The Best And The Rest 196

I love any Top Ten topic that involves movie titles.  It’s my guilty pleasure.  Sometimes a good title can spell the difference between a hit and a flop.  Did you know that Julia Robert’s “Pretty Woman” was originally given the title: “3000″, because this was the amount in dollars you had to pay if you wanted her for the night.  Test audiences thought, based on that title, that the movie was about hookers from the moon, so they scrapped it.

February 10, 2009 → The Top Ten Worst Titles For A Romantic Movie – Oscar Dela Hopia

1. No name – “Bahay-Bata Ko, Galawin Mo”
2. Esacada/Eric – “Ang Huling Landi Ni Lola”
3. Vanie – “Ihi Na Nga Lang Ang Pahinga, Binobosohan Pa”
4. Hopeless Jec – “Saan Ka Man Naroroon…Diyan Ka Na Lang”
5. Gerver – “Inday, Magkano Pakwan Sa ‘Yo?”
6. Loi Pogi – “Nung Magalit Ang Ibon, Sumikip Ang Pantalon”
7. Daboy Wonder – “Tatlong Putok Sa Pulang Kumot”
8. Jerome – “Walang Baklang Pangit Sa Lalaking Gipit”
9. Tarlakenyo – “Nangawit Ang Panga”
10. Kid Bukid – “Pusod, Puson, Pusit!”
11. The Wanderer – “Agahan (Iyo Ang Hotdog, Aking Ang Itlog)”
12. SC – “Ang Bading Na Ayaw Sa Saging”
13. RC and Cess – “Haplos Ng Kamay Na Pasmado”
14. SPY Shadow – “Akala Ko’y Utot Lamang”
15. Jose de vengenge – “Tayo’y Maglasing, Kumpare Kong Guwaping”
16. Escada – “Halika, Wag Kang Lalapit”
17. Greg/Anto – “Mahalin Mo Ko, Babaeng Cheapipay”
18. Geyp – Ang Kuwento Ni Dodong Masahista (Lawayan Mo, Baka Mausog)”
19. YñaKì – “Mga Halinghing At Buntong-Hininga Sa Likod Ng Palikuran Ng Mababang Paaralan Ng Sitio Masinsin”
20. Alias Pusa – “Tea, Tikoy, Para Sa ‘Yo”

Videos I Like 8

With New Moon fever in full effect, and with all the New Moon spoofs going around on YouTube, this is my hands-down favorite.

Gaga is truly the perfect word to describe Lady Gaga.  The video for her latest song, from her repackaged first album, The Fame Monster, the bizarre Bad Romance.  I swear, this video reminds me of some of my more whacked out dreams.  She’s crazy, and I wouldn’t have her any other way.  What a trip.

And since I’m in a Gaga mood, here’s Lady Gaga again, this time featured in the Beyonce song Video Phone.  It’s still from her I Am…Sasha Fierce album, but Like Fame Monster, Beyonce’s album will be repackaged into a Platinum Edition, and it’s there where the version with Lady Gaga will be found.  It’s nice seeing them together in one video.  Never thought I’d see the day.  It’s like an explosion of gay icon-ness!  It’s like a drag queen duet.

Sabang, Palawan (The Experience)

What we enjoyed most of the time we were in Sabang, was the sun, the sand, the surf.  I don’t think we’ve ever soaked in the Philippines shores as much as we did here.  The conditions were ideal: no rocks beneath our feet, just fine powdery sand, warm water temperatures, and rollicking waves that reduced us to little kids, squealing in delight as the waves pounded us silly.

But outside of frying under the sun like rows of daing, our trip had 2 highlights: The Puerto Prinsesa Subterranean River National Park (Underground River) and the Mangrove Paddle Boat Tour.  We did the Underground River first.  From the resort, we did a scenic 5-minute walk along the beach to the port, then we took a short, maybe 5-10 minute boat ride to the River.  On the boat, I met a lovely little puppy that I cuddled with all throughout the trip.

