Puerto Galera (The Experience)

Despite the threat of Typhoon Nina, we braved the portentous clouds and went ahead with our trip.  We were monitoring the weather websites as to whether we should cancel or push through because all signs indicate that Nina will hit on the exact days of our vacation. The boat ride was nothing short of terrifying, with the captain seemingly losing control of the boat at one point, with waves going above the roof of the ferry, and the boat thrashing and careening at perilous angles, threatening to topple the vessel at a whim.  Most everyone was visibly shaken, except, apparently, me. While everyone was white with fright, I was oblivious to the sounds of the thundering waves, since I had John Denver blasting away in my iPod earpiece.  Somehow, John warbling, “Take me home, country roads to the place where I belong…” put me in a place far, far away…at least from this little boat teetering on the brink of sinking, in the middle of giant churning waves in the MIndoro channel.

Delle was cursing the day I was born for giving the go-signal for this trip.  All visible color had drained from her face by the time we reached land, sweet, land.  We just docked at Muelle, to transfer to a smaller sppedboat to take us to Buri.  But as I shared in the last post, the resort was a dream to stay in (despite a glitch or two), so all regrets of going faded slowly into the horizon.

It was a surprisingly sedate holiday.  Usually, our vacations are like thongs: we try to squeeze in as much as we can into a finite space.  But with this one, we just decided to do something we were in dire need to do: relax.  So we basically spent most of the 3 days just lounging around, sleeping, lounging some more, eating, capped of with some more lounging…around.  We only swam in the pool once.  We skipped the island hopping and snorkling that came with the package.  Delle went to the spa a lot.

It’s been a harrowing past couple of months for us, especially for me, so it felt like an oasis in a vast desert of stress.  Somehow, being physically away from everything that’s been plaguing me was more than just symbolic, but gave me actual relief.  I had no headaches, I had no bouts with depression, I had no panic attacks, just pure unadulterated peace.  I even had a smile on my face, which in these days, seems like such a rare commodity, a luxury I can’t seem to afford.

The 3 days passed by like a blur.  I could hardly even remember any details of how we spent the vacation.  The only thing that sticks out was everytime we’d hang out at the dock, just sitting there, or lying there, with Nina puffing her cool winds in our faces, the sound of the waters rushing to shore, and just enjoying the simple life that seemed so out of reach at the time.

Plus, we also saw a dead sea snake on the shore.  We thought it died a natural death, but when we turned it over, we saw its guts all over the sand.  It looked like a violent death.

We loved the quiet life the 3 days afforded us.  It was nice seeing the fisherfolk go about their business as we watched them, as we perched on the dock.  But like most good things ( but to be fair, as well as the bad), it must come to an end.  So we practically had to pry ourselves away from our island retreat and trudged on back home.  Don’t get me wrong, we love that we have homes to come home to, it’s just that the rest was REALLY nice.  It was one of my most uneventful vacations, but it was also one of the nicest.  I’ve forgotten how good doing nothing feels.

But to be fair to Nina (the acoustic storm), she was really nice to us.  With the exception of a really intense rainshower on the 2nd night, and a few episodes of light drizzling, the most we felt of her was the strong winds blowing 24/7 (wow, Nina was blowing all-day, all-night!).  Mostly it was just pleasantly cloudy, but at least there was very little rain.  Plus, the ferry back home was smoother than a baby’s butt.  Oh well, it’s over now.  Those late afternoons at the dock are but distant memories.  Time to work hard again so we can afford another vacation in the future.  Such is the cycle of life.  Or at least the middle class version.

Al Paradise

Lordy.  I couldn’t breathe laughing at this video when I saw it.  It’s the intro of some Italian show in the 80′s.  It’s got the best choreography EVER.  And I LOVE that girl, whoever she is.  They should give her an award like, “The Best Performer Of The Century”, or something.  Wow, this REALLY made my day.  It brought me back to high school…

The Best And The Rest 69

I love language.  Ever since I was young, I always loved grammar and its many quirks.  I love checking out words that I don’t understand in the dictionary.  I love reading grammar books and manuals on writing.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a snob, but I also find it so much fun to study the different grammatical errors that people make.  Besides, I make so many myself.  But if pointed out constructively and not in a rude way, I actually love it when people correct me when I’m wrong.  Better corrected than making the same mistake over and over again.

