The Best And The Rest 134

Especially in the era of blogs and Facebook and Twitter, it’s easy to share too much.  Even with us on radio, sometimes we forget that we’re actually talking on air, with LOTS of people listening.  We reveal stuff about ourselves, our family, our dirty laundry, that we regret, sometimes, the moment it escapes our lips.

October 6, 2008 → The Top Ten TMI Moments

1. Dru – I was interviewing someone and asked him if he had any operations done in the past. He replied, “Nagpalagay po ako ng bolitas sa ari.”
2. Jose de vengenge – A judge asked the rape victim: “Gaano ka katagal ginahasa?” The victim replied: “Depende po, kasama na po ba yung foreplay at yosi pagkatapos?”
3. Lemual – During a consti class, our instructor asked myclassmate about properties. The instructor said: “Mr. Alagao, how big is your property?” He answered, “Uhm, sir, 7 inches?”
4. Cookie – During a “tell us something about yourself” icebreaker at the office, one new co-worker said: “Feminine wash ang shampoo ko kasi mabango.” *cricket* *cricket*
5. No name – When we visited our techer in his house, we got lost. So we asked one guy and asked him if he knew our teacher, and he said: “Alin, yung bakla?” We were shocked because we didn’t know.
6. Cheyenne – When we asked our inaanak: “Paano ka matulog?” He answered: “Nakatagilid. Pero si daddy nakahawak sa dodo ni mommy!”
7. House of Poports – When I asked a friend if she wanted to have lunch, she told me: “Green pa plema ko eh!”
8. Kabodskie – During a rape trial, the victim said: “Tapos, kinan…kinan…” Judge said: “Gumamit ka ng metaphor kung di mo kayang sabihin.” Victim: “Tapos, minetaphor niya ko ng minetaphor!”
9. Jose de vengenge – In a class, a student suddenly shouted: “Aray!” So the teacher asked: “What’s wrong?” The clasmate said: “Sorry ma’am, may naipit lang na buhok sa zipper…”
10. Dru – Back in college, my class went camping in Batangas. The ff morning as she got out of our tent, my girlfriend at the time blurted out: “Hindi siya bading!”
11. Skint – When a classmate asked a male professor how his birthday was, he blurted out without thinking: “Ayun, mga friends ko, dinalhan ako ng lalaki…” He stopped when he realized what he just said.
12. No name – A nurse applicant was asked if she’s had many experiences with patients.  He answer: “Konti palang po. Sa duktor, madami!”
13. Spy Shadow – My Middle Eastern employer asked my medyo bingi co-worker: “How are you?” My coworker replied: “They’re just fine, sir, but still red and itchy this morning because I only sleep with my bikini briefs on.”
14. Mr. Perk  – When my boss asked: “May asawa ka na?” I absent-mindedly replied: “Dalaga pa po.”
15. No name – Over lunch, the word “virginal” was used. Out of nowhere, an officemate blurted out: “Ako hindi na.”
16. Dru – A former officemate was once asked why she was late for work. She replied: “Yung asawa ko kasi, hinila yung tapis ko paglabas ko ng banyo!”
17. Mr. Perk – When I bumped into a former classmate, I asked: “How are you?” She replied: “I got promoted. Ikaw?”
18. Astoboy – A guy goes to the supermarket & notices an attractive lady waving at him. He asked: “Do u know me?” She answered: “I think you’re the father of one of my kids.” His mind raced back to the only time he’s ever been unfaithful to his wife: “My GOD! Are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on d pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery?!?” She looked into his eyes and said calmly: “No, I meant I’m your son’s teacher.”
19. No name – An officmate was asking for a day’s leave.  Her excuse: “uuwi asawa ko mamaya galing abroad. Baka di ko kayang maglakad bukas.”
20. Jose de vengenge – A woman was suing her boss for sexual harrassment. The lawyer said, “Ano, eh sinabihan ka lang naman ng ‘gee, your hair smells terrific!’ Ano naman ang masama dun?” The woman said: “Unano ang boss ko! You hear me? Unano!”
21. Geyp – One time our teacher went inside our classroom and announced: “Class, wala akong bra!”
22. Jose de vengenge – Mom: “Doc, ano po ba dapat gawin sa anak ko? Masyado pong maliit ang ari niya.” Doc: “Simple lang po. Pakainin niyo ng hotcakes sa umaga.” (Kinabukasan…) Anak: “Wow! Ang daming hotcakes!” Mom: “Hep hep hep, dalawa lang ang sa iyo! Sa tatay mo yung walo…”
23. Jose de vengenge – An American missionary at his Sunday Bible Study decided to show his proficiency in Filipino: “Alem nenyo mge enek ko? Kepeg nemetey keyow, kung mebute keyo se lupe, pegdeting nenyow se lengit, seselubungen keyow neng mge enghel na meleleke eng pekpek.”