When we got there, from the shore, you do a super short hike to the mouth of the cave, and what greets you is a beautiful scene, especially for us, because we were the very first visitors for the day:

No amount of pictures could do justice to how spectacular it looks inside.  No wonder it’s our only finalist to make it to the New 7 Wonders of Nature.  Speaking of, in case you might want to vote, click here.  Trying to take a picture of one rock or stalagmite or stalactite inside the cave would be taking taking a photo of half a toenail of a person: it just do the whole any justice.  But anyway, here are a couple that I took anyway:

The “Cathedral”

Part of the “vegetable section” (I think this is the pechay?)

One of the many bats inside the cave. They hang upside down on the rocky cliffs.

The other highlight of the trip was the Mangrove Paddle Boat Tour, with the inimitable and unforgettable Lady Mangrove.

Not to be confused with Lady Gaga, Lady Mangrove is one of many valiant volunteers who patrol the ecological treasure trove that is the mangrove.  Mangroves are essential to the ecology because it’s like the nursery of many animals and fish.  Without it, the ecology will be crippled irreparably.  Lady Mangrove with a couple of other volunteers subsist on the 100 pesos per visitor fee they collect.  We left a bigger amount to help them out because they do valuable work that we should all be thankful for.  They do the dirty job that few of us would undertake as our lot in life.  I really hope the government helps out these little not-so-well known nature sites.  Scientists from the U.S., Africa, and Europe have all been amazed at what they call one of the oldest mangroves in the world.  And they say the mangroves here, called bakawan locally, are unique in all the world.  They are candle-shaped, as opposed to the more common branchier types found everywhere else.  Plus, they grow tall as the trees in a primary forest, not short like the other mangroves I’ve seen.  Plus, they reflect beautifully on the calm water surface:

We also saw different animals like birds, snakes and monitor lizards or bayawak, like this one we found resting on a branch:

Another plentiful denizen of the mangroves are the mudskippers.  They litter the banks of the river in droves!  And they don’t seem to be scared of humans.  They don’t skip away until you’re really close.  Lady Mangrove said they also eat the mudskippers as part of their regular diet.

And at the end of the tour, Lady Mangrove even sings a song she wrote to cap off the tour. I have a video of it, and I was supposed to post it, but I can’t seem to rotate the video.  I recorded it vertically, but my camera recorded it sideways.  Anyone who can help me rotate it so you guys don’t have to watch it sideways?  I can seem to rotate it either on iPhoto or even YouTube.  Anyway, another nice perk after taking the tour, is that every visitor gets to plant a baby bakawan on the shores of the mangrove during low tide, and as the years pass, it will take root and be part of the whole mangrove network.  Nice touch.

And then we get to the wood worm.  Known as tamilok locally, it’s a delicacy that’s insanely popular in the area.  Visitors are offered to try and eat a bite or two of the supposed aphrodisiac.  It’s called a wood worm, but Lady Mangrove said it’s actually closer to shellfish, like oysters.  They just wash the tamilok, put it in some vinegar, maybe sprinkle some salt, and off you go!

You’ll find the wood worms burrowed in rotting wood, specifically bakawan that have since fallen and died.  Once the wood is chopped open, the tamilok instantly dies.  You can then pull out the alien-looking worm easily from the groove it has gored into the wood.  We got a live demo on how to find tamilok in the wild.  lady mangrove found a branch in a dead stump, chopped it open, and true enough there was one big fat one inside, which died once the air hit it.

It’s got a hard helmet-like head that has what looks to me like a beak-like mouth, and a scissor-like tail that’s pretty sharp.  It looks really gross (and in this particular picture, slightly obscene), therefore I refused to taste it.  I have worm phobia so it took everything in me to even just touch it, much less eat it.  Delle, on the other hand, decided to try it.

