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All posts for the day March 15th, 2009

The Best And The Rest 118

Posted by chicogarcia on March 15, 2009
Posted in: Top Ten. 6 comments

Okay fine, most of these ended up as jokes.  But some jokes are riddles anyway.

September 4, 2008 → The Top Ten Riddles

  1. Ana – Q: Anong hayop na ang paa niya, nasa ulo? A: Kuto.
  2. Doorknob – Q: What’s the difference between a joke and rice-planting? A: Ang magtanim ay di biro…
  3. Powpot – Q: Ano ito – mabuhok, matigas, pasok-labas sa madilim na butas? A: TOOTHBRUSH.
  4. Louise – Q: 2 fathers and 2 sons had dinner together. They were composed of 3 men. How is this possible? A: 1 is the grandfather, 1 is the father, 1 is the son.
  5. Choomag - Q: Sino ang asawa ni Mr. Bean? A: Eh di si Avrila Bean!
  6. Hookworm/Menard/Maximo – Q: Dinilaan ko’t pinatigas, bago ko ipas0k. Ano ito? A: Sinulid, bago ipasok sa karayom.
  7. Duday – Q: Sinundot ni malambot ang puwet ni matigas. Sino sila? A: Karay0m at sinulid.
  8. Cleng/Mr. Perk – Q: Ang nawalan ay natawa, ang nakakuha ay nasuka. Ano ito? A: Utot.
  9. Emz – Q: Bumaril ako sa baba, sa taas tumama. Ano ako? A: Utot.
  10. Jose de vengenge – Q: What’s 68? A: You do me & I owe you one.
  11. Jose de vengenge – Q: Pinasok ko matigas pa, nang inilabas ko’y malambot na. A: Chewing gum.
  12. Jose de vengenge - Q: What’s the difference between oooh & aaah? A: About 3 inches.
  13. Jose de vengenge – Q: Patpat kong matigas labas-masok sa butas, pag iyong idiniin langit ang mararating. A: Cotton buds.
  14. Marcus – Q: Anong “Pu” ang napapaligiran ng buhok? A: Puyo.
  15. His Airness – Q: Why did Meryl Streep? A: Because Michael J. Fox.
  16. Marcus – Q: Ano ang tawag sa hipon na laging nasasakuna? A: Accident Prawn.
  17. Chinese Cowboy – Q: What do you call a cross between a bulldog and a shih tzu? A: Bull-sh*t.
  18. Disenchanted – Q: What is the one thing that has to be broken before it is used? A: An egg.
  19. Yñaki – Q: Iisa ang pinasukan, tatlo ang linabasan. Ano ito? A: T-shirt.
  20. Specialist – Q: No sooner spoken than broken. What is it? A: Silence.
  21. Specialist – Q: The maker doesn’t want it. The buyer doesn’t use it. The user doesn’t see it. What is it? A: Coffin.
  22. Dru – Q: What opens up when you put your fingers through its holes? A: Scissors!
  23. Mr. Perk – Q: What is the other tagalog word for sex that starts with a “k” and ends with an “n”? A: Kasarian.
  24. Kemosabe – Q: Ano ang tawag sa pantalon ng kabayo? A: Paa.
  25. Boomshakala – Q: When I go forward I am heavy, but when I go backwards I am not. What ami I? A: TON.
  26. Gerver – Q: Anong hayop ang hindi nalalaos? A: BEAR. Kasi lagi siyang OSO!
  27. Rogie – Q: Andiyan na si kaka, bubuka-bukaka. Ano ito? A: Operadang bakla.
  28. Mcsupremy – Q: Why is it against the law for a man living in North Carolina to be buried in South Carolina? A: Because he’s still living.
  29. Mcsupremy – Q: There was an airplane crash. Every single pers0n died, but tw0 pe0ple survived. How is this possible? A: They were married.
  30. Geyp – Q: How many eggs can you eat on an empty stomach? A: One. After which your stomach would not be empty.
  31. Porkchop – Q: What gets wetter as it dries? A: A towel.
  32. Bluebloodedblue – Q: Kung gusto mo ako mabuhay ng matagal, patayin mo ako. Ano ako?A: Kandila.
  33. Curt Smith – Q: Kapag ito ay hinimas, ito ay tatayo ng mataas at matigas? Ano ito? A: Buntot ng pusa.
  34. Paolo – Q: What 4-letter word starts with an “F” and ends with a “K”, and if you can’t get one, you can always use your hands? A: Fork.
  35. Astroboy – Q: The pope has it but doesn’t use it. Your dad has it and your m0m uses it. Your lady friend’s husband has it and she uses it. What is it? A: Surname.
  36. Kemosabe – Q: What part of the body grows up to 3 times its size when excited? A: The pupils of the eyes.
  37. Lara – Q: How do you top a car? A: Tep on the brake, tupid!
  38. Boy 2tok – Q: Saang lugar maraming baka? A: Macau.
  39. Boy 2tok – Q: Ano ang tawag sa paniking mababa ang lipad? A: Low Bat.