The Best And The Rest 45

This is a touchy subject for many people.  Given that Filipino families are generally big, it’s a fact that for every parent’s favorite, there are 3 or 4 or more kids who are not.  And it’s also a fact that all kids crave for their parents’ approval, which more often than not, ends up in frustration.  Nothing against the favorites, it’s just that we outnumber them.  Hmph!

April 11, 2008 → The Top Ten Signs That You Are NOT Your Parents’ Favorite

1. Shiver – When my father got back from working abroad, he bought my sister a very expensive guitar. I asked for a Pictionary, but they refused because it’s “expensive”. I settled for a Visionary which costs less than 500 pesos. My mom was glowering at me like anything a few days later that I offered to pay for the toy just to settle it. Guess what? She accepted.
2. Archangel Miguel – My mom would lend my stuff to my kuya without my consent. But if I were to do the same to my kuya’s stuff, I’d get reprimanded.
3. No name – During my high school graduation, my dad chose to bring my sister’s clothes for her UP med sorority initiation instead of attending my graduation. I decided not to attend my graduation.
4. Jose de Vengenge – I grew up w/o a dad. On my HS graduation, it was my brother who went w/ me because my mom had “work”. After the ceremony, kuya decided to treat me to a mall, pampaalis ng lungkot baga. And there we saw mom w/ her officemates, laughing & having a drinking session on a hot afternoon. Lalapitan sana ni kuya pero sabi ko wag na. When kuya confronted her at home, she said it was a lunch meeting.
5. No name – When my brother graduated, they bought him a new car. When I graduated, I got a pat on the back, as they told me, “Good job, now you can earn and buy whatever you want…”
6. No name – The people in our village know that my parents only have 3 kids – we’re actually 4.
7. stalecookie – If the electric bill, water bill or any utility bill goes up, it’s automatically your fault, no questions asked.
8. BM – Pag umuwi ang parents ko from an event, kakainin ko yung take home nilang food. Tapos, sasawayin nila ko and say, “Wag mong ubusin yan! Di pa kumakain ung iba!” Eh tatlo lang naman kami sa house. Wala naman akong kapatid.
9. Acer/Pugong Tagalog – When you’re the panganay but you’re the one who gets the hand-me-downs.
10. Jack – When my brother passed the chemical engineering licensure exams, my mom said, “Ang galing!” When I passed the interior design licensure exams, she said, “Naku, naka-tsamba ka!”
11. Pia - My father once said to me, “Ikaw ang pinakamahina ang kokote sa inyong magkakapatid. Hindi ko alam kung paano kita ipagmamalaki.” I never talked to him since…
12. Tonks – When my brother almost got separated, my parents tried to patch things up between them. When me & my hubby had a terrible fight, they told us to just get separated, as simple as that.
13. Almond811 – At breakfast, there was one fried egg left and I forked it over to my plate. Mid-air, my mom says, “Uy, that’s for your brother.” But we both haven’t had breakfast.
14. Ciela – We are 3 sisters & a youngest, ONLY brother. One day, my mom served fried eggs for the 3 girls, and fried chicken for the only boy. She said wag na kami magtampo kasi pareho lang naman daw yun. Yung lang sa amin, niluto na, di pa nagha-hatch.
15. tummy illfigure  – If after 20 years, you realize that the birthday party you celebratd when you were young, was actually the bday of your older brother. This is after I reviewed the photos showing the same guests wearing the same clothes.
16. SupladaMD – When I was still in Med school, I asked if I could borrow the family car because I couldn’t carry all the books I had to bring to an overnight study group. They told me, “Naku di mo pwede gamitin yung kotse, kasi susunduin ng kapatid mo ang girlfriend nya.”
17. Tony – Family tradition: When someone graduates, our parents would ask, “car or cash?” I’m the only AMA grad in a family of UP grads. When I graduated, I was the only one who wasn’t offered any.
18. Ms. Fickle – When you cooked a special meal for the whole family, tapos sasabihin ng parents mo, “Wow! Sarap naman niyan! Anong meron?” — forgetting it was your birthday.
    