She was just posing here, she didn’t eat the whole thing.  They just cut a portion of it, she swished it around some vinegar, put some rock salt, and here’s her actual moment of truth:

Blech.  No thank you.  They said it tasted like gelatinous oysters.  *faints*

(Next: The Pictures)

Sabang, Palawan (The Resort)

The name of the resort is Daluyon Beach and Mountain Resort, mainly because it’s flanked by a beach one one side and mountains on the other.  When we got there, it wasn’t as readily impressive as the other Palawan island resorts we’ve been to like Club Noah, Club Paradise, El Nido and Dos Palmas.  With the big ones, you’d find yourself open-mouthed at how expansive and expensive the whole place looks like.  Daluyon looked more homey, more rustic, more small scale, but our 4-day stay proved that first impressions aren’t always accurate.

The cottages were quite nice, and like I said earlier, not as luxurious as the major resorts, but very much comfortable.  But as the days wore on, we felt more and more at home.  This resort crept up on us like we never expected, but more on that next post, when I describe our experiences there.  For now I’ll stick to talking just about the resort.

The bedroom had a nice big bed (king or queen size, I think?) and good quality sheets and pillows.  There was air-conditioning and a ceiling fan, a ref, and all the amenities you expect in a resort.

And since we got a suite, adjacent to the bedroom is a living room area, which opens straight into the veranda.  And since we were on the second floor, it looks out to a nice view of the resort grounds , the beachside bar, and the ocean.  Here’s how the view looks from our veranda:

The resort also has a very tropical path from the front desk that leads out into the expansive beach front:

And speaking of the beach, I used the word expansive because I couldn’t think of a better word to describe how wide the patch of sand is before you hit the water.  The beach in Boracay suddenly looks so sparse compared to the beach in Sabang.  The sand doesn’t look impressive from afar, mainly because of it’s color.  It’s definitely not white, because it has a distinctly brownish hue.  But what really shocked us was how incredibly fine the sand was.  The moment our feet touched the sand, we realized how powdery fine the texture was.  Even if your feet get coated with the grains, you hardly feel it because of how minuscule the sand was.  And because the sand is so fine, it gets easily packed and cakey when wet. It’s the perfect surface to walk on, run in, do sports, because it’s even, not wavey like less compact sand.

And what makes this particular beach so memorable for us was the waves.  There were so many and they get pretty high.  Not high enough to surf in, but definitely good enough to boogie board in.  And unlike in Calicoan in Samar, the bottom is pure sand, the same fine sand, all throughout, for as far as you can walk.  In Samar, the bottom was all rock, so urchins abounded.  We never got completely comfortable because one wrong fall and you can end up impaled on the urchins’ spikes.  Not here though, it’s all flat sand, so we were frolicking like kids in the high waves.  But like I said, more on that later.  How high were the waves?  Here’s a picture of me swallowed whole by one big one.  It took me from behind, and yes, that’s me inside the wave:

And if the salty brine of the unruly shores is not your cup of tea, they also have a nice infinity pool, that overlooks the mountains at the back of the resort.  It’s the type of pool we love, because it’s not covered in tiles, instead it’s some sort of rough granite finish that feels warm to the touch and not slippery like the cold tiles of usual pools.  They also painted the bottom blue, so it has this intense unreal rich blue that reflects well with the blue skies.  It’s such a relaxing place to chill if you find the pounding surf too stressful for your activity levels.

The other ace up this resort’s sleeve is the staff.  They have a wonderful staff who were more than eager to do what they can to make your stay a pleasant one.  There’s Chris and Gibs the chirpy waiters; Leslie, the chatty bartender; Eugene, the funny tour guide, the guy who specially prepared fresh buko for me (sorry I forgot his name) and many others.  Most of them were friendly, ready to help, and readily offered a smile when they saw you.  With each day we spent at Daluyon, we found ourselves loving the resort more and more.  It was like an artichoke, you discover its pleasures layer by layer.  It wasn’t love at first sight, but it was more a case of “I love you more today than yesterday, but not as much as tomorrow.”  In fact, we loved it so much that we’re already planning a return trip as soon as we can.

