The Farm (Infrared)

Right after I got home from our first landscape class in Laguna, I immediately bought an I.R. filter because I fell in love with it. So when I got my grubby hands on the pricey filter, I was excited to try it out in a place where there was a lot of green. So what better place than The Farm in San Benito! It was mostly cloudy and even rainy on our second day there, the day I was supposed to shoot my I.R. pics. Plus, I couldn’t get my camera to accept the data of the green grass I was taking pictures of. When using I.R., you need to preset the white balance to the green grass you’re planning to shoot, but my camera flat-out refused to accept the data. My dreams of trying out my new filter were almost dashed, when suddenly, the sun came out for about 30 minutes, and my camera suddenly accepted the data and I was off!

The sun would shine then hide, giving me little pockets of sunshine. I.R. photography sometimes takes a full minute of exposure at a time, so it was frustrating when the sun would suddenly be engulfed my massive rain clouds. But no matter, I was able to squeeze out a couple of shots.

My I.R. shots have a weird flavor. Usually, they’re bluish in tint, but mine came out with golden hue. So instead of an icy, wintry feel, mine felt more like…Jurassic. To me they look like pictures taken during the time of the dinosaurs.

Well anyway, here they are:

The Farm in San Benito

A couple of weeks ago, we had a really hectic, toxic week and we felt that we just needed a break away from it all. So we decided to revisit a health resort that played quite an important role in my life. About 5 years ago, I went to The Farm in San Benito in Lipa, Batangas, and tried out their detox program, where for 5 days, I only took in liquids, mainly green juice (lettuce blendered in fresh coconut water), water with psyllium husk and other stuff I don’t remember, enzymes and virgin coconut oil. I also had colemas and colonics (manual and mechanical enemas), and massages of all types. Their restaurant also serves mostly only raw food, very healthy stuff that really straightens out your digestive system. Almost 5 years after, we came back for an overnight weekend stay.

When we got there, it pretty much still looked the same, but this time, we stayed at the Sulu terraces, a different type of cottage, a smaller type from the one I stayed in years ago.

It was like a little village of little huts. The other rooms were much bigger and more plush, but we were really curious about this one because it looked so cute from the outside.

When we got in, we were not disappointed. It was very small, but it was so much fun because it had such a unique feel to it. It was like living in a tree house or a bahay-bahayan. And don’t be fooled by the simple exteriors, the inside was surprisingly luxurious.

It was so comfortably quaint, it seemed like we were living in an upside down boat. That night, I slept soundly like a log, one of the deepest sleeps I had in months.

The only beef some people have about this cottage is that you have to go downstairs and outside to get to the bathroom. So it’s pretty inconvenient if say, it’s raining hard and you had to poop at 2am. All the other cottages had toilets inside the rooms. But personally, it’s nitpicking for me, because I really love the adventurous flair of that unique cottage. Besides, the bathroom was gorgeous. I LOOOVE the tiles; it’s like raw marble, that’s not polished, so it’s a little rough, but it’s beautiful to the eye and intriguing to the touch.

After unpacking our stuff, we headed straight to the spa where we had our body scrub and massage.

We had an incredible avocado body scrub, made of freshly harvested avocados, which were plentifully in season in Lipa, with coconut shreds and other wonderful stuff. It felt so decadent to have that fragrant melange, good enough to eat, slathered on our tired bodies. Then after a hot shower outdoors (that felt sooo good too), it was then time for the massage. I chose the rose scented oil and it was an incredible experience. We were unanimous that it was one of the best massages we ever had.

Also at the spa, was for me, the best pool in the universe. It was an infinity pool, but it was the tiles (again!) and the water temperature that for me sealed the deal. It isn’t always like that though. The last time we went, during the cold months, the water was freezing. But that day, it wasn’t cold, it wasn’t warm; it was perfect. It didn’t hurt that the view was spectacular.