19. Tani – When you saw a years-old letter from your mom w/ part of that letter stating “MAS MAHAL KA NAMEN NG PAPA MO KESA SA ATE MO…”
20. Mr. Perk – They call your other siblings w/ sweet nicknames and terms of endearment, while all you get is “Ssst, halika nga dito!”
21. Chacho – Every Christmas when I was a kid, I would always get cash as a Christmas present, whereas my brother would get the most hi-tech toy and my sister would get the biggest Barbie house and accessories. They always gave me cash because they never bothered to know what I liked, kaya ako na lang daw  ang bumili ng gusto ko.
22. Powerful Alice – Hindi ka paborito ng parents mo kapag nanghingi ka ng 500 pesos tapos ang sagot nila sa iyo ay: “Ha? 400? Ang laki naman ng 300! Saan mo naman gagastusin ang 200? Akala mo ba madaling kitain ang 100? Singkwenta nga lang, hirap na ko! Sampu pa kaya? O, etong lima!”

Our new job!

Starting tomorrow, Monday, June 30, we will also be known as Teacher Chico and Teacher Delle!  We were offered a teaching post by St. Paul College, Pasig, and we will be holding 2 classes, one for Grade School and one for High School, and we’ll be teaching radio broadcasting as an elective subject.   The classes will be held once a week, Mondays for Grade School and Thursdays for High School, and we’ve accepted the offer.  AND, believe it or not, we start teaching tomorrow!

It’s really just weird.  About 2 or 3 years ago, we already entertained the idea of teaching.  Not full time, but to teach radio broadcasting part-time, if we could fit teaching into our schedule.  We never really did anything concrete about it; it was one of those, “we should try that out someday” kind of discussions.   We were originally thinking of college, since that’s were radio is taught as part of most communications courses.  We were also thinking of universities which were near our area, which narrowed down the choices to U.P. Diliman, Ateneo, and Miriam.  Like I said, it was merely a daydream for us, but we never really did anything about it – we never talked to the said schools, we never sent our resumes, we never even researched if we were actually qualified to teach anything!

So imagine our surprise when we heard that St. Paul was open to having us teach in their school, and doubly surprised that we were teaching such young girls!  So now, our challenge is to come up with a syllabus for the younger girls and a different one for the older ones.  Plus, we want them to have as much fun as possible while learning as much as we could teach.  We really had to think long and hard if we were up to the challenges of teaching.  Could we survive the schedules?  Would we do a good job?  Would we measure up to  the St. Paul standards?   Do we actually have anything to teach these young girls?  We just want to make sure that we can give it our best, our undivided 100%.   This is one job that we do NOT want to get into half-baked.  If we jump, we want to jump head first, a total leap of faith.

So, we’re very nervous, but at the same time extremely excited about our new job as teachers.  It’s another longtime dream come true for both of us, another reason to be thankful.  Wish us luck! We can’t wait to meet our students!!!

Taal Town 1

I swear this post is sooo late. It’s been so long since I posted my pics. I’m about 3 phtot trips late. But, just like menstruation, posting my pics is better late than never. After we went to the Taal crater, we decided to check out Taal town a couple of weeks later. It was the side of Taal that people rarely got to visit. Everyone wanted to see the volcano side, not so much the old town side.

This will be just a prelude to the next post, where I’d put the more detailed pictures. I’ll put the more colorful pictures here. So are the “bursts of color” pics:

Again, more pics of the actual sites in part 2. We also got cute pics of cute kids. I swear, it doesn’t matter where we go, it doesn’t matter what their state in life may be, kids are adorable wherever they may be.

We also had great meals, starting off with a lunch of traditional Batangas specialties:

And of course our reward for a grueling whole day shoot, mostly in stifling heat — a hearty Italian dinner at the gorgeous Buon Giorno in Tagaytay:

Plus, since we’re such camera gluttons, we ended up taking photos before and after dinner.

And just to balance off all that color…

Part 2 will show you the actual sites that we visited and pictures that give a better feel of Taal town.

(To Be Continued…)

The Best And The Rest 44

I’m pretty distracted as I blog about this, because we might have something big coming up by next week. Delle and I have to make a huge decision that will definitely change our lives at least for the next year. Can’t give details yet, but will tell you about once we’ve made a decision. Back to the Top Ten, we did this for the movies, so someone suggested we try the same thing for songs. It turned up quite funny, so here it is.