(Up next: The Experience)

The Best And The Rest 195

I was never into dating.  Formal dating?  I probably went on less than 5 in my entire life.  So I’m clueless on many of the minutiae of the art of dating.  So I’ll let you guys loose on this one.  Plus, it was timely because we did it Valentine month this year.

February 9, 2009 → The Top Ten Date Quotes – Oscar Dela Hopia/Specialist

1. Tyron – “What’s better than 12 roses on a piano? Tulips on an organ.”
2. Bernadette – I once told my date what the nuns in our school told us: “BBBBBBB – Books before boys because boys bring babies.”
3. Astroboy – “Kung papipiliin ka ng kakainin mamaya, puwede ako nalang?”
4. Taurean Tiger – My now-husband asked me on our first date: “How many kids do you want us to have?”
5. Frederique – “Alam mo ang ayaw ko sa iyo? Pag wala ka.”
6. No name – “The only thing I want to change about you…is your last name.”
7. ian024 – “My doctor gave me only 2 options regarding my heart condition: I.C.U. or you see me.”
8. Kian – “After our exam, puwede ako naman ang sagutin mo?”
9. Lovely Nuisance – “An officemate has been bugging me for a date for the longest time. Finally I agreed. At the resto, after looking at the menu, he told me: “Puwede KKB?”
10. Nobag – Laro tayo, kahit ano, wag lang taguan. Kasi a girl like you is hard to find.”
11. Jeka – “Kung aywa mo kong murahin…mahalin mo nalang ako.”
12. Frederique – “Sana dalawa ang puso ko. Para pag dinurog mo yung isa, may isa pa akong iaalay sa iyo.”
13. Pancakes – After the date. Girl: “Are you going to kiss me, or will I lie in my diary?”
14. Pancakes – Boy: “Can I borrow your cellphone? I promised my mom I’d call her once I meet my dream girl.”
15. Alias Pusa – At the movies, the guy saw that the theater was packed. He asked the girl: “Okay ka lang sa nakatayo?” The girl misunderstood the question and answered: “Kahit patuwad, puwede ako!”
16. Reggie – I told my then girlfriend (now wife) how sexy she was, but she thought I was being bolero because she was chubby then. I told her: “You’re about as perfect as I need you to be.”
17. Joao – “Don’t be late for a date or you’ll debate with your date.”
18. Boknoi – I once dated a homeless woman. She used to say: “It’s easy to convince me to stay the night…”
19. RC and Cess – “Don’t date a guy who reads the menu like the Chinese, from right to left. Because he’s checking the price first.”
20. Ang pagbAbAlik ng dating nasira at nangak0ng bAbA – “You’re like the moon; I’d like to see you tonight.”
21. Astroboy – “I’m a little bit like coffee: a litlle sweet, a little bitter, but best when hot.”
22. Carmela – “My life without you is like an unsharpened pencil: it’s pointless.”
23. Bluegrey – Babala sa mga babaeng naghahanap ng date: “Sa mga panahong ito, ruler nalang ang straight.”
24. Mr. Perk – “The best first date is a guy who touches nothing but your heart.”
25. Cecil of BPI – “Never invite last-minute invites for a date. You could simply be a last-minute replacement because the first choice turned him down.”
26. Chellix – Someone actually told me this: “Nakakahilo pala, sa iyo kasi umiikot ang mundo ke eh.”
27. Pretty Kitty/Zutil – “Sana assignment ka, para puwede kitang i-take home.”
28. Pipit – “Love isn’t blind, kasi nahanap kita.”
29. RC and Cess – “Para kang utot, tahimik pero malakas ang dating.”
30. Raxiboy – “Kung ibibigay ko sa yo ang manibela ng puso ko, ibubunggo mo ba sa pader ng kabiguan?”
31. Sponge Lola – “My favorite word for us is “united”, because it starts with U-N-I.
32. Pulanglangit – I once asked a date: “Do you have a pet peeve?” She answered: “Wala. Aso, meron.”
33. Boknoi – Took my date to McDo. When she couldn’t decide on what to order, the counter person suggested: “Fillet-o-fish?” My date answered: “Fillet o fish? Uhm…sige fillet nalang.”

