Eaten Alive

Sorry to post this at a time when we’re supposed to be celebrating, but this is just so wrong:

Apparently they’ve found a way to cook a fish while keeping the head alive.  In case anyone’s looking for a New Year’s resolution, why not try “less animal cruelty”?  I swear, why inflict so much unnecessary pain?  Some people think it’s okay to torture lower animal life forms, but to me, suffering is all the same.  I lost my appetite just watching this.  I don’t see how people can even eat that.  Stories of boiling pawikan alive and bear paw soup, where the paw of a living bear is dipped in boiling water for a type of soup, because supposedly bears secrete a certain flavor into the water when it’s in extreme pain.  Unbelievable.

Here’s how they do it. (WARNING: MAY BE TOO GRAPHIC FOR WEAK STOMACHS)

The Best And The Rest 206

Posers are, at least on paper, worse than losers.  Because at least losers are tru to themselves.  Posers are losers who are pretending to be otherwise.  But being posers make life difficult for themselves, because they’re living lives that aren’t real.  They’re like Jake Scully, pretending to be something he’s not.  He’s a human posing as Na’vi.  O course like in the movie, if you play your part well, you might actually end up actually being that which you once only pretended to be.

March 9, 2009 → The Top Ten Signs That You Are A Poser – Purplerose

1. Shaggilid – I once had an officemate who would mix a sachet of 3-in-1 coffee in a Starbucks mug every morning. Worse, he would walk around the whole building carrying that Starbucks mug knowing that the building has a Starbucks branch on its ground floor.
2. Jedi Mster – When we asked where we’ll have coffee, a friend said: “Siyempre sa favorite hangout ko, Starbucks! I’ll get a medium kape chino.”
3. Blitzkrieg – Girl 1: “Grabe, I’m the biggest Twilight fan!” Girl 2: “Sige nga, what’s Edward’s last name?” Girl 1: “Duh. Eh di COLLINS!”
4. No name – A pa-sosy ingglisera girl: “Grabe, last minute decision! Super sperm of the moment!”
5. Gandako – A pa-sosy trying hard girl at the supermarket fruit section: “Miss, are your grapes boneless?”
6. Boknoi – A girl at our office: “You know what I hate? People who can’t speak English but who keep speaking it anyway. It’s really my PET BEEF!”
7. Forg – People who always have a DSLR hanging around their neck, but you never see them take even a single shot.
8. Forg – Mga taong pupunta sa Starbucks, not to buy coffee, but to take a photo for her profile pic.
9. Kesibi – I bought this Adidas ADMU and DLSU shirts and jackets. I wear DLSU when I go to Taft and Manila area, and ADMU when I visit the Katipunan area.
10. Chino – In college my evil sister would wear my class ring, para mukha siyang may boyfriend na Lasalista.
11. No name – I once asked a guy wearing a Che Guevarra shirt: “Do you know who that is?” He answered: “I forgot his name, but he’s a rocker!”
12. TwistedSaint – I once heard a know-it-all say, “Let’s watch the Indian movie, Slamdunk Millionaire!”
13. Dindin – On my sister’s profile, she put under “favorite TV show”: Gossip Girls.
14. Mamsy – When the pastor decried the evils of internet cafes, the woman beside me asked: “Oh no, like Starbucks!”
15. Tipsy – We had an officemate who always had the latest gadget like ipod and laptop, pero laging hinihimatay sa gutom. Apparently she’s stopped eating just to keep up her lifestyle.
16. Cha Park – Speaking of UP Manila, the ones who recruited me to a sorority and clamored against brain drain, the ones who’d drag me to rallies, were the first ones who migrated to the U.S. after graduation.
17. RC and Cess – While watching CSI, my know-it-all uncle exclaimed: “Favorite ko yang McGyver!”
18. Dru – Gay guys who claim to be discreet, malayo palang kita mo na ang pilantik ng daliri.
19. Dru – People with expensive laptops hanging out at Starbucks, pero pag tinignan mo, Friendster lang ang sinu-surf.
20. Geyp – Sosy: “Wanna party at Embassy?” Poser: “Sure, I’m in the mood to meet ambassadors!”
21. Smiles-a-lot – I once went out with a sosy girl who ordered wine, then when the drink arrived, said: “Ay, walang ice?”
22. Yunix – Mga todo rockista ang porma, pero pag tinanong mo kung ano pinapakinggan sa ipod — Eminem!
23. Stix – May friend ako araw-araw iba ang kotseng dala sa school. Later we found out, daddy niya pala may-ari ng talyer.
24. Ruelski – A guy with a top of the line DSLR pero pag tinignan mo, naka-full auto mode lang pala.
25. Dexter – I have an officemate who always has the latest phone, pero laging nagpapa-pasa load.
26. Sadakups – Pag pinagmamalaki mong Rusher ka na since 1990.
27. SC – One friend was asking for directions to Greenbelt. Another friend said: “Hello, Greenbelt lang hindi mo pa alam? Katabi ng Greenhills.”
28. Specialist – A sosy girl: “Wanna ride on our yachtboat?”
29. Astroboy – I had a classmate who claimed she knew nothing about local showbiz, pero ang notebook niya: John Lloyd!
30. Jhomar – A friend claims he’s an athiest. Pero pag natatakot, he always says: “Oh my GOD!”
31. Blair – You have an iPhone…pero prepaid naman.
32. Boknoi – I have a new officemate who claims that she is a graduate of UP Manila. Having graduated there myself, I asked her, “O, kumusta naman Padre Faura?”. She replied, “Ahmm, nung huli kaming mag-usap, okay naman daw siya…”