It was painful to leave that watery womb we were soaking in. After showering and drying out, we decided to stroll the grounds of the health resort. The sprawling grounds abounded in greenery with many pockets of peace they call meditation areas. Some are small, some are big. The biggest and main meditation area, where I once joined a sunrise meditation session, is called the amphitheater. It’s one of my most favorite places because I had a “moment” there 5 years ago, as I sat there, alone, looking up at the moon, in a cloudless sky. Suffice it to say, it was life-changing. The world as I knew it was never the same. No details since it’s understandably a very private moment for me.

It also faced a large pond, with a little gazebo in the center, where ducks sometimes lounge around.

By the time the sun fell, we were ravenous. I loved my dinner, it was a pineapple-based “fried” rice with vegetable kebab. I wolfed it down in a minute. After a surprisingly filling vegetarian meal, I still had time to shoot some night pics. So I went around with my trusty tripod and tried to capture how the place looks like at night.

It wasn’t long before I had to go back because my eyelids felt like a ton of bricks. After the long drive, the relaxing body scrub and massage, the swim, the taking of pictures, and the hearty dinner, sleep was suddenly the oasis in the desert. The moment my back hit the bed, I was out. It was heartbreaking to leave the next day, back to work. The resort is definitely not cheap. That kind of luxury comes at a price. Call them up at 8891150 or 6963795 or check out their website in case you want to give them a visit: www.thefarm.com.ph. It took a big bite out of my budget, but for me, it was quite worth it. I don’t mind spending and spoiling myself every now and then. When I have enough surplus money in the future, I’d like to go through their detox again. It’s nice to come back there after 5 years, taking home brand new memories.

The Best And The Rest 51

In this day and age where everyone is just a text or call away, fewer and fewer people write letters the old-fashioned way.  And part of the casualties is the lost art of writing notes.  Remember the days when you forgot to tell someone about something, so you stick a note on the ref to leave whatever instructions you may have forgotten?  Now it’s getting obsolete since you can just text everyone, even your yayas.