April 10, 2008 → The Top Ten Tagalog Translations Of English Songs

1. Marcus – De do do do de da da da (The Police) – Ang dede ni Dada.
2. Marcus – Hungry like the wolf (Duran Duran) – Ihain mo, kakainin ko.
3. No name – Nothing’s gonna stop us now (Starship) – Sira ang preno.
4. Missed – Thriller (Michael Jackson) -Madam Auring
5. Glenn & Mich – Wind Beneath My Wings (Bette Midler) – Putok
6. Beiram – Until I get over you (Christina Millan) – Ako naman sa ibabaw.
7. Loi Pogi – Stand By Me (Ben E. King) – Nang Tabihan Mo Ko, Tumayo!
8. Dekobe – My humps (Black Eyed Peas) – Kampanerang kuba.
9. Loi Pogi – True Colors (Cyndi Lauper) – Ay, Pangit Pala Pag Malapit.
10. Loi Pogi – The Space Between (Dave Matthews Band) – Yun Ang Masarap!
11. Coolanie – Get Down (The Backstreet Boys) – Luhod!
12. Ryan Paul – Smells like teen spirit (Nirvana) – Amoy utot!
13. No name – What’s Going On (Marvin Gaye) – Bakit Basa?
14. Joel – Don’t Worry, Be Happy (Bobby McFerrin) – Hindi Masakit…Promise.
15. KRISTIAN – Irreplaceable – Magpalit ka na ng napkin!
16. SPY Shadow – Ready or Not (The Fugees) – Birhen man o hindi, eto na Pare!
17. Marcus – I still haven’t found what I’m looking for (U2) – Masyado kasing malago.
18. Anto – Jenny (The Click 5) – Ang supladang kapitbahay ko na feeling maganda, pero mukha namang yaya.
19. Marcus – Always something there to remind me (Naked Eyes) – Ang misis kong bungangera.
20. YñaKì – Headlines (Spice Gilrs) – Dalawang Bading, nag-umbagan dahil sa isang machong kargador sa pantalan!
21. SPY Shadow – Big Girls Don’t Cry (Fergie) – Bansot lang ang umiiyak!
22. Cheyenne – Come Undone (Duran Duran) – Sariling Sikap.
23. No name – Unbelievable (Craig David) – Ows?
24. Dru – Eversince the world began (Survivor) – Maligayang Kaarawan, Madam Auring.
25. Jhoy – Hanging by a moment (Lifehouse) – Ay, ba’t lumambot?
26. Sheryl – 4 minutes (Madonna) – Ano, tapos ka na?
27. Mu_langot – Skyline Pigeon (Elton John) – Kalapating Mababa Ang Lipad.
28. Espeks – Killing me softly (Roberta Flack) – Pinapatay habang humahalinghing.
29. Vingz – No Air (Jordin Sparks) – Kalbo.
30. Corona – No Air (Jordin Sparks) – Umahon ka naman diyan, hon…
31. Jedi Mstr – No Air (Jordin Sparks) – Walang Tagapagmana.
32. Physical TheRapist – No Air (Jordin Sparks) – Sino umutot?
33. Heidi- Hand in my pocket (Alanis Morissette) – Kinakamot ko lang!
34. Kashimira – Hands to Heaven (Breathe) – Na-bullseye mo kid!
35. No name – Forever Blue (Swing Out Sister) – Patay na.
36. Tani – Low (Flo Rida) – Lawlaw
37. Demizielle – I‘ll never get over you getting over me (Expose) – Di ako papatong sa yo, ikaw ang pumatong sa akin!
38. Diemyrus – Clumsy (Fergie) – Ma-tulya.
39. Loi Pogi – Stairway To Heaven (Led Zeppelin) – Ang Mga Hita.
40. No name – Touch My Body (Mariah Carey) – Hugas Na Yan…

My Newest Babies

They’re not just gadgets, they’re my children. Metal of my flesh, grease of my blood. I really had to dig deep, no, make that DEEEP, into my wallet for these two babies. But, every time naysayers say, well, nay, I give my requisite justification which is: these gadgets will be way too expensive once the dollar goes up again, which it will, and by then I couldn’t afford to purchase these wonderful equipment, crucial to finding my center and inner peace. So, by spending more now, I actually save more money in the long run. Makes sense? It does to me.