The Annual “Shave The Pussy Bald” Season

It’s that time of year again, when Isis’ fur strangely gets matted like crazy.  The whole year, consistent grooming keeps whatever matted fur in check, but somehow, once November or December rolls in, it seems to get a life of its own and tangles exponentially.  No matter how much hair I get to remove, it comes back the next day twofold.  Then it gets to a point where it gets so unmanageable that even my groomer recommends a lion cut, where everything is shaved off, except the hair on the head and tail.

She always looks relieved once all those solid clumps of hair is shaved off.  But she goes through this “depression” everytime she finds herself hairless.  I don’t know why, maybe because when she licks her fur, there’s nothing there?  Maybe she feels injured, or something’s missing in her anatomy?  Maybe she feels naked?  It lasts for about a couple of days, then she snaps out of it and starts frolicking with the other 2 cats.  Plus, hair starts to grow almost immediately, starting off with the wispy undercoat, followed by the longer, more luxuriant top coat.  This is the 3rd year in a row, if I’m not mistaken, that she’s been shaved clean.  I think I might as well get used to the idea that this will be an annual thing.

The Best And The Rest 205

When love fails, the most common sentiment I hear is: “I’ll never fall in love again!”  And I have heard from so many people how they don’t think they’ll ever fall in love again, the way they fell with whoever it was they broke up with.  Only to hear them gush, when they meet someone new, how the new love is sooo much better than the former one.  I guess such is the nature of love…or lust… or whatever it may be that makes us all crazy when we’re in it.

March 5, 2009 → The Top Ten Ways To Complete The Statement: “The Next Time I Fall In Love…” – Kabalyero