April 25, 2008 → The Top Ten “Notes” Moments

1. No name – It happened during my birthday a couple of years ago. While I was driving to a restaurant to celebrate with family, I was puzzled why cars, buses and jeepneys were all honking at me three times. When I got to the restaurant I found at the back of my car a note that said, “Honk three times to greet me. It’s my birthday!” My officemates put it. It really made my day.
2. Em-em Unggoy – While on a jeepney stuck in traffic, I saw this note on a wall: “BAWAL UMEHE DETO. PAG LALAKE, POPOTOLEN. PAG BABAE, TATAHEEN”.
3. Jose de vengenge – Sa sidewalk: “Bawal umihi dito.” And near it: “Dito pwede.” Another sidewalk: “Bawal omehe deto, mahole potul tete.”
4. Jose de vengenge – I once saw a sticker in Educ promoting breastmilk: “Masustansya ang gatas ni Inay.” And near it someone put a note: “Sabi ni Itay.”
5. No name – I once left a note to my crush: “Ako ang scientist mo at ikaw ang lab ko!”
6. Doc Juan – Seen on a church wall in Malate: “Pls don’t leave your bags unattended; people might think it’s the answer to their prayers!”
7. Shoao da Brat: Back in college, I saw this at the back of a Dapitan-UST jeep: “PAG LIBOG ANG PINAIRAL, SIRA ANG PAG-AARAL”.
8. Kenike – I’m on a jeep right now with a note in fr0nt that says “Fool the string to STOP”.
9. RC N CESS - In an ukay-ukay stall, an employee wrote in a small cardboard “WANTED: SALESLADY, MALE OR FEMALE”.
10. No name – On a campus bulletin board, College of Law, there was an org note that read: “Question Everything”. Beside it, someone put a note that read: “Why?”
11. Jhoy – Notes found in: jeeps & buses: “Before pay, tell were get the on before get the off”; Mandaluyong: “Bawal umehi dito. Ang maholi bog-bog”; Makati: “Don’t parking”; Cubao: “None I.D. nothing entry”.
12. Nappy Boy – One day in school we were so noisy, when suddenly a teacher stepped into the room and angrily wrote on the board “QUEIT!”
13. Jag – Found a note on my desk: “Somebody loves u, and it’s me”. Called my girlfriend, thanked her for the note. It wasn’t her. OMG, one of our biggest fights!
14. Jacq-jacq – My mom left me a note: “Anak, stay foot. Babalikan ka namin.”
15. RC N CESS – On a wall in high school: “BAWAL MAG-GRAFFITI DITO!”
16. Bards/Pink Spark – Story from senator Flavier. In the early days of his marriage, his wife noticed that there were droplets on the rim of the toilet bowl every time he pees. One morning, there was a note on the bowl that said, “Go closer my dear, it’s not that long!”
17. Jose de vengenge – Sa FA in U.P.: “God is dead. – Nietzsche” And then one beside it replied: “Nietzsche is gay. – God”
18. ALLEN – Read at the men’s room of the AS Bldg in UP: “Here I sat br0ken-hearted, tried to shit but only farted”.
19. McMaki – My officemate came back from a business trip & brought peanuts as pasalubong for us. He left it at the pantry and placed a note on the board saying: “May mani sa panty, kuha na lang kayo!”
20. Ms. Snoozy – My cousin left a note on my desk: “Magtataka ka after you read this.”
21. Old Lady – I saw this writing on the wall in Mindanao: “Tatlo ang umihi dito. Lahat patay”.
22. Poch – At a coffee shop, someone scribbled: “Ei cutie!” on my latte using choco syrup.
23. Joltino – My teacher found a note on the toilet door that said, “Look up!” So he did. There was another note on the ceiling that said, “Look down.”
24. No name – I was smiling at a cutie on the MRT who offered his seat to me, and who was now standing in front of me.  Then I saw a note stuck on my ID that my sister wrote that said in huge letters: “I borrowed tampons.”
25. Jose de vengenge – A vandal in one of the CRs in Math: “Pagtapos mo gamitin, paki-PLUS mo naman!”
26. Jose de vengenge – In a Chem classroom: “You Boron!”
27. (CHICO: and then there were the series of entries that were obviously a series of jokes.) BedBathed Mitch - “Wala na ba akong karapatang magmahal?” From: Gasolina.
28. BedBathed Mitch – “Pinapaikot mo lang ako. Mabuti pang patayin mo na lang ako!” From: Electric fan.
29. Gorgeous Bitch – “Katawan ko lang ang habol mo!” – From: Hipon.
30. Missed – “Ikaw man ang lumagay sa lugar ko, gugustuhin mo pa bang mabuhay?” – From: Buhok sa puwet.
31. No name – “Paano tayo makakabuo kung hindi ako papatong sa iyo?” – From: Lego.
32. BedBathed Mitch – “Bakit ba ako na lang palagi ang pinag-iinitan niyo?!?” – From: Takure

Lifehouse: Live In Manila!

I was glad to be a part of another huge event for Pinoy music lovers, Lifehouse live in Manila! I just got home from the Araneta Coliseum, and the music is still ringing in my ears (in a good way, and not just in a tinnitus way). We got there pretty early, with most of the seats still empty.

Eventually the seats started filling up, and before we knew it, the venue runneth over. True enough, it was a sold-out event. I knew Lifehouse had a strong following in the Philippines, but I didn’t expect the fans to be as rabid as say the fans of Maroon 5 or even Vertical Horizon. But the minute the band hit the stage, with their charismatic lead, Jason Wade, the deal was sealed.