So first, I have been lusting after this lens for the longest time. I have the Nikon kit lens 18-55mm, but I’ve always longed for longer lenses, so I finally convinced myself that this is not luxury, but indeed, necessity. Presenting: my new Nikon 18-200mm lenses! Now I can go paparazzo on my subjects! Love this telephoto lens. Plus, my mom asked me to pick her gift for me, so I picked the Nikon SB600 external flash!

Next, we go to my mega baby, the baby to end all babies! This one, I really sweat bullets for before I decided to take the leap. I really couldn’t spare the budget for this, given that I’m saving up for more “important” things, but again, it was the dollar argument that done me in. Plus, given that I now host a world-famous and award-winning blog of all blogs, my friends convinced me that paired with my newfound hobby of photography, I’d need, not just a new laptop, but a desktop with a huge screen. Of course, given the techno-idiot that I am, I succumbed ever so willingly, and without any hesitation. So presenting, my spankin’ brand new…iMac!!! Woot-woo!!!

I know I’m going to pay for this for the whole year, but seeing that baby on my desk, was pure sensual pleasure! It’s worth every mamera. And oh, did I mention I bought both on the same day? If I may quote my Grade 5 Araling Panlipunan teacher when she lost her cool and threw reams of work sheets in the air, “Sabog kung SABOG!!!”

Now, how to deal with buyer’s remorse…

The Best And The Rest 43

Sometimes, what we say accidentally reveals what we REALLY think. I’m actually pretty mali-mali, meaning, whenever you “gulat” me, I exclaim whatever horrible thought is swimming in my head at that moment. It’s a nasty trait, I tell you. I almost got into many fights, many times because of this.