June 2, 2008 → The Top Ten Grammatical Errors That Gave You A Headache

1. No name – A note from an inter-office memo: “Dear sir: w/ reference to my above, please refer to my below.”
2. Jose de vengenge – Slogan of Sr. Pedro’s Lechon Manok: “Once tasted, always wanted.”
3. Jose de vengenge - In a resort in Rizal: “Not allowed to swim: t-shirt & maong. Allowed to swim: sando & shorts.”
4. No name – I went to Vietnam and saw this sign in a resto: “no pay, no delicious”.
5. jen70 – “I’m chicken tired of you!” (dahil para akong manok?)
6. No name – We were eating squid for dinner and I blurted out, “Guys, who wants my testicles?” (I meant tentacles)
7. Kyle – Our boss: “Is Randy is there?”
8. Ramiele Malunggay – “When it rains, it’s four!”
9. Kage – In a bus terminal near NAIA: “No outsider allowed inside!”
10. Jose de vengenge – “So far, so good…so far.”
11. Mcsupremy – In our church, pastor Santos was very sick, but all of a sudden, he got better. So the whole church made a banner: “GOD is good. Pastor Santos is better!”
12. Goldfish – Every morning our manager would update us. She would always start with, “For your FYI…”
13. Russell - Street sign: “Dumb truck, no entry.”
14. Yen – My brod sa org told us about his English teacher in HS who said angrily: “Simple follow you cannot instruction, how can you graduation?”
15. Cutericme – Friend: “Wat dat?” Me: “Pare, lagyan mo ng ‘S’.” Friend: “Wat dats?”
16. Kaliwete Kid – We had a dept outing this weekend. The admin sent an email askng for our shoe sizes.  It said: “Attendees will be receiving free fleep flaps.”
17. Lie - A boss asked one of his employees: “May I see you pretty soon?” The employee answerd: “Why, don’t you think I’m pretty now?”
18. Lie – In a restaurant I overheard a customer ask: “Do you have a specialty?” The waiter answered: “Sorry sir, we only have iced tea.”
19. Daisy6 – Melanie Marquez: “Ang tatay ko ang only Living Legend na buhay pa!”
20. Joyce – During a beach outing, an officemate said, “Tara, let’s go sand-bathing!”
21. Tere – “Well, well, well, look do we have here!”
22. Chinky – We once received a message from our scheduler: “I need the death certificates of the following employees: Dennis Cruz, Maryann Fernando, John Aquino.”
23. SPY Shadow – Overheard during a dance party. Man: “May I dance?” Woman: “Centerly!”
24. No name – Taken from a guard’s log book: “Security supervisor visited my post and passed away after five minutes.”
25. No name – “Ang sakit ng MIND GRAIN ko!”
26. Twylyt – When my assistant tells a client that she’ll give them feedback, she goes: “Ma’am I’ll feed you back nalang po.”
27. No name – “Goats’ for sale” and “Goat,s for sale”.
28. JP – “Keep that bear in mind.”
29. Techie777 – Actual stuff written in patients’ medical charts in a certain public hostpital: 1. “Discharge status: alive but without permission.” 2. “She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.” 3. “The patient refused autopsy.” 4. “She is numb from her toes down.”
30. Gorgeous Bitch – “I don’t give a dumb!”
31. Stunnedsilence – A letter envelope w/o return address marked: “Guest who?”
32. Evochiq – When I was applying in a call center I heard the front desk ask one of the applicants: “Are you a walk-in applicant?” He answered: “No, I commute!”
33. Ivan - “It’s my alma mother.”
34. Ginny – “Once in a bloom.”
35. The Dark Passenger – At a wedding: “Let’s give them a warm of applause!”
36. No name – “I second emotion!”
37. Curly – “Ang sakit ng STEEP NECK ko!”
38. No name – Sign in a tiangge selling bedroom items: “For sale: BED SHIT.”
39. Untamed Swan – A sign in a Korean store: “No chewing cum.”
40. Jose de vengenge – In cubao: “This lot not 4 sale. Call 0917…”