David Cook

This just broke my heart.  It takes an incredible amount of bravery to face a scrutinizing world as your heart lies bleeding in a million pieces.  Most people, when grieving, don’t even have the strength to face another day, much less the public eye.  Coming from a family that battled cancer (and gratefully winning by the grace of God), I can imagine what he went through.  It’s a pain that cannot be described to another.  You have to go through it, to risk losing someone you love so dear, to know the terrible agony of watching this disease ravage the flesh of your flesh.  So for David Cook to run for a cause and stand in front of people, a mere day after losing his brother, is a gargantuan display of courage, and commitment to finding a cure to the illness that robbed his brother of his life.  It was hard to watch; it almost felt wrong to be watching someone struggle with tears to announce to the world his great loss.  He bravely cracked jokes, often to mask a broken heart, and to drive home an important point: that a day after his brother’s death, he couldn’t imagine being anywhere else, but supporting a cause to make sure others wouldn’t have to go through what he was going through that day.  More important than his grief is the bigger fight to finding a cure.  Hats off to David Cook, for handling a tragedy with admirable courage and amazing grace.

Toyota Prius

When Albert of Toyota got in touch with us to test drive the Prius, obviously our answer was a resounding positive!  We’ve heard so much about the hybrid electric car, especially since it’s always mentioned in TV shows discussing ways to “go green”.

The Prius, Latin for “to precede”, is generally considered one of the most fuel efficient and least CO2-emitting cars in the market today.  A lot of major Hollywood names have chosen the Prius as their car: Brad Pitt, Julia Roberts, Leonardo DiCaprio, Jack Black, Orlando Bloom, Harrison Ford, Ewan McGregor, Robin Williams, David Duchovny, Bill Mahr, Salma Hayek, and even Prince Charles.  The list is long.  In many countries, Prius owners are given incentives by their governments.  Some give tax incentives, while in many states in the U.S., the fast lane in highways are reserved only for cars with multiple passengers, or Prius owners, even if driven by a sole occupant.  In California, Prius owners are exempt from paying for public parking.  Isn’t great when governments reward energy efficiency?

When I finally got the car, Albert had to teach us the biggest difference between the Prius and regular cars: how to start.  First off, this car does not have a key, it has a “transponder”. This is how it looks like:

The transponder doesn’t really do anything.  You don’t physically insert it into anything.  It just has to be inside the car for the car to start.  You won’t be able to start it without the transponder.  So, given that it doesn’t have a key, to start, step on the brake (it won’t start if you’re not stepping on it), then simply press the power button, and viola, the car is on, just like an appliance.

Once you start the car, you won’t even know it’s on.  Initially, it’s the battery that’s running it.  No vibration or sound whatsoever.  But strangely, once you shift it to drive, it moves!  Then once you start going faster, then the engine kicks in and starts using gas.  The energy monitor tells you how the energy is used.  It could be just the battery, just the engine, or both.  The engine powers the battery, and so does the heat from the brakes.  So no need to plug it (as I stupidly wondered).  That’s what makes it fuel efficient, because it uses both gas and electricity to run the car.  Here’s the energy monitor, showing that the car is running purely on electricity:

The same monitor can be switched to show the aircon controls and of course, the radio controls:

The transmission is also different from the usual.  It only has reverse, neutral, and drive.  “Park” also has it’s own button.  Here’s the transmission and the park button right above it:

But the most surprising detail I noticed about the Prius is just how powerful it is!  I always had the assumption that being a hybrid, meant it wouldn’t be as powerful as regular cars.  Boy was I wrong!  it can really pull when you ask of it.  It will deliver power when you need it.  Of course that’s coming from me.  I’m not exactly a fast driver, but as far as I’m concerned, it handles like a dream.  My favorite aspect is the interiors.  It has plush leather interiors and it really feels like a luxury car.  And did I mention how quiet it is?  So quiet in fact, that in some countries, cyclists and blind people have protested the use of the car because there’s no aural cue of a car approaching: in short, you can’t even hear it coming!

It’s sad to have to give it back.  If I had the budget for it, I’d definitely get one.  People on Twitter have been asking how much it would go for.  In the U.S., roughly it would convert to a million pesos.  So having it brought here, plus plus, it’ll be 1.something.  Again, thanks to Toyota and to Albert for letting us try out the Prius!  It felt so good to see heads turn when people see me drive by.  Some people actually stop to ogle at it when parked.  Some ask questions when they see it.  Wala lang, it made me feel special! Hahaha, loser!

