Caliraya (B & W)

Once again, we were given the opportunity to tag along in the latest landscape photography class of our esteemed mentor, Richard Larrios.  It’s always a pleasure, and BS aside, a true honor to be allowed to tag along whenever he gives workshops.  This time, we had a chance to return to Caliraya, where we got rained out the first time around.

We got to return to that lighthouse thingy, or whatever you call it, which we were frustrated not to shoot because of strong rains.  We got to return as well to the Japanese garden, where we first tried out infrared photography, and we visited a resthouse owned by the gracious Mr. Peter Wallace.

I decided to try black and white because this is one aspect that I never really explore in photography, so I wanted to see how my IR photos would look in B & W.  I like the drama minus the orange/red cast that I usually get from my camera.

I guess I wanted that eerie feel and quiet grace that I associate with infrared photography but without the distraction that color sometimes brings.  Plus, I don’t know if it’s just me, but IR photos seem to me like they’re bereft of any sound.  I don’t know why.

It was an exhausting weekend, with us running around like headless chickens, waking up at 4am to catch the sunrise, and working overtime on our first official photo trip for 2009 and our first since the exhibit.  It was nice to be behind the camera again, as if we were recharged!

So we’re back to shooting, and we plan to really take advantage of the summer, rainless months.  I just realized I’ve been taking pictures for a year now! I took my basic photography lessons around March of 2008!  Wow, I can’t believe it’s been a year.  As a photo group, this is also our first summer together; we’ve gotten used to shooting under constant threat of rain.  I’m so excited for summer 2009!

Again, a big bowl of gratitude to our teacher Richard Larrios!

(Tomorrow, I post the color photos!)

The Best And The Rest 122

The difference between a sexy movie and porn, is that a sexy movie is a hypocrite.  It’s basically selling the same thing, but doesn’t want the moral baggage.  I’m talking about sexy movies that are just all about sex.  Don’t include real movies that just happen to be sexy as well.  It’s like a floozy who wants to be accepted into mainstream society.  It chooses the gray area; it’s the cinematic equivalent of a fence sitter.  Or a tease.  This is the kind of Top Ten post where most of these never made it on air.

September 11, 2008 → The Top Ten Sexy Lines From Sexy Movies – Johnlang

1. Jose de vengenge – “There are 70 ways to make a man happy: Number 1 is to LOVE him…and the rest is 69.”
2. No name – A girl to her boyfriend who’s always getting himself into trouble: “Para kang bird mo! Kung saan masikip, doon sumusuksok!”
3. Feb 15 – “Ang gusto ng misis ko, cat style.  Parang doggie style…pero sa bubong.”
4. Maynman - MISTER: “Alam mo hon, yung titok ni Pare, parang champoy.” MISIS: “Kasing kulubot ng champoy?” MISTER: “Hindi…kasing alat…”
5. No name – “Yang birdie mo parang tsismis…it passes from one mouth to another!”
6. Astroboy – “Para kang cellphone, pag pasok sa tunnel, nawawalan ng network!”
7. Specialist – “Laro tayong baril-barilan…patira naman, kahit isang putok lang!”
8. Jose de vengenge - Couple making love. Woman: “ANSELMOOO!” Man: “Hayop! Sinasabi ko na nga ba! Sino si Anselmo?” Woman: “Tanga! Ang cellphone mo, nagva-vibrate!”
9. Kaleb – Dad talking to son about the birds and the bees: “Anak, alam mo ba ang ibig sabihin ng bl*wj*b?” Son: “Nagawa ko na po yan…masakit sa panga…”
10. Rickyfo – Woman: “Binabalaan kita, pauwi na asawa ko!” Man: “Bakit, wala naman akong ginagawa sa yo, ha!” Woman: “Kaya nga, gawin mo na bago siya dumating!”
11. SC – Old maid to young stud: “Mas maasim pa ko sa sinigang ng nanay mo!”
12. Astroboy – Girl: “Huhuhu, hindi na ko virgin! Walanghiya ka, dalawang beses pa!” Guy: “Ha, minsan lang natin ginawa ah!” Girl: “Ay bakit, hindi na ba tayo uulit?”
13. Junus - Teacher to student who kept on sneaking in and out of the classroom: “Para kang rapist! Labas-masok ka ng walang paalam!”
14. Joel – Guy: “Eto na ang tren, papasok na sa tunnel!” Girl: “Hoy, hindi ka sa tunnel pumasok! Nasa imburnal ang tren mo!”
15. Liz – Girl to guy as she put her hand on his crotch: “Akala ko…life lang ang hard…”
16. Jose de vengenge - Scene: Two girl friends talking. Girl1: “Girl, ano pagkakaiba ng ari ng lalaki at kamote?” Girl2: “Yuck, I don’t eat kamote!”
17. Jose de vengenge - Scene: Juan goes to a clinic for a bloodtest. Nurse: “Sir, naubusan po kami ng bulak, kaya sisipsipin ko nalang.” Juan: “Sige, kung ganun…papa-urinalysis na rin ako!”

