The Best And The Rest 27

I remember countless teachers who proffered the adage, “There’s no stupid question”, but even if that were the case, for sure there are stupid answers. Where do I even start…

March 6, 2008 → The Top Ten Worst Answers To A Question

1. Thea’s Dad – In high school, our English teacher asked my classmates to give a sentence. A classmate answered, “mother baked a cake.” The teacher got irritated and asked, “wala ka na bang alam na ibang sentence? Our classmate answered “mother baked another cake?”
2. No name – An unidentified person texted me so I replied, “who r u?” He replied, “this is me, is dat u?”
3. Wilson – When I was about 10 yrs old, me and my dad went to the cemetery, and I noticed 2 initials R.I.P and D.O.M. in the same tombstone. I asked my dad, “Ano po ibig sabihin ng R.I.P?” He answered, “Rest In Peace.” Then I asked, “eh yung D.O.M.?” He paused, and said, “Don’t Open Me.”
4. Powerful Alice – I once asked an officemate, “Naku, paano na yan, delikado daw ang mga cute diyan sa may Crossing!”. He retorted, “Wag kang mag-alala…safe ka.”
5. Happy Dorothy – Our teacher said, “Class, our lesson for today is science. What is science?” A student answered, “…our lesson for today?”
6. Lucas – Sa Divisoria, the saleslady asked, “Ano pong sa inyo sir?” I answered, “Siyempre hindi kagaya nung sa ‘yo!”
7. No name – One day my dad and I wer walking in our village. A tricycle stopped and the driver said, “Tricycle?” My dad looks at the tricycle then says, “Oo nga, noh?”
8. Beng – My aunt asked me, “Dust pan ko?” I thought she was asking about my exams, so I answered, “Sa Chemistry.” She then proceeds to go to the atis tree to check, comes back and says, “Wala naman eh!” Then I replied, “Bukas pa!”
9. Shining – One of my Korean students went to Canada knowing only the most basic of English. One day, he was hit by a car while riding his bike. The driver asked him, “How are you?” My student replied, “I’m fine, thank you. And how are you?”
10. Shiela – We asked an applicant, “Why should we hire you?” He answered, “Because you have an opening and I need a job?”
11. Joanna – I once asked a friend, “Anong sa palagay mo?” Ang sagot: “Ewan, di ako mapalagay eh!”
12. No name – In a resto, the receptionist asked my dad “Ilan po sila?” My dad quickly replied “Ako isa, sila ewan ko.”
13. No name – A judge in a beauty contest asked a contestant, “Why did you join this contest?” The contestant answered, “Me? Join contest? Thank you.
14. Adrian – I onced asked someone, “How long have you been a magician?” He answered, “Sometimes 1 minute, sometimes 2 minutes…”
15. Jowie – My friend asked the question and answered it herself. Question: “Ano ngang tawag dun sa lips na red? ” Answer: “Ah…red lips.”
16. Marcus- My brother and I were eating pansit. After a few spoonfuls I said, “Bakit parang lasang panis?” My brother chimed in, “Oo nga, at bakit ang konti?”
17. Syudin – In a quiz show, the contestant was asked, “Ano ang kinakain ng monkey-eating eagle?” The contestant answered, “Saging!”
18. Loipogi – During a pageant – Host: “I heard you almost didn’t make it here on time. Did you walk or did you ride?” Candidate: “Of course did you ride! What do you think of me, did you walk?”
19. Howe – In an 80’s show, the host asked an actress, “Are you aware of the current political problems we have?” The actress answered, “I’m afraid not.” The host asked another actress, “How about you?” The other actress replied, “Naku tito, I’m afraid also.”
20. No name – I work in a call center for DSL internet connection. I asked a customer, “Why are you cancelling your service?” He complained, “Nobody told me I needed a computer to connect to the internet.”
21. Zhe Archer – One of my colleagues asked a claimant for benefits, “When is your birthday?” The claimant answered, “Between 1946 & 1947.”
22. Camie 28 – One day I asked my busmate, “Why?” She answered, “Because!” I asked again, “Because…?” And she answered, “Why?”
23. Imay Anna – I asked someone, “Anong jeep ang sasakyan ko?” Ang sagot, “Siyempre yung may gulong.”
24. Rx addict – KOYA: “Inday, nasaan na ang soap maliligo na ako!” INDAY: “Koya, iniinit pa po!” KOYA: “Ang soap, iniinit?!?” INDAY: “Opo, ang know-dell soap!”
25. No name – I asked our yaya, “Anong isda yan?” She answered, “Yung lumalangoy…”
26. Loipogi – I finally asked a friend we have long suspected to be gay, “Are you gay?” He replied: “Only if you are…”
27. cbboating – I once asked an MMDA officer, “Saan po papunta sa Wack-Wack golf and country club?” He answered, “Mula dito sa Shangri-la, derecho lang, tawid ka ng flyover, tapos pagbaba ng flyover tanong ka ulit sa MMDA.”
28. Morenang Kaligatan – Overheard in a restroom: Girl 1: “May tissue ka?” Girl 2: “Wala, ikaw meron?”
29. No name – Conversation between 2 guys: Guy 1: “Pare anong ibig sabihin ng ‘coincidence’?” Guy 2: “Pare ewan, pero weird, yan din iniisip ko ngayon!”
30. Izel – When I asked my friends, ‘”Sinu-sino kayo diyan?” They answered, “Kami-kami…”
31. Roni – One time I asked a classmate, “Bakit wala ka kahapon?” He answered, “kasi absent ako eh…”
32. No name – Overheard conversation: Guy 1: Bumili ka ng laptop? Anong brand?” Guy 2: “Brand new!”
33. Marcus - We were in Ateneo looking over the Marikina valley view. Manila memorial park was very visible so I asked a pal, “Ilan kaya ang patay diyan?” He answered, “Lahat.”
34. Rodel – A teacher asked, “Sino ang gustong pumunta ng heaven?” A classmate answered, “Ma’am, gagabihin po ba tayo?”
35. Jose de Vengenge – In a gay beauty pageant, a contestant was asked, “What do you think is the root of all our economic and political crisis?” The contestant answered angrily, “Ano ba ‘to, beauty contest o quiz bee?”
36. Jose de Vengenge – True story. I once asked a female classmate, “Uy, gusto mong sumali sa paluwagan?” Her answer? “Ay…di ako pwede…virgin pa ko, eh.”