April 8, 2008 → The Top Ten Slips Of The Tongue

1. Purple- Once I was talking to my Chinese friend about New Year. Afraid he was thinking of Chinese New Year, I said, “Hindi Chinese New Year ha, yung New Year naming mga normal na tao!” We just had a good laugh about it once I realized what I said.
2. Criscris – I used to work in a call center. I have to put a customer on hold because I have to research for the solution. I said, in polite way “Sir, is it okay if I hold you for about 2-3 minutes?” He said, “Sure! If you want to do it longer, that’ll b fine”.
3. Brooke – I’m from an all girls school. I had a classmate with pimples who kept on pricking them in front of a mirror during breaks. One day, I had to borrow her mirror, and I ended up saying, “Puwedeng pahiram ng pimple?”
4. Bebang – Our receptionist was nervous on her 1st day. She got a call saying ‘”Please connect to local one one zero”. She ended up saying, “One one moment.”
5. Your Hotness – I was in the parlor in Alabang, when this guy came in for a haircut. Most of the stylists there were gays. When it was his turn, the gay stylist asked him, “Sir, what cut po?” He answered, “German Cut.” Then, when he realized his mistake, he blushed.
6. Ligaya – One time, nag takeout ako ng breakfast sa Mcdo. Instead of ordering hash brown, I ended up ordering, “Isa ngang hush puppies!”
7. DJ Mastrplanr – My best friend and I went to the beach with our respective boyfriends. When it was time to eat, I kept calling her boyfriend but he was ignoring me. Until I realized I was shouting out her ex-boyfriend’s name pala!
8. Eylek – Ordering at a Japanese fast food, the cashier asked my friend if she wanted a fork or chopsticks. My friend replied, “Fork chop, please!”
9. KiD BuKid – Years ago when I was still working in a fast food joint, I was in a hurry to punch out when our supervisor asked me to get the customer’s order. After getting them, I asked her, “Ma’m, take out or go home?”
10. V54 – Someone told me news about a person we know, but whom I secretly despise. Apparently that person met a very serious accident but survived. Instead of saying, “Buti naman nakaligtas”, ang nasabi ko ay, “Buti nga sa kanya…”
11. Jose de vengenge – I saw this years ago on “Unang Hirit”. There was a storm & a reporter was doing a live report. He said: “Nailipat na po ang mga pamilyang nawalan ng tirahan sa EJACULATION center!”
12. No name – When I went to my tita’s fiesta in San Mateo, may manong na naglalako ng quail eggs. Then, my tita was eating roasted peanuts. Lumapit yung tita ko dun sa manong, then as she checked out his products, nalalaglag yung peanuts sa mga quail eggs. Sabi nung manong, “Miss, yung mani mo, tumutulo sa itlog ko!” My tita blushed.
13. BM – My barkada was watching HBO and no one could figure out the title of the Brad Pitt movie we were watching. Finally, one friend, who was a divorcee for 8 years and running, shouted, “Alam ko na, ‘Meet Blow Job’!” She meant “Meet Joe Black”.
14. Itan-D-Pogi – We were in a feeding program at Baseco in Tondo, when suddenly a friend saw me and ask me what was I doing there. I proudly told him, “Namimigay lang ng pagkaing pang patay gutom.” What I wanted to say was, “pangtawid gutom.”
15. No name – A guy friend & I were having lunch. He was eating pusit that time but he didn’t want to eat the tentacles. So he asked me, “Gusto mo, iyo nalang testicles ko?”
16. Cyrus – A famous painter was a guest in our school and I was doing the introduction for him. When I finally met him, I was greeted by the worst body oder ever. When it was time to introduce him, I was supposed to say, “Ang bantog na pintor…”, I ended up saying, “Ang bantot ng pintor…”
17. Cynthia – My cross-eyed friend was telling me about how well her business was doing. I blurted out, “Wow, eh di doble ang kita mo?”
18. Esther – My husband brought home a very dark-skinned officemate for dinner. When it was time for dessert, I brought out bibingka and told the guest, “Gusto mo lagyan ko ng niyog-niyog?”
19. Nathalie – Me & my friend were in the canteen when my grade 5 teacher Ms. Valiente entered. Since she was a very fat lady, we accidentally greeted her: “Good morning, Ms. Valiena!”
20. Marion – I always suspected my teenage son as being gay. One day, he brought home a gaggle of teenage gays for lunch. As I was serving lunch (I prepared nilagang baka), I blurted out, “O, pinaghanda ko kayo ng specialty ko: Nilagang Bakla!”
21. Dr. Bad – When I was giving a check-up to a remarkably overweight patient, instead of “Say aaah!”, I absentmindedly ended up saying, “Say oink…”

Net-Net Mo! 2

( Photo courtesy of pixdaus.com, posted by jchip8 )

This is an incredible image captured in Key West, Florida of cow-nose rays. These rays are known to swim at the water surface, making this breathtaking shot possible. Gee, I wish I was there to take this pic. I’m suffering from extreme photo-envy. Plus, the one animal that’s been on top of my diving wish list for YEARS, has been the much elusive (at least for me) manta ray. I was supposed to dive at the manta bowl, off the coast of Masbate, during the Holy Week break in 2006, but on the morning of the dive, the only compressor available near the island conked out, dashing my dreams of seeing one underwater. The only salt water my underwater camera tasted that day were the briny teardrops I shed copiously as I mourned my manta-less vacation.

(Photos courtesy of ohnotheyd!dn’t)

Meet, the Nagi Noda hairhats. At first I thought they were actually hairdos, but apparently they were just the latest in Japanese pop artist Nagi Noda’s repertoire. Can you imagine wearing one of these to your next formal event? The prom, maybe? A wedding? The possibilities are endless…

There is no way to describe Kathreya of Big Brother 9 UK, except to let you watch her yourself. A little intro: In this video, this self-proclaimed cookie-holic was asking, actually begging, Big Brother to let her have some more cookies. Just watch it for yourself. To see, is to believe.

The Best And The Rest 42

Haaay…it’s so hard to blog when you’re sick.  I’ve been sick since yesterday and I almost didn’t make it to work this morning.  I woke up at 6:08 in my watch (it’s advanced) and I was punching in at 6:14 in the same watch.  Hell-driving like anything.  Anyway, here’s another fun Top Ten, one of those topics you just don’t take seriously, but have a fun time in the process.