“My Mother-in-law Is Dying!”

I’ve seen many shocking things on the internet, but this one is a hard one for me to recover from.  Unbelievable.

I guess it pinched my sense of injustice a little too much.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m a big believer in rules and the law.  Even when I don’t agree with the law, I support the process of everyone agreeing to follow what the majority has decided on.  For instance, even if you didn’t vote for the presidential candidate who won, you still have to abide and recognize him once the majority has spoken.  Otherwise, if we all went by our own rules, anarchy ensues.  So ask anyone who knows me, and they’ll agree that I’m a stickler for rules.  So I agree with the policeman when he flagged down the car which rolled through a red light.  But once he turned INTO the hospital parking lot, AND explained the predicament, was it too much too ask to at least verify first if the driver was telling the truth?  And if need be, give him the ticket AFTER he says goodbye to his dying mother-in-law!  I’m not saying suspend the enforcement of traffic rules to every joe who claims to be rushing to an emergency, but when it is verifiable, already being in the HOSPITAL PARKING LOT, I think a little humanity dictates the lowering of hubris and applying a little bit of compassion.  True, it is a judgment call, and different people  will have different views on the matter, but I personally, am appalled by this display of lack of kindness.  He could have followed them to the room just to check if they were telling the truth.  Sorry, it just touched a nerve.  Hours after, I was still bristling at the thought.  Sometimes we need to understand the spirit of the law, and not just the letter of the law.  Call me naive, but I believe that law enforcement and human compassion CAN co-exist.

He Is Legend

John Stephens couldn’t have chosen a better stage name than LEGEND.  The guy can sing.  Probably the most vocally gifted singer I’ve seen perform live.  I swear, every note, almost mechanically in tune, never off key, never “pitchy”, always amazing.  Even when he’s singing I’m not familiar with, I’m at awe at just how great a singer and performer he is.  Incredible.

With no front act, the show just started right away.  When the lights went out at the start of the show, the band started playing, the back-up singers started singing, as we awaited his entrance.  Then, the coliseum started shrieking loudly and then we realized he was walking to the stage from the audience!  He started singing once he got on stage and didn’t stop from then on.  He performed mostly songs from his latest album, his third studio album, Evolver.  But he didn’t disappoint by going through all his hits (I hate it when foreign acts skip singing some of their hit songs, knowing that fans went there to hear them).  John sang his hits, but for me, favorite was when he sang “Save Room”, “P.D.A.”, and especially “Green Light”.  Of course there’s “Ordinary People”, but more on that later.  As a Beatles fan, it was delightful treat when he segued from one of his songs to the Beatles classic, “I Want You (She’s So Heavy)”.  Way cool.

He is one of those musicians who can actually outsing his recordings when he performs them live.  I find myself jaw-dropped with how he sings his songs live; I swear the man is gifted.  You just had to be there to know what I’m talking about.  The contestants on American Idol can learn a thing or two from John Legend.  One of the highlights was when he asked for ONE girl to join him up onstage.  He chose one, pointed at her from onstage, and she was escorted up on stage as he serenaded her and did some dirty dancing as well.  The audience was screaming with titillated delight!  Eventually the song ended, and he gave her a kiss on the cheek then a rose.  I swear, this guy can sweep any girl out of her undies with a line or two from his songs!