Puerto Galera (The Resort)

We were so glad to be back on land after a petrifying boat ride, but more on that in my next post.  For this one, let me talk about the resort we stayed in.  We stayed in Buri Resort & Spa (www.buri-resort.com).  We’ve been eyeing this resort for a couple of years now, ever since we found their website and saw a flyer they had.  It seemed really interesting, but at the same time affordable.  But in the summer of 2004, on our way to another resort, we passed by Buri and it looked pretty decrepit, far from how the pictures looked in the pamphlet.  We were disappointed and scrapped this resort out of our list.  But when we saw the new website, announcing its re-opening in October 2007 after a major renovation, with its impressive pictures (and a new partnership with Nurture Spa), we decided to finally check it out.

And boy, were we glad we did.  The resort was just as nice as it looked in their website.  The moment we saw the layout of the resort, we knew we made the right decision to go there.  The main area was breathtaking with its 2 pools, and greenery all around.

If not for the nippy winds, we would’ve jumped right into the pool the minute we got there.  But as is the case whenever we get to a resort, we were excited to see the rooms as well.  We got the Family Villa, which is the mid-sized villa of the 3 types, and again, we were NOT disappointed.

It’s got 2 floors, the bottom one containing the main bedroom, and the top one with 3 extra beds.  The main bedroom is just perfect.  It’s got a killer view of the pool area and the sea, all visible from the bed.  What a view to wake up to.  It’s also got sliding doors in front and on both sides of the bed, which you can open up for an indoor-outdoor feel.

The 2nd floor bedroom isn’t as fantastic, but it’s pretty cozy as well.  It’s got 3 beds (actually 2, but one has a pull-out), and it also has a view of the resort.  Both have aircons and fans for the summer heat, which we hardly used, since the weather was chilly the whole time we were there.

But one thing has to be said about this resort.  We’ve been to many resorts, but hands downs, this one has THE BEST PILLOWS AND BEDSHEETS EVER! No other resort even comes close to the quality of the pillows and bedsheets.  The pillows seem like feather pillows so it’s got the right amount of softness and firmness, and the sheets must’ve had an impressive thread count.  So nice.

The toilets were cute too, nothing fantastic, but not bad either.

And when it wasn’t raining, we’d have our meals in these wonderful daybeds right next to the shore.  A nice quaint touch to an already impressive resort.

Overall, the resort is a winner, with more bang for your buck than most resorts in the Philippines.  ALMOST perfect.  One sour note though.  The service.  Don’t get me wrong, the service is excellent.  The staff is friendly, and very efficient.  The pool boy is cleaning the pool 24/7, taking out the leaves practically the whole day, making the pool crystal clear and constantly inviting.  So why am I giving the service low marks?

On our first night, the last call for food and drinks was at 9pm.  We weren’t even finished with our food yet when we were informed of the last call.  We found this odd, to say the very least, because most guests don’t even eat dinner until 8 or 9pm!  I guess because there were only 2 groups, us included, and they figured they could close up shop earlier.

Worse, on the 2nd night, after the other group left, we were asked for our final orders at 8pm!  What restaurant asks for final call at 8pm?!? So we were freaking out because we still wanted drinks and desserts but the whole staff left us there, at 8pm, with nothing more to eat or drink.  That was a deal breaker for us.  Major boo-boo.  It’s not just bad for the guests, but it’s bad for the resort as well.  It was lost revenue for them because we would’ve ordered drinks till the wee hours of the morning!  We found out later that the resort hasn’t hired a manager yet, so basically the staff is running the place on their own, going Lord of the Flies on us.  I don’t know if the owner knows about this, but they should.  When you pay good money for a resort, you expect to be pampered like guests.  Those two nights, we felt like unwanted interlopers who were imposing on the “homeowners”. This is one resort that is in dire need of a MANAGER.

But come morning, the staff is back and is efficient as ever.  The service is top-notch IF they’re there.  That was the only flaw (and a HUGE one at that), in an otherwise impressive resort.  What a shame.