It was actually nice that like Maroon 5, they didn’t have a front act. Nothing against local bands, but if you’re wired to see a certain act, local or foreign, it’s a bummer to have to sit through a set of a band you didn’t really go there for. That’s why it’s a thankless job to front for anyone. The band was incredible. You know how a lot of recording artists sound great on CD but sound only about 70% as good live? Lifehouse sounded like one of their records and then some. Jason Wade hardly wavered with his musicianship, hitting every note and emotion perfectly.

They ripped through most of their hits, but most notably, they brought the house down with “Hanging By A Moment”, “Whatever It Takes”, “First Time”, and the inescapable anthem, “You and Me”. By the end of their encore, fans were shouting “Everything!” for the band to sing the song. But like “Sick Cycle Carousel”, they skipped that. But it was nice that they ended with their latest single, “Broken”.

By the end of their show, the band was gushing about the audience, which we always enjoy, and they were saying (as a lot of acts do) that we were so warm and they just loved being here and even wanted to extend a couple of days. It would’ve been nice to have caught them at RX when they dropped by for an interview, but when I went home to get my camera, I laid down for a minute, and without meaning to, fell fast asleep. By the time I woke up, the band had long gone from RX. Trust me to miss out on a once in a lifetime chance because of a nap.

What I really liked about the band was that they performed with all their might and all their heart. Even the songs that they knew weren’t popular, they performed like it was their biggest hit. They sold me one song that I never heard before but instantly loved, just based on how well they performed it, a song called, “Better Luck Next Time”. Loved it.

Again, thanks to She and Mario for an unforgettable evening.

Landscape Lessons: Laguna

This is the main reason I got into photography. I wanted to shoot animals and landscapes. So our little photo group were so stoked to finally take our landscape lessons with Richard Larrios. We left early morning that Saturday and went straight to Laguna to learn the basics of landscape photography. Our first stop was at the twin falls. There was a small pool next to the small falls, but it was destroyed by typhoon Frank. But good thing there was enough falls for us to shoot. It took us quite a while before we got our shots right since we were plagued by bad composition, pale colors, and clumsily getting to know new equipment.

Personally, that was the first ever time I used my tripod, so I was as clumsy as an elephant seal on land when it came to my tripod. It was also the first ever time I used filters of any sort. Here’s what I came up with.

The smaller falls:

The bigger falls:

Then for our second stop, we went to the Japanese garden, which didn’t look like much, since it was basically lots of grass, a bridge, and a decrepit, rust-eaten playground. But surprisingly, from behind the camera, and with a little imagination, there’s a lot of images to be extracted.

This was also the start of my love affair with the infrared filter, or I.R. I’ve heard about it, but we never really learned how to use it in our basic photography lessons. Plus, it’s a love-it-or-hate-it kind of thing with photographers. Many consider it a fad, many stay away from it, but many are enthralled. Being a newbie, consider me as one of those who oooh and aaah every time I see an I.R. picture. Here’s a couple of shots I took using the I.R. filter for the very first time. I.R. shots usually end up bluish, but mine turned out on the golden side.  No complaints though, I kinda like it.  Not much fancy post-prod here, this is pretty close to how it really looks, straight from the camera:

What’s essential though when taking I.R. pics, is a lot of sunlight. Unfortunately for us, the sun went out earlier than expected because it started raining, and that means party’s over as far as photo shoots are concerned. So we weren’t able to visit our final stop which was the lighthouse in Caliraya. It really broke our hearts not to shoot there because we’ve seen so many nice pics of that place.

Good thing we took lots of regular, filter-less shots as well in the Japanese gardens. At least we got pics out of a rained-out weekend. Here are some of the stuff I came up:

We were disappointed missing out on the final stop, but we were happy with the new skills we picked up. We were beyond excited about the following weekend, where we were scheduled to visit Zambales this time, but we were also dreading the onset of the typhoon season, which usually peaks in July. That…is another story altogether.

(Thank you to Lennie Reyes for the group pic!)

