The Best And The Rest 43

Sometimes, what we say accidentally reveals what we REALLY think. I’m actually pretty mali-mali, meaning, whenever you “gulat” me, I exclaim whatever horrible thought is swimming in my head at that moment. It’s a nasty trait, I tell you. I almost got into many fights, many times because of this.

April 8, 2008 → The Top Ten Slips Of The Tongue

1. Purple- Once I was talking to my Chinese friend about New Year. Afraid he was thinking of Chinese New Year, I said, “Hindi Chinese New Year ha, yung New Year naming mga normal na tao!” We just had a good laugh about it once I realized what I said.
2. Criscris – I used to work in a call center. I have to put a customer on hold because I have to research for the solution. I said, in polite way “Sir, is it okay if I hold you for about 2-3 minutes?” He said, “Sure! If you want to do it longer, that’ll b fine”.
3. Brooke – I’m from an all girls school. I had a classmate with pimples who kept on pricking them in front of a mirror during breaks. One day, I had to borrow her mirror, and I ended up saying, “Puwedeng pahiram ng pimple?”
4. Bebang – Our receptionist was nervous on her 1st day. She got a call saying ‘”Please connect to local one one zero”. She ended up saying, “One one moment.”
5. Your Hotness – I was in the parlor in Alabang, when this guy came in for a haircut. Most of the stylists there were gays. When it was his turn, the gay stylist asked him, “Sir, what cut po?” He answered, “German Cut.” Then, when he realized his mistake, he blushed.
6. Ligaya – One time, nag takeout ako ng breakfast sa Mcdo. Instead of ordering hash brown, I ended up ordering, “Isa ngang hush puppies!”
7. DJ Mastrplanr – My best friend and I went to the beach with our respective boyfriends. When it was time to eat, I kept calling her boyfriend but he was ignoring me. Until I realized I was shouting out her ex-boyfriend’s name pala!
8. Eylek – Ordering at a Japanese fast food, the cashier asked my friend if she wanted a fork or chopsticks. My friend replied, “Fork chop, please!”
9. KiD BuKid – Years ago when I was still working in a fast food joint, I was in a hurry to punch out when our supervisor asked me to get the customer’s order. After getting them, I asked her, “Ma’m, take out or go home?”
10. V54 – Someone told me news about a person we know, but whom I secretly despise. Apparently that person met a very serious accident but survived. Instead of saying, “Buti naman nakaligtas”, ang nasabi ko ay, “Buti nga sa kanya…”
11. Jose de vengenge – I saw this years ago on “Unang Hirit”. There was a storm & a reporter was doing a live report. He said: “Nailipat na po ang mga pamilyang nawalan ng tirahan sa EJACULATION center!”
12. No name – When I went to my tita’s fiesta in San Mateo, may manong na naglalako ng quail eggs. Then, my tita was eating roasted peanuts. Lumapit yung tita ko dun sa manong, then as she checked out his products, nalalaglag yung peanuts sa mga quail eggs. Sabi nung manong, “Miss, yung mani mo, tumutulo sa itlog ko!” My tita blushed.
13. BM – My barkada was watching HBO and no one could figure out the title of the Brad Pitt movie we were watching. Finally, one friend, who was a divorcee for 8 years and running, shouted, “Alam ko na, ‘Meet Blow Job’!” She meant “Meet Joe Black”.
14. Itan-D-Pogi – We were in a feeding program at Baseco in Tondo, when suddenly a friend saw me and ask me what was I doing there. I proudly told him, “Namimigay lang ng pagkaing pang patay gutom.” What I wanted to say was, “pangtawid gutom.”
15. No name – A guy friend & I were having lunch. He was eating pusit that time but he didn’t want to eat the tentacles. So he asked me, “Gusto mo, iyo nalang testicles ko?”
16. Cyrus – A famous painter was a guest in our school and I was doing the introduction for him. When I finally met him, I was greeted by the worst body oder ever. When it was time to introduce him, I was supposed to say, “Ang bantog na pintor…”, I ended up saying, “Ang bantot ng pintor…”
17. Cynthia – My cross-eyed friend was telling me about how well her business was doing. I blurted out, “Wow, eh di doble ang kita mo?”
18. Esther – My husband brought home a very dark-skinned officemate for dinner. When it was time for dessert, I brought out bibingka and told the guest, “Gusto mo lagyan ko ng niyog-niyog?”
19. Nathalie – Me & my friend were in the canteen when my grade 5 teacher Ms. Valiente entered. Since she was a very fat lady, we accidentally greeted her: “Good morning, Ms. Valiena!”
20. Marion – I always suspected my teenage son as being gay. One day, he brought home a gaggle of teenage gays for lunch. As I was serving lunch (I prepared nilagang baka), I blurted out, “O, pinaghanda ko kayo ng specialty ko: Nilagang Bakla!”
21. Dr. Bad – When I was giving a check-up to a remarkably overweight patient, instead of “Say aaah!”, I absentmindedly ended up saying, “Say oink…”