John Legend also has a wardrobe shtick.  He starts the show off with layers of clothing on, wrapped in shirts and a scarf and a jacket.  But every so often, every after couple of songs, he would remove an article of clothing, first his jacket, then his scarf then his shirt, until his last song where he’s left wearing a sando or a wifebeater.  He really knows how to work the crowd, playing to the easily excited audience.

Then, after his final song, he thanks everyone and abruptly exits the stage without singing his signature song, “Ordinary People”, leaving the crowd chanting MORE, MORE, MORE!  After a bit, he comes back the complete opposite of his stripped down final outfit, completely dressed in a black tuxedo.  He sits down on his piano, and proceeds to sing his biggest hit.  At many parts of the ballad, he lets the crowd, who was singing along from the beginning, to sing the song for him, always a thrill to witness in concerts.  He makes the crowd sing, “take it slow…this time we’ll take it slow…” over and over again to great dramatic effect.  I swear, I didn’t think it was possible for me to like the song any more than I already do, but it was.  I had a lump in my throat the whole time.

I’ve always admired John Legend and his music, but I never considered myself a fan.  But I’ve acquired a newfound respect and admiration for the man and his immense talent — for writing, singing, and performing.  It’s one of life’s simple joys to witness great talent performing live onstage.  Consider me a fan.

(As always, thanks again to She and Mario!)

The Best And The Rest 121

In this golden age of mass media and internet and blogs and twitter and stuff, it’s sooo easy to start a fight.  Just visit ANY thread in any forum or any comments section of a blog, and you’ll see just how easy it is to inflame emotions in this age of everyone-having-an-opinion-and-wanting-to-say-them-out-loud.  So this barely scratches the surface.

September 9, 2008 → The Top Ten Statements That Will Start A Fight – V55

1. Oahm – “Alam mo, gabi na…pero amoy araw ka pa rin!
2. Rope 23 – On a bus, when the conductor asks for a smaller bill, just tell him, “Ang problema ko, pambayad. Ang problema mo, panukli.”
3. Paleng/Hiscuteness – “Ang mga ipin mo pala, parang exam: one seat apart.”
4. Alokacoke – “Aside from your face, anong problema mo?”
5. No name – “Try mo mag-isip, promise, hindi masakit!”
6. Homer – “Ateneo, bulok!”
7. Yummy – “Kung mamamatay ka bukas…bakit hindi pa ngayon?”
8. Chun Yang – “Ang liit na, supot pa!”
9. Dru – “Naka-iphone ka nga, prepaid naman.”
10. SC – “Kung totoo na ang tao galing sa unggoy…bakit ikaw, mukhang kabayo?”
11. Rovick Rovivrus – “Pag katabi mo yung girlfriend mo, nagmumukha kang magsasaka. Kasi yung girlfriend mo, mukhang kalabaw.”
12. Niccolo – “Yung hininga mo ba, inborn? Kasi amoy inbornal eh!”
13. No name – Pag may tumawag sa iyo na pangit, sabihin mo lang, “Ugly, starts with ‘U’.”
14. Psyvels – “Ano bang gusto mo, away o gulo?”
15. Maximo – Pag pinagbintangan ni misis si yaya na nagnakaw ng panty niya, at sasabihin ni yaya na, “Ati, hindi ako nagpa-panty! Pramis, itanong mo pa kay Koya!”
16. Jose de vengenge – “The trouble with you, is that you have diarrhea of the mouth and constipation of the brain!”
17. Vi – To a couple with their newborn baby: “Ba’t ganun? Ang ganda mo, ang guwapo ng asawa mo…pero mukhang unggoy ang baby niyo!”
18. Euniz/Isenhart – “May istura ka…mula ulo, mukhang paa!”

Hotter, Colder, Harder, Better

In this post, we will revisit 2 classics.

This is just too funny.  Four Ukrainians decide to remake a Katy Perry Classic:

And you have to try this! One of the beds we use on The Morning Rush is a remix of the Daft Punk classic, “Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger”.  It’s a really cool song.  In case you’re not familiar with the song, here’s the video that made this a youtube classic, “Daft Hands”.