The Best And The Rest 50

I will never forget that Youtube clip of one of the most popular young stars, as she went down the stairs, and tripping mid-adlib, causing her to blurt out the P.I. expletive to be heard by everyone on national T.V. It was just hilarious, with its sheer off-guard honesty. Or the time a huge star sneezed midway into her heavy dramatic scene, then went on, in tears, into the rest of her monologue.

April 23, 2008 → The Top Ten Worst Things You’ve seen on T.V.

1. Jose de vengenge – A gay pageant reported by Mark Logan. Host: “Ano ang advantage mo sa iba?” Gay: “I think and believe…na bilang isang napakatalinong bading…ano nga po ulit yun question?”
2. jedi mstr – On Eat Bulaga’s “Shes got the look”. Vic: “What is your best asset?” Girl: “Asset? Actress!” Vic: “No, your best ASSET!” Girl: “Ah…asset! Actor!”
3. Jose de vengenge – In a talk show. Host: “Describe your loved one in 3 words.” Guest: “Kahit nga po one word kaya ko!” Host: “Ok, sige! One word!” Guest: (feel na feel) “In one word, MY LIFE!”
4. Maynman- Funny headlines: “Mga panadero, umalsa!”; “Witness na driver, umatras!”
5. Shutterbox – Reporter: “Magpapatis…TINOYO!”
6. Jose de vengenge – Reporter: “Katulong…ayaw tumulong!”
7. No name – A TV host asked a starlet promoting a sexy movie: “How do you feel about getting naked for this movie?” Starlet: “I have no KWANGS about getting naked.”
8. Butterfly – Calendar girl contest on Eat Bulaga. Vic: “How far will you go on a first date?” Girl: “Siguro po…Tagaytay.”
9. No name – Female newscaster reading headlines: “U.S.A. nakaligtas sa yelo!” (long pause…looks off-cam…then looks back at camera) “Usa!!! Usa, nakaligtas sa yelo!!!”
10. Dignus – Famous actress/TV host while interviewing The Corrs: “Why did you name your band…The Corrs?”
11. Diemyrus – A showbiz reporter with a hairlip, during a review of German Moreno’s movie, “Payaso”: “Mulok. Mulok ang Mayaso…”
12. Cal – An annoying host asks a girl: ”So what school are you from?” Girl: “St. Scho po.” Host: ”Ah, sa St.Scho Escolar!”
13. Jose de vengenge – Yasmien Kurdi promoting Bakekang: “Wag niyo pong kalilimutan panoorin ang Bakekang. Makikita nyo, magiging pangit ako dito for the first time!”
14. Jose de vengenge – Kuya Germs: “Salamat at pinaunlakan mo kami, Juday. Dahil diyan, may ibibigay kami sa iyo courtesy of Video City. At ito ay… Aircon?!? Aircon!” Juday: “Talaga po? Salamat po!” Kuya Germs: “Ay…’Con Air’ pala! Isang VHS tape ng ‘Con Air’!!!”
15. Simpleng Mataray – A starlet was asked: “What’s your edge over the other girls?” Girl: “Edge? 24 years old po.”
16. Eylek – An episode of Shaider. Lumabas ang monster. Nag-transform si Shaider. Biglang nagsalita ang monster: “AKALA MO CUTE KA!”
17. Jose de vengenge – In a gay pageant reported by Mark Logan. Host: “What’s the one thing that symbolizes happiness for you?” Gay: “Uhm…eggplant po.”
18. No name – A former member of That’s Entertainment who later became an action star: “And now, ladies and gentlemen, the dashing…the debonaire…Lilet.”
19. Maynman – During an awards show, where the hosts were Roderick Paulate and Manilyn Reynes the announcer goes: “And now…your hosts for the evening…DICK and MANI!”
20. Jose de vengenge – Reporter: “Isang bangkay…natagpuang…PATAY!”

My New Phone!