(To Be Continued…)

The Best And The rest 68

Well, I have a long way to go to sort out my pictures, so it’s back to business with a Top Ten post.  It’s so fitting that it’s an internet topic since it’s something I had to do without for the past couple of days.  It’s just a weird feeling, like you were cut off from the rest of the world.  But I must say, it was refreshing to have no TV, no internet, no newspaper…nothing.

May 29, 2008 → The Top Ten Internet Moments

1. Techie 777/Daisy6 - A little boy goes to his father and asks, “Daddy, how was I born?” The dad answers, “Well son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway. Your mom and I got together in a chatroom. I set up a date via email and we met at a cybercafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, I upgraded my floppy disk to a stiffy, then your mom agreed to do a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discoverd that neither of us had used a firewall. And since it was too late to hit the delete button, 9 months later, a blessed little pop-up appeared and said: ‘You’ve got male!’”
2. Datgurl – My brother was chatting over at mirc. There was this girl who messaged him asking, “Wer u at?” My brother said, “Sa internet cafe.” The girl said, “Ay, sige, bye. I only talk to guys na may sariling pc.” What she didn’t know was, he OWNS the internet cafe. Talk about gold diggers!
3. No name – I was on Friendster, and I saw my boyfriend’s new account, so I gave him a comment, saying “Love u, mwah!” The next day my mom said “Huli ka!” I found out later that it was my mom who created the account.
4. No name – I am an avid RF online gamer, and I have a friend online. He’s a specialist, and I buy ammo from him. One day, I met him during our grand EB, and he turned out to be the vocalist of RAZORBACK!!! W0000H! A rockstar supplies me ammo!
5. Asymptomatic – There’s this girl that I wanted to court who also plays this online game I’m playing. She was only playing before summer ended, and she wanted to get married in the game before she retired. What I did was, one Saturday, I warped her to her fave spot (named proposal hill) knelt down, then gave her a tiara and a diamond ring. Instead of typing my proposal, I called her up and told her over the phone. We got hitched after 2 weeks.
6. Marcus - Sometimes I have no choice but to answer my 5yo son’s difficult questions with either “I’ll look it up online later” or “Only God knows why.” One day he said to me, “Dad, you know who knows the answer to everything? The internet! And Jesus too!”  Jesus just got second billing.
7. Weng – I was chatting one night when one of my chatters asked the one question that I hate the most: “Saan ka now? Sa bahay o sa café?” So I answered: “Dito sa bahay, nagka-kape.”
8. No name – One day my dad left the computer open, and he forgot to sign out. Naughty thing I did was to open the sent item. Imagine my shock when I saw an emailed letter to his first love saying, “I still miss you.” I still keep that secret up until now. My mom has no idea.
9. Rodel Garcia – I subscribed to a sleazy yahoo group. A few days after, a post from a guy looking for someone to trade porn with. He stated that he prefers pinoy vids. He then posted his cell phone number. He turned out to be one of my best friends, using a different name. I forwarded his email to our other friends, so alaskado siya sa amin when wesaw each other next.
10. No name – I’m a mountaineer, but secretly doing it for a few months now! Meaning, my mom doesn’t know about it.  Last month, after I got home from a climb, my mom askd me, “Saan ka ba talaga galing?” It gave me the creeps, thinking how she found out where I’ve gone that weekend. Eventually, I learned that she accessed my Friendster account through my younger brother’s account.
11. Lilacstardust – I found out that somebody plagiarized my blog. She’s such a loser coz she plagiarized my beach experience, including my opinions and stuff.
12. Louise – The Imdb (Internet movie database) site has loads of users w/ crazy sigs. One goes, “If you choke a smurf, what color wud it be?”
13. Shao – Believe it or not, in 2003, I got to chat with Aaron Carter, complete w/ webcam. Mga 15 minutes, nagkuwento lang siya about Heart Evangelista & Angelica Panganiban. Apparently, si Heart and Angelica lang ang naaalala niya dito sa Pinas. Aaron Carter was eating mais during that time. Nobody believes me up to now, but it really happened. Btw, it was Aaron who buzzed me for a chat. I was in a US chatroom. At first, I didn’t believe that it was him until he turned on his cam.
14. JKhunter – I implemented a webfilter system in our compny to block pornsites. When I was checking the logs, I caught a user tryng to access one, so I warned him. Later, I browsed the site myself.
15. The Director - I met this girl through a dating site. We became regular chatmates up until the point that we were doing sex chats. One evening, she revealed her true identity. That was the last time I chatted with her. She turned out to be one of my former students.
16. Curt Smith – The 1st time we had internet at home, I tried browsing a porn site. Big mistake! I browsed a site that had adware, which changed my homepage to the porn site. So now, when the kids have to use the computer, they have to close their eyes 1st while I change the site.
17. Louise - I belong to a CSI gsr forum. One of the basic rules in a forum is to use proper spelling and grammar. A few of the newbies were warned that they should take care of character spelling because they kept calling Warrick, Warwick. Turned out they were Brits, and they pronounce Warwick, as “Warrick”.
18. Joltino – Whenever I check my Multiply site, my sister and her friends would spam my guestbook. They normally type lots of gibberish.
19. Marijo – I heard about this one client calling a call center complaining that he just wants to book a flight from expedia.com. But whenever he goes to the site, he sees a porn site insted. Turned out, he kept on typing sexpedia.com.
20. Jose de vengenge – In a netshop, I was watching porn for my thesis. Di ko alam I turned the volume so high that everyone could hear the moans & groans until the one beside me told me to turn it down. I felt so embarassd that I left.
21. Jose de vengenge – I was having a sexy chat with this girl from Budapest. GIRL: “If my right leg was your lunch & my left leg was your dinner, which do you prefer?” ME: “Uhm…can I have the snack in between?”