April 7, 2008 → The Top Ten Ways To Complete The Statement: Over Sa ___ Ang ___ Ni ___

1. Hanazawa Rui – Over sa wrinkle ang pickle ni twinkle.
2. YñaKì – Over sa kunat ang peanut ni Chat.
3. Jeddie – Over sa kulot ng buhok ni Charot.
4. Jose de vengenge – Over sa tulis ang lapis ni boris.
5. SPY Shadow – Over sa mini ang bikini ni Pitimini.
6. Raymund: Over sa buhos ang pulbos ni Palos.
7. Cheyenne – Over sa yummy ang zucchini ni Johnnie.
8. Your Highness – Over sa pakpak ang shuttlecock ni Jack.
9. Jose de vengenge – Over sa trulalu ang eklavu ni cherilu
10. Jose de vengenge – Over sa buhok ang mais ni luke.
11. No name – Over sa bate ang itlog ni pare.
12. JB – Over sa lamon ang mamon ni ramon.
13. Masterchief – Over sa unat ang donut ni Chitchat.
14. Masterchief – Over sa anghit ang singit ni Kitkit/Den – Over sa sungit ang anghit ni Pete.
15. Hannah – Over sa Tambok ang Umbok ni Andok.
16. Dek – Over sa pangith ang singith ni Janith.
17. Joeshred – Over sa tabas ang balbas ni Hestas.
18. Vie – Over sa buka ang hita ni Lita.
19. Legend – Over sa birit ang awit ni Tiririt.
20. Vie – Over sa himas ang texas ni Kulas.
21. KiD BuKid – Over sa tambok ang bundok ni Soc.
22. Your Highness – Over sa pintog ang hotdog ni Doug.
23. Cheyenne – Over sa alembong ang puto-bumbong ni Bongbong.
24. Joeshred – Over sa kate ang bigote ni Dante.
25. Cheyenne – Over sa walastik ang nightstick ni Dick.
26. Hanazawa Rui – Over sa katas ang ubas ni Jonas.
27. SPY Shadow – Over sa lupet ang anghet ni Suzette.
28. No name/Bloodfist – Over sa salat ang patpat ni erpat.

a HAPPY birthday

This is probably my happiest birthday. You’re probably wondering why I summarily pronounced this judgment so early on in the day. I’ve had literally much better birthdays in the past — when the family was more complete, when I had the best gifts I could ever want, when I had big birthday parties with all my family and friends around, when more people visited the station bearing gifts and warm tidings, when the day fell on a day-off and I could spend it with loved ones — I could think of so many birthdays that qualify literally as “better” birthdays. This year definitely pales in comparison. It’s probably down there in the bottom of the totem pole as far as rankings are concerned. I spent last night, the eve of my birthday with my closest friends, and I’ll spend tomorrow night, the day after my birthday, with my family. But today, on the actual day of my birth, I’ll be spending most of it alone. But you know what, despite the low key celebrations, this is strangely my most quietly happy birthday of all. I don’t know how to put it into words. I’m not giddy happy, or hysterical happy, or laugh-out-loud happy, or smile-all-day happy, or I-can’t-believe-how-lucky-I-am-happy…I’m just happy. My type of people are never good with happy. We’re largely suspicious of it, we secretly think it’s merely a prelude to sad, and we always think it’s mainly fleeting and superfluous. Sad, on the other hand, is dramatic, and deep, and profound, and lingers around for years. So it’s quite strange that I feel very still, and very pensive but in a good way, and most of all, the pervading feeling that’s engulfing me right now…is the feeling of GRATITUDE.