Thanks to everyone for sending me your suggestions! At least I got a better idea of what’s available out there.  But the choice boiled down to love at first sight.  I ended up with a phone that I don’t think is as sturdy, actually I’m scared to death of dropping it, and it’s also my first qwerty phone.  I’ve always resisted getting a qwerty phone because I’d have to go out of my comfort zone and learn a new gadget all over again (which I dread).  But like I said, it was very much like love.  Suddenly all the criteria went out the window and I chose based on…nothing.  So, without further ado, my new phone is…the Nokia E71!

It was only 3 days in the market when I got it last week, so I was really taking a big risk since it may still have bugs that plague first generation gadgets.  But it just looked so cute, it’s like a smaller version of Nokia’s other qwerty phones.  The size is perfect for my hand, but the keypads are a little too small for my big fingers (wink,wink).   But I can live with it.  And surprisingly, learning the qwerty was way easier than I thought.

Finally I can relax for another year before I even consider looking for a new phone.  I got my new baby and we’re getting to know each other a little better everyday.  I’ll name her: Tillie.  Get it, Tillie-phone? Har. Har. Har.

The Best And The Rest 49

It’s an old parlor game: to get your porn star name, just get the name of your first pet ever, and the name of the street where you first lived. Put them together, and voila, you get your porn star name. My first dog ever was named Ginger, and the street in Cubao where I was born, was named Detroit. So my porn star name? “Ginger Detroit”! Well, at least that’s the game. Of course after a couple of batches, people just ditched the whole concept altogether and just started making up porn star names, and making up their own rules.

April 22, 2008 → The Top Ten Porn Star Names

1. Maia Bird – April Shaw
2. Eylek – Wasakiki Gumamela
3. Guelmytes – Bekang Palakpak
4. Takleza – Doug Zulueta
5. Gie – Jazz Dacanay
6. Warrior Poet – Jumpy Biglangbunot
7. Pocahonkhonk - Star Rindot
8. No name – Maica Champaca
9. Altis – Long John Takipsilim
10. Viscount_lestat – Miranda Ermita
11. Tantantiniiin - Bismarck Makisig
12. Leone – Florante Cottonwood
13. Joshua – Kent O. Tinio
14. Jose De Vengenge – Jack Kulintang
15. Jose De Vengenge – Obi Comeonboneme
16. Ohana – Kina Bayou
17. Krinessa – Donald Duck Wack-Wack
18. No name – Dickie Ochoa
19. June Six – Lucky Kenya
20. Mau – Chino Pacia
21. Jose De Vengenge – Malou Wang
22. Jose De Vengenge – Papa Quan
23. No name – Rolly Rapido
24. No name – May Tulo
25. RC & Cess – My cousin had a limping dog he named POLIO. Apparently they lived in PASCUAL St. in Makati. So, his porn star name will be “POLIO PASCUAL”.
26. Espeks – Jack Biyak
27. Joeshred - Emma Swallows
28. Jorik True Story: My dog’s name was “Kiko” and believe it or not, my street name is “Matsing” street.
29. Maynman - Our dog’s name is Goldie and our street is Longhorn.
30. Anghel – My dog’s name is Tekla, and our street in Manila is Dugaduga.
31. Jetlog – Pamela Mamulamula
32. Mikzinger Z – Tasty Imburnal
33. No name – My dog’s name is Jack and we live in a barrio named brgy. Malaking Saging, so my entry would be “Jack Malaking Saging”.
34. JKL – Pubey Rainforest
35. KiD BuKid – Cujo A. de la Cruz corner P. Santos Jr.
36. Coach Danny – Skip Yas
37. Enargie – Slurpee Ortiz
38. No name – Pussy Mhay Kutowski
39. Blutiger – Bomba de Castro
40. Jose De Vengenge – Sidney Shelldong
41. Jose De Vengenge – Ang Lee Bog
42. Espeks – Kinky Delpan
43. Jose De Vengenge – Pepeng Makati
44. Jose De Vengenge – Ronald McFondled
45. Jose De Vengenge – Brad Titt
46. Tad – Agapito “Pitong” Pulgada
47. Mixmaster – Chuchu Pine
48. Cheyenne – Trinkette Czechoslovakia
49. Pugong Tagalog – Elna Elna
50. No name – Mariposa Banlat
51. Espeks – Big Boy Bolitas
52. Espeks – Totoy Kuyakoy
53. Hanazawa Rui – Bibo Bonanza
54. Mu_Langot – Pablo Job
55. Kemusabe – Rosa Mistika Biglangbuka
56. KissMyJudas – Tootsie Pooh Biglangluhod
57. No name – An actual name of a beauty queen from Tahiti: Sawanah Satiti