1. Ray Daniels – “…it will be with someone who’s had his heart broken, so he’ll be careful not to break mine.”
2. Secretly-in-love – “…I wont give him my ATM, my credit card PIN and my bank authorization.”
3. Jia – “…it won’t be with my friend’s boyfriend.”
4. McMaki – “…it won’t be with a fictitious character.”
5. WayFinder – “…it will be someone who will love me as his wife, and not just as the mother of his children.”
6. Spice – “…it won’t be with a guy who has a girl for a best friend, because girl best friends don’t know when to step back.”
7. The Wanderer – “…it won’t be with someone who reminds me each day that I’ll burn in hell for eternity because I’m Catholic.”
8. Dumbbeau – “…it won’t be with a student because I almost lost my job the last time.”
9. Aileen/PurpleRose – “…I’ll make sure he loves me more than I love him.”
10. Hot Commodity – “…it won’t be with a woman.”
11. Therapist – “…it won’t be with a bratty, trying hard, social climbing, narcissistic, paranoid, psychotic assumptionista.”
12. Nikchic – “…it won’t be with a perv who thinks sex is the requirement with which to prove my love for him.”
13. Arci – “…it won’t be with a 23-yr-old who acts like a 9-yr-old boy who exhibits symptoms of being gay.”
14. Brics/MaiGensai – “…siguradong bugbog-sarado nanaman ako sa misis ko!”
15. Eien17 – “…it will be with someone who CANNOT be happy without me.”
16. Feb15 – “…it will be with someone na malapit lang sa amin nakatira, kasi mahirap maghatid-sundo ng malayo.”
17. Wilian – “…I will make sure her mother isn’t a psychopath.”
18. Sweetest Evil – “…I will exert more, but not expect more.”
19. RC and Cess – “…hindi na ko mangagako, PROMISE!”
20. Hellgirl – “…hindi na sa lalaking may kikay kit.”
21. shenZumi – “…I’m going to make sure it’s my last.”
22. Yuan – “…I will be brave enough to admit it.”
23. Langgam – “…hindi na sa Chinese na bawal ikasal sa Pilipina, kundi hindi pamamanahan ng hardware store nila.”
24. Xmimix – “…it won’t be with a guy who has ‘short’comings.”
25. Beth – “…we won’t buy a puppy and call it our ‘baby’.”
26. Varick – “…it won’t be with a girl who has a social disease.”
27. FK Gurl – “…it won’t be with someone who has too much baggage.”
28. Eien17 – “…it would not be with someone who’s heart already belongs to someone else.”
29. Gamergirl – “…it will be with a guy who’s really single, and not just feeling single.”
30. Navygurl – “…it won’t be with a journalist who sensationalizes his feelings for me, the way he does with some of his news reports.”
31. Acer – “…it would have to be in another lifetime.”
32. Varick – “…I’ll make sure the girl’s dad is not from the police or the military.”
33. Gorgeous Bitch – “…I’ll try to be a little less bossy, and a little more submissive.”
34. Topsy Turvey – “…I’ll close my legs more, and open my eyes more.”
35. No name – “…siguro basted nanaman.”

TMR Christmas EB

Ever since we started boarding only on the last Saturday of every month, the usually small groups of guests who trickle in on different days, decided to convene on those specific Saturdays, and from there began the “TMR EB”.  It was nothing formal, they just all decided they’d all visit on the same day, so it’ll be more fun.  They started out not really knowing each other, but eventually they became good friends.

So we were pleasantly surprised, that for our first December EB, The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf offered to host our little gathering.  Instead of the usual informal gathering, they brought us all to the Ortigas Park and served their amazing coffee with sumptuous muffins and cookies!

Everyone had their fill because they just kept on refilling the goodies.  Thanks again Coffee Bean, you guys rock!  We also set up microphones in the area, from which we do live feeds, talking to Christi in the booth, giving updates on what we’ve been doing.

Being a post-xmas EB, we also had our little exchange gift.  I got Doraemon’s gift, and Astroboy got mine!  I enjoyed that little activity because it highlighted the spirit of giving and receiving during the season.

And of course after that, everyone just did what we usually do, lots of kulitan, good company, good conversation, and a lot of frolicking.  The girls:

And the boys:

It was just extra fun because we could be as loud as we wanted, since we weren’t in the booth.  We usually try to shush everyone (oftentimes unsuccessfully) once Christi opens the mic to adlib.  But in the open space, we got as rowdy as we wanted to be.  It was also the most attended EB so far.

It’s just nice that we all built a little community, that steadily grows, a unit that feels very much like family, an RX family.  New faces are welcome, and people are readily enjoined to be part of our little meet and greet.  It’s also very nice that we get to put the faces to the people we only  know by their codenames.