An officemate asked me earlier what my birthday wish was, and for the life of me, I couldn’t think of anything more that I could want. Obviously I could come up with a million and one things I wouldn’t mind having — like winning the lotto or owning my own beach resort in Palawan — but for this moment, I realize, “I’m good.” If life were a meal, for the first time in my life, after decades of ravenous, insatiable hunger, I feel quite satisfied. Don’t get me wrong, because I still want things, but not having them yet won’t take anything away from what I have now. Things could be better. It would be nice if my Dad’s still around. It would be nice if our family’s complete. It would be nice if I were financially secure. It would be nice if I didn’t have my recurring headaches. It would be nice if none of my loved ones had any health concerns. But on the other hand, I finally found love that had eluded me since birth, I have family and friends around me, I have a great job that I love doing 18 years strong, I have a roof above my head, I get to travel every now and then, I go diving and indulge in photography, and the “happy” list goes on much longer than the “sad” list. It’s weird…I’m not HAPPY happy, I’m happy happy.

So after posting this, I’ll de-clog my cell phone (I ran out of memory because of all the texts I received since this morning) and text back all the lovely family and friends who took time to text me a happy birthday, then I’ll probably take a nap, wake up to groom our shmooshy Yorkie, Cairo, and probably try and clean up our room of the remaining clutter. After dinner, I’ll go to the cats and feed them and groom them, then back home to sleep so I’ll be rested when I wake up to get to work tomorrow morning. It’s not the high life, but it’s my life. And I love it.

Day After Dad’s Day

I really miss my Dad. It was Father’s Day yesterday and it’s a celebration that I’ve automatically shut out mainly because I haven’t had a father since my Dad passed away in 1996. Father’s Day, my birthday, and my Dad’s death have always been intertwined since that fateful day. My birthday, June 17, always falls a week or two away from Father’s Day, since that falls 2nd or 3rd Sunday of June, or something like that. In 1996, my birthday came around two weeks after Father’s Day. It was the last ever gathering my Dad ever attended since we checked him in to the hospital maybe 2 or 3 days after my birthday. A day after we brought him to the hospital, he went blind, had multiple seizures, and eventually went into a coma. A day after that, and he passed away — June 22, a mere 5 days after my 29th birthday. So every time my birthday comes rolling along, I remember my Dad.

It was nice having a father. I had that safe, secure feeling that as long as he was around, everything would be okay. And even if things don’t turn out okay, he’ll be there, to cushion the blow. He wasn’t affectionate, he wasn’t warm, and he didn’t wear his endearments on his sleeve. But by some arcane enchantment, he made us all feel LOVED, without saying it, without displaying it.

It’s ironic then, that the best thing that ever happened to our family was his death. It was only after he died that we all had to finally grow up. We all needed to grow some much needed backbone. We relied so much on his guidance, his fortitude, his stability, that we not only made him our rock, we made him our crutch. And when you take away the crutches, we then had to learn how to walk again for a second time.

It’ll be 12 years on the 22nd since he left us, but if I close my eyes, I can seriously suspend disbelief and actually feel like he’s still alive; that he’s just downstairs, sitting in his lazyboy, reading a newspaper. Strangely, during my most trying of times, he is still the first person who pops into my head, as if my mind was programmed to automatically beg him for help. I’m reduced to that tiny toddler, holding his arms straight up, as a sign that he’s weary, and that he needs his Dad to pick him up and carry him, to deliver him from the burden of carrying his own weight.

I really miss him a lot. When I start paying bills, buying a car or a home, getting insurance, getting a memorial plan and generally worrying about the future, I realize these were the very things he worried about at the time when all I had to worry about was getting the latest issue of “The Uncanny X-Men”. I don’t want him back; I wouldn’t want him to go all “Pet Sematary” on me. I just like reminiscing about him because I associate him with the good times. When Daddy was around, things were okay.

But to be fair, things are not so bad now, and we all have been better people since Daddy died, so it’s all good. And I consider myself a daddy as well, with 4 dogs and 3 cats. Deride me if you must, but I really take my responsibilities as a human to my pets, seriously. Obviously they’re not my offspring, and no, I haven’t bred with some hairy quadruped, but “children” have meanings other than the literal. I am my father’s child, not just literally, but also spiritually. I took from him not just nourishment for by body, but also food for the soul. He was no mystic guru who spouted fountains of infinite wisdom, but I learned more about life from him, by merely watching how he lived his life, as ordinary and mundane and uneventful as it had been. Simply, his life was led by kindness. And if I could be half as kind as my father was, I’d be twice the man I am now.