photos to rxtmr@yahoo.com.

Again:

1.  The photo must be summer-themed — meaning it has to have summer elements in it: like the setting (like the beach or Baguio or a swimming pool), the outfits (like people in bikinis or board shorts or Hawaiian shirts), the story (like everyone in an office wearing beach clothes but are stuck in the city) — anything as long as it has summer as it’s theme.  Challenge your creativity.

2.  It may or may not include you (that’s up to you), it may or may not include people (it can be a summer landscape kind of photo), it may or may not include animals (maybe your dog in a bikini), or it can have as many people as you can fit in one frame (you can take a picture of hundreds of people on the beach from a chopper, for instance).  Again, use your creativity.

3.  It has to have “Monster Radio RX 93.1″ or “The Morning Rush” anywhere in the picture.  We want to make sure it’s not some old photo you have from a previous vacation.  We want this to be a photo project, so we want a fresh photo that you’ll take specifically for this challenge.  So find a way to incorporate either of the two (or both would even be better) somewhere in the picture.  Maybe the Monster sticker would be somewhere in the picture, or a man with a picket sign that says “The Morning Rush” somewhere in the background, or you can make like a spoof of a  summer movie poster.  Again, creativity will be the key.

4.  Keep the photo in the Philippines please.  Sorry to our friends abroad, but we wanted a Philippine summer theme.

5.  No age limit.  If an 8-year-old kid or a 90-year-old grandma takes a really nice snapshot, why not?

6.  You can use any type of camera, whether it’s a point and shoot, a fancy hi-tech DSLR, or even a lomo camera, would be fine.  We would also allow photo editing like photoshop, but it will still depend on your execution.  Just because it’s photoshopped doesn’t necessarily mean it’s better.  If done well then it’ll work, but if done badly then it’ll be worse than an unedited one.

7.  You can send in as many entries as you want per person.  You can send us different photos attacking the theme from different angles.  In the end, it’s as much an exercise in creativity as it is an exercise in photography skills.  Even if you’re not really into taking pictures, give it a try!  Who knows a simple picture might end up appealing to us (or a really fancy hi-tech one, for that matter).

8.  Send all your entries to rxtmr@yahoo.com.

Of course our decision will be final.  We will all have our own picks, but Delamar and I will promise to be as unbiased as humanly possible, taking everything into consideration when choosing the winner.  So, let’s have fun with this, and start sending us your photos!

(The Canon PowerShot A480 digital compact camera, is 25% smaller than its predecessor, and includes a new simplified button layout for ease of use. This well-reviewed entry-level compact houses a 10.0 Megapixel sensor, 2.5″ LCD, Canon’s DIGIC III processor and includes features such as Motion detection and Face Detection.)

Laiya, Batangas (March 2010)

Whoever invented karaoke ought to be shot.  In the balls.  Twice.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure karaoke has its joys, and I’m all for going to KTV’s, entering one of those enclosed cubicles and singing your heart out as loud as you can, for as long as you want.  But I consider karaoke as similar to another habit, smoking.  I’m okay if you smoke in your own space, but once your fumes invade my air, then we have a problem.  You can blow as much smoke into your air, because that’s your choice.  Breathing smoke is NOT my choice, so I don’t want it in my space, and that’s MY right.  Same with karaoke.  Go sing until your jugular snaps, for all I care, but once your drunken atonal wailing of “Beauty and Madness” seeps loudly into my resort room at 1:00 AM, then it ceases to be cute.  But, I get ahead of my own story…

It was actually a nice weekend at the beach for us, leaving 6 AM Saturday morning, sun blazing full strength, racing down the SLEX with Alicia Keys’ latest album blaring in the background (especially my fave “Love Is My Disease”), rolling fast, far away from every worry left behind in the city.  We went to our friend’s resort in San Juan, Batangas, and enjoyed the sun, the sand and the surf.  Since summer has officially started, the Batangas resorts were filled to the brim, especially with companies holding their outings and team buildings in these resorts.  So everything was par for course for a busy weekend in a resort; they’d be blaring their megaphones as they do their activities and I’m cool with that.  It’s a little too noisy for my taste, but it’s all good, nothing I can’t handle.  But the karaoke.  It started after lunch, stopped only for a bit during dinnertime, I guess because they can’t sing and stuff their pie holes at the same time.  But of course, shortly after dinner…the drinking and the karaoke…started.  And it didn’t stop at 9 AM, it didn’t stop at 12 midnight, it went on until past 2 AM.  And all this racket happening a few meters outside our rooms.  And not just the caterwauling, but with the accompanying shouting and laughing at full volume, as if they were having their inuman in the privacy of their own homes.  Unbelievable.  Thank goodness we were so sleepy that we would drift in and out of sleep despite the noise.  Otherwise, I would’ve knocked on Governer Vi’s door and asked her to pull the plug on those bozos’ marauding merriment.  Then maybe offer her a warm glass of Bear Brand after to help her get back to sleep.