So in case you’d like to join us, it happens every last Saturday of the month (unless we’re out of town or on vacation or something).  Like in the lyrics of the theme from the sitcom “Cheers”: “Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name, and they’re always glad you came…”

So again, let me take this opportunity to thank The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf for hosting our little EB, we really enjoyed ourselves immensely; as well as the Ortigas Association for assisting our event and welcoming us with open arms, including the traffic enforcers in the area.

Till next EB!

Christmas Day 2009!

“Roses are reddish
Violets are bluish
If it weren’t for Christmas
We’d all be Jewish.”
~Benny Hill

Merry Christmas, Everyone! May you be blessed with peace, love and good health all year round!

The Best And The Rest 204

Oh dear, I LOVE having crushes. Even at my advanced stage of decomposition, I still get super crushes.  It makes me feel alive.  Even if I’m very much taken, I still indulge in harmless crushing.  So many cuties abound.  Most of them are secret though.  So I’d be mortified if they ever found out that I’m crushing on them.  Eek!

March 3, 2009 → The Top Ten Things To Say If You’re Crush Asks You: “Am I Your Crush?” – Astroboy

1. Tbone – “Feeling ka ha! Di ka naman kagandahan! Ang kapal ng mukha! Oo crush kita…”
2. Bulate Kid – “You’re not my crush…you’re my life.”
3. Jorik – “If I say yes, do I get a free taste?”
4. Boknoi – “Hello? Lumilipad ba ang mga ibon? Lumalangoy ba ang mga isda? Binugbog ba ni Chris Brown si Rihanna?”
5. Gooey Kablooey – “Crush, hindi. Sexy thoughts, oo.”
6. Michelangelo – “What answer would you like to hear?”
7. Specialist – “Yes, I do. You may now kiss the bride.”
8. SC – “Kiss muna…”
9. YJ – “Would it bother you if I said yes?”
10. SPY Shadow – “No, I just like watching you breastfeed.”
11. Loi Pogi – “Pare I’m not gay…bi-curious/straight tripper lang.”
12. DocRod – “Hon naman, debut na ng bunso natin mamaya, tinatanong mo pa rin yan?”
13. Tequila Rose – “Bakit, masama?”
14. Kamyla – “Di ko mawari, tila’y nasa pagitna ako ng bangungot at delubyo…”
15. Rvincent – “Dati, nung babae pa ang gusto ko.”
16. Red – “Maraming namamatay sa maling akala…”
17. Edric – “Anong crush-crush, TUWAD!”
18. Espeks – “Oh no, sex na ba’to?”
19. Loi Pogi – “Hinaan mo yang boses mo pare, baka marinig tayo ni misis…”
20. Pancakes – “If you were me and I were you, would you answer that question and admit to me that I’m your crush?”

Avatar

“Avatar”.  Or as I’d like to call it, “Dances With Aliens”.  Regular readers of this blog would know that I rarely do movie reviews because I haven’t really been touched by a movie in a long time.  Until now.  I just watched it an hour ago, and I’m still a bit stunned, still reeling, actually.  I can’t seem to shake off the hangover that the movie gave me.  Like one of my all time favorites, “Dances With Wolves”, “Avatar” explores the same premise, peppered with eerily similar issues.  An outsider joins another culture, is treated as a barbarian by what he thought were barbarians himself, has to learn the culture, proves himself as a equal, is eventually accepted by the “tribe”, forced to fight his own people because he eventually realized that he was one of the “bad guys”, and eventually abandons the culture he was born in, and adopts the foreign culture in its stead.  The similarities are aplenty, so I guess that’s why I loved both movies.