Anyway, that’s not the main point of this post. There’s a new website that allows you to make your own remix of this song.  It’s called iDAFT.  And it’s sooo much fun! Hours of remixing for frustrated DJ’s like me. You gotta try it! Then tell me what you think, okay? Click on this link: iDAFT

Sex, Violence, And Death

One of my precious koi died yesterday:

I made the pictures small and I cropped it a certain way because it’s pretty gruesome.  Her mouth was practically ripped off her face. So now, I have 8 koi left:

This whole sexual carnage happens every year.  Some years I’m lucky and the fish survive the ordeal.  But some years, like this one, have casualties.  I did a post on this about a year ago called “Koi Rape”.  Every year, around this time of year, the koi mating season comes in full swing.  Unfortunately for koi enthusiasts, this type of fish mate in a violent kind of way.  The poor females are violently attacked by the males, chased brutally around the pond, as the females bump into the concrete walls causing injuries, some fatal.

So this year, one female was already floating on her side when we found her.  I could see that even in that weakened state, the males would still badger her, causing her to swim away at full speed, smashing her snout into the walls of the pond.  When we fished her out of the pond, her mouth was almost completely gone, practically ripped out of her head.  I tried putting salt in the water, in a last ditch attempt to revive her, which is the general treatment for sick fish, but it died anyway.  So now, since only one female was raped, there’s a possibility now that I have an all-male pond (unless the other females just haven’t spawned yet).  That is my goal: to have an all-male or all-female koi pond, to avoid this yearly display of piscine domestic violence.

Such regal, graceful, beautiful creatures, yet capable of such brutal violence, such is the nature of many things.  I don’t have the budget to buy a new fish, but I need to look into it.  Supposedly, the lucky number in a koi pond is any multiple of 9 (9, 18, 27…).  So 8 ain’t great, but 9 is divine.  This is my second batch of koi already, the first one wiped out years ago in a traumatic mass death.  I really hope this batch doesn’t surprise me with another koi tragedy.

“Sana magkaroon na ng fish and quiet sa pond, para mundo koi tumahimik. Isda too much to ask?”

The Best And The Rest 120

Sorry for the long gap.  I was out of town for a landscape shoot with one of our mentors, the great Richard Larrios.  I’m excited to post some of the pics we took.  I’m spending this week going through the photos.  So I’m back, with my body still aching from a weekend filled with climbing, walking, standing under the sun, crouching, squatting, whatever else it takes to take that winning shot.  So I really wanted to get a massage today, either at a spa or even just the nearby barber shop, just to untie the knots my muscles are in.  So it’s very fitting that I should post this today.

September 8, 2008 → The Top Ten Spa/Salon/Barber Moments – Twisted Saint & Hindu Tan

