Ode To Durian

Due to insistent public demand, I now post my heretofore never-before-published masterpiece, “Ode To Durian“.  The above picture is the durian in question, possibly the most obscenely delicious durian I’ve ever tasted in my life; so scrumptious, in fact, that it pushed me to pen a poem exalting the virtues of a much maligned fruit.  I literally forgot where I was, while in the gastronomic throes of pleasure.  I had my eyes closed, as the creamy semi-solid mass of sweetness burst into my mouth.  I never tasted another quite like it.  I read a couple of stanzas on air one time, and since then, I’ve been deluged by thousands, nay, billions of requests to finally publish the rest of this future classic.  So without further fanfare, I humbly present to you, an incredible example of high-brow literature, my magnum opus — “Ode To Durian”.

“ODE TO DURIAN”

Ang mabahong durian,

sobra sa sarap yan.

Saksakan ng krema,

di tulad ng plema.

Ito ma’y mabantot,

wag nang mag-second thought.

Kahit amoy nito’y “ew!”

sa lasa’y mababaliw.

Ang lasa’y orgasmic.

Ang amoy, fantastic.

Ang presyo’y walastik.

Yor pingers yu will lik.

Over sa linamnam,

panalong pakiramdam.

Katawan ay iinit,

mula ulo hanggang singit.

Pag bumuka na ang puwet,

you’ll say: “hinog na, shet!”

Puwede nang biyakin,

at ito’y manyakin.

Ipikit mga mata,

bibig ibukaka,

at ito’y supsupin,

ang sarap lasapin.

Wag ka lang didighay,

yor breath amoy bangkay.

And the smell of your sweat,

is like panty na wet.

But it will be worth it,

the taste very sulit.

Durian the smelly fruit:

lasang heaven, amoy utot.