We’re Back!

We’re back! Aaah…we really needed that.  It was way too short, a 3-day, 2-night stay is always over before it starts, but I’m not complaining.  I’m back with a bagful of pictures and stories.  I’ll tell you all about it once I settle in and fix my pics.  I’ll tell you all about: the resort, what we did, Nina the acoustic storm, and as much as I can tell, without getting into trouble.

But I’m pretty glad I’m back too.  I heard our 2 little ones, Nairobi and Cairo, would cry every night that we were gone.  They’re quiet versions of breeds known for their yappiness.  For some reason, our dogs don’t really bark much.  But while we were away, our yaya said the 2 would howl and whine all night.  So I’m mighty glad to see them and play with them again.

Plus, the weather took a turn for the worse.  I think it’s worse now than it was when we left.  The heavens poured tubfuls of rain so we were greeted with a monstrous traffic jam on the SLEX on our way home.  What a nightmare!  What should’ve taken just a couple of hours from Batangas port, extended to a headache-inducing crawl back home.

So, I’m all done for the day.  I’m too pooped to tattle about anything substantial until I get a good night’s sleep.  So just wait until I put my life back in order, out of vacation mode and back into everyday grind mode, then I’ll post all the junk inside my trunk.  Glad to be back!

I Need A Break!

(Pardon the kindergarten-level art, it’s my first attempt at drawing)

To quote The Go-Go’s: “Vacation’s all I ever wanted…” We’re going on a much-needed break.  This isn’t my annual major vacation; that’s coming up in November.  But that’s still a good 2 months from now, and I don’t know if I got enough wind in my sail to coast by until then.  Lord knows 2008 turned out to be a tougher year than I expected, so holidays, however fleeting, are  nevertheless life-saving emotional oases that give brief respites from life’s heat.

But funny thing is, after a great sunny week, and after we’ve chosen the dates and booked the resort, we get news that a typhoon just brewed and now threatens our much-needed vacation!  Typoon “Nina”, the acoustic storm, is hovering ever so menacingly, looming large and creeping closer by the inch, as if taunting us with the prospect of dousing our bonfire of happiness (whatever’s left of it).  So here I am, writing on the eve of our 3-day vacay, praying for a reprieve.  Of course there’s no arguing or bargaining with fate, but hey, let me throw it our there.  All is not lost; if I “The Secret”-ize it, maybe we’ll get our beach bonanza after all, replete with sunny skies and oily half-naked bodies traipsing along the pearly shores.

