The Best And The Rest 153

In my whole life, I’ve only agreed to one EB.  It was okay, relatively painless, but I swore never to do it again.  To much stress, and for me, not worth the aggravation. But I guess it’s something other people enjoy.  But group EB’s I’m pretty cool with.  I’m talking more of the one-on-one EB’s. Not my thing.

November 14, 2008 → The Top Ten EyeBall Moments – Astroboy

1. Boknoi – I had a chatmate whose codename was CZ. I asked her what CZ stands for. She said that it stands for Catherine Zeta because most of her friends say that she’s a deadringer for the said actress. When it was time for us to EB, three things came to my mind: (1) her friends are blind, (2) her friends are liars, and (3) she looks more like Catherine Cita Astals (comedienne turned councilor of manila) than Catherine Zeta Jones.
2. A.d.i.d.a.s. – During one EB, my date kept on staying on my right. Finally I asked her why she did that,  and she cutely answered that she had a pimple on her right cheek.
3. Riza – A chatmate said he has “rosy cheeks”. I thought I hit the jackpot for bagging a mestizo.  When I finally saw him, he had a huge red balat on his left cheek.
4. Haegan – When I met my chatmate in a fastfood, she ordered food for 5. She said iuuwi lang niya muna sa bahay before we “toot toot”. When she got off at her place to frop off the food, I told the taxi driver, “Bilis manong, itakbo mo na!”
5. Darwin – I had a chatmate named Nyoy. When I met him I found out why: Mukha siyang ab-nyoy.
6. Noel – Eyeball text moment: “San na u? D2 na me! Nakared aku!”
7. Astroboy – During one of the forum rushers EBs, I was one of the 1st to arrive. While waitng, a guy w/ a big voice suddenly holds my shoulders & said, “Miss, this table is reserved for perverts.” I got so scared, yun pala it was one of the rushers whom I haven’t met yet, but who recognized me.
8. Whachacoco – Sa isang EB naming mga ragnarok players, I was shocked to find out that one of my female profs was there.
9. Chinese Cowboy – I was shocked to see in one EB, a girl I thought was pretty, but turned out looking like Madame Auring!
10. Chinese Cowboy – I had a friend who met a hot girl at an EB, they had sex, then he found out she gave him a disease.
11. Dexter’s Lab – During one of the EBs with pba.ph (PHIL BASKETBALL ASSOCIATION) forum members, I was able to meet some of the popular PBA players.
12. Purple – I’ve always had a huge crush on Luis Manzano. One day I decided to search for his email ad everywhere online, found it, added him on my IM, and I took a chance. He accepted my invitation and was very friendly when we talked online. Eventually I decided to meet him and went to ABS-CBN. I was nervous but he made me feel like we already knew each other since we’ve been chatting. Now we’re friends. Best EB ever.
13. Angus – A few years ago, I got a girlfriend through text. Her voice was okay and her picture was okay. But when I met her, she made me wish I was dead: she looked like an orc compared to her picture. Hideous and fake. The relationship lasted no more than 24 hours.
14. Maximo – Tinanong ako ng girl, “Akala ko ba 5’7″ ka, eh bakit ang liit mo?” Ang sabi ko, “Yung height ko 5 feet, pero yung akin, 7 inches.” After that, naka-ngiti na siya abot hanggang tenga.
15. Ms. Pisces – A textmate said he looked like Jericho Rosales. When I met him, kamuha nga niya si Echo – Echo na binugbog.

99 Balloons

When we visited our barkada couple who are brand new parents, they showed us this video.  Weird, because there seems to be a pervading cloud of death in the air, not just in the world, or in the country, but even in my family’s life.  Of course there was Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, Billy Mays and Karl Malden, all within a week, then 2 of my sister’s dearest friends dying just a day apart, and now, former President, the beloved Cory Aquino fighting for her life, it was just weird to be watching a video, again with death playing a lead role.

I don’t even try to read anything into it, or over-process it, I just try to write it off as a simple fact of life, like birth, like rain, like earthquakes.  It’s just freaking me out I guess, having so many in a row.  Death knocks at every door, but we never think it’ll knock on ours.  It’s unnerving when it knocks on doors of people we know or people close to us.  We love celebrating life, but we look away when its ungainly twin rears its unwelcome head.  I’m no exception.

Herbal Medicine

The last blood test I had showed that I have high cholesterol levels and alarming levels of SGOT and SGPT, whatever those are, so I had little choice but to come back to our family doctor.

Now the thing is, we’re not Chinese, but ever since my dad died in 1996, we’ve been going to practitioners of Chinese traditional medicine, more specifically, our herbalist and our acupuncturist.  Since then , every time we get sick, we troop to Binondo for our medicinal herbs which we boil to make tea.  Now, we’re not talking English Breakfast, Earl Grey, Oolong, or or some fancy dinner tea, but hardcore,muddy, boiled-ashtray tasting tea.  Each person is prescribed a different set of herbs, depending on what ails you.  The herbs range from leaves, twigs, barks, stems, branches, roots, berries, dried fruits, and even non-herbs like insects and shellfish and other hell-knows-what.  And the taste after it’s boiled ranges from mildly pungent to outright vomit-inducing.  But after 13 years of drinking the different brews and concoctions, we’ve pretty much gotten used to it.  I used to retch every time I drank it, needing candy or sweet juice as chaser to stamp out the foul taste of the medicinal potion.  Even the whole kitchen reeks of what I can only describe in the vernacular as, “pinakuluang takong ng laos na bold star”.

So after being remiss in visiting our herbalist, I was back.  He gave me a “tsk, tsk” for being M.I.A. for so long, only to return damaged without his elixirs, but it’s all good.  Maybe to punish me he gave me extra nasty herbs, but I’m willing to take it like a man.  He said my liver was weak and my cholesterol was really bad.  So here’s a picture of my herbs for this week:

It’s got some vine-looking things, some twigs, some tree bark, some wood shavings, some cork-looking thingy, some roots, and most disturbing of all, something that can only be described as dried and flattened cow dung.  I’m sure it’s not (I hope it’s not!), but it looks like it.  Oh well, bottoms up! Salud!