The Best And The Rest 209

In my life, I’ve hired 2 drivers for myself.  The first one was really good, but I had to let him go because he kept advancing his salary that it got to an amount that he couldn’t pay back even if he worked free for 6 months.  So better to just let him go that have the amount rise any further.  The second driver I had to let go because he really stinks.  I tried giving him toothbrushes and toothpastes and soaps, but to no avail.  Plus, I found out he makes chismis to other drivers (like Delle’s for instance) every move I make.  Later I found out, he died of a heart attack while bringing up his new employer’s luggage up a staircase.

March 13, 2009 → The Top Ten Driver Quotes – Astroboy

1. Lekizz – The driver told the passengers: “Pasok pa, maluwag pa yan, parang galing Japan!”
2. Ogs – I rode a tricycle and told the driver: “Lakad na po tayo.” He said: “Gusto mo palang maglakad, eh bakit ka sumakay ng tricycle?”
3. No name – My tita rode a jeep. Tita: “Mama bayad!” Driver: “Ilan po ‘to?” Tita: “Dalawa, may niyog!”
4. Voxby – My friend: “Mama tabi lang po sa may shed!” Driver: “Do you mean, sa may ‘waiting shade’?”
5. Abernathy – Passenger asked the driver to stop because he had to pee. After, he said: Pasensiya na po, kasi maliit talaga pantog ko.” The driver said: “Ako din nga eh, kaya laging nagrereklamo si misis…”
6. Dona – A co-passenger in a jeep told the driver: “Mama para po sa tapat ng kambing!” When the goat started to run, the driver kept following it. When the passenger said: “Para! Lampas na ko!” The driver said: “Hindi ka pa lampas, kasi eto pa yung kambing!”
7. JKB – I paid 500 pesos so the driver asked if I had smaller bills. I said: “Wala na po akong mas maliit.” The driver said: “Ows…pramis? Sige nga, pakapkap!”
8. Geek In Pink – The barker was shouting: “Pito pa! Pito pa!” The a really fat guy rode on the jeep. After the barker shouted: “Lima nalang! Lima nalang!”
9. Lavander lady – There was a lady on the jeep who asked the driver: “Manong, magkano po Quiapo?” Driver: “Bakit, bibilhin mo?”
10. Ogs – Barker at MOA: “Isa nalang, isa nalang…yung walang friend!”
11. Ilagan/Jafruity – Guy: “Mama, bayad!” Driver: “Saan galing?” Guy: “Sa akin.” Driver: “Saan papunta?” Guy: “Sa inyo.”
12. Tikboy – A guard at the gate asked our driver: “Saan po tayo, ser?” Our driver answered: “Kami lang, hindi ka kasama.”
13. Ronald – A foreigner asked: “How far from baguio?” Driver said: “Day here, night there!” (What he meant was, you’ll leave here in the morning, you’ll get there at night)
14. Rexxx – In Pamapanga, there’s a minibus w/c has labels for its seats, on the left side: “DITO MAGAGANDA” and on the right side: “DITO MGA PANGIT”.  When the driver saw that everyone sat on the left side, he said: “Asuuuuuuuuuuuus!”
15. Yunix – A sign on a jeep: “Pag sa jeep naidlip, malayo ang mararating.”
16. Smiles-a-lot – During a sharp turn, the jeepney driver shouted: “Kapit lang po sa matigas!”
17. Oscar dela Hopia – Driver: “Ang di pa nagbabayad magbayad na! Wala nang libre ngayon! Kahit nga ang pag-ibig…may kabayaran na…”
18. Geyp – Taxi driver was telling us he used to be a family driver. When we asked why the shift, she sadly said: “Kasi po naging crush ko sa ma’am…”
19. Chill – Woman said before boarding the jeep: “Palengke po?” Driver answered: “Hindi, jeepney.”
20. Jlaw – Driver: “Upong ipit-itlog lang po!”
21. Denxio – Me: “Isang blumentritt, dalawang recto, at dalawang carriedo.” Driver: “Dine-in o take-out?”
22. Smiles-a-lot – When the driver or the conductor says: “Mag-ingat lang po sa mandurukot!” It means a known pickpocket just boarded the bus or jeepney.
23. RC and Cess – A friend asked the taxi driver, referring to the meter: “Boss magkano patong niyo?” Driver: “Miss ha, naughty ka! Pero para sa yo, libre na patong ko.”
24. Rohan – From a mini-cooper owner: “It takes a real man to drive a small car.”
25. Kikoman – We told the manong driver to drop us off at the bonfire. He said: “Takot ako sa bonfire…naninipsip ng dugo.”
26. Geryl – Woman: “Manong, dadaan kayong ilog?” Driver: “Hindi sa ilog, sa tulay lang.”
27. Specialist – Driver went to a drive-thru and told the cashier: “Miss, isang regular yum with cheese…at isang meron.”
28. RC and Cess – Taxi driver said to the gas boy: “Full tank, 200 pesos.” (Paano kaya yun?)
29. LilRedShingNips – Driver: “Sinong bababa sa IBON?” Nobody had any idea what he meant, until he stopped in front of AVON.
30. Rustom – While I was driving, we saw some monkeys on the road. So I joked to my wife: “Hon o, mga relatives mo!” She answered: “Oo nga no, mga in-laws ko!”

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