Aside from the unfortunate insensitivity of our fellow weekend warriors, it was a nice escape from the hubbub of the hectic city life that reins us in day-in, day-out.  It’s always therapeutic for me to soak in the salty waters of the sea to calm my often frazzled nerves.  I get upset about the slightest hitches (and as we all know, life is replete with hitches), so when I submerge and the water closes up my ear canals, I’m suddenly in another world, far removed from life on land.  I hear nothing but the gurgling of the waves (and the occasional motor boat) and I close my eyes and absorb everything.  Although on the first day, I wasn’t really able to swim much because there was a surprisingly large amount of dead fish in the waters near the shore:

We asked around and apparently they’re tamban, often used as tuyo.  The people there didn’t really know why those decomposing dead fish were floating around in such big numbers.  Some theorize that maybe the early morning boats cast away some of the day’s catch, but they also countered that it’s a little too much for those to be discards.  But whatever the cause, they were stinking up the place.  The water had a malansa stench that limited my time in the water.  I stayed mostly in the deeper parts where there weren’t as much fish debris.  I was still able to shoot some fish pics like this puffer fish that was fearless.

I would swim deep right next to it, and it didn’t flinch, refusing to budge from its little kelp bed.  So cute.  Unfortunately, we couldn’t snorkel in the area where there were more corals because the resort that “owns” that area of the beach doesn’t allow non-guests to swim in “their” waters.  We would know because we went to that resort the last time.  But one scary aspect of our weekend was that apparently, it’s also urchin season.  No less than 3 guests in our resort alone, stepped on urchins, and you could see them hobbling to and fro or soaking their feet in hot water and vinegar.  Since we also had a brush with an urchin incident in the same beach before, the trick is to soak the appendage afflicted with the spines in hot water with vinegar.  Make it as hot as your skin can stand, and soak it for as long as you can.  Don’t try to pull the embedded spines because you’ll just make it worse.  Just leave it, and the body will absorb the spines and within the day, most of it will have disappeared into your body.  As we were swimming, I was able to take a picture of one of those suckers just mere meters from the shore, close enough for you to step on it if you were wading (that’s why I always wear my water shoes while swimming):

But despite the pricks on the urchin and the pricks behind the microphone, it was a nice weekend, with a stress-free drive back home, since no cars were on the streets, with everyone glued to their TV’s for the Pacquiao-Clottey fight.  We were able to catch the fight as we ate a late lunch in Lipa, as well as the now controversial Arnel Pineda rendition of the Lupang Hinirang.  But  everything considered, last weekend was a nice recharging weekend, and we’re now gearing up for another out-of-town romp this Saturday, this time in San Antonio, Zambales, for a landscape photoshoot.  I pray to the heavens that they don’t have karaoke…

The Top Ten Holy Week Quotes

It’s barely 2 weeks before Holy Week and again it’s fitting that I should be posting this today.  I’m so excited for the Holy Week break because for us broadcasters it’s the only break we have for the entire year.  We don’t have Christmas or New Year, so Holy Week is definitely something we look forward to.  I remember the only Holy Week that had television was the Good Friday that Rico Yan died.  What was supposed to be a silent holy day became abuzz with the tragic news.

April 6, 2009 → The Top Ten Holy Week Quotes – Astroboy

1. Pancho – My lola once told me while I was having a vacation in their province, that if you get lost during good Friday, no one will find you – until Easter.
2. Acer – No bathing after 3pm Good Friday, or you turn to stone.
3. RC & Cess – The Lenten season is the best time to say, “FISH be with you.”
4. KiD BuKid – Years ago, while we’re doing our Visita Iglesia, we were surprised to read this message from a Church bulletin board: “If you have problems, come in and tell us about them. If you don’t have one, come in and tell us how you do it.”
5. Ampalaya Supreme- Mas malapit daw ang disgrasya kasi walang maglilgtas sa atin kasi patay si JESUS.
6. Dru – My mom said wounds during Good Friday will remain fresh forever. Imagine my panic, having been circumcized a week before Good Friday, crying and willing the wounds to heal in 6 days.
7. Oracle – Wag daw magsasabi ng mga sikreto during Holy Week, kasi maraming Hudas.
8. Tsuk Knot – Bawal daw mag sex on good Friday kasi chances are magiging permanent ang pagkakabaon at di na mabubunot.
9. Scarface – Someone once told me that sins don’t count between Good Friday and Easter.
10. Jigen Daisuke – No running during Good Friday, kasi para ko daw tinatapakan yung mukha ni Jesus.
11. Jorik – A vendor selling picture of The Last Supper: “Bili na kayo, Jesus & company!”
12. Patatas – My lolo always said that agimats get rechared during Good Friday.
13. Smiles_a_lot - During one Holy Week outing, a friend told her boyfriend: “Panahon mo nanaman.” Boyfriend: “Huh? Bakit?” Girlfriend: “Holy Week nanaman, Hudas ka!”
14. Jedi Mstr – No bathing during Good Friday because you wash away the saving blood of Christ.
15. Zac Apron – Pag daw nasugatan during Good Friday, hindi gagaling.
16. YñaKì – Our lolo urged us to read the Bible during Holy Week because it stands for: B-asic I-nstructions B-efore L-eaving E-arth.
17. Boknoi – There was a large wooden cross that everyone was carrying for a few seconds. I tried it but found it too heavy. I told my lola: “Masyadong mabigat!” She smiled, because apparently, mabibigatan ka lang daw dun sa cross kung marami kang kasalanan.
18. Stratocaster – Yung unang betlog na mababasa after Good Friday, liliit.
19. Oracle – I once asked my mom for the reason why there are no TV shows during Holy Week. Her explanation? “Lahat kasi ng artista, nasa Boracay!”
20. Kid Bukid – One Maundy Thursday, we told an old woman doing the Stations of the Cross that she’s doing it wrong (from 12 to 1). So she goes: “Aaah, kaya pala habang tumatagal, napapansin ko, palakas ng palakas si HesuKristo!”