1. Jose de vengenge - I have a very perverted friend. Once, he got a blind masseuse, and all the time during the massage, he kept moving and angling his body so th masseuse would accidentally touch his *toot*.
2. McMaki – When I was about 7 years old, instead of going to a barber shop my sister brought to a salon. When it was my turn, the gay beautician said, “Magiging bakla itong batang ito.” I started crying!
3. Jonathanweb2.0/Strangelybeauty – One time I was getting a foot spa, and when the masseuse touched a certain part of my foot which was very ticklish, I jerked and accidentally kicked her hard in the face!
4. Lea – My friend and I went to a bulag masahista. When they were about to start. I told the masahista, “Manang, ang liwanag naman dito, nakakasilaw.” Then she said, “Pasensya na po, di kasi namin nakikita kung maliwanag o madilim.” Oops.
5. Jose de vengenge - A friend’s story: As the masseuse was massaging his legs, he blurted out, “Miss, pag tinaas mo pa ng konti, mababangga mo na itlog ko.”
6. No name – When my masahista comes to the house, I put on an action movie DVD. I get an extra 20-30 minutes because she wants to finish the movie.
7. Mrs. Phelps – The first time I got a massage, the masseuse started massaging my boobs! I asked if that was necessary, and she said it was.  I just covered my face because I couldn’t take it.
8. Royski – A foreigner friend was having a haircut and he asked the barber how long until they finished. The barber wanted to say that the shaving was the last part, but instead, he said, as he held the razor under the foreigner’s chin, “This…is your end.”
9. Mulangot – First massage I ever got, the masseeuse asked if I was tense because I was clenching my butt.  I didn’t have the guts to tell her I was clenching  because I was holding my fart!
10. Jose de vengenge – When the masseuse asked my friend to turn over, he hesitated. When the masseuse asked if anything was wrong, my friend answered in a meek voice, “Hintayin natin…lumambot…”
11. angpaghihimagsiknijoeshred – I went to this parlor. And the gay beautician modus operandi was to drop the comb on your lap, and when he picks it up, he will touch your thingy.
12. Kabodskie – The name of a barbershop in UPLB in the 70,s: “Karl Marx”, owned by barbers named Carlo and Marco.
13. Cho Chang – I was at a salon and my stylist was rushing because it was lunch time.  She was snipping so fast that she accidentally snipped off part of my ear! I had to get injections on the same spot.
14. Curt Smith – At a certain salon in the 80’s, I was resting my hand on the armrest, when the lady cuting my hair suddenly leaned forward, touching her crotch area to my hand!
15. Kytes – I know of a case of a policeman who complained that he didn’t like his haircut and one thing lead to another and the policeman ended up dead because the barber stabbed him to death with his scissors.
16. Chester – I’m a male spa therapist for so many years abroad. I had so many female clients before and I think professìonalism is the key in this work. One time, I was about to perform a full leg waxing with a caucasian woman, so I started by slowly raising her skirt, and after I lifted her skirt, she said in a very calm voice, “I’m here to have my eyebrows done.”

Our Spitfire, Aras

“Siyam”

“Bantay”

The idea of rescuing animals is close to my heart.  One of our pets is an animal we rescued from a boat in Batangas: our very own spitfire, Aras.

I’ve written a lot about my other pets, but very little about our domestic cat, Aras.  Maybe because I’m not really very close to him, in fact, I’m a little afraid of him, mostly because he’s the most unpredictable of all my pets, behavior-wise.  Maybe because of his history, he’s always been a bit of a wildcat, never really losing that feral quality despite living a cushy, domesticated life with us all his life.  But I get ahead of myself.  Years ago, we were in Maricaban island in Batangas, and on our way home, we rode this tiny banca, when we suddenly saw 3 teeny-tiny kittens cowering in one corner of the small watercraft.  They were soaking wet and shivering, so we asked what those kitties were doing in a boat.  To our horror, the boatmen said that they were going to throw them overboard once they’re in deep waters.  They explained that they didn’t have anything to feed them, and that is how they usually dispose of unwanted kittens.  We convinced them to just put them on land on the other side, where we were going down; at least they have a fighting chance on land, than in the middle of the Mindoro channel.  When the kitties were safely on land, I didn’t have the heart to just leave them, but at the same time, I knew I didn’t have the resources to keep all three.  So snap decision, I decided to adopt one.  In hindsight, I should’ve taken all three and brought them to PAWS or some other animal shelter.  But my mind was swimming at the time, stressed about a decision we had to make in minutes.  And so was re-written the fate of one cat, Aras, named after the winner of the TV show Survivor at the time, since the term “survivor” fits this animal like a hand in glove.  These were the first few pics of the scrawny Aras we ever took:

We had to put newspapers on the car because he was pretty much infected with fleas and heaven knows what other parasites, so he rode to his new home on the floor, not allowed on the seats.  We took him straight to the vet, had his shots, got rid of the fleas, and took him home.  By that time, we had two cats already, Duke and Isis.  As expected, the two hated the newcomer, hissing at the very sight of him.  As the weeks passed, they eventually warmed up to him, although Duke, I guess because they were both males, never really grew close to him.  Duke was always wary of Aras.

He got equal treatment as the two award-winning purebreds, ate the same food, had the same sleeping quarters, got the same shots and vitamins, and he got spayed like the other two as well.  I guess he was a lucky one.  But like I said, he always retained his wild qualities.  I never grew close to him because he is easily spooked, even now, long after he’s been living the life.  When he gets spooked, he really freaks out, and he’ll scratch and bite and go crazy until he calms down.  Once he’s calm, he’s back to the old lovable, gentle cat that he is.

