The Best And The Rest 88

This is so embarrassing.  To have re-posted something that I’ve posted months ago.  I concede to the ravages of aging. Fine, it’s memory gap.  Fine I’m old.  Start sending the dentures and the adult diapers to the station.  Get my room ready at the home for the aged.  Hopefully I haven’t posted this one yet, the one about virgins.  Last words meaning, they’re about to die virgins, or they’re about to lose “it”.

July 10, 2008 → The Top Ten Last Words Of A Virgin

1. Maximo/Design8ed Driver/Ronwaldo/Manoy/Abel – Inside a bus, a bunch of armed men went onboard and said at gunpoint: Holdaper: “Lahat ng babae gagahasain!” Young Girl: “Maawa na po kayo! Reypin niyo na lahat, wag lang ang lola ko!” Lola: “Che! Epal tong batang to! Di mo ba siya narinig, lahat daw rereypin! LAHAT!”
2. Tcams – “Pare wag…wag yan…may lotion sa drawer…”
3. Atty Cabs – “Hep, hep, sabi mo hahawakan ko lang?”
4. Jamfong – Holdaper: “Holdap to!” Girl: “SAKL0L0! Rape! Raaape!” Holdaper: “Teka, bakit rape? Ang sabi ko holdap to!” Girl: “Eto naman…nagsu-suggest lang naman…”
5. MNEMONIC – Sa mga old maid na about to do it, bagay ang kantang: “Bakit ngayon ka lang dumating sa buhay ko, pilit binubuksan ang sarado ko ng pu…”
6. Alem – “Dont! Stop! Dont! Stop! Don’t stop…don’t stop…”
7. Rogie – Girl: “Idedemanda kita ng 2 counts of rape!” Boy: “Bakit 2 counts? Eh isang beses lang naman kita ginalaw ah!” Girl: “Ay bakit, hindi na ba tayo uulit?”
8. Mr. Perk – “Free taste! Free taste, po!”
9. MMR – THOUGHT FOR TODAY: “Do not worry about avoiding sexual temptations. As you get older, they start avoiding you.”
10. bottom dweller – “Huwag! Huwag! Hayup ka! Tarantado! Taran…taran…taraaaaap!”
11. Sc – “Sabi mo parang kagat lang ng langgam…masarap pala kumagat ang langgam…”
12. Dru – “Wag po, koya! Di ako si Enday! Si Dodong aku!”
13. Jun13 – “Puwede daliri ko muna gamitin ko, for practice?” (A sushi virgin, about to eat sushi for the very first time trying to use chopsticks.)
14. No name – A girl was so quiet on her wedding night that the next day, her family asked why she was so silent.  The girl answered, “Eh diba sabi niyo, don’t talk when your mouth is full?”
15. Ynaki – “Come and get it, walang pangit sa virging galit!”
16. Jose de vengenge – Girl: “Ako ba ang unang babaeng dinala mo dito?” Boy: “Oo naman, dati kasi puro lalaki…”
17. Rogie – Koya: “Di mo sinabi sa kin…first time mo pala?” Yaya: “Hende po koya, elong ko yan…”