Alas, Prius, it is time for us to part.  Our time together was so short.  You’ve moved on, while I stay here, stuck…staring at the skid marks…you left in my heart.

The Best And The Rest 133

I grew up on Sesame Street and Electric Company.  Even now I enjoy watching on YouTube some segments I used to watch as a kid.  I’m just glad I never got to watch Elmo.  I’m not a fan.

October 3, 2008 → The Top Ten Things You Don’t Want To hear In A Children’s Show – Jorik

1. Curt Smith – Popeye: Pucha naman, gulay nanaman!
   
2. Automatic Allan – Powerpuff Girls: “Bubbles, may lighter ka? Pa-yosi ka naman, oh!
   
3. Astroboy - Lola Basyang – “Mga bata, ang ikukuwento ko sa inyo ngayon, ay galing sa isang napakagandang libro, ang Kama Sutra…”
4. Specialist – Robin: “Batman, can I slide down your batpole?”
5. Jorik – Bert: “Si Ernie, ang daya, lagi nalang siya ang top!” (sa bunk bed)
6. No Name – Grover: “Cookie Monster, wag mong kainin ang titik ‘O’!”
7. Jorik – Pong: “Kiko, sino gusto mong isubo, si B1 o si B2?”
8. Your Highness – Manang Bola: “Itlog ni Nognog, huwag tutulog-tulog. Wala na kong panty na suot…ka-ke-ki-ko-ku!”
9. Automatic Allan – Lola Basyang: “Ang alamat ng STD…”
10. Dru – Storm: “Sure ka paralyzed si Professor X from the waist down? Eh bakit nakita ko siyang ‘tumayo’?”
11. SC – Barbie: Masarap akong bihisan…pero mas masarap akong hubaran…”
12. Dark Fader – Goku: “Gusto mong hawakan ang aking dragon balls?”
13. Jedi Mstr – Genie to Jasmine: “Wanna rub my magic lamp and see if something comes out again?”
14. Espeks – Mary Jane: “Kadiri yung kay Spiderman, sapot ang lumalabas!”
15. Hanazawa Rui/Jun 13 – Human Torch: “Tignan niyo yung akin, nagi-init!” Thing: “Wala yan, tignan mo yung akin, sing-tigas ng bato!” Mr. Fantastic: “Talo kayo, yung akin, humahaba hanggang gusto ko!” Invisible Girl: “Yun lang? Ako din meron niyan, di niyo lang kita…”
16. Joel – Batman: “Dali Robin, pasok ka na sa buttcave!”
17. Mandong Masahista – The triceratops friend of Barney: “Me so horny!”
18. Ynaki – Barney: “Did you know that my scientific name is Penisaurus Humungus Rex?”
19. Acer – Wnder Woman to Superman: “I’m delayed. I think we’re having a super bastard.”
20. Siver Bullet – Care Bears: “We don’t care!”

U.P Cat Killer

Thanks to my contact Philip on Multiply for sharing this petition. You can check out this petition and even sign up by clicking this link: JOIN

Here’s a reprint of the accompanying article in the petition:

“There are over half a million stray animals in the Philippines, and this is the story of just one of them. Tengteng was a month-old stray kitten who lived precariously on the grounds of the University of the Philippines at Diliman. Those who knew her spoke of a kitten who benefited from random acts of kindness including handouts of food, water, even a new collar to make herself look pretty. She enjoyed fleeting but happy moments with students who gave her a scratch or two, a tummy rub, and  pats on her head. The only known photograghs of Tengten are the ones you see on this site. One can say that Tengteng was not as hard up as other strays in the Philippines, but she was without a regular source of food,  a home and a family to protect her.

Tengteng, like all animals, was God’s child. But her life came to an abrupt end when on April 13th a second year physics student named Joseph Carlo Candare took her life and bragged about it on the web. On his blog entry for that day, Mr. Candare mockingly called Tengteng’s death ” an accidental Crime.” However, by other accounts, Tengteng’s killing was a deliberate and blood-thirsty attack fueled by Mr. Candare’s visceral and sadistic hatred of cats.

How much hate, you might ask?

Mr. Candare was described as taking a running start, leaping into the air, and then landing on Tengteng with the full force of his weight and momentum. Tengteng, who could not have weighed more than two pounds, was crushed under the grown man’s weight. This was a conscious act, and Mr. Candare had ample opportunities to change his mind. Whatever life was left in Tengteng’s body, the last few ounces of strength she had, enabled her to seek shelter in a hovel where she ultimately died moments later, alone.  The imagery is horrifying, but we have been spared the deathly sounds that must have been blood-curdling. The agonizing scream of a kitten, the crushing of her bones, the taunting of the victor over the vanquished, it was a triumphant moment for one but unnecessarily tragic for another.