Corregidor 3

Our driver (pictured above) would just drive us back and forth to the different sites, sometimes even back to previous sites in case we felt like it. As we drove around, it was just ruins after ruins after ruins. It’s fascinating, but at the same time depressing because the torn down buildings are solid reminders of how life must’ve been during World War II.

Next stop we went to another place where there were cannons and guns and other artillery stuff. By this time I was getting ruins and guns fatigue, so I decided to shoot stuff other than ruins and guns.

Right outside of the gun area, we saw a peculiar tree. Manong driver posed a risqué question to us. He said, “Hulaan niyo kung ano yang puno na yan: lalaki o babae?”

Since we thought we knew where he was going with this, with a smile we answered, “Obvious ba, eh di babae!” Then he goes, “Mali…lalaki yan…pero nakatuwad.” Har har har.

Last stop, we we went to the war memorial. It was a very solemn place, and it really makes you reflect on the horrors of war and the heroism that it breeds. At the very entrance, there were many stones which had on them, the names of the officers in charge of Corregidor at the time. There were so many that after reading a couple, most likely you’d skip the rest. But my eye caught one stone which had a very familiar name.

Again, there were ruins…

And finally, the war memorial. I’ll post pictures of how it looks like as you get closer to the memorial from the very entrance so you get a step-by-step visual of the memorials layout as you approach it.

And outside of the memorial, there was a monument depicting the Filipino-American friendship during the war.

By the time we were done, we were all drained and dehydrated…

But it was all worth it. It was quite an experience going back to Corregidor after seeing it way back in the 70’s or 80’s during my childhood. It’s nowhere near the place I remembered it to be.

There’s just a part where they posted the schedules of the ferries and stuff. When I saw this sign…

Nothing out of the ordinary, right? Strangely, my eyes zoomed in and focused at once on three letters…

Moral of the story: You can find sex in the most unlikely of places.

After a whole day of shooting under the sun, we felt like we went to battle ourselves. Back at the ferry, we were knocked out instantly, sleeping through a Douglas MacArthur documentary, and woke up only after we started docking. We ate a quick dinner at Terriyaki Boy, then drove home to sleep like a log. Corregidor left us with images we won’t soon forget…

(Thanks to Lennie Reyes for this barrel shot of me)

The Best And The Rest 48

Everyone’s got a waiter story. This was one of the Top Tens that I wished we did when we were doing a 4-hour shift because there were just so many good entries. My friends from college had tons of waiter anecdotes, but for the life of me I couldn’t remember any of them.

