The Best And The Rest 113

Traffic is the bane of every driver in Metro Manila.  From my end of the city, it’s now C5 at any time of the day.  The thingamajig they’re constructing at the Kalayaan intersection is driving every driver nuts!  And we don’t even know if that monstrosity will even help the traffic situation when it finally gets built.  I’ve always said I hated driving.  But I guess upon closer inspection, it’s really the traffic that I hate.

August 26, 2008 → The Top Ten Traffic Moments – Astroboy

1. Homer – My lolo was one lucky person. He was stuck in traffic in the northbound lane on the SLEX. Right next to the airport, an airplane overshot the runway and settled on the highway. He was the last car missed by the plane.
2. Kirei – During traffic along EDSA, my best friend and I found ourselves behind a military truck. I waved at the soldiers, smiled, and blew them a kiss. A couple of soldiers waved back while the others smiled. Sobrang hiya ng best friend ko. So I told her, kahit sa ganung paraan man lang, mapabaunan ko sila ng konting saya bago sila sumabak sa digmaan.
3. Specialist – I was along c5 on my way to the office. After the Katipunan flyover, I saw a plastic bag thrown from the shanties. It almost hit the car in front of me. It splattered and I saw that it was filled with human poop.
4. Riverbanks – Our car and the car in front of us were flagged down by an MMDA person each.  The car in front sped off after talking to the MMDA, then that guy talked to our MMDA.  Apparently, the girl in front was Kris Aquino, and she told the MMDA that we were with her.  If that was really her, then thanks, Ms. Kris!
5. Dru – I was listening to my ipod as I crossed the street. Then this truck almost ran me over. When I looked up, it was a truck of condoms!
6. XtraRice – As I was making sabit sa likod ng jeep (I’m a girl), the car right behind me started honking.  When I looked, who should it be? My crush.
7. SC – I was stuck in trafic 0n a jeep somewhere in Blumentritt, when a w0man suddenly screamed, her ear bleeding. Apparently may humabl0t ng earrings niya, a guy 0n a bike.
8. Astroboy – I saw this car sticker on a car in fr0nt of me in traffic: “WARNING: children playng outside the car can cause accidents and adults playing inside the car can cause children!”
9. Carlo – When we were stuck in traffic in Cavite, we decided to ask a jeepney driver what was causing the congestion. The driver replied,”Kasi may umano sa ano diyan sa may ano eh.”
10. Marcus - One rainy August afternoon in 1998, I left the office in Pasig at 4:30pm and reached Alabang at 5am the next. We spent the whole night crawling in traffic along SLEX.
11. Racer – An MMDA flagged down a friend who was on a motorcycle.  My friend said, “Ano pong violation?”  The MMDA answered, “Wala naman, pa-angkas lang. Trafik eh.”
12. SC – While stuck in traffic in a taxi who happened to be listening to RX, I texted you guys to tell manong driver na pakilakasan ang aircon kasi nagmamantika na ko sa likod.  Without talking, he did.
13. SPY Shadow – Our military vicar was apprehended by a highway patrol for beating the red light. But the officer, who was a Catholic, let him go when he recognized the priest, and said “Father, ingat na lang kayo doon sa next intersection kasi hindi po mga Katoliko ang mga assigned doon!”
14. Astroboy – One night, my sister had to take a taxi h0me. Nung malapit na siya, she tapped the driver’s sh0ulder then he screamed! He said after, “Pasensiya na po, 25 years kasi ak0ng driver sa punerarya. Di ako sanay na kinakalabit ng pasahero.”
15. Na name – While stuck in traffic on a bridge, may dad suddenly screamed, “May tumalon!” Apparently a lady committed suicide by jumping off.
16. Sayuri – We were not moving along Roxas blvd, when suddenly a motorcade on the other lane stopped right alongside of us.  My son rolled down his window to see the commotion, then the limo that the police were escorting rolled down the windows, and who should peek out — Michael Jackson! He handed his sampaguita necklace to my son.
17. Jose de vengenge – One time in a bus, the conductor shouted, “O sige, pasok lang, maluwag yan kasi laging ginagamit!”

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