The Best And The Rest 98

It’s been awhile since I last posted a Top Ten, so here it is the first of 2009.

July 29, 2008 → The Top Ten Seatmate/Katabi Moments – Xmas Child

1. Jaja – True story of my tita. She was so heartbroken because she was pregnant & her boyfriend didn’t marry her. She decided to go to the US to start anew. She kept crying on the plane, & her seatmate helped her not only to get through the flight, but also her life. They’ve been married for more than 40 years now.
2. Seb – I was waiting for my girlfriend in the car. Another car pulled up with 4 of the most gorgeous guys. They started taking off their clothes with the doors open. I didn’t tell na my girlfriend coz she might think I’m gay. Yuck.
3. Jun13 – During exam, my seatmate, in a very l0ud v0ice, asked the other clasmate: “HOY, ANO SAGOT SA #3!”, n0t realizing he was wearing earph0nes.
4. Mark – I had a seatmate nung grade school na na-ihi sa upuan, pero he denied na ihi yung “puddle of water” na nasa seat niya. Sabi niya, “natap0n lang yung c0leman ko…”
5. Bennet – In school, I put my bag in the empty seat next to me.  When my ballpen ran out of ink, without looking, I reached for the bag’s zipper, opened it, then rummaged inside for my pen.  Only to realize that a male classmate already put my bag down and was already sitting in the chair.
6. Marcus – My wife and I watched Magnifico and beside was a burly maton with a bunch of his friends. They were noisy and rowdy. By the middle of the movie, they were silent, and by the end I could actually hear him sniffling. On the way out I heard him say to one of his friends, “Pare, sang part ka bumigay?”
7. Alle – During Bible study, my seatmate prayed over me and said with all the passion in the world, “Jesus, get out of this man!!!” I had to whisper, “‘Tol, pinapalayas mo si Jesus…” He countered, ” Ay mali! Oh my God, sorry Jesus, come back! Come back!”
8. Kresha – During summer, never ride in the middle section of an fx with aircon na mahina, and never sit beside a huge guy coz you’ll surely feel his sweaty arms.
9. Vi – We had an annoying busmate who always made it a point to count her money in front of all the people in the bus.
10. Kibble – I was writing a note that I was going to pass to my crush that was supposed to say, “I’m hungry”.  But I wasn’t finished yet, when the teacher called me.  I panicked and passed the unfinished note to my crush.  She read it, then shot me an angry look.  Apparently, all I was able to write was, “I’m hung”.
11. Geyp – My seatmate had roughly around 90 ballpens. But we can never borrow, not even one. Ginagawa niya kasi yung spaceship!
12. Jose de vengenge – In my english class. Seatmate: “Ma’am may I go out?” Teacher: “Why?” Seatmate: “Umm.. Because father mother me!” Teacher: “What?” Seatmate: “Ma’am, tata ina ako!”
13. Jose de vengenge - One time I heard a kikay seatmate jokingly prayed this way: “In the name of the powder and of the blush-on and of the glossy lipstick.. SALAMEN.”
14. No name – When I was in college I would always pray for a less attractive girl to be my seatmate. Because in those days, di pa uso ang “trimming”. So whenever may katabi akong hot girl, it’s like torture kasi pag bigla akong pinatayo, “nasasabunutan” ako.
15. Ynaki – I’ll never forget this jeepney seatmate, with bleeding hands under his shirt, that when the passengers checked if he’s badly hurt, we were shocked to see severed fingers with rings still on them. It appeared that he’s a holdupper who’s on the run!
16. Jedi Mstr – Pedro: “Blanko ang papel ko.” Juan: “Ako din blanko!” Pedro: “Naku, baka isipin ni ma’am nagkopyahan tayo!”
17. Jose de vengenge – Two gays magkatabi sa pool. Maya-maya, may lumutang na condom. One gay said to the other: “Girl, umutot ka?”