April 18, 2008 → The Top Ten Waiter Moments

1. Creature-Jo – In a resort while ordering for lunch, we asked the waiter what their specialty was, and he answered what sounded like, “stupid pusit”. When we asked him to describe it, he pointed the item on the menu: “stuffed pusit”.
2. No name – I went to a turo-turo to buy tapsilog. I told the waitress my order & she replied, “mam, stereo po ba?’. I got confused & askd her, “ano yun?”. She took out a styro plate & told me, “mam, eto po. Pag takeout, nilalagay namin sa stereo-powm”.
3. Inew – A friend ordered coffee, “Miss, isang coffee without creamer”. The waitress answered “Sir, wala kaming creamer. Milk ang gamit namin. Ok lang ba sa inyo kung coffee without milk nalang?”
4. Mar Tin – Dad: (reading the menu) “Miss may EVAT na ba tong nasa menu nyo?” Waitress: “Excuse me ha! Malinis tong restaurant namin, noh!”
5. P135 – An officemate submitted a travel expense report with a meal receipt that said, “adobong faucet”.
6. No name – Waiter approaches our table and politely asks my dad: “Are you done, sir?” My dad, looking confused, replied hesitantly: “No…I’m Daniel…”
7. JT – My very fat and sweaty friend ordered from the waiter, “Isang lechon manok, dalawang order ng chicken skin, apat na stick ng isaw, dalawang stick ng tenga ng baboy, isang sisig…AT…isang Diet Coke.” The waiter was shocked and said, “Ano, nagda-diet kayo?!?”
8. Highlycharismatic – I called the waiter and said, “Bakit ganito ang ulam, walang lasa! Wala ba kayong cook dito?” The waiter replied, “Wala po kameng COOK dito, PIPSE lang! PIPSE!”
9. No name – A friend ordered chicken in a resto. When he got his order, he found that there was no fork. So he asked the waitress, “Ba’t walang fork?” The lady answered angrily, “Ba’t ka naghahanap ng fork, eh diva cheeken ang order mo?”
10. No name – I am working in a restaurant as a waitress. One day, I had a foreigner guest w/ his Filipina girlfriend. The foreigner ordered first, “One rib eye steak, medium.” Then the Filipina ordered, “Rib eye steak also, small.”
11. Mar Tin – Dad w/ friends entering a not-so-wholesome pub. Dad: “Ano ba ‘tong lugar na ‘to, kadiri naman!” Waiter: “Bossing! Same table?”
12. Superstarfish – When I was in a hotel in Cebu, I ordered pistachio ice cream. Pagdating, it was ube ice cream. When I asked the waitress kung bakit ube yung dinala niya, she told me plainly, “Wala na kaming pistachio, at parang mas bagay sa inyo ang ube…”
13. J.Li – After paying at a fast food, the cashier cheerfully said, “Here’s your BELL, enjoy your MELL!”
14. Belekoy – We asked for an official receipt and the waitress asked, “Ma’am ano pong ilalagay sa receipt?” And I said, “Blanko nalang.” The waitress came back with the OR and written on it, “Ms. Blanco”.
15. No name – One summer in Pangasinan, our yaya ordered, “PANKIK and BEEKON”. When the food arrived, it was hot tea and pancit bihon.
16. Jacq-jacq - One night at a fast food counter, I ordered, “Isang Meal B…” The girl started screaming, “Si Sam Milby?!? Saan?”
17. Missed – We asked the waiter, “Anong meron kayo?” The waiter started scratching his butt and replied, “Ser…almoranas po, eh…”
18. Mama Mia – While working in an exclusive golf club as duty manager, an arrogant member ordered an omelet. When his order came, he looked at it and shouted “May bangaw sa omelet ko!” Our waiter, knowing how much of a complainer he is, went to his table with a fork, got what he was pointing to, and ate it. The waiter then said, “Ser, hindi po bangaw! Bawang!” Satisfied, the customer continued eating. Later, I talked to the waiter and asked him, “Bawang ba talaga?” The waiter started crying, “Ma’am, bangaw nga!!!”
19. Jem-O – I was ordering at a Mexican resto: “One burrito, please.” Waitress: “Ma’am ano pong feeling?” Me: “Ano, deep inside?”
20. CHESA – I ordered Mountain Dew but the waiter brought the wrong drink. I asked him, “Ano ‘to?” He answered, “Diba umorder kayo ng Mango Joo?”
21. Jose de vengenge – A friend, as we were ordering, noticed the waiter’s huge bulge. She was so focused on it, that when the waiter asked for her order, she blurted out, “Isang nilagang bakat…”