13
Jul
08

The Best And The Rest 47

Back to the regular Top Tens!  I was getting OC about whether or not to consider the Anniversary Top Ten as The Best And The Rest 47, or since I named it differently, to just continue numbering with the next Top Ten in line.  I swear, such a loser, sweating over such details.  Obviously I decided to choose the latter option.

April 15, 2008 → The Top Ten Signs That You’re Not So Smart

  1. No name – My parents and my sister once visited the Sistine Chapel at the Vatican. After the visit, my mom went, “Nasaan na yung labing-lima pang chapels? Bakit isa lang yun? Akala ko ba 16 chapels?”
  2. No name – We were dining in a plush restaurant in Vigan and when the waiter handed the take out order to our economist boss saying, “Here ma’am your one dozen vigan longanisa.” Our boss asked, “ilang piraso yan?”
  3. No name – A friend was doing her 3-day diet. One of the requirements was to eat “half a grapefruit”. I told her, “Ha? Ang liit na nga ng ubas, hahatiin pa?”
  4. BedBathed Mitch – One time, nag-rereklamo ang girlfriend ko dahil masakit ang ulo nya. Sabi ko, “ganyan talaga, ang ulo parang tiyan, sumasakit kapag walang laman.” Ang sagot niya, “eh kumain naman ako ah…” Ayos.
  5. Princess17 - My aunt and I were eating in I-hop restaurant in LA. As we ordered our food the waiter asked my aunt, “how would you like your eggs, ma’am?” My aunt replied, “Cooked, please.”
  6. Ian024 – Former officemate: “Ang pangit nung ‘Scary Movie’, hindi naman scary…”
  7. XJ – My wife was having coffee with a friend and her boyfriend who is a programmer. My wife asked the guy what language he knows and he said, “Java.” All of the sudden, the girl said, “Talaga? Sige nga, say something in Java!” After that…silence.
  8. zero cool - Our company needed to send 3 employees to the US. Our boss asked us who has a visa. My officemate raised her hand…and brought out her credit card.
  9. No name – Back in college, one of my friends mentioned the Ninja Turtles. Another friend blurted out,  “Diba palaka yung mga Ninja Turtles?”
  10. zero cool – My officemate said that her fave game is chess, just to look smart. So I asked her what is right beside the king and queen. She answered, “Eh di jack!” Haaay.
  11. Naky - Barker ng bus: “Ah Cubao, cubao, cubao, cubao, cubao, cubao, cubao, cubao, cubao, cubao, cubao, cubao!!!!” Pasahero: “Boss…Cubao?”
  12. KissMyJudas - Me: “Sige nga, kung talagang fan ka ni Celine Dion, saang bansa siya galing?” Friend: “Canada!” Me: Mali! Sa Quebec siya galing, noh!”
  13. The Game – I actually witnessd this in a fastfood court. The lady asked the crew, “Meron kayong juice?” The crew replied, “Ay maam, ‘mountain juice’ na lang po…”
  14. No name – Wife: “Gusto ko magpa-dagdag ng boobs!” Husband: “Bahala ka, pero ewan ko lang kung babagay sa ‘yo ang tatlong suso…”
  15. Phoebechikay – One time, I tried to butt in my friends’ conversation. I heard one say, “Mae and I are going VEGAN.” I blurted, “Ay, kelan kayo pupunta? Sama ako!” Akala ko kasi, VIGAN.
  16. Eli Gonzales – When I was in grade 6, I thought “lesbian” was a nationality. One time, a friend saw a lesbian couple and said to me “look at those lesbians”. I replied, “mukha naman silang pinoy…”
  17. Louie – Friend: “Saan kayo pupunta?” Me: “Sa fort.” Friend: “Alin, kung saan lumalafag yung airflane?”
  18. The Real Curly – Yung friend ko pinabili ko ng “saging con yelo”. Pagbalik niya, may dala siyang saging na dilaw.
  19. Dad of Chickbiatch – My wife saw my son eating lunch and she asked, “O anak, kumain ka na ba?”
  20. Skye – My friend once argued “Sabi sa Discovery Channel, ang babae na lion, eh tiger!” I told him that those were two different animals. The next day he conceded, “Tama ka, iba nga yung lion sa tiger. Ang  babaeng lion pala…eh lioner.”


13 Responses to “The Best And The Rest 47”


  1. July 14, 2008 at 12:00 am

    Nauntog ako kakatawa!

  2. 2 Hobbez
    July 14, 2008 at 1:47 am

    OMG HILARIOUS!!!!!! I laughed so hard I peed a little!

  3. 3 ka pedring
    July 14, 2008 at 10:57 am

    one time nag aalmusal kmi ng 5 yrs old niece ko i asked her to spell the letters in the biscuits packaging..she goes..a-p-a-s!! sbi ko wow ang galing!so basahin mo,sagot: TINAPAY!!

  4. 4 cza
    July 14, 2008 at 11:14 am

    funny funny funny!!! more more! ^____^

  5. 5 miming
    July 14, 2008 at 1:19 pm

    One of your Daily Top Tens that I have on my Archive! hahahahahaha!!! MORE!!!!!

  6. 6 mai-siomai
    July 14, 2008 at 2:06 pm

    LOL! I’m in a meeting while reading this! Just imagine how hard i tried to stifle my laughter! waaahahahahaha!

  7. July 14, 2008 at 8:11 pm

    i like this top ten.

    Sharing: during our prelims, one of my students raised his hand and asked, “Ms. are we going to circle the answer?”
    I replied, “What does the instruction say?”
    “Circle.”
    “So?”
    And this is college. geez!

  8. 8 earthangel
    July 16, 2008 at 11:27 am

    Hi Chico and Del,
    I recently re-discovered you guys thru blue ritz blogspot. Been an on-off listener for quite some time already… :-) I have some top 10 suggestions… Dont know if these have been featured already, anyways, here they are:
    1. signs that you have crossed the boundaries
    2. signs that you are about to get laid/or not to get laid
    3. signs that you are being abused/abusive…
    4. reasons why you need a new cellphone hehehe!!!

    BTW, nice photos

  9. 9 val
    July 16, 2008 at 11:40 am

    marami sa mga pagkakamali ay hindi naman dahil sa hindi matalino yung mga tao, pero dahil hindi relevant sa experiences nila yung mga bagay na pinag-uusapan. halimbawa, yung Java. kung wala ka naman talagang pakialam sa mga programming languages, hindi mo magegets na hindi pala sinasalita yun, at least sa kapwa mo tao.

  10. 10 val
    July 16, 2008 at 11:42 am

    kay cigarette girl: encircle po kasi. ang ‘circle’ bilang verb ay paglalakad paikot.

  11. 11 alan
    July 16, 2008 at 8:41 pm

    lol. very funny! hey chico how about posting the top ten signs you found ur true love… heard it the other day on the morning rush..

  12. 13 maestra_kaye
    July 17, 2008 at 2:32 pm

    hi chico!

    this is one of the best!

    would like to share my story: at the end of every school year, our administrator gives money for us to have “eat-out”. one time, we decided to eat in a restaurat that serves Buffalo wings. So we ordered Bufflo wings, when our order was served, one of my collegues said: “AY, BAKIT PURO PAKPAK, GUSTO KO KASI LEG OR THIGH PART!” nobody reacted because she’s one of the senior teachers in school.


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