Manny Pacquiao

The man is unstoppable. And the man is Filipino.  We really NEED someone like Manny Pacquiao to help remind us of our potential as a nation.  We’ve become so cynical and self-deprecating about being Pinoy that it’s refreshing for a change to have that immense feeling of national pride washing over our collective jadedness, and all because of a boxer, one, many now call the greatest EVER.  Obviously it has mostly to do with the superhuman physical feats he achieved as an athlete.  But other than that, Manny unites us as a nation, even if just for a few minutes, to root for and cheer on a countryman punching away at his opponent.

I don’t know a lot about boxing, but I am nonetheless awed by the magnitude of this man’s personality whose herculean achievements boggle the mind.  Even if he weren’t a Filipino, you’d be agog at how he did what he did; him being Filipino makes it twice as sweet.  Even if down the road, should he falter on the pedestal we’ve put him on as our untarnished hero, no one can ever take away what he already gave us.  Maybe he’ll enter politics, maybe some scandal will smear his unsoiled record, maybe he’ll go down the sad road many former famous boxers went, in case the story ends anything less than happily ever after, that will have to be weighed and judged separate from what he’s done up until now.

We love to poke fun at him, but it’s never to disrespect him; it’s always in a fond way, the way we’d needle a member of the barkada, for instance.  So in this vein, because I’ve emptied my bag of superlatives talking about this greatest boxer and greatest Filipino athlete ever (there goes my last two), I just need to end this orgy of praise on a lighter note.  One of the best “Pacquiao Art” I’ve seen in a long time marries two cultural juggernauts.  Nuff said:

The Best And The Rest 194

Whenever I’m on vacation, I really see lots of hot people.  And it really becomes a game of sorts, trying to figure out who’s single and who’s taken.  Sometimes, even if they’re with someone, you try to read their body language if they’re together or just friends.  There are signs, you just need to know how to identify them.

February 6, 2009 → The Top Ten Signs That Someone Is Single Or Taken – King Of Hearts

1. Maomao – When you say “Queensland”, ang alam ng single: butter, ang alam ng taken: motel.
2. Cheyenne – Marries OFW’s always say they’re “hiwalay” whenever they’re abroad.
3. Mulder’s Luvr – They’re single if they’re updated with all the TV shows.  They have all the time to watch TV.
4. Kayee – My friends know this: Pag sumasama ako sa inuman, I’m single. Pag di ako sumasama sa inuman, I’m taken.
5. Warriorpoet – Sa gimik, yung mga taken, tingin ng tingin sa relo.  Ang mga single, walang pakialam sa oras.
6. Lui – People who are taken move away when they text.
7. Espeks – If someone only wants to meet up with you on their own preferred time, doesn’t want anything unscheduled, always decides where you’ll go, he is taken.
8. Aelfeine – If one forearm is bigger than the other, then a guy is single.
9. Espeks/Acer – If a woman’s status is, “it’s complicated”, she’s taken. Either taken, or taken for granted.
10. Chefchefan – Single: idealistic. Taken: realistic.
11. Red – Single: always game. Taken: scheduled. Married: masuwerte na kung meron.
12. SC/Astroboy – Single: naniniwala pa rin sa destiny.
13. Bugabuga – Single: game na game! Taken: game over.
14. Ram – Ang single, ayaw sa bigote kasi madumi tignan. Ang taken, mahilig sa bigote kasi nakakakiliti.
15. Forg – People who whine about how Valentines has become a commercialized holiday for fools…are usually single.
16. Metrogirl/Abay – If he only takes your calls during office hours, he’s taken
17. Acer – People who take you out for Valentines on the 13th or the 15th, are taken.
18. Jhoy – If you borrow your date’s phone, and his inbox and sent item are empty, he’s taken.
19. Randacs8/SPY Shadow – Single pa pag ang hawak sa saging thumb at forefinger lang.
20. Macky Karabugs – Ang single pag suweldo, derecho sa mall. Ang taken pag suweldo, derecho sa grocery.
21. Purple – I learnd this from How I Met Your Mother: Single Stamina and Couples Coma. In a party, single people have the stamina to mingle. Couples sit down, wondering why they got up in the first place to go to a stupid party.