I also heard that there’s free internet, so maybe I’ll get to blog after all.  If not, then you’ll hear from me on Tuesday night or Wednesday.  Sigh.  I REALLY need this vacation, especially when I’m almost running on empty.  I need to breastfeed from Mother Nature’s sandy teats.  I need to drink from Mother Ocean’s wet watery womb.  Thy will be done.  But give the poor guy a break.

The Best And The Rest 67

Yebah!  This is the kind of topic that let’s all the pervy entries come out of the woodwork.  That’s the beauty of code names.  You get to expose yourself all you want, but ironically under the cloak of anonymity.  So to the pervert bautistas out there…ENJOY!

May 27, 2008 → The Top Ten Sexperiences

1. Bottom Dweller – Guys, there is this sensual massage extra service where you get the hot & cold treatment, where the girl drinks hot tea then cold juice alternately, while giving you a… you-know-what. The hot & cold treatment is called oj-bj, or orange juice b*** j*** in a place along Quezon Ave.
2. Arwen – Sobrang dumi ng phone ko yesterday. It was so full of dirty text messages we exchanged the whole day.
3. Maximo – Ang pinakamalambot na body part ng bading ay ang kanilang baba? Kasi kahit ilang beses humampas ang baba nila sa itlog, hindi nababasag ang itlog.
4. Maximo – Ang pagkain ng mani ay nakakabingi.  Nung naipit ulo ko sa hita, natakpan ang mga tenga ko, kaya wala akong marinig.
5. JDV – Texts between guwapo and gay.  Guwapo: “Love, pa-load naman P100, sex tayo after.” Gay: “0k!” (nagmadaling naghanap ng loading area) Gay: “Na-receive mo na love?” Guwapo: “HU U?”
6. JDV/Louise – LOLO: Apo, buhatin mo nga ako. APO: Saan ko po kayo dadalhin, sa toilet o sa kuwarto? LOLO: Hindi, ipatong mo ako sa Lola mo.
7. JDV – Pulis: Ilan ang nang-reyp sa ‘yo? Babae: Walo po. Pulis: Alam mo ba mga pangalan nila? Babae: Ay, iisa lang po pangalan nila. Pulis: Ano? Babae: “NEXT” po.
8. Cleaver – At a male barkada inuman, we spotted a dog licking his thingy. Amid the laughter, one guy exclaimed, “Siguro dream ng lahat ng guys magawa yan sa sarili!” After he said that, awkward silence.
9. Jesse Jude – A farmer lad was walking in the fields with a pretty girl. When they saw a bull mating with a cow, the lad told the girl, “I’d sure like to do what that bull is doing!” The girl answered, “Go ahead, it’s your cow!”
10. Spongebob – My then girlfriend and I, did it the first time on a double deck bed with her younger brother sleeping on the upper deck.  When things were getting a little rough, her brother woke up, went down the bed and ranto his parents house shouting, “Mama! Lumilindol!!!!”
11. Amber – An officemate was talking about her friend’s honeymoon. It was the girl’s 1st time and when the guy got naked and she saw his large member, she got so terrified and started running! The guy chased her in his nakedness, running around the room.
12. Dru – Some time ago, while in the throes of passion, my girlfriend blurted out, “Oooh…aaah…let’s get married!” Talk about killing the moment.
13. Febkinse – I have a friend who is a medical student, and once they had a patient who went to the ER late at night, because they were stuck together down there.
14. Allan – I’m queasy with uncooked food.  So when my wife queefed while I was…”down there”…I barfed the dinner I just ate.
15. Pandaytira – I was on a summer outing with my officemate-slash-friend with benefits. While chilling and chattng with friends, we were covered with blankets. She reached for my fly, unzipped it, blah blah blah…while talkng to the rest of the gang.
16. Draco’s Biatch – For 3 nights, our house was pestered by a pervert caller wanting SOP. When my mom got to answer the phone, he asked her to strip & touch herself. She answered calmly, “Iho, sabayan mo ako, ‘Ama namin, sumasalangit ka…’” That ruined it for the horny caller.
17. Ken – When my frend tried “the backdoor” for the first time…the girl fainted at the point of entry!
18. Jacq - Mom: Anak, panahon na para pag-usapan natin ang sex. Anak: Uhm, ok. So ano ba gusto niyong matutunan?
19. Sicnarf – FYI, in most monasteries of monks & nuns in the country, papaya is served at least once a week.
20. No name – A foreigner and a Pinay were on their honeymoon. While doing it, the Pinay got thirsty and said, “Tubig! Tubig!” The foreigner smugly said, “Actually honey, it’s just the normal American size.”
21. Dru – 4 years ago, I went out w/ someone for dinner, a movie & mind-blowing sex. When I got out of the shower for round 3, my date was gone…and so was my phone, PDA, wallet & bracelet.
22. Scofiled – Giving in to my then future husband on our 10th visit. It must’ve been the japanese-inspired room. Kaya sa pangalawang beses, sumuko na naman ang Bataan.
23. Amanite – What is a hymen? It is a Thin sheet of flesh, like a membrane, inside a woman’s vajayjay. Its primary purpose is to greet entering penises: “Hi, men!”
24. Humdinger – I have a friend who was about to do the “deed”.  The girl said, “Hindi puwede, meron ako…” My friend said that’s okay with him. Then when he touched it, ang nakapa niya, bukol! Lalake pala ang loko.
25. No name – WRONG SEND OF THE DAY: “Pare, huwag mong kalimutang dalhin yung condom ha? Luv u.”
26. Chouji – While we were doing “it”, I heard her cry out in pain. I asked if she was still a virgin, but she answered, “You’re too heavy…”
27. YñaKì – Inside a parlor, I overheard this: A ‘matrona’ was asked by the gay parloristas when was the last time she had sex. She answered, “1959!”. “Ang tagal na nun!” they said. The matron replied, “Anong matagal, eh 10:45 pa lang ngayon ah!”
28. Tristan – Wife: Sino ‘tong baby na nag-text sa yo? Husband: Lalaki yan! Baby lang ang palayaw. Kumpare ko yan! Wife: Puwes, di raw kayo tuloy ng ‘kumpare’ mo kasi may mens siya!
29. Xtinger – Nanay: Diba sabi ko sa yo na pag hinawakan ang boobs mo, say ‘DON’T!’ At pag hinawakan ang pepe mo, say ‘STOP!’. Eh bakit ka nabuntis? Anak: Eh sabay po niyang hinawakan ang boobs at ang pepe, kaya ang nasabi ko, ‘DON’T! STOP!’
30. JDV – In bed, gusto ni mister mag hanky-panky with misis. Misis: “Not tonight, I have an appointment with my OB tomorrow, dyahe naman pag may sperm sa loob.” Mister: (long pause) “Eh sa dentist, may appointment ka?”