Many films try to create an alien world, or “the future”, but they often fail.  Somehow, it always looks like the present, trying hard to be the future, or another planet.  Even the aliens in movies like the newer Star Wars series seemed dated, like they came from some bargain bin alien warehouse.  And the alien planets, with the requisite multiple moons, just seemed, well, earthly.  With “Avatar” though, the ideas were refreshingly new, and unexpected.  In this age of sci-fi and comicbooks, CGI, and Steven Spielberg, it’s a tall order to still come up with fresh ideas that still inspire awe.  This movie did it for me.  Many of the aliens and the Pandora landscape made me a child again, bringing me to state that I rarely get into these days: the suspension of disbelief.  I allowed myself to immerse into the movie’s make-believe world, abandoning logic and a critical eye.  Very few movies have whisked me away completely into their worlds — LOTR and Harry Potter for instance — and I thank them for it.

Like I said, it was a film plot that was explored many times before, but it unfolds as if it were the first time I ever encountered it.  There were many highs in the film — the SFX, the acting, the set design, the directing, the fake language, etc., but for me, the strongest point of the movie was the story-telling.  This is my main beef with some of my childhood favorites like George Lucas and Steven Spielberg, it’s as if success somehow dulled their peerless narrative skills.  It’s nice to know that James Cameron still has it.  I remember when “Titanic” went up against the critical darling “L.A. Confidential”, it was sooo uncool to be rooting for the sappy shipwreck story.  But critics be damned, I was cheering “Titanic” on, even if I lost a lot of movie geek cred.  So I’m so glad Cameron delivered…in spades.  For me, my best bellwether for a good movie is if I don’t even notice the SFX, I don’t notice the acting, and all that matters to me is that the good guys win.  It means I don’t see the strings that are masterfully manipulating my emotions.  Be it native american indians or blue aliens, I need to care about these characters for me to enjoy the movies.  Snazzy SFX means nothing if there is no heart beating at the very core of the story.

Suffice it to say, I loved it.  Dramas are easy to get into, because it’s realistic, close to our own personal dramas, and they’re real people.  But when the main characters are giant blue aliens on a fictitious planet, and yet you care for them just as much as you would with real people, then the film succeeded.  It is therefore a foregone conclusion that I will start buying action figures of characters from the movie, which is the ultimate sign that I loved it.  And is it just me, or were the aliens…a bit…you know…sexy?

The Best And The Rest 203

Being on radio, we often forget that there are many people listening. So we end up sharing too much info, regret later that we gave up a little too much details.  when we were just starting, it was taboo to talk about our families, our personal beliefs, etc.  I remember we once fought because I was so upset because Delle said on air that I didn’t know how to play basketball!  Haha what a loser!  But nowadays, we have to stop ourselves from divulging too much.  We are just too willing to spill the proverbial beans.