Why should we care?

Some have argued that we care too much about a kitten who did not belong to anyone. Some said tha there are many strays; why care about this one? All animals deserve respect. When we disrespect an animal, that says more about us than the animal. It is not how many animals are abused, but it is the knowledge that a most heinous crime was committed on a defenseless and sentient being that behooves us to act. Such acts, however singular, offends our sense of decency and righteousness. If there is one abused animal, then that is one too many. When we are confronted by cruelty, we must address it. Acts of abject cruelty towards animals, like Tengteng’s killing, are simply unacceptable.  It is up to the enlightened and the compassionate to stand up and speak in behalf of those on the receiving end of humankind’s brute  force.

Why take my word for it?

You do not have to. I am reproducing Mr. Candare’s blog entry for your perusal. Here, you can read his own words, his self-confession as a serial killer of cats, his disingenuous pang of conscience, and his not-so-veiled threat to kill more in a month ( English translation in brackets) :

“An Accidental Crime. First day sa supercon. Lunch time came. On our way out of old NIP I saw the cat I almost killed last Tuesday. Now everyone knows I hate cats. It’s an unexplainable feeling towards them. Like some internal hatred. Hindi ko talaga alam kung bakit pero anumang pagpipigil sa sarili ay hindi sapat upang mapangibabawan ang panggigil ko sa mga pusa. [ I don't really know why my self-control is not enough to overcome my hatred of cats ]  I pulled it on its tail and threw it. Then like some pro wrestler I jumped on it and my feet landed on it’s torso. Slam! Felt good! But the cat didn’t die, well not yet. It ran for its life and just as I was about to catch up on it somebody yelled: ” Pwede bang pabayaan mo yung pusa?!” [ Can you leave the cat alone? ]. It was instant and involuntary. I stopped on my tracks. Nobody ever stopped me when assaulting cats. Well I guess there’s always a first time for everything. The cat got away. Or at least that’s what i thought. So we went to lunch Mel, Jayson, Tracy and me. After lunch, balik na sa kung anumang naiwang gawain [ we went back to whatever unfinished work we had ]. Then Tracy and Mel told me ” Hui Jc napatay mo yung pusa” [ Hey, JC, you killed that cat ]. Hours later, habang abala sa XRD [ while busy at XRD ], a guy came in. Tanong niya: ” Sinong pumatay dun sa pusa?” [ He asked, who killed that cat? ] Bang! Dat was me boi. Guilty as charged. I didn’t see it die pero sabi ni Myles [ but Myles said ] it coughed up blood or at least something like that daw. Didn’t realize I gave it a fatal hit. This isn’t the first time I’ve killed a cat but this time it’s different. It didn’t occur to me back then that the cat had a leash. So I think somebody owns it. Well it’s very well loved in NIP from what I heard and I just ended it’s life. So there you go I’m sorry. And I wont be striking another one for maybe about a month. It feels good when your beating it(a cat) up but you suddenly feel something strange when it turns off permanently. That’s how I feel right now. And maybe for the next days. Dang, am I a cat serial killer? “

To Whom Should We Appeal?

We are appealing to the high officials of the University of the Philippines at Diliman (U.P.) namely Dr. Sergio Cao, Chancellor of UP, Dr. Arnel Salvador, Director of the National Institute of Physics at UP, and to Dr. Caesar Saloma, Dean of the College of Science UP.

These gentlemen, in their respective capacities, have the authority to set things right at the university. They can condemn, reject, and punish those who practice animal cruelty within the ranks of the university. They are gatekeepers to the long and illustrious history of the university. The conduct and safety of the student body are under their purview. We, therefore, are calling upon these gentlemen to apply the only just and appropriate punishment for Mr. Candare which is immediate expulsion from the university and to assist in seeking proper medical attention for Mr. Candare.

I am asking for one thousand signatures. If you agree with the spirit of this petition, please sign it and offer your opinion for the benefit of these learned gentlemen. I will post updates when new developments occur. I thank you for helping engender a more compassionate Filipino society.

Addenda: There were questions about criminal charges. The Philippine Animal Welfare Society (PAWS) is in the process of gathering affidavits from eye-witnesses. Yes, Mr. Candare violated the provisions of the Philippine Animal Welfare Act, Republic Act 8485. PAWS’ volunteer lawyer will be mapping our their legal case against Mr. Candare.

05/02/09 I had Mr. Candare’s name as John C. Candare in the initial post because he presented himself as such on another blog, but someone corrected me. His real name is Joseph Carlo Candare.”

