I used to be hypersensitive when it came to the topic of age. I used to be the youngest in the family, the youngest in the barkada, the youngest in RX, etc. Suddenly, I woke up one day, and I’m one of the giant sequoia trees in a forest of saplings. But I guess when I hit the big 4-0, I decided that I wouldn’t let it matter. In an entertainment industry obsessed with age, I just decided to own it, and use my “advanced” age to my advantage and use it as a shtick, as opposed to whining about something I have no power over.

May 8, 2008 → The Top Ten Statements That Reveal Your Real Age (Sent in by Geyp)

1. Oliver/Evicat/Kobe Kong/Peter Perfect/Patring – A friend found out that I’m in a band, and she said, “Wow ang galing naman, tumutugtog ka sa combo!”
2. GRACiA/Rijo – Two friends and I were talkng over a 3-way telecon, then the guy said, “Ang dami natin. Hello, PARTYLINE?”
3. Cute-kikay – When my boyfriend and I were still new, his dad asked him, “So, kumusta naman kayo ng bata mo?”
4. Yenz – My boyfriend asked for prmission from his mom that he’s watching Bamboo’s concert. His mom answered, “Alin, Bamboo organ sa Las Piñas?”
5. Mikmik Power – Nung 1st salary ko, I treated my mom to Starbucks. When we got there, she told the waiter, “Anak, Blend 45 yung sa akin, ha?”
6. Drewbuttercream – If you ask someone, “Mag-on na ba kayo?”
7. No name – My boss told me the other day: “Pare, ano yang pinapanood mo? Bold?”
8. Makisig – If you want rootbeer but you order, “sarsaparilla”.
9. Yñaki – If you call skinny jeans, “baston na stretch”.
10. Diemyrus – My mom would tell my dad if he comes home late from work, “O, galing ka na naman sa kalachuchi mo!”
11. Jose de vengenge – If you text “LOL” to someone, and they answer, “Ulol ka rin!”
12. YñaKì – If someone ask you, “Ano ba ang ‘Flavor of the Month’ ng Magnolia ngayon?”
13. RC and Cess – I was watching CSI, when my uncle blurted out, ‘McGyver ba yan?’”
14. Guel Mytes – If you’re watching a movie and you ask, “Saan tayo, balcony o orchestra?”
15. Buribot – If you blurt out gems like, “Walastik ang trapik!”
16. Espeks – If the last org you joined was, “Uncle Bob’s Lucky 7 Club”.
17. Garfield – If you’re downloading porn and your friend goes, “Ano ba yan, puro bomba!”
18. RC N CESS – My mom was scolding me wen I left the ref open: “Wag mong iniwang bukas ang FRIGIDAIRE!”
19. Takleza/Espeks – If you’re meeting up at Glorietta, but your friend says, “Magkita-kita tayo sa Quad!”
20. KiD BuKid/Takleza – If you’re bragging about your new flip-flops and you say, “O, ang gara ng step-in kong Havaianas, no?”
21. JNL – My friend still says, “Magpa-parlor naman tayo!”
22. Awsom – If, after church, may nagyaya sa “Fiesta Karnabal”
23. Espeks – If you mean “malling”, but you say, “pagbubulakbol”.
24. Cheyenne – If instead of “Hi-five!”, you say, “Give me five!”
25. Zane – If you call hookers, “hostess”.
26. Hoiram – If you say, “Kain tayo sa Shangri-la, okey ang smorgasbord dun!”
27. CnigngNaBngus – If your friend never emails, so you write to him, “Hindi ka na lumiliham, gumamit ka ng makinilya para mabilis.”
28. XJ – My wife always refers to the police as “Metrocom”, and she is just 42.
29. Gerver – If you say “Kentucky naman tayo!”, instead of KFC.
30. MickyPup – If you call commercials, “patalastas”.
31. Jose de vengenge – “Ayyy…bakit ayaw na tumayo?”
32. Kukay – A friend from the office still refers to SM as “Shoemart”.
33. Mermaid – One time I asked my friend “Ano yung PSP, pareho ba yan ng ‘Game and Boy’?”
34. Raindancer – If your favorite cartoons is “Herculoids”. (Chico: Damn, Herculoids was really my favorite cartoon as a kid!)
35. Espeks – If a girl asks you, “May extra ka bang pasador?”
36. Jose de vengenge - When Friendster was still very new, a friend asked me “Marami ka na bang testis?” My mom overheard so she asked, “Anak, at kelan ka naman nagpadagdag ng betlog?”