I’m Back (For The 2nd Time)!

Grabe, after a 2-part, 8-day vacation, I’m back in Manila!  Landed about 7-ish, and didn’t stop my day there.  Did all the chores that leaving for 8 days needed doing.  I’m pooped, I tell you.  It was relaxing and a hell of a holiday, but somehow, it left me drained physically and a bit, emotionally.  Wow, it’s a major changing of gears.  I’m back in my room, in front of my computer, and I’m typing like a zombie (versus plants?).  I feel a bit lost, a bit discombobulated, a bit floating in limbo.  But glad to see everything’s okay back home, family, dogs, cats, etc.  I just need to get my city groove back.  I need to relearn to wear footwear again, after walking barefoot on the sand for about a week.  Incredible experience, and my head is still spinning.  Am I blabbering incoherently?  Sorry, stream of consciousness here.  Oh well, I’ll post something saner tomorrow!  Maybe a Top Ten?  Let’s see.  Wow. I’m having a through the looking glass moment.  Or Narnia.  Only I’m just one.  And still the same age.  But darker.  And not fatter.  I better stop typing and take a nap…

Palawan Teaser

Just got home, in time to unpack and repack, because tomorrow, we’re off on the 2nd leg of our vacation.  So obviously, I can’t do a full post yet.  With tons of photos to go through, all three cameras, and all 4 memory cards, I have my work cut out for me.  But I have time to post just a couple of pics, and no, to the smart alecks out there, this is not an entry to the ugly pics contest, this was taken just yesterday, when we visited the mangroves in Sabang.  I’m holding a woodworm, or tamilok, and no, I didn’t eat it.  I just posed with it because the idea of putting it in my mouth is dizzyingly repulsive to me.  I have a worm phobia, so just being able to hold it is a HUGE step for me.  Delle ate a piece of it though, with vinegar and a bit of salt.  Gross.  So many stories, so many pictures, but it will all have to wait until after we come back from the second leg of our holiday.

Delle and I will go separate ways though, she will go one destination, while I go somewhere else.  Tell you about it when we return.

Palawan Update

Wow, it’s been an amazing vacation so far.  It’s just leg 1 of the holiday so far, but we’ve had a blast.  Visiting the subterranean river national park, a mangrove tour, where Delle ate a wood worm, and an amazing beach.  I actually can’t wait to post my pics.  By tomorrow we’ll be back in Manila, but by Wednesday we’re off again for leg 2 of our vacation.  Talk about de-stressing.  I’ve never been so relaxed in a long time.  If we didn’t have a second stage, I’d be depressed by now because holiday’s over.  Thanks goodness it’s just the first half.  I also have to tell you about Lady Mangrove, no relation to Lady Gaga.  I looove Palawan, it’s really my favorite place in the Philippines.  It doesn’t matter which part, I’ve been amazed with it’s beauty every time.  I caught Delle’s cold though, so I had a sore throat the first day and now I’m coughinjg a bit, but it’s all good, bacause the ocean breeze and the salt water is doing me wonders.  And the sun!  The weather’s been amazing and I’m so nognog already.  Haaay…times like these, I love my life.