It’s so cute because everytime Aras goes berserk, Duke instantly runs to our rescue!  He’ll charge Aras and they’ll tussle until the alpha male, Duke, subdues the smaller Aras.  It’s so weird!  I never thought cats went to the rescue of their humans until I’ve seen it happen many times.  To be honest, there were times I wanted to give up and give Aras up.  I just wasn’t used to wild, aggressive pets because ALL my other pets are such sweethearts.  I was tempted many time to have him adopted at an animal shelter like PAWS, but giving him up was like giving away your own child.  So difficult as he might be at times, I’m sticking by my little hellion.  He’s only like this because he learned fear from traumatic experiences.  But one thing I cannot deny, is that he’s a loving cat with a big heart.

But Aras has had his shining moments as well.  In many cat shows, he would even bring home more ribbons and awards than either Duke or Isis!  He’s a crowd favorite because he’s really friendly and welcomes being touched.  Of course we’re there to make sure he doesn’t get spooked so he doesn’t scratch anyone there.  His awards may not be as prestigious as the other two, but they’re a testament to the power of animal adoption.  How we can make a HUGE difference in the life of even just one animal.  I still get pangs of guilt over leaving the other two kitties to certain doom, but I take comfort in the idea that if I couldn’t save three, at least I saved one.  It’s one less dead unwanted animal.  So in case you want a pet cat or dog, nothing wrong with getting a purebreed from a respected breeder, but also try to explore the idea of adopting an animal.  You might end up like the lucky few who found a lifetime’s treasure among the countless homeless animals that walk our streets; animals looking for a little love in a harsh uncaring environment.

The Best And The Rest 119

The Philippines is, the last time I heard, is one of the last 2 countries in the world that don’t allow divorce.  So at least here in our country, weddings are pretty much touch-move (although there is annulment which a lot of people use as our version of it).  That’s why Pinoys have to think twice, thrice, many, many times before deciding to tie the knot.  It’ll either be a lifetime of marital bliss or a life sentence.

September 5, 2008 → The Top Ten Thing To Say If You Wanted To Back Out Of Your Wedding Last Minute – Gracia

1. Joel – During the vows, when priest asks you, “Do you take her as your lawfully wedded wife?” Simply answer, “Korek ka diyan, mamu!”
2. Joel – “Pssst…I kissed a boy and I liked it!”
3. SC/Cris Bejerano – “Sa wakas, mababayaran na rin namin ang lahaaat ng pinagkakautangan namin!”
4. Chinese Cowboy – “It gets to 2 inches…at best!”
5. Idu – “Ilang sandali nalang…yayaman na ako…bwhahahaha!!!”
6. Gorgeous Bitch – “By the way, okay lang ba sa iyo na naging kami ng kuya mo?”
7. Bratpanty – “Kailangan ba annulment muna bago ikasal ulit?”
8. Mr. Perk/Racer – “Sana maputol mo ang sumpa na lahat ng pinapakasalan ko, namamatay on the first night!”
9. No name – “Sweetheart, tomorrow pag gising natin, siguraduhin mo na may nakasalang na mainit na tubig pampaligo para sakin at kay mommy, ha?
10. Carrie Bradshaw Blvd – “Puwede ikasal nalang tayo sa bansang may divorce?”
11. Twylyt – From the wife-to-be: “Honey, di tayo puwede mag honeymoon…meron ako eh… Meron akong itlog…”
12. Dru – From the groom-to-be: “Puwede ang motif natin sa reception, pink crystal unicorn extravaganza?”
13. Joel – “I-confirm ko lang…pag kinasal tayo at namatay ka, akin lahat ng kayamanan mo, right?”
14. Mr. Perk – “Okay lang ba sa iyo na chickboy ako: puwede sa chick, puwede sa boy?”
15. Chinese Cowboy – “Pag kasal na tayo, puwede pa ba ko sumali sa miss baranGAY 2008?”
16. Louise and her husband – “I lied, I am not a virgin. I had an incestuous three-way affair with my cute cousin Sheryl and her shih tzu.