If this goes through the proper channels, and indeed he is found guilty of inflicting needless pain and death, this would be a worthy cause to support.  Being an animal lover, owning 3 cats myself (1 being a rescued stray), this is a cause close to my heart.  True, he’s far from being the only animal abuser, and I’m sure there are worse offenders, but he was the one who bragged about it on his blog and he had witnesses.  Plus, just because he’s not the worst, doesn’t excuse him from the crime.  Many people still believe that cruelty to animals is no big deal.  I guess we have to start somewhere, to make a stand and say that animals DO have rights too.

I don’t want to be part of an angry mob.  Despite the fanned passions inside of me, I still believe in the law.  That’s why I hope the people in a position to investigate this find out if indeed he is guilty of the crime, and if so, for him to receive the penalty that the law dictates.  And if it turns out he’s simply misguided, he needs help nevertheless.

It took just a few people to start saying that slavery is inhuman.  A few to say that women ought to have the right to vote.  What was acceptable at one point in history is now deemed unthinkable.  If enough people agree to say that cruelty to animals is wrong, then things CAN change.

Somewhere between indifference and sensationalism lies the truth.  I pray we find it.

The Best And The Rest 132

Like Strawberry Switchblade so eloquently opined, “who  knows what love is?”  It’s a boogeyman we all try to analyze, to understand, to dissect, oftentimes, an exercise in futility.  But if we need to put parameters around it, just so we can tell ourselves that we understand it, then so be it.  It’s like a child drawing a cage around a snapshot of an elephant, and then boasting of the pachyderm capture.

September 30, 2008 → The Top Ten Definitions Of Love – SC

1. No name – Italian Proverb: “Love is blind. Marriage restores one’s vision.”
2. Indie – Love is a four-letter word: O-U-C-H.
3. RhachaeL_Leigh – Ang love parang sintas ng sapatos. Kailangan ng dalawang dulo para mabuo, pero isang dulo lang ang kailangan para kumalas.
4. Pambu – Love is seeing my neighbors, an old couple, buying pandesal each morning, holding hands.
5. No name – Love is sticking by your man, even if his best friend is WAY hotter!
6. Jenny Ever – Love as a feeling is fleeting, but love as a decision is what prevails.
7. Dru – Love is the universal lubricant. Not only does it make squeezing through life’s tight spots easier, it’s also makes it more pleasurable.
8. Fat_Free/Nika Canton/Kulasa – Love is not a noun, it’s a verb. It’s an action word.
9. SC – L0ve is like NFA rice: willing ang tao pumila at maghintay, makatikim lang.
10. TReiz – Love is the lightest burden, the heaviest joy.
11. Putungtung’s dad – Love is pain that you’re willing to bear.
12. No name – Love is watching your loved one cheer for Ateneo, even if you’re from La Salle.
13. No name – Love is someone who divides your life into two: life before you met her, and life after.
14. Ensy/Jajanika – Love is not blind; it just doesn’t mind.
15. Putungtung’s dad/Achie – Love is a heaven that hurts like hell.
16. Peachypie – Love is a sickness, because eventually, you end up in bed.
17. Morenang Kaligatan – Love is like the lotto, out of the millions who take their chance, only one hits the jackpot. Tapos minsan, may kahati ka pa.
18. Jekjek – Love is when my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over & paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love.
19. Rovivrus Nobag – Love is like math: doon ako mahina!
20. Boknoi – Love is grand. Divorce is a hundred grand.
21. FK Girl – Love is a perfect imperfection.
22. Irish – Love is when, during an argument, the person is more important than the issue.
23. Mr. Perk – Love is fighting though you knew from the very start that you’ll never win.
24. Yñaki – Love is the wisdom of the fool and the folly of the wise.
25. Curt Smith – Love is what you need to stand each other’s imperfections.
26. Mr. Perk – Love is like Coke: kung hindi sakto…zero!
27. Amber – Love is a hidden fire…A soothing pain…An agreeable torment…A gentle death! Ano ba, dati love is blind lang!
28. Liquidfire – Love is knowing when to hold on, and when to let go.
29. Curt Smith – Love is what makes a polygamist, monogamous.
30. Roman – Love is giving yourself to someone, without losing yourself.
31. Espeks – Love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken, even if she got to pick first.
32. Specialist – Love is an egotism of two.
33. Specialist – Love is the noblest frailty of mind.
34. Cheyenne – Love is getting stupid together.
35. SC – Love is like breathing; youdo it wothout thinking.
36. Jose de vengenge – Love is seeing pubes on the soap and you think, “at least he’s washing it…”