March 2, 3009 → The Top Ten TMI Quotes – Deja Vu

1. SC- I once overheard a woman making a comment on the bite size hotdogs in a grocery store: “Ay, ang cute nung hotdog, parang pototoy ng mister ko pag namamaga.”
2. Toshimi – During biology class, when we were discussing cell division, one classmate asked: “Ma’am, pag ang sp*rm cell ba nalulon nakakabuntis?” Our teahcer answered: “Siyempre hindi!”  Our classmate sighed: “Whew, buti nalang…”
3. Skimmer – “Kayo bang mga babae umuutot din habang umiihi?”
4. Popoy – When we asked an officemate (who is married to a seaman) why she was resigning, she said: “Para gumawa ng baby. Kasi mas madalas pa niya sampahan ang barko kesa sa akin.”
5. Ralph Waldo – I was trying to call an officemate but he wasn’t answering. Finally he answered, and when I asked what took him so long, he said: “Nakabaon pa eh…”
6. Boknoi – At the office, a girl was breating her boyfriend: “Puro ka trabaho! Buti pa yang keyboard mo, napipindot mo!”
7. Sid – “Asawa ko once a week lang mag-pupu. Kaya kailangang kutsilyohin muna bago ma-flush!”
8. Dejhavu – My friend who just gave birth, was changing the diaper of her son. When I saw how well-endowed her son was, I joked: “Wow, ang laki ng pututoy!” She said: “Manang-mana sa daddy!” What made it awkward was the fact that her husband was right there with us.
9. Yñaki – My nephew blurted out after exiting the toilet: “Wow, ganun pala itsura ng roundworm!”
10. RC and Cess – While at a car service center, I saw a really nice car. So I asked the guy who was driving it: “Kotse mo?” He answered: “Hindi, kotse ng kabit ko.”
11. Astroboy – From a trannie wearing a mini-skirt: “Hindi na baleng makita ang legs, wag lang ang eggs!”
12. Echosero – During lunch, an officemate blurted out of nowhere: “Pag umiihi ba kayo, nagsi-split din into two yung wiwi niyo?”
13. Coachdanny – A friend once said: “Nagpa-wax na ko kasi nabibilaukan na boyfriend ko…”
14. Ang Manunusok – During a talk on nutrition, somebody said: “Maganda ang pineapple juice! Ang husband ko laging umiinom niyan, kaya matamis ang sp*rm niya!”
15. Edric – At a market, a woman said to her kumare: “Tignan mo yung patatas, parang ganyan ang itlog ng ister ko.” The kumare said: “Ganyan kalaki?” The woman said: “Hindi, ganyan kadumi.”
16. Potpot – When my tita got home she angrily asked my tito if he was getting her texts because he wasn’t answering. My tito said: “Oo, vibrate nga ng vibrate ang cellphone ko eh! Nakikiliti na nga ang bird ko!”
17. Maximo – When the wife said: “Hon ang taba nung tilapia!” Her husband replied: “Oo nga, sintaba nung iyo…”
18. Sandstorm – During our alumni homecoming, our classmate introduced the short guy she was with: “My little husband with a big d*ck.” (CHICO: big duck?)
19. Rod – When we asked a gym-mate why one arm was more muscular than the other, he said: “Mahilig kasi ako mag-vitamin ‘J’.”
20. Echosero – When I saw my professor whose wife just gave birth, I said: “Sir, tumataba yata tayo!” He answered: “Alangan namang si baby lang ang dumedede…”

RX Xmas Party 2009

Last night we had our RX Christmas party and it’s the best one we’ve had in a looong time, perhaps even of all time.  For some strange reason, everyone really prepared for the xmas presentation, which we usually just do for the sake of complying, with very little preparation and even less inspiration.  But this year, each team really put their hearts and minds into it, without even knowing that the others were also stepping up their game.  So the presentations, which are usually comprised of a parade of embarrassments, all turned out better than what anyone ever expected.  Even the bosses were shocked at how much everyone prepared.  The jocks were divided into two teams: Prod1 headed by Rico Robles, with Delamar, Francesca, Danielle, Gelli, and Sandy, and Prod2 headed by Christi, with Gino, Tom, Hazel, Cerah, and myself.  They had such a hard time awarding the best presentation, that for the first time, they decided to give a cash prize instead!  Our team lost, but we made it as a finalist.  Plus, for the first time in my many years in RX, I won as best male performer, ehem, ehem.  But as Jude Rocha tweeted earlier, we can’t really give details or post the more revealing photos because it involved some “cross-dressing” and “nudity”.  If there’s anything RX people know how to do is to party hard!

Plus, our bosses gave us some really nice surprises which got everyone jumping up and down for joy!  Let’s just say, everyone felt so blessed for having such a good year despite the economic crunch.  It’s been a while since we got so excited and deliriously happy, like kids who got what they wanted from Santa on Christmas morning.  So to our bosses: THANK YOU from the bottom of our hearts!

It was just a feel-good night for us, something we all really needed.  Management appreciated the team, and the team appreciated the bosses.  There was a lot of love going around.  I guess I don’t say it often enough, but I love my job and I feel great that I’m part of a GREAT radio team!

P.S. The day after, we had a stick-on at Bonifacio High Street and we were all either hungover, sleep-deprived, or both, but we trooped to work, like the happy soldiers that we are.  To give you a sneak peek of our team’s performance, here’s a video @cherrythegreat took while we were monkeying around.