The Evolution Of Cairo

Remember this little cutie-pie?

He was just a wee 3 months old when we got him.  Well, just to give a little update, our little Yorkie is now almost 7 months, so he’s a tween now, and he likes the Disney Channel now, and his favorite tween star is Miley Cywoof (hehehe…).  The past 4 months were quite harrowing at times; he’s a bit accident prone, this little fella.  First, he got this yeast infection on his skin, which got all flakey, like dandruff; actually more like dried oatmeal.  Second, he had a bad bout of protozoa in his system, which we guess he got when he drank from a vase full of week-old rainwater.  He was vomiting and had diarrhea for almost a week.  I was so worried.  And worst of all, he almost lost his eyesight when he had major gashes in both eyes, and was in serious danger of going blind.  I was a mess.  I was worried sick and was at his side most of the time.  He survived all three crises with flying colors with the help of antibiotics and tons of other meds.

So my little boy really gave me quite a scare.  Most of my pets give me an “initiation”.  They’ll scare me half to death as if to test my dedication as their human.  Dukey fell from the 22nd floor, Aras had the worst case of fungus that made his hair fall off, Isis bit off the staples from her surgery wound after she got spayed, Nairobi almost died of dehydration due to diarrhea, and Cairo almost went blind.

The first thing I fell in love with, were Cairo’s perky ears.  Eventually his hair started growing so his ears seemed even larger than before, with all the feathering going on.  He looked like some kind of alien furry bat.  It was around this time when he earned our pet name for him “sabal”, which we heard was monkey in Arabic, because he started looking like a Golden Lion Tamarin.

