The Best And The Rest 134

Especially in the era of blogs and Facebook and Twitter, it’s easy to share too much.  Even with us on radio, sometimes we forget that we’re actually talking on air, with LOTS of people listening.  We reveal stuff about ourselves, our family, our dirty laundry, that we regret, sometimes, the moment it escapes our lips.

October 6, 2008 → The Top Ten TMI Moments

1. Dru – I was interviewing someone and asked him if he had any operations done in the past. He replied, “Nagpalagay po ako ng bolitas sa ari.”
2. Jose de vengenge – A judge asked the rape victim: “Gaano ka katagal ginahasa?” The victim replied: “Depende po, kasama na po ba yung foreplay at yosi pagkatapos?”
3. Lemual – During a consti class, our instructor asked myclassmate about properties. The instructor said: “Mr. Alagao, how big is your property?” He answered, “Uhm, sir, 7 inches?”
4. Cookie – During a “tell us something about yourself” icebreaker at the office, one new co-worker said: “Feminine wash ang shampoo ko kasi mabango.” *cricket* *cricket*
5. No name – When we visited our techer in his house, we got lost. So we asked one guy and asked him if he knew our teacher, and he said: “Alin, yung bakla?” We were shocked because we didn’t know.
6. Cheyenne – When we asked our inaanak: “Paano ka matulog?” He answered: “Nakatagilid. Pero si daddy nakahawak sa dodo ni mommy!”
7. House of Poports – When I asked a friend if she wanted to have lunch, she told me: “Green pa plema ko eh!”
8. Kabodskie – During a rape trial, the victim said: “Tapos, kinan…kinan…” Judge said: “Gumamit ka ng metaphor kung di mo kayang sabihin.” Victim: “Tapos, minetaphor niya ko ng minetaphor!”
9. Jose de vengenge – In a class, a student suddenly shouted: “Aray!” So the teacher asked: “What’s wrong?” The clasmate said: “Sorry ma’am, may naipit lang na buhok sa zipper…”
10. Dru – Back in college, my class went camping in Batangas. The ff morning as she got out of our tent, my girlfriend at the time blurted out: “Hindi siya bading!”
11. Skint – When a classmate asked a male professor how his birthday was, he blurted out without thinking: “Ayun, mga friends ko, dinalhan ako ng lalaki…” He stopped when he realized what he just said.
12. No name – A nurse applicant was asked if she’s had many experiences with patients.  He answer: “Konti palang po. Sa duktor, madami!”
13. Spy Shadow – My Middle Eastern employer asked my medyo bingi co-worker: “How are you?” My coworker replied: “They’re just fine, sir, but still red and itchy this morning because I only sleep with my bikini briefs on.”
14. Mr. Perk  – When my boss asked: “May asawa ka na?” I absent-mindedly replied: “Dalaga pa po.”
15. No name – Over lunch, the word “virginal” was used. Out of nowhere, an officemate blurted out: “Ako hindi na.”
16. Dru – A former officemate was once asked why she was late for work. She replied: “Yung asawa ko kasi, hinila yung tapis ko paglabas ko ng banyo!”
17. Mr. Perk – When I bumped into a former classmate, I asked: “How are you?” She replied: “I got promoted. Ikaw?”
18. Astoboy – A guy goes to the supermarket & notices an attractive lady waving at him. He asked: “Do u know me?” She answered: “I think you’re the father of one of my kids.” His mind raced back to the only time he’s ever been unfaithful to his wife: “My GOD! Are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on d pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery?!?” She looked into his eyes and said calmly: “No, I meant I’m your son’s teacher.”
19. No name – An officmate was asking for a day’s leave.  Her excuse: “uuwi asawa ko mamaya galing abroad. Baka di ko kayang maglakad bukas.”
20. Jose de vengenge – A woman was suing her boss for sexual harrassment. The lawyer said, “Ano, eh sinabihan ka lang naman ng ‘gee, your hair smells terrific!’ Ano naman ang masama dun?” The woman said: “Unano ang boss ko! You hear me? Unano!”
21. Geyp – One time our teacher went inside our classroom and announced: “Class, wala akong bra!”
22. Jose de vengenge – Mom: “Doc, ano po ba dapat gawin sa anak ko? Masyado pong maliit ang ari niya.” Doc: “Simple lang po. Pakainin niyo ng hotcakes sa umaga.” (Kinabukasan…) Anak: “Wow! Ang daming hotcakes!” Mom: “Hep hep hep, dalawa lang ang sa iyo! Sa tatay mo yung walo…”
23. Jose de vengenge – An American missionary at his Sunday Bible Study decided to show his proficiency in Filipino: “Alem nenyo mge enek ko? Kepeg nemetey keyow, kung mebute keyo se lupe, pegdeting nenyow se lengit, seselubungen keyow neng mge enghel na meleleke eng pekpek.”

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