Anyway, here are some pics of that stage:

Then eventually as time passed, his hair kept growing even longer, so long that his ears could no longer support the weight of all that hair.  His wonderful perky ears started to droop down, so he looked like a scraggly semi-sheepdog.  I still found him terribly cute, but he no longer looked like the Cairo I remembered.  He looked like a hippie Farrah Fawcett!  If there was ear Viagra, I would’ve administered him a pill or two.

In my next post, I’ll share the pictures we had taken for the “Pose for PAWS” event, where proceeds of the photoshoot went to the PAWS upkeep.  Also, I’ll share pics of how he looks now, after he got his first real Yorkie cut, complete with rocker pony!  Plus, with the tips of his ears shaved, and the hair trimmed, his ears are standing up again!

The Best And The Rest 66

I love these combative Top Tens.  Not so much because I enjoy conflict, in fact I abhor it, but because behind the warfare lies a lot of intelligent debate.  It makes us think as to what we agree or disagree with and why.  In short, it fosters critical thinking.  Since sexuality is so fluid nowadays, with gays, bisexuals, straight-curious, metrosexuals (isang metro nalang, homosexual na!), at the very core of it lies only two genders: male and female.  Even gay men are men who have female traits and lesbians are women with male traits.  As Prince said in “Let’s Go Crazy”, “It’s boy versus girl, in the world series of love!”

May 26, 2008 → The Top Ten Man Vs. Woman Quotes

1. Pixygal – Men pay 2 pesos for a 1-peso item that he needs. Women pay 1 peso for a 2-peso item that she doesnt need.
2. Francine Prito – “The smarter the woman gets, the more difficult for her to find the right man.” – Oprah Winfrey.
3. Lie – Women have many faults, while men only have 2: Everything they say & everything they do.
4. Aura/Kobe Kong – A woman marries a man hoping he will change, but he never does. A man marries a woman hoping she won’t change, but she always does.
5. Ian024 – Dick van Dyke: “Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise them.
6. Shining – Mark Twain: “Man was made at the end of the week’s work, when God was tired.
7. Shining – Women still remember their first kiss even after men have forgotten their last.
8. Ian024 – Edgard Watson Howe – One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money.
9. Lucas/Jesse – MAN: “I don’t know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful at the same time.” WOMAN: “God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me. God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!”
10. Sharon Bato – Men control the world, women control the men.
11. Raindancer – When it comes to sex, women need a reason while men need only a place.
12. Dru – Women are like guitars, you need to pluck the right strings. Men are like a pair of maracas, just shake and jiggle a lot and you’re making music together.
13. Jhong – Men have the superpowers of both Lastikman & Iron Man: humahaba man, matigas pa rin na parang bakal.
14. Febkinse – 70 ways to make a man happy: number 1 is to LOVE him. The rest is 69.
15. Yñaki – The only price for having more than one wife is. . .having more than one Monster-in-law!
16. Mr. Perk – Girls are grown up once they start wearing bras.  Boys are grown up once they start removing bras.
17. Mama Rosa – Men are like toilets: either they’re taken, out of order, or full of sh*t.
18. Bing – Women, regardless of time, when it’s the right guy, would want to get married. Men, on the other hand, regardless of who the girl is, when it’s the right time, would want to get married.
19. Racer – An English professor wrote “A woman w/o her man is nothing” He asked his students to punctuate it correctly. All males in the class wrote: “A woman, without her man, is nothng.” All females in the class wrote: “A woman: without her, man is nothing.”
20. Dojo – Men use love to get sex, while women use sex to get love.
21. Amanite The greatest revenge to a man who steals your woman is to let him have her…because a truly good woman can never be stolen.
22. Arxangel – In shopping: Man would buy a useful thing for P1000. Woman would buy a useless thing for P500.
23. No name – Lucky is the man who wins the 1st love of a woman. Luckier is the woman who wins the last love of a man.
24. Febkinse – My boss: “Ako ang batas, si misis ang diyos.”
25. No name – Wise men never get married because once they do, they become otherwise.
26. Mey – Men are like government bonds. They take sooo long to mature.
27. Ian024 – Madonna in the movie “Dangerous Game”: “Why did God create men? Because vibrators can’t mow the lawn.